She couldn't think straight...
Every time she tries to do something, it always ends up wrong and every time she tries to take herself noticed, people would ignore her. Then, when she tried to be ignored, people would take notice of her, and it really frustrates her to no end. She wants something; she never gets almost all the time. She looses an item when she needs it the most and when she doesn't need it, it's there. If males her age doesn't love, it's always because they find someone prettier than her. If they do, it's always with an exchange or payment. People don't seem to know her, if they DO remember her, they would forget about her name ("Oh, THAT girl! Who's she again?") And, what's worse, when she wished for a sunny day, it always rains.
And, yet, she's alive. Why is she alive, you say? She doesn't know really the answer, but she's alive. With all these misfortunes and the satirical probe in her pitiful state she called life, she's alive.
Sadly, she'll live her life because she IS alive.
God.
Instead, she only laughs at the tiny mess-up, a hollow laugh straight up to those who control her fate and tell them to screw themselves in the face. Maybe that's the sole reason why her life's a complete mess lately. Yes, apparently, her life is a mess and it doesn't seem to want it to go away.
It was once upon a snowy day when she met the most eccentric man she could lay her eyes on, and then forgets about him afterwards since she doesn't know who he is. To him, she is nothing like those common humans he see around the streets, adjusting his hood and stalk on though she followed the cloaked figure with her bespectacled eyes, holding the snow shovel and wondering what his problem is. For a brief moment, the hooded person turned his head to her direction and she to his, wondering if both of them are looking at each other before she resumed plowing the snow with a shovel (not before another bucketful of snow fell down from the branch of a tree onto her head).
Well, she couldn't help if lady luck decided to play her a bit again.
Her life's a freaking mess.
And, yet, she's alive. She only wished for something small, but the rest she ask the controllers of her life to screw themselves in the face. Ok, so she's a bit of a negative vibe lately, but she did try to keep her stiff, upper lip. At least she's alive.
"Shiezka, get back to work."
"Yes, uncle."
And, with that, concludes the meeting with mister black-hooded-mystery-person and went back to her normal, albeit crap-around-the-corner, life of hers.
Little misfortunes went on; she couldn't get her experiment right. She couldn't seem to win any contest (or, if she did, she only ends up in second place). Her friends would misread her when she's angry and would run away. If they need something from her, they will come and she barely had real friends (it can be counted through her fingers). It's not saying that she's having a bad day, but it's more of her life gets a bit messed up and she couldn't seem to know what else to do about it except just face it head-on.
"Isn't life kind of suck like that?"
For some reason, the brunette, Shiezka, managed to meet once more with mister black-hooded-mystery-person, who noticed the female sitting in a bench while feeding the pigeons. Normally, he would ignore this little shindig of hers and just get on his way, but when she looked up and noticed him, as well as mutter out loud something about how life sucks in a manner than is like teasing Cerberus with a catnip, it piqued his interest and decided to 'entertain' this unusual specimen. Besides, he doesn't have anything to do, and most probably she won't do anything other than rant about her life.
"Heh," The female in bespectacled chuckled, leaning in front as the hooded figure stood a good distance from her. "Didn't expect someone to actually come and listen." She spoke with a small sigh. "Typical; is my life really that messed up that I have some hooded person from god-knows-where for a company?"
"Hmp~! You should be honored to have me stay and listen to your little rambling, woman!"
It took Shiezka, the girl, surprised, but she only shook her head and chuckled a bit, ending her with a cold stare (or what she could make of it) from the hooded figure.
"Should I?" She spoke though only a sigh escaped her lips. "Yeah, maybe I should. It's not everyday I get someone to listen to me without leaving or telling me I talk too much." She waited a few seconds before seeing if the person left but when she looked and saw that it's still there, it made her a bit happy. "Really, I got a messed-up life; I don't know where to start." She looked up once more and saw that the person disappeared before she stood up from her place, placing her hands to her pants pocket before adding with a small smile.
"Yep, messed up."
