Okay credit for this goes to a very important person to this page, my editor. Abiectio. I actually love the story idea and thankfully it was worded just right to be a one shot. I hope you all enjoy it.
Sighing Weiss opened her eyes and frowned. She almost never woke up anywhere but her bed, but she was shocked to see her face pressed cleanly against the floor. The entire previous night was a blur, the only thing she could remember fully was Yang challenging herself and Blake to a shot contest. Some how Ruby managed to convince her overprotective sister that she could join despite being a year under the legal age to drink.
"On the bright side my head isn't splitting like it normally would be... never again am I drinking that much." Weiss said noticing her voice sounded far more horse than normal. Wiping the drool from her mouth she looked up to see Yang with her blanket pulled over her head. Blake had Ruby pulled tightly against her chest.
"Well at least I don't see any vomit... silver linings..." Weiss said standing up and wobbling a little as she walked into the bathroom. The need to rinse the feeling of drool of her face was strong. Weiss grabbed the corner of the sink and turned the water on. As the water began to cascade down she cupped her hands to fill it with the water.
She took a drink from her hands and brought them under once more. As it filled up again she splashed her face. She looked up into the mirror to see if her drunk self was kind enough to clean her makeup off.
'I'm pretty sure I'm still drunk, or asleep. Preferably both. There is no way Yang is looking back at me.' Weiss thought as she brought her hand up and began to wave it. The figure looking make managed to mimic her perfectly. As Weiss placed one hand on the mirror and brought the other up to touch her face. Each passing second she was getting more and more convinced she wasn't dreaming.
Weiss pinched her arm. "Oh dear god... this isn't a dream." Weiss said she ran out of the room and climbed to Yang's bed and ripped the blanket off. What looked at her was her body sleeping.
Blake turned around in Ruby's arms. It was odd, she distinctly remembered Ruby in her arms but what Blake found odd, she couldn't hear the normal sound of Ruby's heart beat. Blake wasn't aloud time to focus on the odd fact when she heard Yang yell and Weiss falling down.
"It is still early, surely you both should still be asleep." Blake said laying back down. That was when she noticed, Ruby had larger chest, and she couldn't feel the comfortable confines of the ribbon covering her ears. She opened her eyes and saw herself still asleep. Blake ferociously shook her body.
"Blake stop it. I want to stay asleep for a little longer. We can just make out later." Blake heard and knew exactly that it was Ruby. 'Oh no this is not good.'
"Ruby, get up this seems important." Blake said as Ruby turned around facing the wall.
"I believe the what is important is the lack of us cuddling." Ruby muttered as Blake quickly rummaged through the joke gifts Yang got Ruby and pulled out the small silver cat whistle and blew.
"Ah what the hell is that!?" Ruby yelled going to cover where the painful sound was coming from.
'Heh I'll admit that is funny when I can't hear it, But right now we all need to be awake.' Blake thought as Ruby's eyes shot opened and just stared at her body holding the joke cat whistle Yang got her for her last birthday just after she told Yang she was dating Blake since their first year just before they participated in the Vytal tournament.
"Ohhh this has got to be a bad dream... a really bad dream." Ruby said rubbing her ears. As she looked on the floor and saw Weiss and on the ground covering her head as her sister stood over her yelling. Using words Ruby would never associate with her sister, the most common phrase was 'WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME YOU BARBARIC DOLT!' Not that Ruby doubt her sister's vocabulary, this was purely because that one Weiss was anything but a 'Barbaric Dolt' and two Yang would be calling her some pun on her name and her love of the cold.
"Okay... I see what you mean... this definitely qualifies as important." Ruby said sitting up. All traces of sleep having been banished as her body just punched her in the arm. "Blake... please tell me this is all a bad dream." Ruby said closing her eyes once more.
"Well let's test that. If it is just a dream I should be able to hear the cat whistle and you shouldn't be able to." Blake said as she blew hard into the whistle. Ruby's hands shot up and pulled the whistle from Blake's mouth.
"Dear god! That hurts so bad. I get it. It isn't a dream." Ruby said rubbing her ears feeling loathing the friction the ribbon Blake always wore to cover her ears. Ruby pulled the ribbon to ease the pain on her ears. "And that ribbon itches so bad." Ruby said as Blake moved her hands.
Before Ruby could make go back to her new pair of ears Blake as fast as she could tied the ribbon around her old ears. "Until we figure this all out do not take off the ribbon. I refuse to have my secret revealed because you got uncomfortable." Blake said calmly as Ruby mulled it over.
'Well it is her body. But this damn ribbon sucks.' Ruby thought as she finally decided to stand up and pull Yang off Weiss. Or who Ruby thought was her sister. If what ever affected herself and Blake for all she knew could have also affected Yang and Weiss. "Yang leave Weiss alone!" Ruby yelled pulling her sister's body away from Weiss.
