Disclaimer: Everything, including my soul, belongs to Disney. I'm just having fun with it. I'll put it back, I promise!
Whatever
Zazu half-closed his eyes. He was seating on the bamboo fence before the Tiki Room, enjoying the last rays of setting sun and a light breeze that furred his feathers. Somewhere behind him, hidden by the evergreen lives of palm trees was Iago, arguing. That certainly was not uncommon, in fact, sometimes Zazu even thought that Iago would blow up if he didn't argue with anybody at least twice a day.
Iago even managed to argue with tiki statues, that being almost impossible considering the fact that tiki statues didn't even talk properly, chattering their teeth angrily most of the time.
This was just the case: after some dirty talk from Iago, remembering termites and someone's mother, Zazu heard a typical sound of two pieces of wood clattering.
Zazu sighed. Iago by all means was the most unbearable person he had ever met. Even mischievous young lions seemed to be little virtuous angels compared to his explosive nature. Iago was unrestrained all right. Yet, somehow they got along pretty well. It sounded bizarre that of all Zazu's acquaintances, Iago was the one and only to neglect his status completely. But it was true, and for a change Zazu just enjoyed being himself, not a trusty majordomo or a famous movie star.
- You moron piece of rotten wood! – Iago squeezed his way through the green of tropical plants, missing a tail feather or two, and flopped down on the fence near Zazu. He tided his disheveled feathers up, muttering curses under his breath.
- It's just a wooden statue, you know. You shouldn't get so mad at it, - Zazu opened his eyes and turned to face Iago.
- Wha? That "just wooden statue" called me fat! Can you imagine?! Me! Fat! Fat and witless!!! - Iago glanced at Zazu, quickly becoming annoyed once again.
- Please, Iago. Remember what I told you... - pleaded Zazu quickly, fearing that Iago will lose his temper once again, and this time he will be in the epicenter of the outburst.
- 'Bout Monkey Tuna Tostada? Yeah, yeah, I do, - Iago sounded calmer and more relaxed, either remembering a nice concept of no worries or recollecting the fact that tiki statues songs were real blockbusters.
Whatever the case, holistic Apocalypse had been postponed until further notice. Zazu sighed with relief, and then corrected the parrot hopelessly:
- That's Hakuna Matata, Iago.
- Whatever.
A/N: Blame it on the samba. Uh… Ok, not on the samba, but on the Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room: Under New Management. By no means could I have thought about this extremely nice pairing myself.