Episode 1: "The Rush Hour Deadlock!"

On May 4th 2015, when the Internet was flooded by Star Wars jokes, an unusual band of heroes was formed; a legal aide with a burger obsession, a secret agent known as 7 but not 007, a hope psychopath with a fetish for bagels, and a high school stereotypical nerd that no-one likes… All led by a man who time travels in the most confusing way possible, and has a Greek symbol for a name, together they became known as…The Horny Rangers! Bringing Justice HOOOOPE! (~Changed by Komaeda) to everyone around the world.. God help us all….

After 40 minutes of waiting in McBurgers, The Horny Rangers finally sat down for Lunch, even from a distance, the pile of burgers and bagels were towering over everyone, however the piles were slowly being demolished by the short goober and the grinning Komaeda.

It was then that Sigma chose to ask the all-important question… "Erm… Komaeda, Maya, how did you manage to buy entire stacks of bagels and burgers? Because last time I checked, we were broke after Komaeda tore up that maid cafe."

The little goober smiled, and with her mouth, half filled with glorious meat, she responded, "Oh don't worry about it, Nick just finished a case, so I just 'borrowed' his credit card for a bit."

It was at that moment that Sigma thought he heard someone in the distance yelling at the top of his voice "MAYA!" Leading to Maya once again smile at her handiwork, before quickly trying to eat as many burgers as physically possible.

Twenty minutes later…..

"So many hope bagels, I think that got rid of the despair buried inside of me" said Komaeda before he groaned.

"There were too many burgers, I feel like I'm going to be sick" said Maya stumbling out of the restaurant.

"If you guys were so full, why did you order another stack of burgers and bagels?! With extra chips?!" asked the confused Sigma.

"One does not question the Hope bagels Sigma, you should know better as a Horny Ranger." Said Komaeda, giving Sigma a stare that could only be described as murderous.

"Hey, where's Seven and Morishige? They were suppose to meet us here, 30 minutes ago." Said Maya, looking around for any sign of them. "I hope nothing bad happened."

Sigma looked around and noticed that the traffic had built up massively, with drivers getting increasingly frustrated by the second, "Looks like the traffic is in gridlock, Seven and Morishige are probably stuck in the middle of it."

"Well looks like it's time I used my bullshit luck powers to find them, unless you guys want to go and grab a PF Chang's or something? PF Chang's always helps the hope bagels go down better." said Komaeda. Sigma stared at Komaeda, telling him almost like telepathy, to just get on with it.

"Okay, BULLSHIT POWERS GO!" Komaeda shouted, as he transformed into his Horny Ranger suit… and attracted the attention of half the street along with him, leading to Sigma and Maya to slowly start distancing themselves from Komaeda.

"Okay, my powers tell me that they're down that street, the one heading towards Shibuya." Said Komaeda, with pride in his voice. "Are you sure that's the right way?" asked Sigma, but as Komaeda was preparing his snarky remark, fate answered it for him… in the form of Morishige being thrown down the street, screaming "AIIIYYYYAAAA!" as he flew through the air.

"Well would you look at that, Morishige graduated from running Morishige, to somewhat flying Morishige." Maya said as Morishige flew through the air,before crashing into a nearby truck. "Hey do you think he's okay?" Sigma asked, "I mean the guy did just get thrown a couple of hundred meters.", It was at that moment Sigma heard Morishige laughing from the wreckage of the truck.

"Ha Ha! A simple throw cannot stop the running Morishige! However he may need some help in removing the truck currently crushing his torso!" He shouted, before starting to wheeze under the weight.

After pulling Morishige out of the wreckage, miraculous without any severe injuries, (probably due to Komaeda's Bullshit powers) our band of heroes, run down the street to regroup with Seven.

"So much running… need fatty burger goodness…" Maya said, trying to catch her breath after running non stop for several minutes, and was soon followed by the rest of the gang, except Running Morishige who charged ahead, destroying several cars in the process.

