Barely anyone left on Neverland could remember a time when Peter Pan hadn't been ruthless, a villain. And if anyone did, they were too afraid of the person he'd become to remind anyone else. Pan's story had been washed away from everyone's memory, a blur in the infinity that was Neverland, where the promises of endless tomorrows clouded over the past.
He's always been mischievous though, that Wendy knew hadn't changed. She still remembered the first few times she'd been to Neverland and met him, charmed by those bright green eyes and his carefree laugh. They'd play games together, mostly fun chases where she'd run as fast as she could and he'd fly after her, his teasing voice echoing in her ears. "Wendy-bird, run!" He'd call, and she'd laugh, her hair streaming behind her as the breeze tickled her rosy cheeks.
Peter was a wild spirit, always able to make her forget her responsibilities, her worries about growing up. Whenever she would fret, he'd simply raise his eyebrow, grinning at her, "None of those things matter, Wendy. They're not important anymore." And she'd agree with him completely, getting lost in the fun they had once more.
But between visits from her home in London to Neverland, Wendy found herself changing. Her parents were now proud to call her a Lady, a mature grown up member of society. And no matter how much Wendy's heart felt like it belonged in the childish escape that was Peter and Neverland, she knew it too. Wendy Darling was finally growing up.
It was on a particular visit to Neverland one night that happened to change everything. Her and Peter were sat by the lagoon, kicking their legs against the cool water. It was a pleasant evening, warm but not stifling. Wendy leaned back in bliss, arching her neck back and sighing. Peter chuckled, "Enjoying the last of the sun's rays, Darling?" She blushed at the nickname though deep down she knew Peter didn't mean anything by it. Lord, he didn't even know what she'd been beginning to feel for him.
Wendy saw Peter as so much than a friend she played games with now. He was beautiful, and she wanted nothing more than to fall into his arms and embrace him and spend infinity knowing that she loved-
Quickly, Wendy cleared her throat, "Of course. London isn't the cheeriest place right now." She avoided his gaze, knowing she'd melt right there in front of him if she did. When had this happened? When had it all stopped being a game and then suddenly become something so much more? For her, anyway.
"London." Peter echoed, scrunching his nose in confusion. Wendy couldn't resist to smile. Adorable. "Why do you always go back there? Don't you like it here?"
Her heart raced. "It's not that simple, Peter. I have a home and here isn't-"
"The Lost Boys' home is here." He added, turning to face her. Wendy frowned, noticing a glint in his eye that hadn't been there before. "And you always complain about how hard life is, how difficult. If you just stayed, you wouldn't have to cope with that ever again."
She shook her head, biting her lip as she got to her feet, "It's not that simple, Peter. I should go, it's getting late and-"
"You could stay with me." Wendy froze, her heart aching at his words. He rose to his feet, suddenly towering over her and she swallowed nervously. Peter gazed back at her, unflinching, and in that moment, she was unsure of how much of a game this was to him now. He'd always called her funny nicknames, sometimes involving a "pretty" or "beautiful" that made her blush, but there'd been no meaning behind it. She was imagining all the implications on her own, simply because she'd fallen in love and didn't how to cope with it. That was what she found difficult.
"Peter, you don't know what you're asking. Just please…" Her voice shook, no louder than a whisper, "I need to go." She went to turn around but was stopped short when his hand curled around her wrist. Wendy's pulse skipped a beat at his touch and the air seemed heavier around them all of a sudden, expectant.
"Why?" He demanded, "Life here can be fun, forever. I thought that's what you wanted." Wendy wrenched her arm out of his grip and his eyes flashed with hurt. It broke her heart.
"What I want is what you can never understand, Peter Pan." She breathed, "I no longer see the grass as just green or the sky as just blue. I see things differently now, I've changed. I don't belong here anymore."
He stared at her as if she'd just screamed at him in a foreign language. "But-"
She had nothing left to lose. Wendy knew she would never get the courage to do this again. It had to be now, while her heart was pounding in her chest and Neverland was singing, urging her on. Carefully, she reached out and stroked Peter's brown curls, watching as he stilled, unsure of what she was doing. "I want to give you something, Peter." Her voice was strong but delicate.
"W-what?" He sounded terrified. Wendy inched closer towards him, both of her hands now looping around his neck, both of their chests pressing against the other. Peter was shaking now, his forest green eyes glued on her, wide and scared.