"I'm not that dolt!" Weiss yelled as Yang began to laugh as her baby sister's body helped her up. "I would love to know what the hell that barbarian dolt put in those glasses though!" Weiss yelled forcing out of Blake's bodies grip to glare at Yang laying on the floor.
"Okay so I may have goofed and poured the wrong dust into the glasses." Yang said standing up and dusting off Weiss' arguably very comfortable nightgown. "I had two identical vials of orange dust one was to allow us drink more without getting plastered as fast. The other I was going to spike Cardin's and Velvet's drink, I think the person I bought it from called it Mutatio Corporis. No idea what that meant just said if two people drank from it the can change their bodies or make them fall in love. I figured it would be a win win. Cardin would stop bullying Faunus either way." Yang said quickly avoiding the death glare Weiss threw her way.
"That is insanely rare! How the HELL did you get that!" Weiss yelled storming closer to her old body. 'huh I never realised how small I was or to be more exact how freakishly tall Yang is.' was going through her mind as she looked down and Yang just began to give her a death glare waiting for Yang to answer her.
"If I told you my source you would get bitchy and bury the person under so much legalities that the individual in question would have to reveal how he has... uh... acquired the dust." Yang said avoiding not only avoiding pronouns but was also being vague. Much to Weiss' dismay.
"You daft woman. I need a name so I can see if he is registered to sell that type. If he is he will also stock the remedy. If not then we may be stuck like this for a few days while I have it shipped over." Weiss said her anger flaring to a dangerous level for Yang.
"Oh he is the furthest thing from a 'registered' source." Yang said smiling as Weiss got further and further.
"Fuck! Now I need to go and explain this without a name! You Xiao Long are coming with me!" Weiss said forcing Yang up and into the bathroom. Before Yang could even comment about the lack of clothes Weiss threw in one of her many outfits, to get changed.
"Well, they are doing that, wanna cuddle?" Ruby asked sitting down on the Blake's bed dragging her old self down. 'Wow Blake is so much weaker. If Blake wanted to put up a fight I couldn't win.' Ruby thought as she kissed the top of her head.
"Fine, but this is going to be so weird with." Blake said as she wrapped her arms around her body and both beginning the awkward part of trying to get comfortable. 'God damn it. I'm just getting a face full of hair. How does Nora deal with this with Pyrrha?' Blake thought as the struggle continued.
"Okay this just doesn't feel right. Do you want to switch positions?" Ruby asked looking over her shoulder to see Blake nod partially. They shifted once more and Ruby wrapped her arms around her much smaller body. "This still feels wrong... I don't like being the big spoon." Ruby complained as Blake began to enjoy the feeling. The protection she felt from having the arms wrapped around her felt relaxing.
"I told you Nora. Blake is the big spoon." Pyrrha said jostling the two women asleep. 'Damn... Blake's hearing is too sensitive.' Ruby thought as both of them sat up. Ruby rubbed her eyes lightly. She didn't even realise they fell asleep.
"I doubt it. Blake may be taller but have you ever lifted Ruby's scythe. That thing weighs like a metric shit ton. Not an imperial shit ton. That is a very important distinction. Especially when it gets to sloths. But sloths while hot aren't nearly as hot as you, Pyrrha." Nora said quickly interweaving their hands.
"Not true! She only weighs twenty seven point three kilos, without the ammunition." Ruby said defending her first sweetheart and instantly regretted it. She forgot she wasn't... well herself. 'Please say that they just think Blake wanted to learn about her to be romantic or something.' Ruby thought a Blake just stared at her.
'Well this is going to be difficult to explain. You referred to your weapon as a she no one is slow enough to not catch that. I'm just glad that Weiss isn't here screaming right now.' Blake thought as Ruby just looked shocked and quickly tried to hide her shock and force herself into a stoic one.
"Wait... did you just refer to Ruby's weapon as a 'She'? As well as knew the weapon's exact weight?" Pyrrha asked taking her hand from Nora's and stepped closer looking quizzically at the duo.
"Blakey knew it would make me happy if she knew the exact details about her. She even knows the exact specifications about the ammo." Blake said trying to confuse them.
"Prove it, Cresent Rose uses what ammunition? Exactly how many grains of dust are in the explosive rounds?" Nora asked jumping onto the base of the bed.
"fifty calibre rounds. Seventy grains of explosive dust twenty of fire twenty of ice to just slightly delay the reaction." Ruby recited it off like it was nothing special. 'I wish she memorised my favourite book series like that, but noooo I need to tell her every other day.' Blake thought enviously about the inanimate object.
"And what is your favourite book series?" Pyrrha asked clearly not convinced by Ruby answering Nora's question.
'Oh find me in the alps... what is Blake's favourite book series. Think of the most recent one... all I can come up with is that smutty one.' Ruby thought and before she could finish her train of thought her mouth decided to speak before it decided to pass what it will say it just spoke. "Ninjas of Love." Ruby just blurted out and could see Blake next to her blush.
