The Outsiders: Darry's Point of View
When Ponyboy Disappears.
Sitting here in the living room, I can hear Sodapop sobbing in the other room for the third night in a row. Poor Soda, I thought. He lost both Ponyboy and Sandy in one shot.
Ponyboy. Just the thought of my kid brother is enough for the tidal wave of guilt to come crashing in. I winced at the memory of my last moment with him. I had taken things too far. Ponyboy had come home late, claiming that he had fallen asleep in the lot. By then I had a half mind of calling the police to search for him despite the risk of separation. I started yelling at him, even though I was more relieved than angry when I saw him. My emotions were just running high from being worried sick. Soda was trying to tell me off, but by then I had enough. I started yelling at Soda but I think Pony had had enough too. He yelled at me to shut up and that struck my last nerve. I whirled around and slapped him across the face.
It was deadly quiet after that. My eye widened at the sight of my red palm and widened further at the red spot on Ponyboy's face. Nobody had ever slapped him. He was too innocent; the baby in the family.
"Ponyboy-" I began, looking at him anxiously.
But I was too late. Ponyboy's shocked face quickly twisted into unbelievable anger. I had never seen so much hatred in those green eyes of his. It shattered my heart and the shattered pieces were further broken as I watched tears spill out of his eyes. I had done this to him, I had hurt him. I was his older brother; I was supposed to protect him! But now, I was the one hurting him.
Ponyboy threw the front door open and ran into the night.
"Ponyboy! I didn't mean to!" I yelled after him. But he was already gone.
Soda had tried to run after him that night but I had held him back.
"Let him cool off for a while, he'll come back." I had said.
Sodapop shrugged me off and stared at me with cold eyes. "Why'd you slap him, Darry? Ponyboy doesn't use his head a lot, we all know that but that was no excuse to slap him."
I looked at my other kid brother desperately. "I didn't mean to, Soda, I swear! I was worried sick about him and then he started yelling right back at me! I didn't know what to do!"
Soda's shoulder sagged and the poor boy looked torn. "Why are you so hard on him, Darry?" He asked softly. I had to lean in to listen to the next part. "You know, he thinks you don't love him. In fact, he told me that last night. So please, be easy on him."
I jerked back, shocked. Could Ponyboy really think that? But the idea was absurd. I break my neck everyday so that the three of us could be together. How could he think that I don't care?
"Soda-" I began. But he just shook his head. I had never seen so much pain and sadness on his beautiful face. He slowly walked to his bedroom and stopped at the door frame.
"Wake me up when Ponyboy comes back." He said, his voice devoid of all emotions. I opened my mouth to say something but he had already disappeared into his room. I stood there shocked and then settled into the armchair waiting for Ponyboy to come back home.
He didn't come back. Instead, the next morning we hear that he was involved in a murder rap of a soc named Bob and he had fled town with Johnny. Now he's gone and I haven't the slightest notion on where he is and it's driving me crazy!
I could feel a lump in my throat and tears threatened to spill out. I couldn't lose Ponyboy. I had already lost Mom and Dad and the thought of losing Ponyboy…
I was losing Sodapop too. When Ponyboy disappeared, it had nearly killed Soda but them his girlfriend get up and left him too. Now every night Sodapop cries himself to sleep.
A door slammed shut somewhere in the house and I had enough time to turn around and see Sodapop walk in holding a piece of paper. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was splotchy. His usual tuff brown hair was in snarls and unkempt. He crossed the room and grabbed his jacket.
"Where you going, little buddy?" I asked. He paused at the door frame.
"I need to give something to Dallas." He replied. He paused and looked at me with a hopeful expression. "I think he knows where Ponyboy and Johnny went. I found Ponyboy's sweatshirt at Buck's and you know how Dally is always at Buck's rodeo." He drifted off looking at me. "I'm also going to give him half of my paycheck to give to Pony 'cause God knows what kinda trouble he's in."
I stood up and opened my mouth to tell Soda off, that Dallas has no idea where Pony went but Soda had ran into the night. I settled back into the armchair, waiting for Ponyboy to come back as I waited for him like I did three nights ago.