" Ha Ha! It looks like all you're little friends have finally arrived for the party" exclaimed a mechanical and clunky voice. The voice belonged to a tall and boastful looking man, the man was dressed in a costume resembling a traffic cone, and was carry a traffic light within his mechanized right hand, The Horny Rangers knew instantly that it could only be Transitmancer. "But you're already too late Horny Rangers, my vengeance is close at hand!"

"Err… does anyone want to explain what this guy is on about?" said Komaeda, trying to find a balance, between not emptying his insides all over the pavement and trying to understand the ensuring chaos.

Transitmancer almost seem to jump for joy at those words, "Why yes I'd be glad to share my ingenious plan with you, you see it all started…" But before Transitmancer could start on his plan's back story, Seven appeared out of a nearby ruined building, shouting "Listen this fan fiction, is already reaching a thousand words, this needs to wrap up soon, so shut up and give us the short version!"

"Fine, okay… jeez, you see it all started when I ordered this pizza from this place downtown, they promised me it would be delivered in 45 minutes or less, otherwise I'd get a refund. 50 minutes when by, before pizza guy turned up, and he asked me for $15! $15! When he turned up over 45 minutes late! So, I decided I'd run them out of business by creating a city-wide deadlock, meaning that all the deliveries will be over 45 minutes, making them bankrupt, It's ingenious!"

"So, instead of you trying to steal the lab data again, you're doing all of this over some late pizza delivery guy, not giving you a refund?" Asked Seven, "Man that's stupid, I was expecting some cool traumatic back story."

"Well I'm sorry to disappoint you, how about I make it up by turning you into roadkill?!" said Transitmancer, and at that moment all the nearby cars began to morph around Transitmancer, slowly beginning to form a massive mech, similar in shape to the Horny Ranger's Megatron.

"Well this escalated quickly, just like some of the Yaoi manga I read" Maya said, while staring up at the sky, daydreaming about Yaoi. "Come on quickly, we need to call on Megatron, before Transitmancer destroys Downtown!" Said Sigma, look at Morishige before giving him a firm nod. Morishige responded by taking in a deep breath before bellowing out the words "OH NO! MEGATRON!"

The Horny Rangers were soon suited up and read to fight Transitmancer's monstrosity, as he towered over the streets of Downtown, clearly heading for one destination…

"He's in range everyone get ready for a fight, we need to take down Transitmancer, before he finds the Pizzaria! Its weird though he's been walking around the same place for the last 10 minutes…" Said Sigma

Meanwhile in Transitmancer's mech…

"No Google Maps! I don't want to go to Unicorn Drive! I'm trying to find Green Avenue 21! In hindsight I really should've looked up the place before I did this whole evil vengeance plan… and I'm talking to myself… man I really need to get out more…"

Crack! A loud metallic snapping noise yearned through the mech, It wasn't long until Transitmancer realized that his mech was under attack as yellow beams of light flew by snapping off cars. One by one… and just as Transitmancer began preparations for a counter attack, the whole mech jolted and cars began spewing out of his mech's torso, followed by its arms and legs.

"Have I ever said how much I love Megatron's sword? Because It's one bad-ass sword." Said Seven, clearly pumped up, ready to dish out some revenge on Transitmancer.

"Guys listen, while I want everyone to witness our beloved hope, I have a date with Judgey, so can we finally wrap this up and set this guy blasting off like Team Rocket?" Said Komaeda, already preparing some turkey bagels at his set of the mech's controls.

"Komaeda's right let's wrap this up, with our final strike!" Sigma shouted as he pushed the biggest button he could find on the controls.

The glow from Megatron's sword started to become brighter and brighter, as all the energy began diverting towards the sword, which was slowly raising like an executioner's axe over the monstrosity. Time almost seemed to stop for a second as the sword began to fall, releasing all of its wrath on the helpless target.

"Curse you Horny Rangers! I will succeed one day!" Shouted a mechanical voice, as the monstrosity was obliterated into small bits of scrap metal.

"So, do you guys want to go out and party at PF Chang's?" "FUCK YEAH!"

END