In Doctor Crygor's lab on Diamond Harbor…
"Gentlemen," Dr. Crygor said, being strapped up to something. "There's a chance this will work!"
"Actually, Dr. Crygor," Orbulon said, "there's no chance this will work."
As it turns out, he was strapped to a vat of BBQ Sauce.
"FOOL! THAT WILL NEVER WORK!"
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Persona Task Force: Holiday Specials
Thanksgiving.
(A/n: Basically, I'm doing something a little different here. If anything, I'm sure the thought didn't come to mind, but sometimes you have to make at least one or two. Only difference between the fanfic and TV is that they get stale only if one is made. Oh, and this is a parody of the Dressing from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, as it was the only Thanksgiving-related special I could think of. The Dr. Crygor thing is basically what I imagined him doing once in a while.)
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(Enter Andrew's POV)
"Okay," I said. "What to get them for Christmas?"
If anything, I had no clue what to get them. David might want a new Xbox 360 game, Tyler's trying to sucker me into getting him a new processor, but the girlfriend is basically a complicated species.
That, and it's the last week of November, so I had to shuffle THAT task to David. Unfortunately, the closest thing to turkey is the usual chicken.
That, and after the last few adventures, I'm flat broke, and not even cards can help out. I really wanted to get Trisha a fox-patterned diamond necklace, too.
"Sometimes Christmas can be the worst day of the holidays," I heard a familiar voice say.
"No kidding." In surprise, I turned to see an old friend. "What are you doing here, Fox?"
"Same thing you are," he replied. "Only problem is how to actually get it without her knowing."
"I think I've read this in a fanfic before. You have to make it the last thing on your mind in order for it to work." Talk about irony. "By any chance are you guys coming over to the workplace? I've introduced the concept of Thanksgiving to Travis, and he seems eager to try, only his grandkids are elsewhere."
"Alright, but we might need to get inside the office building for it. Something's gone wrong, and if anything, we might prevent it from happening if we're inside."
I nodded, remembering that episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
Later that Thursday, we basically had the Star Fox Armada over for a make-shift Thanksgiving dinner, and almost immediately, I was dreading it.
"I will ruin this bird with my anger!" Unfortunately, it was David who said that, and as weirdness would have it, someone busted in the house…holding Panther Caroso of all people by the neck.
"Drop the chainsaw if you want him to live," the robotic turkey said.
Everyone was stunned considering that this guy had used Panther, our commonly hated enemy and all-around madman, as a hostage…and I had asked, "You mind putting him down? He's not exactly invited here, and we haven't tangoed with each other."
"Yet," the bird said, throwing him out.
"Somehow, I knew I was being followed," Panther said, walking away, "and next time, I'm killing you all. Stupid robotic turkey. I knew something was off…"
"Is he mad?" the turkey asked them.
"He takes his frustration out on us when we cross paths," I said. "Now, what the heck are you doing here?"
"I am Turk-A-Tron, and I am here to take the turkey, who is in fact the great-great-grandfather of the great Gobblox, with me to the future."
"Tough luck, man," Falco said. "He's already been in the oven."
"Impossible." Poking it, the turkey was angry. "He's dead! Do you know who Gobblox is? I will tell you what Gobblox is. In the year 9595, the chickens had become a master race and had made the turkeys the only food source in France, which is now called RoboFrance 29. I was killed by the Chickens, and am now reconstructed in this robot body, so you can see why I'm pissed at these chickens."
"Have we met before?" I asked him. "Because you sound VERY familiar to me."
"Of course I do. Months and months ago, you and I have tangoed when I was known as GlaDOS in the mainframe. However, I had failed to notice that you were one of them, so I had to erase my memory…and yours as well."
Okay, now I KNOW that's a load of crap, because GlaDOS was female.
"I find that hard to believe," Trisha said.
"Same here," Fox said, with everyone nodding in agreement.
However, Turk-A-Tron took a look at what Travis was eating. "Is that a Taco Pie?" He nodded. "TACO PIE!"
"I happen to be unaware on what filling was at the time," Travis said, "so I played it by ear."
"Enjoy those tacos now, for in a thousand years, they will be illegal. I think we all know why."
"Bad case of Taco farts?" Wolf asked, jokingly.
"Anti-taco-legislation-disestablishmentarianism."
However, Travis and David had scooted over towards the hallway and led us to it.
"There is no way that this guy's from the future," Travis said.
"Same here," I said. "If anything, this guy's been lying in wait since I got here."
"I don't know," Slippy said. "He may be from the future."
"Yes, Slippy," Fox said, rolling his eyes. "In the future, everyone carries a trash bag with socks in it."
"Excuse me?" Turk-A-Tron yelled. "Those are laser-guided weapons, and I get CRAZY if you touch them!" Sure enough, he was drinking wine. "Pass me more wine. I require it to finish."
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"Any luck on shutting him up?" I asked Tyler.
"None so far," he replied. "We're going to need some kind of miracle to do so."
"Well, you might as well check his alcohol intake, because he's becoming tipsy."
Sure enough, he had fallen.
"Hang on a second," Tyler said, rewiring him.
Sure enough, the Turkey was brought to life. "Howdy, y'all! I'm Tom Turkey! Do the hustle!"
"Is this article relevant?" Krystal asked us.
"The one that says that 5,000 Tom Turkeys were called back because of this or an unrelated one?"
"Both. Apparently, there's a prostitution ad."
Everyone stared at Travis.
"Don't look at me," he said.
However, there was a knocking at the door…and I had answered it, much to my surprise.
"We are here for..." they said, but I cut them off.
"Next door, next door! Right next door!"
In the warehouse, Panther had answered it. "You've got to be shitting me," he said.
"What are you eating?"
"This is your, uh, great-great…"
As it turns out, those socks WERE laser-guided…and Panther was, once again, annihilated.
"Get a bunch of wire cutters," Travis said. "Your new mission is to reprogram them to their original programming."
As it turns out, it wasn't the WORST Thanksgiving day ever, but we did have a bit of fun watching football afterward.
To be continued...
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(A/n: Yes, Panther WILL return. The guy has the lifespan of a cockroach WITH a head.)