Her grades, despite being having an above-average IQ, are mediocre. She is always left out with her other friends because they think her interest is different from theirs. She regretted ever giving her money to her classmate who asked her some so he could pay some food he won't even finish in the first place, because now she's so hungry she couldn't focus. She tripped down the stairs because she forgot to tie her shoelace.
And, again, she met with this hooded person who managed to found her. Again, the meeting is accidental, but Shiezka started to think that maybe fate is screwing her again. Nevertheless, she kept up with her front, knowing that maybe a sun would shine soon.
"Are you stalking me?"
She was amused to see the huffed expression of the hooded figure but she only dismissed it. Again, she was glad that this person managed to come despite knowing that it's nothing more than instantaneous.
"You ramble too much, woman." The voice felt a bit cold, chilly even, but Shiezka rather take it anyway than nothing. "You should be lucky I'm not bothering to experiment on you." It was her turn to raise an eyebrow, eying at the hooded figure before she chuckled. "I do not kid on the subject at matter! Apparently, that little action of yours made me wonder if you can be a good test subject."
"Thanks, but pass."
It would be a good laugh, thought the female, but decided to just get it over with.
"Maybe this is a bit too much," Shiezka spoke once more, knowing that this person would stay for a bit to hear some snippets of her rambling before leaving her hanging. "Not a long ago, I asked a friend of mine if I could borrow some money so I could eat because someone borrowed some money from me so he could eat but then didn't finished his food anyway." A small, sarcastic chuckle escaped her lips. "Also, I only got mediocre grades because I don't want people to think I'm too smart and start teasing me about being a smarty-pants and a stuck-up teacher's pet. And then, I tripped on the stairs because I fell asleep a while back while tying my shoelace." She doesn't really get why she's saying these, but she really do. "You're a smart fella, from what I gather, do you think it's all just some common nonsense rambling of a girl?"
Silence.
"Thought so."
For that, it was her turn to leave the cloaked being without saying anything, murmuring once more the same phrase she last said as soon as the being left.
"My life's a mess."
She was bored, she couldn't think of something to do. They won't pick up the phone when she called. Already, she's starting to wonder if she's totally just a plaything for the people up above. Her life's a typical, suburban one; she lives a normal- if not messed up- life, living in a normal, suburban town in a normal world, wondering if there's something else out there besides the normalcy of this situation.
And, yet, she's still alive and standing. For some reason, she kept on fighting the urge to give up and screw everything.
He finally revealed himself, claiming to be called as the Chilly Academic and proclaiming that she somehow caught his interest. Vexen. Organization XIII. It was so surreal; she could have sworn her life's a freaking mess to begin with. And, yet, he's here, lowering his hood to reveal his face to her, deciding to actually hunt her down because he got nothing else to do and that her day-to-day ramblings seems quite so ordinary, it's superficial.
"Vexen..."
She only chuckled. Guess there's some people who have worse life than hers.
"I don't know," This time, the blonde-haired Nobody decided to listen to her as part of his 'experiment' about human reaction with luck, if it was true that thinking positive would make things better. "I tried living, but I don't know if it's worth it." In order to conduct this experiment, Vexen needs to find a suitable specimen and who would do better than that unusual woman whom he keeps meeting out of the blue, then suddenly blubbering about how her life is a mess. She is a perfect subject for the experiment and for it to work, he needs to listen to her and know her own thoughts. Granted, he doesn't have a heart so it's easy for him not to feel sympathy or any earthly attachment towards the female, but he couldn't help but somewhat understand her predicament. Looks like the two seem to have something in common, after all.
Still, this is just an experiment; he would never dare attach himself to someone as lowly as the bespectacled brunette in front of her. However, for some reason, it surprised him that he understands how she feel or that how similar they are in a sense that he knows what it feels like in her shoes. Experiment as may be; that seem to make him stop and think.
"It's funny, though," she spoke with a sigh. "Don't you feel a bit frustrated that things don't go the way you want? Or that things never seem to work out no matter how hard you try making things right? Don't you think it's a bit unfair that people get what they want and, yet, you don't seem to get yours? Or that you only come out as second place? Don't you feel like your life is so much of a bother that you don't want to continue it anymore, to just give up and just screw everything away? You know, being apathetic about it and forget you even have a life."
