Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. I do not own Harry Potter.

Note: The following, slightly silly, one-shot consists of a front page article of a wizarding newspaper (quite possibly The Daily Prophet) in an alternate universe where Albus Dumbledore was a touch over-zealous in his efforts to hide Harry Potter. Rated 'T'.

28th January, 1982

FORMER CHIEF WARLOCK AND SUPREME MUGWUMP SENT TO JOIN DARK WIZARD HE DEFEATED IN PRISON

Former Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot and Supreme Mugwump of the ICW Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore was in a dramatic scene last night stripped of all his offices, honours, and awards, when he refused to tell the Wizengamot what he had done with eighteen month old toddler Harry James Potter. Mr. Dumbledore, until recently the headmaster of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, amongst many other roles and offices, said no more than 'What I have done is for Harry's own good' when questioned over where he had hidden the Potter heir and so-called 'saviour of wizarding Britain'. He was administered veritaserum, in an effort to force him to divulge Mr. Potter's whereabouts, but all that this produced from him was babbling of German nursery rhymes, Mr. Dumbledore apparently having developed some unfortunate but ingenious means of resisting the truth-potion.

He was accordingly sent to Nurmengard, one of the most secure magical prisons in the world, to join its only other occupant, the dark wizard that he once defeated, Gellert Grindelwald. It was decided that no other prison could be certain to contain a wizard of Mr. Dumbledore's knowledge and skill.

It has been discovered by researchers of the Department of Mysteries that, however he has hidden the young Mr. Potter, there is one loophole in Mr. Dumbledore's enchantments which will allow official communications from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to locate him, from the late spring of nineteen-ninety one onwards. This date is almost a decade away though, and it can only be hoped that Mr. Potter does not meet with some fatal accident in the interim, before he can be rescued and returned to rejoin his own kind.

Lucius Malfoy, of Wiltshire – recently cleared of charges of committing acts of terror and rebellion against the Ministry, upon disclosure of the truth that he had in fact been acting all along under the Imperius Curse – said that this was 'A sad day for all witches and wizards'. Lucius Malfoy's wife, Narcissa, a daughter of the Black family, and one of Mr. Potter's closest surviving relatives in the magical world, had hoped that the Malfoys might be allowed to adopt Mr. Potter following the declaration of Lucius' innocence.

Mr. Dumbledore's crimes first came to light, when the deputy headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Professor Minerva McGonagall, discovered in early November that she had several large holes in her memory of recent events, and contacted the auror office. It is suspected that she may have discovered what her former leader had done with Mr. Potter, and that the information was wiped from her mind. Unfortunately, the memories have proven impossible to retrieve, and Professor McGonagall, badly shaken by the events which developed subsequent to her contact with the auror office, has taken what this reporter understands to be a temporary leave from her job at Hogwarts. She has stated that she hopes to return, in the summer, if she feels up to it.

Once the aurors were alerted by Professor McGonagall to the fact that she had been apparently attacked by an unknown assailant, the investigation swiftly moved to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry where lead-investigator, Alastor Moody, made vital discoveries in the school infirmary – principally that several medical documents pertaining to checks which had been carried out in the early hours of this year's first of November had been destroyed, and that the school's nurse, Madam Poppy Pomfrey, had been placed under some kind of unbreakable vow which compelled her to remain silent on events which had transpired then, until and unless particular conditions still unknown to the investigators were met. From there, pursuing his hunches, Alastor Moody's investigations took him to the headmaster's office, and after consulting with British Minister for Magic, Millicent Bagnold, brought Mr. Dumbledore in for questioning under caution. From there, events moved quickly, in paths with which most of our readers will by now be familiar.

For a full timeline of events turn to page 2.

For a picture and article about the late Lily Potter (née Evans), the mother of Harry Potter, turn to page 3.

For pictures and articles about the late James Potter, the father of Harry Potter, turn to pages 4-5, 7, 18-19, and see the back page for details of his career at Hogwarts as a quidditch player.

For articles about the career to date of Mr. Dumbledore, see page 9. For comment and analysis of his character and possible motivations, by the renowned historian Bathilda Bagshot, see pages 10-11.

For the editor's comment, see page 12.

Author Notes:

In this universe Albus Dumbledore considered it necessary to wipe Professor McGonagall's memory of his having hidden Harry at Privet Drive; ultimately that is what he has ended up in Nurmengard for in this universe. The Wizengamot might like to convict him for taking Harry and placing him wherever, but without their knowing exactly where Harry has been placed, they're not sure to what extent that that is a crime.

It seems a touch fanciful to me, from what I understand of his power and influence, that canon Albus Dumbledore could be consigned to Nurmengard in 1982 if he had engaged in any such illegal memory modification of his deputy; as noted in the opening notes, this is a somewhat frivolous alternate universe piece, though.

Note that when it comes to back-story about Harry's parents, Lily (being a muggle-born witch) only gets one page about her. James (wealthy pure-blood) gets multiple pages. The newspapers have presumably overdosed on speculation about Harry during the preceding couple of months, and so the paper of January 28th is going for an angle of the parents whom Albus may have betrayed (obviously it's not known exactly where Harry is) by hiding their son.