I never thought I'd become a nightmare. I used to be have real bad dreams as a child. Dreams of death, of the red eyed monsters that haunted me, that would get me, drink me and kill me.
But one night I remember it so clearly it wasn't just me that got hurt in the dream it was my family. It's haunted me since I had it and it's never left my mind. Not one day went by I didn't think of these evil monsters.
"Mommy, Daddy. Mommy, Daddy." I yelled my tiny body shaking so scared. Sweat all around me filling up my bed and dripping off my clothes.
"What's wrong Alyce?" Mommy asked running into my room looking worried unsure what had happened to me.
"M...m...monsters. N...nightmares." I say too scared to say it out loud. She runs right over to my bed, wrapping me into her arms. I always loved when she did that. It made me safe even when I felt the most scared i ever felt.
"It's okay. Shhhhh. It's okay Aly they can't hurt you. Shhhhh it's okay it's okay." She said rocking me slightly in her arms. Kissing the top of my head as she does. "Mommy and daddy are right here to protect you." She said as she brings me tighter in her arms, still protecting me.
"Where's daddy?" I asked noticing he never came to protect me like mommy did. Not that he was the best in this area. He never managed to say the right things, not that he didn't try.
"He's checking on baby Jet making sure he's still sleeping." She adjusted me slightly so she could look at my face. It was puffy, blotchy and tear stained.
"Do you want to tell mommy what happened in your nightmare?" She asked always caring, always wanting to know so she could help me feel better.
"Red eyed monsters. Fighting. Blood. Everyone dead." I said quickly unable to comprehend the words, unable to share the story I saw in my head. To encased in fear to want to. To little to understand the whole dream.
"It's not real, it's just a bad bad dream. Your pretty little mind is playing a trick on you. You're safe. No red eyed monsters. No fighting. No blood. And no death. You are at home with mommy and daddy and baby brother Jet. You are safe and loved and protected. Nothing and no one can or will hurt you." She wiped away my heavy tears that had been falling fast down my cheeks. I was still in her protective arms my body still shaking and still in shock.
"Alybear come here" daddy said coming into the room and crouching down just in front of my bed. His arms wide open ready to catch me. I jump up out my mommy's arms and jump off the end of my bed being grabbed into his embrace. I got the biggest hug from him like I always did. His hugs were always so tight, strong and loving. All my tears fall again going down the back of his shirt, even though I knew I was making pools of water down his back he never said anything not once.
"What caused all the tears?" He said moving so I was now just on his lap facing him.
"Monsters. Sharpe teethed monsters. Evil." I sputtered out. He shakes his head playfully not taking what I was saying seriously. "They got us." I said telling him a bit more.
I remember how scared his next words made me, he didn't make me feel better right away like he should do. He always tried to make a joke out of everything even if I was serious about it. He never meant it to scare me, he never wanted to upset me but it never came naturally to him to just protect me and say the right thing.
"You are half a monster yourself Alybear." He was saying it and I was shaking in his arms. "Daddy is a vampire. To some people we are unnatural. Evil creatures of the night, I was once told." He said looking up to mommy as he said it. But he said it like it was a joke not realising I was scared. But I was scared; of him, of myself, of what he just said. I jumped back onto my bed wanting to be away from him.
"M...m...m...monster. D...D...daddy a m...m...monster." I said cowering myself under my covers.
"Aly it's okay daddy isn't a monster." Mommy said peeking her head under my covers.
"What did you say that for Adrian? It didn't help. Fix it." She said I could hear in her voice she wasn't happy with daddy.
"I thought it would help stop the nightmares if she knew." He said as though he hadn't done anything wrong. But he had.
"Well it didn't did it? It's made everything worse." Mommy said her voice was getting louder almost shouting at him.
"I'll sort it out." He said just as my brother started crying. Mommy left my bed leaving me with daddy. I cowered even more in my bed knowing I was alone with a monster.
"Alybear." Daddy said as he placed himself on the side of my bed I could feel it as he sat down next to me.
"What do aunty Rose and uncle Dimitri do?" He said using a calm quieter voice wanting to have only me hear what he was saying.
I peeked my head out of my covers but only so much to my eyes just being seen. I wasn't ready to come out yet, his voice was so calming but I was still scared. He'd said he was a monster. One of my nightmares.
"Kill red eyed monsters." I said having just started my training with Aunty Rose, learning how to be the best Dhampir I could be.
"They do. What does daddy do?" I had no idea what he wanted or what he was trying to get me to understand at this point but I answered anyway.
"Paint." I say quickly but then my brain remembered something else. "Use magic to fight bad guys?" I said using it as a question unsure if I was right or not.
"Correct my Alybear. Daddy fights with uncle Dimitri, aunty Rose and mommy to stop the bad guys and the monsters."
"And Aunty Lissa is the queen." I shouted so excitedly that I burst out my covers.
"Yes she is." He said his face had the biggest smile on it. He looked proud and amused at me. At my outburst and at my small smile I had on my face.
I sit myself down on top of the covers still unsure but happier now. "You a good vampire?" I asked him still confused about it all what to make from what he'd told me that night.
"I am. I'm not like those bad red eyed monsters in your dreams. I fight to free them or to get rid of them so they won't ever hurt you."
"Oooooooooooooh" I said exaggerating my letters as everything finally clicked into place. Understanding that he was a good guy. He gave me a big hug and tucked me back into bed. That night I was still scared but I understood more than I did before. He would never let them get me.
Only he couldn't make it a promise and I never thought I'd be where I am right now.
I never realised I could grow up and become one. I never understood that one day a red eyed monster could change me forever so I became one. I never knew, never comprehended that I would be drained of my life, and be turned into my biggest nightmare.
That's been one of the hardest fights of my life. I've been scared of them my entire life, even after being trained to be a high level Dhampir with added witch magic. Even after I fought against one while saving people I loved. I was always afraid. And now I'm afraid of myself, struggling with myself. Wanting to be how I used to be. But I know I can't be. I've been turned and I can't tell anyone so there's no way back.
My name is Alycehandra Ivashkov. I'm 21 years old. Daughter of Adrian and Sydney Ivashkov. Older sister to Jet Ivashkov. And I'm a Strigoi. I'm my worst nightmare. And now I'm yours.