"A kiss." It was the most simplest thing to say but the weight of her words threatened to crush Wendy altogether. Peter wasn't the only one scared now.
He frowned, suspicious, "What's a kiss?" Wendy laughed, astonished at just how little an immortal being could know. This was it. Now.
"This." She whispered, and finally closed the gap between them, pressing her lips against his. They were warm and soft, Wendy realised, and that only made her want to kiss him more. This, right here, was what she'd been wanting in secret for so long and now nothing could make her happier. She closed her eyes, burying her hands in his hair and with every second their lips were connected, her heart sang and-
And then it suddenly ended. She was thrown back, landing on the ground with a painful thud. Wendy gasped, looking up to see Peter, a shocked look on his face.
"What the hell was that?" She'd never heard him sound like that before, a venomous twist to his voice that sent chills down her spine.
"A- it was a kiss, Peter." When he didn't move, she got up, reaching out a hand towards him. He stepped back instantly, jaw clenched.
"Don't touch me. Not again." His green eyes were darkened and Wendy knew then that she'd made a terrible mistake. "I- I don't feel… I don't…" He was trembling, but Wendy wasn't sure if it was from shock, upset or even rage. Peter had never looked so angry.
"It's ok," she soothed, wanting to caress his cheek but knew that it wasn't the wisest thing to do right now, "Peter, you don't have to worry. Like you've said to me before, things like this aren't important, are they? We can just forget about it and play a game…" She didn't know what else to say.
"A game." Peter scoffed, and Wendy found that she didn't like his smirk. It wasn't playful; it was full of spite. "How long have you been playing this one with me? Tricking me?"
"Tricking you? I don't understand…"
"You've been acting different, even I've noticed. And you certainly look…" His cheeks flamed red and she bit back a smile, " … different. But just because you're accepting the fact that you're growing up Wendy-bird - that doesn't mean I want to. You're trying to weaken me, for whatever reason I don't know and I don't care-"
"Why are you acting like I'm trying to take you down or something?" Wendy exclaimed incredulously, "It was a kiss, not a stab to the back!" Peter shook his head, running his hands through his hair agitatedly; the same way she had only minutes ago.
"Then why did you do it?" He suddenly asked, and she winced at how accusing he sounded. So much for having nothing to lose. Wendy finally had the guts to show him her feelings and this is what she got as a reward. He was acting like she'd killed someone for crying out loud.
"Because… because - oh, who cares why I did it? It was a mistake and now it's done and forgotten…" Wendy let out a groan of frustration, and from the back of her mind she heard her mother scolding her for being so unladylike. First she'd kissed Peter Pan on the spur of a moment and now she was making a fool out of herself trying to cover it up. "I'm going home."
Wendy bit her lip, waiting for the Shadow to come and whisk her away into the sky and let her escape her humiliation. Seconds passed and it became clear nothing was coming for her. She turned towards Peter who had the beginning of a smirk on his face, "You're not leaving, Darling. Not until you tell me why."
His eyes unnerved her - they were hardened and dark like slate. Gone were the eyes so innocent and green like summer fields; it was like the moment their lips had met, she'd poisoned him. Wendy could still recall the feel of his mouth on hers, a faint memory she wasn't ready to let go of. Not yet anyway.
Wendy exhaled hurriedly, trying to even out her breathing. She needed to calm down. When she met Peter's gaze, she felt her knees start to wobble. All he had to do now was smile and she knew she'd tell him anything he wanted to know. "I- I kissed you because I've been wanting to, for a long time." When his expression didn't change, Wendy started to panic. "I think, no I know, I'm in love with you, Peter Pan." The words were out before she could stop them.
Slowly, Peter walked towards her and she shivered as his hand brushed her cheek. "Wendy-bird," he whispered in her ear, and she held her breath, her love for him the only thing keeping her from falling.
"Peter…" Was this real? Could he really love her back? All Wendy knew right now was the warmth of his skin, the curve of his lips, the green of his eyes. Her senses were full of him, overpowering her until she felt like she was going to drown in the embrace of Peter.
When he suddenly grabbed the back of her neck, Wendy yelped in surprise and pain. His fingers were digging into her skin, pulling her head back to look up at him. Tears swam in her eyes and Wendy bit her lip to stop from crying out. Peter chuckled, a cruel smirk on his face, "Did you really think it was going to be that easy, Darling?"
