I wrote this a long time ago. I didn't really want to publish it because I am bad about writing in a timely manner and I always hate it when people leave stories unfinished. Alas, I have and maybe it will motivate me to continue with it.

I don't own the characters.

Sirius huffed moodily as he stomped down the dark hallway of number 12 Grimmauld Place. He slammed his bedroom door shut just as his mother's portrait began squawking over the "unworthy filth" who had recently vacated the Noble House of Black. The Order meeting had left him fuming.

Sneers and insults were the constant in his life and throwing them right back was the best entertainment he could find. It was like a duel. Now that he thought of it, Sirius realized that he enjoyed fighting with the infuriating potions master. It made him feel alive. He didn't have to hold back. All of the stress and loneliness just flowed out of him. But this change in attitude was not acceptable; Sirius Black would not be ignored! To punctuate his point, he kicked his bedpost roughly, earning him a sore big toe. He stumbled into his worn arm chair and lapsed back into his brooding over the meeting that night.

Almost all of the members of the Order had arrived and were just waiting on the few who were late. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were chatting amicably in the kitchen with Kingsley and Dumbledore. Ginny and Hermione were out on the back patio giggling and pointing at each other as Tonks used a spell to change their hair back and forth to various shades of hot pink, lime green, and indigo. Harry and Ron stood gaping at the items piled high in the upstairs bedroom as Fred and George explained their newest joke products. They included toothpaste, chewing gum, perfume, fizzy drinks, and other everyday things.

"You see your victim,-

-upon contact with any of these seemingly innocent items,-

-will be force to say the opposite-

-of what they're really thinking!"

"Brilliant!" Harry popped a piece of chewing gum in his mouth and exclaimed, "The gum tastes disgusting, too!" Ron laughed and took a swig of the soda as Fred and George sprayed each other with perfume. Ron patted George on the shoulder as he examined the other things on the bed. "You lot are real idiots and you'll never make any money with this stuff."

"Well guess what Ronnipoo,-

-you being our favorite brother and a rather clever chap all around-

-we want to offer any of our awful products-

-to you free of charge"

Harry laughed as Ron gasped, "Really!"

As the effects of the products wore off Fred and George shared a look of amusement then turned back to their little brother with twin smirks.

"No, now-

-you owe us a galleon-

-for the soda you nicked."

Ron looked disgruntled and left the room quickly.

"Free of charge-

-for you Harry-

-of course."

Spitting out the gum Harry exclaimed, "Thanks guys! Hey, how'd you come up with this one? It's amazing!"

"O, well we just thought Sirius' mum-

-could use a change of pace."

"She almost seems pleasant now-

-except for the glare."

"It'll wear off in an hour or so-

-pity, we need to make it longer lasting."

Harry chuckled as he walked down the hall and heard Mrs. Black grumble, "Have a nice time with your lovely friends. Tell them they can stay as long as they like." It was a bit disconcerting to say the least. As he walked to the kitchen, Harry glimpsed Sirius and Remus in the sitting room having a fierce Wizard's Chess match. Sirius was failing miserably but he was still determined.

Remus let out a triumphant "Ha!" as another one of Sirius' pieces was smashed to bits, but said loser had lost all interest in the game as he saw who had come in the door.

"Nice of you to show up, Snivellus." The greasy git looked tired and Sirius wondered how far he could push him in this state. In return Snape eyed the scene warily, simply stated, "Black… Lupin," and strode to the kitchen to take his seat at the table.

Sirius stared after him, dumbfounded. Remus glanced at his frozen friend, "Well that was odd; are you coming Sirius?"

"Hmm, o yeah, let's go."

The two marauders entered the kitchen and found all of the other members seated and already deep in discussion about the state of things. Sirius attempted to forget the incident, but as Albus began to speak, he completely zoned out. He wondered what could have caused such a change. Normally Snape would jump at any opportunity to get in a fight with him.

Maybe the burden of being a double agent is getting to him. If it were me, I would've had an identity crisis and lost my mind a long time ago. What ridiculous mission has Dumbledore got him doing now?

Sirius realized he was glaring at the elder at the head of the table and quickly collected himself. What is wrong with me? Why do I care what happens to Snivellus?

...Because it's affecting my routine, that's why!

Sirius glanced at Snape and tried to catch his eye but the man avoided his gaze throughout the meeting. This one person staring contest continued for quite some time; frustrating Sirius further. Suddenly he found himself being nudged roughly in the side by Remus' elbow. "Ow, Moony what the hell?" Remus raised his eyebrows and Sirius, finally getting the point, turned to see everyone at the table staring at him. "What?"

"I was only inquiring as to whether it would be convenient for you, to have the next meeting in three weeks time. I find it is much more accommodating and productive to make plans rather that interrupt everyone's busy lives on a whim. Don't you agree Mister Black?"

"O, um yeah that would be fine, Albus."

"Wonderful!" Dumbledore twinkled at him in an all-knowing sort of way. "Now that we are done speaking of all these serious matters… no pun intended of course Sirius…" Sirius shrugged. "…I wonder Molly, if I could trouble you for a piece of your pear tart."

"O yes, Albus I saved some especially for you" At this point most of the Weasley children as well as Harry and Hermione made to leave, but Mrs. Weasley caught sight of them. "Kids, I want you all to clean up the mess you made in the front room."

"But mum, it was all Fred and George's fault!" A hard smack landed on the back of Ron's head accompanied by twin whispers of "prat."

"I don't want to hear any more about it Ronald. All of you, go."

As everyone dispersed, Sirius subtly cornered Snape as he went for the fire whiskey. He was impressed to see the potions professor gulp the entire glass down in one go, but he quickly snapped out of it. "Oi, Snivellus, I believe it's the girl you're supposed to get drunk to make you seem even remotely attractive, but I suppose if you are trying to fool yourself…"

"Out of my way Black, I don't have time for your childishness" and with that he swept out of the room, cloak billowing in a bat like look which Sirius would normally have gone after next. Within minutes Snape left headquarters after leaving word with Dumbledore.

Childishness, what a load of bollocks! He can't just all of a sudden be the bigger person. Our purpose in this world is to torment each other to no end. How could that slimy bastard do this. It's a travesty!

"Hey Padfoot, how about a rematch, maybe I'll let you think you're winning this time."

"No thanks Moony, I'm going to bed."

"But it's only ten?"

That was when Sirius decided that abusing his furniture was the best remedy for this predicament. As he sat clutching his swollen toe he realized that he had to do something to fix this. Things had to go back to the way they were… for his health's sake.

"I'm going to get that shoddy excuse for a socially acceptable human being to insult me if it's the last thing I do!"

Alright... I don't really like this but it was burning a hole in my documents folder. Who knows if I will go on.