I am currently writing a NEW fic to prove this point but for now, old and new fans, when dairy products go bad is back, after being so cruelly removed by fanfic. For all the new people; this was co-written by my friend.
Discalimer: Didn't own the first time, still don't.
When Dairy Products Go Bad
Sirius was taking a bike ride, when he discrovered a strange object. It was a lump of cheese. So he carried on riding. The cheese started to chase him, whilst shouting various insults at him, disturbingly, it reminded him of his mother. Then BANG! He had banged into a lamp post. The cheese then caught up with him.
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Said the cheese " I am Voldie-cheese, and I am evil beyond comparison!"
Then voldie-cheese carried on chasing him. Sirius started running, but he realised that it was just a silly old cheese. So he went to stand on him but voldie-cheese started eating his shoe.
"I am Voldie-cheese, you cannot defeat me that easily!"
" Oh shut up you annoying little dairy product" Said Sirius.
Then he took out his wand and shouted "AVADA KADAVRA"
The cheese layed down on the roadside, suddenly, Dolores Umbridge, sinior undersecretary to the minister and blah blah blah appeared.
" That was illegal, you're going back to Azkaban!"
"No I'm not, that was voldie-cheese, the most evil dairy product around!"
"No! It wasn't you're as thick as two short planks"
"No I'm not" He said "I bet you can't do THIS"
Then Sirius turned into a dog, jumped on Umbridge and started doing a tap dance. "so HA" He said, having turned back to normal.
"OW!" Shouted Sirius, having realised he was being prodded in the back.
"You can't kill voldie-cheese that easily, I have my amazing dairy horcrux" Said V-C
"Would that be the cow that I ate last full moon?" Asked Remus.
"oh yeah..." Said V-C,and fell down dead on the road.
Suddenly a car comes whizzing round the corner and Umbridge pushes Sirius in front of it. Later on that day Sirius died in hospital.
"NOOOOOOOOO" Screamed remus "You evil old hag. You killed Padfoot, I'LL KILL YOU! DIE" And he started attacking Umbridge with a machine gun.
"Nooo, that's against regulation 239/433333, you can't do that!"
" You will be cursed for the rest of your life" Remus said Then another car comes speeding round the corner and kills Umbridge.
"oh dear never mind" Said Remus
"HURRAY" Said everyone in St Mungo's.
"Well that was all very good," Said Sirius
"It really has been one of those days" Sighed Remus, with his head in his hands, then he waved his wand, and this story was ended, on account of it being non-sensible, completely insane, and possibly contageous.
A/N: Well, there you go! Review now please.:D