Her heart sank. Of course it wasn't real. It was just another game, a joke, except this time it was on her. It had been from the start. Wendy couldn't bring herself to speak.
"All this time," he continued, his other hand now resting on her hip, squeezing painfully. She hated herself for the thrill his touch still brought to her. "I've seen the way you looked at me and it just wouldn't do… how was I supposed to stay young when you threatened to suffocate me in your desires, bird?" The nickname no longer sounded affectionate: it was full of malice and scorn.
"I didn't know… I didn't mean to-" Wendy tried to get out of his grip but he held on tighter. She was truly a bird now, trapped in the cage of his arms.
"Oh, but you did. What was your plan, hmm? Take me back to London with you? Turn me into the Husband you always prattle on about? Wendy, Wendy…" It hurt. The way he shook his head mockingly at her, tossing around all her dreams like they were nothing. She was shocked that she hadn't seen this side of him before. Maybe he'd always been like this and she'd been too in love to really see it. "Did you really think I'd leave my immortality, Neverland, everything… for you?"
A part of her had. Wendy didn't say a word, dropping his gaze to look at the ground. The tears were falling down her cheeks now. Peter laughed, and she jolted when his warm fingers curled around her chin, lifting her head. He leaned close and she sucked in a breath when he pressed a kiss to her wet cheek. Wendy felt him smirking against her skin and every inch of her being wanted to hurt him, hurt him the way he was hurting her right now.
"I hate you." She whispered and he drew back, grinning down at her.
"And yet only minutes ago you were proclaiming your undying love for me. Really, bird, you need to make up your mind." The smirk vanished, replaced by a cold glare. "Now, you can go right back to London, along with your kiss," he spat the word and she flinched, "and never try to claim me again. No one can change me. Not even you."
And then he let go of her and all Wendy saw was black as the Shadow came to collect her. The next morning, she woke up in her bed, knowing she'd created a monster, a villain.
And the worst part was that she still loved him.
...
Wendy Darling never thought she'd return to Neverland after that. But fate was a cruel thing and once Bae was taken away from her, she knew it was only a matter of time before he came for her too. This was all part of his games, but they'd gotten a whole lot more dangerous than the friendly larks Peter and Wendy had shared all those years ago.
She didn't even scream as the Shadow snatched her from the windowsill, her heart set on finding Bae and bringing them both home. Her heart was beating harder as she saw Neverland, memories that she'd long ago buried now rushed to the surface. Wendy remembered the singing of the trees, the cool waves of the water and more importantly, the green of his eyes.
Biting her lip, Wendy landed on the shore and before she knew it, the Lost Ones were surrounding her, weapons drawn and ready to gut her like a fish. She didn't doubt their aim for a second. The thirst to kill was gleaming in their dark eyes and Wendy's hands shook with fear.
Felix stepped forward and the sight of his face made her breath catch. Before being banished from Neverland, she remembered him as the serious boy who rarely cracked a smile but when he did, it made you want to smile too. Now his gaunt face was set in a scowl and a long red scar ran from his eye to his cheekbone. She remembered his fingers digging into her neck and shuddered.
"Well, well, well," Felix announced, "If isn't the Lady Darling back from London. How was your trip?"
Wendy glared, folding her arms, "Why was I brought here?" They both already knew the answer. Wendy's scowl deepened and Felix smirked.
"He wanted his pet bird to sing for him again." Felix crooned, slowly walking towards her, a thick club in his hand, "And he thinks it's about time she's returned to her cage."
"My- my cage?" Wendy backed away, her blood freezing over at his words. What was going to happen to her? Was this punishment for what had happened all those years ago? "No, I'm going home - along with Bae."
"You're already home, Wendy Darling." Felix grinned and she saw him swing his club a second too late. It hit her with a painful whack and she blinked against stars before everything went black.
"Wake up, my darling…"
A soft hand brushed her cheek, and Wendy leaned into it instinctively, seeking out the warmth. Then, she opened her eyes and was met with the most horrifically beautiful thing she'd ever seen.
Peter Pan smiled down at her, his green eyes bright as they gazed at her, "Wendy-bird…" he whispered the nickname and she froze as he buried his face in her neck, nuzzling close. What was happening…? "You're back where you belong, finally."