With each statement of hers, Vexen didn't hesitate to think that he understood what she meant by that. Being mistreated, being ridiculed, being mocked... it all seems befitting.
"You have no idea," Vexen murmured, though trying to keep his cold facade as to not throw the female off.
"But you know what?"
He looked to her direction as she raised her hand as if she's trying to reach heaven or something.
"I'll keep on fighting." A small smile spread on her lips. "Sure, life is a bit of a bitch, and they tend to pelt you with something. Sure, you fall down after that hit, but we have to stand up somehow." For once, he agrees on the subject of matter. "Ok, so you got dumped many times because you're not pretty enough, or that people think you're weird and tend to forget your name in an everyday basis, or that someone forgot to pay you back even though you reminded them many times, but I'll still keep fighting."
It made Vexen thinking; he always stay in his laboratory, doing experiments that keeps on failing every time, he's the lowest rank in the Organization XIII and that he's being mocked for being a 'mad scientist' and, yet, he kept his pride up because he's a scientist and knew better than to shove it off. On the other hand, her life is normal compared to his and, yet, the predicament is still the same. It just goes to show that everyone seems to face the same trials and tribulations and, yet, it all depends on an individual on how to face it.
Humans, DO, have an interesting mindset, despite owning a heart. A quite befitting experiment, indeed.
"So," It was Vexen's turn to speak as he faced the bespectacled brunette, the cogs on his brain thinking. "You're saying that you still keep on doing these things even though you've been pelted with such atrocious conditions?" She nodded plainly as he shook his head. "You're quite a mad one, madder than me if I do say so myself."
"Well, we're pretty much adamant on things," Shiezka replied, not aware of the real nature of her companion. "That's what we're supposed to do, right? I don't know about smart people or anything, but I'll still keep on walking on. Why you ask? Simple; it's my goddamn life." A small smile spread onto her face (Vexen still couldn't tell why in the world the female would smile at the time like this) as she added. "I'm alive, basically. So if I'm alive, that means there's still a chance and I'll keep on living. I'll just take a goddamn rest when I'm dead; otherwise, when I'm alive, I'll move forward."
He didn't need to hear more; it was their final meeting and his experiment halfway complete. Nevertheless, they gave their last farewell, him 'wishing' her luck (more like giving her a fair warning in payment for 'aiding' him in his experiment) and were never seen again. Shiezka wouldn't mind, it's normal for her to see someone leave. However, she was somewhat glad she shared something to someone, realizing to herself that maybe she should actually thank him for making her think once more as of why she's still fighting.
Of course, because she's still alive. It doesn't need to have someone with a heart to think that.
As for Vexen?
Well... sure, he died and all by the hands of Axel, but he did realize that being alive is something worthwhile after all. Maybe in the next life, he could see her once again and thank her for that little insight that maybe he's not the only one having a terrible day, that there's someone else who had it worse no matter how small or trivial it is and, yet, keeping an stiff, upper lip about it.
Yep, her life is sure a one, goddamn mess. Maybe his life is also a goddamn mess as well.
It's a rare instance that Vexen meets, and interacts, with someone who is ordinary and, yet, he never thought how similar he actually is to the normal melancholy and frustrations of a normal female. In the end, even though that he died a loosing battle by betrayal, he thought that it could be worse. The experiment seems successful and never would he admit it but this brief encounter with a female who fights her own battle actually did something good on him.
Well, simply put, I want to make something based on the song by Kuroshitsuji and thought how Vexen could actually need more love hence this one-shot. It's a bit of an instantaneous, like the rest of my one shot, but I have to say its fine. Hahaha, it reminded me of the rest of my brain-inducing fan fictions. God.
DISCLAIMER::
I don't own KINGDOM HEARTS, Vexen, or anything else except the fanfiction, my character and this account. Square Enix and Disney own them. The oneshot is inspired by the song I'm Alive by BECCA from the anime Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler.
Read, Review and message would make Saiyukigallie happy as a girl who just won a burger-eating contest. Comments would make Vexen get enough money for Botox… or Xenmas; either of the two.