Additional information: Jonquils are actually a hybrid species of Daffodils and they represent wanting affections to be returned (according to what I found).
This is an un-beta work.
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Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from unrequited love when your love and affections are not returned. The beginning signs of Hanahaki Disease include feeling an itch in the throat, the need to cough and feeling breathless. You'll feel a growing discomfort in your lungs that never go away and soon enough, you'll be coughing out petals of flowers that represent your feelings. The coughing of petals could become fully bloomed flowers, that feeling of discomfort continues to grow and spread inside you as the vines and the roots of the disease grows and clings onto your organs. Until one day, the vines of the disease, of your feelings wrap itself around your heart and clenches it so tight and your heart gives up completely.
While Hanahaki Disease is not incurable, only a few would choose to get rid of it. The three ways to be cured of it is 1. Having your feelings returned 2. Being able to move on completely and 3. Getting an operation to remove the flowers and subsequently, removing any feelings you have for that person.
The first time Akihito noticed an itchy feeling in his throat, he thought that he was coming down with a flu. That wouldn't be surprising as it was flu season and everyone around seem to be falling sick. His first thought had been 'I should get some Ginger tea prepared in case Asami falls sick'.
But as the weeks went by, that itchy feeling didn't leave. Instead, he started coughing lightly and feeling this weird discomfort he never felt before in his lungs whenever he coughed. Still, he didn't think much of it and went about doing his job and prepping food at home.
It wasn't until three months later that Akihito coughed out his first petal. A single yellow petal lay on his tongue, a foreign feeling he didn't know he would soon become familiar with. He carefully plucks the petal from his tongue, placing it in his palm. While petals don't weigh much, the yellow petal felt so heavy, replicating the heaviness he feels in his heart.
He kept it a secret.
The next time he coughed, the petals no longer appeared one by one. Instead, it appeared as an entire bunch with salivate coating him as he coughs them into the basin. One hand on his throat while the other grip tightly against the edge of the basin. There were tears on his face as he kept his eyes firmly shut, denying the reality that comes with the flowers.
Jonquil.
Bright yellow flowers, with a message begging for affections to be returned.
Love me.
Notice me.
The flowers began to appear more and more often. Each time would be worst than the last. Trying to hide it from Asami was near impossible, but Akihito didn't want the older man to know about his feelings, especially since it's one-sided. He didn't want the older man to make fun of him and then throw him out. If he doesn't much long to live, he would rather keep his feelings a secret and spend his remaining days closer to his lover. At this point, it didn't matter to him that his feelings are unrequited.
Eventually, the disease took a toll on his day-to-day activities. Akihito could not run as fast as before, neither could he keep up with all the nightly activities that Asami like to engage him in. The flowers would threaten to spill out and he would constantly force it back down. Akihito vow to never let the older man know about it.
The accumulated petals would cause him to hunch over the toilet and vomit them all out, along with the contents in his stomach. Small bits of vines would scratch up his mouth, leaving the bright yellow petals to be stained with red.
It hurts.
It hurts so bad.
If Asami had noticed how oddly Akihito had been behaving, how little he eats now or how his movements became slow and sluggish, he didn't mention it and for that, Akihito was grateful. He knew he didn't have much time left. He could feel it in his bones and in the way his heart hurts more and more each day. Hence, to Akihito, any time left that he was able to spend with his lover is worth any pain he has to endure.
Nine months.
Nine months since the start of the disease. Akihito had been to stock up on homemade food at home. Should he die tonight, he wants to die knowing he did all he could to make things easier to Asami. He knew deep in his bones that he would not live pass this month and he wants to be fully prepared for it.
He had a picture album prepared. In it contains the memories he holds most precious to his heart. The album shows his feelings and puts it on display for all those that sees it.
Akihito also made sure to greet his lover every night, to be home and spend as much time as possible with him. He would try to get his body as close as possible to Asami and when it was time for bed, Akihito would reach out his hand to hold the older male's hand or to clutch onto his shirt (if he was wearing one) and watch the rising and falling of his chest.
He would whisper "I love you" into the dark of the night and silently wished for the older man to say it back. To him, it was nothing was a dream that he knew would never happen. Each time he says it, the harder the vines would tug on his heart. It hurts as if there was someone squeezing it, and it hurts as if Asami had found out and threw him aside to die. But no matter how much it hurts, he would never get an operation to remove it because he would rather die knowing he loved Asami as much as a person could love than to not feel anything for the older man that became a significant part of his life.
The next night when Asami returned home, he came back to the body of Takaba Akihito, lying motionless in his bed and surrounded by bright yellow Jonquil flowers. A small smile playing on his lips while his face was tucked into the older man's pillow. It looked like a scene from a fairy tale, as if he was a princess just sleeping and waiting for true love's kiss.
But that isn't the reality of this story.
Takaba Akihito died surrounded by the scent of his lover.
Takaba Akihito died surrounded by bright yellow flowers because while you live a life of unrequited love, painful and sad, in death these flowers signify that at the very least,
the love you had for the person was beautiful.
"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing."
Anais Ni
Thanks for reading!