The crowd goes insane as I walk in, my wide eyes staring at the hysterical faces in front of me. I feel my round, puffy cheeks blush, and the palm of my hands getting hot and sweat against the cold metal of my mike. For a moment, it reminds me of his cold body, stretched in the black coffin. My eyes start to fill with tears, and I shake my head a little. "It's okay, I can, do this. For us. Okay."
A palepink light suddenly comes from a spotlight and gets lost in my messy, short hair while the host, a blond-haired man in a dark blue suit, starts to introduce me to the audience. As soon as he has finished, I look over my shoulder and nod to the sound engineer. A low, sweet melody fills the concert hall, and I take a deep breath through my cannula. My hands shake a bit when I approach the mike to my mouth, and I start to sing, my voice getting louder and louder as the music intensifies.
All I want is nothing more
To hear you knocking at my door
'Cause if I could see your face once more
I could die as a happy woman I'm sure
When you said your last goodbye
I died a little bit inside
I lay in tears in bed all night
Alone without you by my side
I close my eyes, my body slowly to the rythm of the music. My breath is irregular, and I start to feel a rush of pain in my lungs that suck at being lungs, but i continue to sing, though.
But if you loved me
Why d'you leave me?
Take my body
Take my body...
All I want is
All I need is
To find somebody
I'll find somebody like you
A salted tear runs down my left cheek, and then another. « Pain demands to be felt », as he would say, if he were still alive. I open my eyes, scanning the silent crowd. I barely notice my parents, their wet faces smiling at my performance.
'Cause you brought out the best of me
A part of me I'd never seen
You took my soul, wiped it clean
Our love was made for movie screens
But if you loved me
Why d'you leave me?
Take my body
Take my body...
All I want is
All I need is
To find somebody
I'll find somebody like you
I suddenly stop to scan the crowd when I met his light-blue eyes, bright like the sky and deep like an ocean. A smile forms on my lips. He has always been with me. He never really leave me. He is a part of me. I just stare at him until the end of the music.
But if you loved me
Please, stay with me
Take my body
Take my body...
All I want is
All I need is
To find somebody
Find somebody like you...
He smiles at me; mouthing three little words that make me feel better: « Okay, Hazel Grace? » The music ends as he dissapears, and everybody just waits for me to say something like « thank you » or anything like this, but I just say:
« Okay. »