Title: Sans Pants
Author: spacegypsy1
Pairings: Daniel and Vala semi-established. (the brief mention of Cam and Sam is not intended as a 'pairing' though make of it as you wish.)
Spoilers/Timeline: No spoilers. Set after Continuum.
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SUMMARY: A little Daniel and Vala conversation concerning Mitchell's pants and a bottle of To Kill Ya. Yet another plotless piece of D/V fluff.
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Vala cocked her head to the side and bit her bottom lip as she pulled the bottle from the wrapping paper. "What's this one?"
"Patron. Silver. And you aren't supposed to open presents until your party." He'd barely raised his eyes up to see what Vala had in her hand.
"Hmph! Oh. Well. It's open now. Have I had it before?"
"It's tequila." First his eyes lifted again, then curious, he sat up straight. "Why would Mitchell give you a bottle of Patron? It's not cheap and he is."
"He likes to give me alcohol in his never ending quest to see me get drunk. But he knows I don't like tie...tea...tah..."
"Tah-Key-Lah."
"Right. He did mention something similar he was going to give me for my birthday."
"Which is?"
"Tomorrow." She said with a huff of indignation that he actually had to ask.
"No, not your birthday, what did he mention that is similar?"
"Something he said he'd give me "to kill ya". But I thought he was joking because he was mad at me for the pants incident."
"Huh?"
"Pants. I took his pants, remember... oh, you were off-world with SG something or the other... I think it was 12 or maybe 21..."
"Okay, wait a minute. 'To kill ya' is a colloquial way of saying tequila. And how'd you...get his pants?"
"I took them off of him." Vala inspected the Patron bottle in depth. "So, this Patron? It's supposed to kill me?"
"How?" Though it was spoken softly and Daniel tried to keep his voice curious without judgment a mild note of irritation crept into that one little word.
She looked up from her close inspection of the Patron, taking a second or two to let her eyes adjust from near cross-eyed to wide eyed innocence. "Hmm? How will it kill me? Well, darling I suppose this one's poison."
"No. How'd you take his pants off?"
"The regular way Daniel! Just like I take yours off." She looked over at him following his rather rattled grunt. Vala burst out laughing at the look of shock on his face. "Silly. I mean, unbuckle the belt, unbutton the pants, shimmy down the legs, oops forgot the boots. Stop and unlace and remove the boots and then get the pants all the way off leaving the victim in boxer briefs and socks. It was adorably funny."
Silence grew heavy and the stunned look on Daniel's face appeared as if it might be permanent so Vala explained. "Then I took a picture. The pants and picture were sent to Sam with the most recent supplies beamed her way."
The archeologist's lovely blue eyes went cold, lids slunk downward to narrow slits. His jaw tightened and his kissable mouth went hard and, well, un-kissable. Then as if someone thumped her upside the head Vala realized what he was thinking! "Not THAT way, darling! Really! Daniel! How could you even think such a thing! I suppose because I left out the part where Mitchell passed out from shots of something called Cabo Wabo Blanco! He's such a lightweight. We were only in our second bottle or third, I don't remember. But, anyway, I knew it was the perfect opportunity to get a fun team-punk picture and the pants as evidence for Sam. See. All so innocent."
Disconcerted by his stony look, Vala plopped down on his lap with a huff.
Daniel's hands grasped her hips and he lifted her back to a standing position. "Don't do that here! Why do I have to ask you that every single day?"
Vala shrugged. "Because I've always sat on your lap!"
He stood, grumbling out, "That was before!"
"Before what?" Two steps forward brought her within inches of him.
"Before...you know?"
"Nope," Vala lifted a brow. "I don't know."
When she moved in further, leaning so her perfume wafted up, sweet and enticing, Daniel swallowed loudly. "Er. Us."
Voice like a purr, she asked, her mouth just a whisper from his. "Sex, Daniel? Before we started having sex?"
"Mmm, well not just sex but actually making love too. And I don't want you taking Mitchell's pants off. I mean, I'd rather you didn't."
She started to protest, but stopped when he quickly nipped her bottom lip and then kissed it.
"Vala. I need you to walk away. Now. Take the Patron. Go to my place, get dressed for the party. I'll be there soon, 'kay?"
Taking a large, deep, deep breath, a breath that lifted her breasts on the inhale and settled them against his chest on the exhale, Vala grinned wide. "Right. But I think it's unfair, seeing as I was doing it for Sam. She's the one that likes him better without pants, not me."
Opening his mouth to refute Vala's misunderstanding of Sam and Cam and the pants, Daniel instead took a deep breath and a step back. "Okay. Sorry."
"I think we're going to be late for my party." Pouting, Vala ran a fingernail down his shirt front.
"Why?"
"Because, darling, I have to take your pants off for make-up sex."
"We weren't fighting."
"That's your interpretation. Not mine."
"But the party's at my place."
"Oh, well."
~END