"You're not Blake. Now explain." Pyrrha said taking a step back as Nora continued to jump on the bed not caring about how Pyrrha doesn't trust the two.
"Yang made a mistake and accidentally gave us a rare type of dust that forced us into each other's bodies. I'm actually Ruby, and Blake is me and Weiss is Yang and Yang is Weiss and this is all confusing but supposedly Weiss can get something that can reverse it but for now we are like this and apparently we agreed to not let people know and Blake is going to be mad about the fact I have yet to remember her favourite book but everything about Crescent Rose I know exactly. To the point I can reassembly her blindfolded." Ruby said a mile a minute. Even Nora had to stop to put everything together.
"Makes since... I told Yang don't buy it from him but she insisted that nothing would go wrong." Nora said quickly jumping on Pyrrha's back giggling as the other people in the room looked at her like they wanted her to explain. "I promised her I wouldn't reveal him. But clearly Yang owes me some pancakes." Nora said frowning as Pyrrha sat down.
"Well you two can put some clothes on and we can do what we planned to do earlier and play whatever it was that Ruby... or... Blake... or whoever wanted to play." Pyrrha said as the other two began to relax.
"I'm pretty sure Yang would kill me if I saw more of Ruby than she already knows what I've seen." Blake said causing Ruby next to her laugh.
"Well Yang wouldn't kill you because she would kill me or at least make me sad and I would make her feel terrible." Ruby said hugging Blake. "Besides if Yang knew about us doing that one thing last holiday she would have already killed you." Ruby whispered into Blake's ear causing her to blush a shade that was akin to Ruby's namesake.
"Let's play that game, without me getting killed so we are staying in our pyjamas!" Blake yelled attempting to control the blood in her face.
Weiss was furious. Not only did Yang force their bodies to switch her and Weiss' sister become great friends at Weiss' expense. 'Not only did Winter embarrass me she made plans to go and meet the brute. I hope they choke on whatever it is they will be drinking.'
"Hey Princess, turns out Win decided that she wants to deliver the stuff in person. She says she will be here tonight. Then I'm going out drinking with her." Yang said taking long mocking steps next to Weiss you huddled her body and continued to walk forward speeding up trying to lose Yang.
"Oh come on. Are you still mad that Winter just threw away all those small little plushie toys of yours because you swapped her shampoo last year with super glue? Because I agree that, that was funny. Whilst I also agree that if you do a trick like that you should expect some large form of payback." Yang said as Weiss threw the dorm room door open.
"And sweet Ruby busted out Conker's Bad Fur Day. Dibs on playing winner!" Yang said jumping into an open seat and continued to watch the game while Weiss sat down on her bed while she ignored the group playing the game. She wasn't in the mood to deal with them being childish. She was more worried about her sister meeting Ruby and Blake.
"Oh my sweet little sister. I told you time, and time again. Don't consume dust. You should be glad Daddy dearest loves me enough to trust me with this kind of thing. Your lucky that Blondie and myself there are going to go out tonight." Winter said handing out four small glass vials.
"Slight problem it rarely gets this bad but you all have to consume that within thirty seconds. The alternative if the person you swapped bodies with fails to do it, well death is guaranteed so take it how you will." She said with a small smile on her face as she saw Weiss glare at her.
"I still stand by what I said earlier. You're a lot better than the ice princess, like you aren't a monumental bitch." Yang said as she quickly downed the vial. Seeing this Weiss followed suit muttering slurs under her breath.
"Well Blakey, bottoms up." Ruby said swallowing the drink at the same time as Blake. 'While Ruby cursed Blake's sensitive taste as well as her sense of hearing. 'God that tastes like terrible. I can't even begin to imagine how terrible this would be to grow up with it all your life.' Ruby thought as she felt drowsy and sat down.
Before she could even realise anything she fell over she could see that she seemed to be the last one, while Weiss' sister who she couldn't even remember her name but all she could see was her pulling out a nail file and began to file her nails. Ruby's eyes eventually fell shut like the rest of her team.
Ruby didn't really know how long she was out, all she knew was she was being shaken awake. Her eyes flew open to see Blake. The in her actual body looking back down smiling. "Please say I'm me. I really don't want to be anyone else." Ruby said as Blake leaned down and kissed her.
"Of course it's you. You beautiful woman who shouldn't be able to be as cute as you are." Blake smiled poking Ruby's nose.
"Good. I'm never drinking again. Or to be more exact I'm never drinking with Yang." Ruby joked getting a laugh from Blake.
Author's Note:
Okay dialogue heavy and normally if you read my other stories realise when I use humour it is generally involving a level of wit that you acquire from watching a bunch of British comedians. Along with sarcasm because it is the humour I use in real life. But I do love the challenge in using far more basic humour. But I'm glad you all have read it this far and haven't just given your screen the finger and closed your browser. Leave a review.
Oh and it took me eight hours without sleep to write this.