Standard Disclaimer: These characters belong to G. Lucas. No copyright infringement is meant.
Dedication: To the beautiful people on SWSB – especially JediJade88, RedGold, The Good Twin, and Ginchy.
Rating: PG-13/T
Spoilers/Timeline: After The Corellian Trilogy but before "Vision of the Future". Set in the "Lightheaded" AU.
A/N: Do read and review. I'm not sure if this can be read with much enlightenment if you haven't read Lightheaded. You could try, I guess. I'm not planning for this to be very long. Actually, I don't plan anything at all; fics just write themselves.
Chapter 1: The Pickup
Couldn't they have delivered? What's the point of being Chief of State if you can't get things done? Han wasa little put-off by his errand.
/We could always send the golden one./ Chewy growled.
"He's off to maintenance today, upgrading his six million languages," Han mimicked Threepio's prissy voice perfectly. "And he'd have to walk the whole way back home holding the clothes. Probably get robbed of them, the useless thing."
Han frowned and sulked a little. I'm not just a glorified baby-sitter and househusband. Deciding to take a light-hearted approach, he sighed and gave a rueful grin to Chewy.
"Why don't you go get that part for your bow? I can go do all this…stuff." Han sniffed distastefully, and gestured at the errand list that Leia had drawn up on a data pad.
/Remember what I told you when you decided on your mate./ Chewy turned to regard his friend. /You would not listen to my advice./ His eyes twinkled with laughter.
"Yeah, well. She's a very persuasive lady." Han took the speeder to a different skyline, making for the mechanics district.
/My friend, from what I know, there was no need for persuasion on her part./ Chewy urf-urfed a little.
Han shifted in his seat, a lazy smile on his face. You've got me there, pal.
"Where's that shop of yours?"
/Over there./ Chewy moved and caught hold of the speeder's controls. /Come on, you're taking it very slowly./
"Hey, I've got kids now, you know."
Chewy grunted and stopped the speeder in designated landing zone.
"You want me to wait for you?"
Chewy turned to regard his young charge. /Can you wait here without getting into trouble? I would not have my debt to you violated because of a bowcaster tension-setter./
Han leaned back in his chair and placed his feet on the control panel, hand behind his head. "Relax, you big fuzzball. It's me. What could possibly go wrong?"
Chewy looked doubtful at Han's pronouncement. /I will be back as quickly as I can./ He opened the speeder door and stepped out.
"I'll be here." Han waited until Chewy entered one of the mechanic shops before sitting up again.
Leia, what on earth are the other servants and droids for, if not to do all this stuff? He picked up the datapad. Look, school supplies for the children, milk, dry-cleaning… I'm a General! I'll bet you Bel Iblis never had to do anything like this.
He turned to the holovid screen in the speeder. I'll take care of some of these things now. He keyed in his holonet access codes, and called Winter.
"General Solo. Han. What can I do for you?" Winter did not look surprised at his calling, but he caught her gaze flicker off-screen just a little before returning to the camera.
"Ah, hello Winter. I was hoping that you could help me with a couple of things I need for the children. I don't know where to get them." Playing the hapless parent figure. "Leia left me a list of things, and I don't know where to get them." He rattled off the items on Leia's list. Come on, Winter, take the bait. You love the children.
Someone passed Winter a note from off-screen. The slight frown that had formed on Winter's face when he had called disappeared, and she smiled at him. "Of course, Han. Those are simple items; I'll requisition them for you and have them delivered. Is there anything else?"
Pretending to be more relieved than he really was, he smiled and nodded his head in thanks. "No, thank you Winter. I was really at my wit's end here."
Winter's eyes were full of amusement at his statement. "Han Solo, at his wit's end? I think many would pay good money to see that."
Grinning ruefully at her, he made a face. "Don't tell anyone that the great Han Solo was felled by children's school supplies, okay?"
She gave a small laugh. "Goodbye, Han." And closed the connection.
Great. One down, two to go.
He took out his comlink and commed Chewy.
/What is it?./ Chewy growled.
"Get milk."
/Han clan Solo, while I am under a life debt to you, I am not your own personal slave. Get out of the speeder and get it yourself./ Chewy's comlink clicked off.
Han tried to contact Chewy's comlink three more times before giving up.
Stupid lump must have blocked me, he thought as he got out of the speeder. Walking to the shops, he passed by Chewy's mechanic shop and eyeballed Chewy's figure.
Some life debt.
Locating the sundries shop, he walked in and bought the milk. Four cartons, Leia. I hope that's enough for you, the kids, the lump, your Noghri pals, Luke, General Bel Iblis, Mon Mothma, Borsk Fey'lya, Thrawn, and whoever you decide to have over for dinner tonight.
Walking back out into the streets, he saw Chewy waiting for him outside the mechanic shop. He grunted when he saw Han.
/So much?./
Han gave him a dirty look, and Chewy decided not to press the matter. They got into the speeder.
/Where to now?./
A note of annoyance in his voice, Han answered, "Dry cleaning."
/Alright./
-----
"I cannot believe this! Six garments?" Han had keyed in the collection code at the fully-automated cleaning pick-up station. "Four dresses and two suits?"
/I believe one of them is yours./ Chewy said as he held up a military-styled uniform.
"I didn't even wear that!"
/Perhaps there is an event coming up./ Chewy shook the uniform impatiently. /Let us go; we have to fetch your young cubs./
"And this is Luke's! She even has me picking up after Luke!" Han suddenly stopped, and took a closer look at the hangar.
Oh my.
Chewy was looking closely at Han.
/What is it?./
Han was grinning ear-to-ear. The cleaners never made mistakes, so this had to have been with the original garment when it first arrived to be cleaned.
He gestured towards something on the hanger.
"It's nothing. Nothing much."
Chewy looked at the garment. And started urfing in laughter.
A thong. A very small thong. Han shook his head in amazement.
/I was wondering when that would happen./
"Any idea whose it is?"
/Mara Jade, of course./
"Mara?" Han was surprised at Chewy's pronouncement. "They hate each other!"
Chewy just grinned, fangs exposed to the world. /That's what they think, but that's not how they smell./
Han's eyebrows shot up at that.
"That's not how they smell?"
Chewy sniffed a little, looking disdainful. /And you call yourselves highly-developed lifeforms. Primates./
Han shook his head. "This is a little too much for me to process right now." He gathered up the garments and headed for the speeder, Chewy laughing softly all the way behind him.