"Excuse me?!" Wendy shoved him off incredulously, her back meeting a tree as she crawled away. He watched her, and Wendy noticed the start of a smirk on his face. "I don't belong in Neverland. If I do recall, you never wanted me to come here again."
Peter pursed his lips, and her heart ached at the sight of him, "Perhaps I was being rash."
Rash? Rash?! He'd broken her heart, laughed in her face and then banished her! She must've looked as angry as she felt because he laughed, "No need to worry about all that, Wendy-bird. What matters now is that you're here. With me."
"With you…? I thought-" she faltered off when his hand reached out and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. It was such a tender, loving gesture, Wendy thought, something he'd lashed out at her for before. What had changed?
"The last time we were together, things were… complicated." Peter mused, "But I've had time to think about it and I've realised the perfect solution. You see, my darling, I need belief and love to keep me strong and what better way to ensure that than to have you here by my side, a person that loves me? Who else could believe in me more than you?" Wendy stilled at his words, for once ignoring his light, gentle touch as he cupped her cheek.
"You need me." She stated, staring blankly into his eyes. Peter smiled, leaning close and pressing his lips to her ear.
"More than anything." Her heart would've melted if this had been before, back when Wendy had been foolish and naive. She hadn't known what Peter's dark side could be like and now she did. Now she knew his games, what lengths he would go to, to ensure that he would win.
"Well, that's a shame." Wendy got her to feet, abruptly, schooling her features into annoyance, "Because I sure as hell don't need you."
Peter stood up, his eyes narrowing, "Bird, what are you doing?" There was an edge of dark warning in his voice but Wendy brushed it off, not breaking their shared gaze.
"Getting out of here." She gritted her teeth, "I can't believe you'd drag me back here just to take advantage of my feelings and use them for whatever plan you've got going! It's not going to work, Peter-"
He was suddenly behind her, and she sucked in a breath as she felt a knife press against her throat, "Don't call me that." He snarled, and Wendy didn't dare move in case the dagger nicked her. "Everyone calls me Pan now."
"'Pan'? You changed your name?" She asked quietly.
"If you don't like it, feel free to use my old one." He chuckled, "But I might just slit this pretty little throat of yours if you do." Wendy didn't bother retorting; she knew he would do it in a heartbeat.
"So, Pan," she felt his presence disappear behind her as well as the knife before he was in front of her once more. Great. He's been learning magic tricks while she's been away. "What are you going to do now?"
"Well…" Pan cocked his head to the side, assessing her, "I can't have my little bird roaming free, can I? Maybe I should clip her wings so she can't run away from me again." His eyes took on a predatory glint and Wendy gulped, feeling like a deer, about to stumble headfirst into a trap.
"Please, Pete- Pan," she amended quickly, and he grinned. "I just want to find Bae and go home. Please."
Pan chuckled, shaking his head and her heart sank. "Wendy, you astound me sometimes. You can't just bat those eyes of yours and expect me to fall at your feet. Oh, no…" His eyes flashed, "That's your job now, darling. I own you."
He snapped his fingers and she closed her eyes against a blinding green light before landing somewhere else. Wendy blinked, confused, as she noticed her surroundings. Wait, where those bars…? She almost laughed harshly at the irony. Wendy Darling was in an actual cage, woven by the trees of Neverland, a prisoner to the island. And more importantly, to him.
He wanted his pet bird to sing for him again. Felix had said. She sighed, resting her head against the bars. Wendy hummed under her breath and by the stillness of the trees around her, she knew he was listening.
Maybe, one day, they could go back to how they used to be - just two kids that didn't want to grow up. Before magic and kisses got in the way of everything.
"I'm sorry, Peter." Wendy whispered, finding that she was unafraid if he came to slit her throat by calling him that name. He didn't. "I'm sorry for making us both grow up too soon. I'm sorry for playing a game we both weren't ready for." She didn't realise she was crying until Wendy felt the tears slide down her face, "I'm sorry that I love you."
And then she closed her eyes, falling asleep against the exhaustion of it all. A voice whispered to her, in the state between dreams and reality, a voice that said, "None of those things matter, Wendy. They're not important anymore." A voice that kissed her softly, one last time, before disappearing completely.
A voice that probably wasn't even real.
So this was just a little something I wrote a while ago when I found myself wondering what would've happened if Wendy and Pan shared something special in the Once Upon a Time universe. R and R if you enjoyed :)