I woke up to the sound of a ringing phone. Then I felt somebody shift next to me.
"Hey honey."
My heart fell when I realised who was on the other side of the phone. It was her, Edward's wife.
"Yeah, another late night at the office. I'll be home soon, I was just getting ready to leave."
I wanted to scream, let her know that he was lying to her and had been for the last six months. But I couldn't. He would never forgive me. And I couldn't be without him, no matter how much I wanted to sometimes.
He got of off the bed and started to dress. I shifted deeper under the covers on my bed. When he was done, he leaned over to me and gave me a small kiss on the lips.
"I have to go. I'll call you tomorrow." He said and he gave me another kiss.
Then he was gone. Just as usual, I didn't say anything. I just lay there and did nothing to make him stay.
How did my life turn out this way? I was smart, confident and independent. At least I used to be.
My 2 best friends kept telling me that I deserved better and that I should leave him.
And some part of me agreed with them. But my heart didn't.
I had tried to be without him, but it didn't work.
Without him I was empty.
**************flashback: 6 months ago**********
I went out with Alice and Rose. I had broken up with my boyfriend two months ago, and they had had enough of my sulking. They convinced me that it was time to move on.
I didn't want to go to a club and after a lot of begging on my part, we decided to go bowling.
I didn't have the best eye-hand coordination, but I always enjoyed bowling with Alice and Rosalie, because it was the one thing we were all equally bad at.
All was well, until 3 guys walked in and sat down at the table by the lane next to ours.
"Oh my God!" Alice squealed.
I immediately recognised the sound. She was something she wanted.
I looked at her and then at the 3 men.
Alice was right. They were gorgeous.
She was looking straight at a blond guy. He was a bit taller then the average and had an almost angelic face.
"The big one is mine!" Rose stated.
She was talking about a huge man, with short dark curls and child like features, a big contrast to his seemingly overdeveloped body. He would have scared me if not for the soft look in his eyes.
Then I moved my eyes to the third men. Suddenly I couldn't breathe.
He was perfect. He had brown hair, with a slight touch of bronze and piercing green eyes.
He was beautiful.
Alice waved her hand in front of my eyes, successfully breaking my gaze.
"See something you like, Bella?" she asked.
Then she giggled. "Let's g over there and talk to them!"
She grabbed my arm and pulled me along. Rose had already seated herself next to the huge guy.
She smiled and then introduced us.
"Alice, Bella. Meet Emmett, Jasper and Edward." She said, pointing at them while saying their names.
Alice sat down next to the blond guy, Jasper, leaving me to stand alone.
I couldn't move, I felt like I was under some sort of spell.
"Aren't you going to sit down? I won't bite, I promise."
The sound of his voice fit him perfectly. It was enchanting and beautiful.
I blinked a few times, still not able to move.
"Bella?" he was looking at me, and I felt the red creeping up my cheeks.
"Sorry, I was daydreaming…" I mumbled and then finally remembered how to use my legs. I sat down next to him.
"Hi, I'm Edward Cullen." He said, holding out his hand.
I grabbed it and replied. "I'm Bella Swan."
I looked down, still embarrassed by my inability to move before.
"It looks like they hit it of, don't you think?" he asked, grinning at me.
I looked over at my friends and saw that they were in deep conversation with the other two men.
I recognised the look on their faces, and knew that I was on my own for the rest of the rest of the night.
"You realise that your friends are lost forever now. I doubt you'll ever get them back." I said, and he laughed out loud.
"Hmm… I guess you'll have to keep me company then." He replied and I immediately was blushing again.
And that was how it began. We just clicked and before I realised it we were back at my apartment.
We had sex that night, which was kind of ironic since my last boyfriend dumped me because I didn't want to sleep with him yet. I always said I wanted to be in love for real, before I would take that step. And there I was, letting a man I didn't even know take my virginity.
But I didn't regret it.
The next morning when he left, he said that he would call me. I nodded, but didn't believe him. I convinced myself that he would just be a happy memory.
He proved me wrong by calling me the next day, asking me out on a date.
Everything was perfect for a month. Until the night it all came falling down.
He came by my apartment, but he had a weird look in his eyes. I was worried, but didn't think to much of it at first. Then he said he wanted to talk, and I knew something was horribly wrong.
"Bella, I'm married." He said, looking down.
I didn't know what to say.
"Please, say something." He pleaded, now looking into my eyes. He had tears in his.
"What can I say? Is this a recent development? I asked, still not knowing what to think or feel.
He shook his head.
"How long?" I asked, looking away from him. I dreaded his answer.
"Three years. We got married right after college. The night I met you we had been on a break for 3 months. She said she needed time, and I gave her what she wanted. I thought she was going to divorce me. I saw you and I immediately was attracted to you. And when we started talking there was this connection. I honestly believed my marriage was over and I wanted you. And I don't regret it, not one second!" he said, sounding desperate.
"But now you're back together with your wife." I whispered.
"Yes. She called me yesterday. She said she wanted to talk. I expected her to tell me that she wanted a divorce. But she said that she wanted me back. That she was wrong and that she needed me.
I felt the tears streaming down my face. He was going to leave me.
"So we're done? It's over?" I asked. My voice broke.
He got up from the couch and pulled me against his chest. I hugged him back, not wanting to let go.
"I owe it to her. I need to give my marriage a chance." He said.
I pulled away.
"I understand." I lied. I was feeling the exact opposite of understanding, but I couldn't let him know that.
"Can you go please? I need to be alone." My voice broke again.
He gave me a kiss on the cheek, and turned away.
After he left, I felt numb, empty. I fell to the ground and cried.
I must have fallen asleep, because I woke to the sound of my best friend's voice.
"Bella! What happened?" she cried. Then I heard her dialling a number on her phone.
"Rose. Come quickly. There's something wrong with Bella!"
Then she sat down next to me, put my head in her lap and softly caressed my hair. Soon I heard the front door open, and then the sound of Rose's voice.
"What happened?" she asked.
"I don't know. She hasn't said a thing."
It felt weird to hear them talking about me, as if I couldn't hear them.
"Emmett. Did something happen with Edward?"
I winced when I heard his name. It hurt to think about him.
"That bastard!" Rose said, sounding angry.
"What did he do?" Alice asked.
"He's married. Has been for three years. He told Bella last night. Apparently they were separated, but now they're back together."
I head Alice gasp.
"Bella? Can you stand up? You should be in your bed right now." Alice said.
They helped me up and to my bedroom. I laid down, and they got in the bed next to me, one on each side holding me.
"It's going to be okay." Alice said. I just cried again.
The next month was hell. I thought my last break up was bad, but it was nothing compared to this.
I just existed, nothing more.
Rose and Alice were really worried. They thought I was going to hurt myself. I had thought about it, but I couldn't. I couldn't do that to them, or my family.
So I kept breathing, hoping that my pain would end. But I knew there was only one person who could make that happen.
Then one day I had had enough. I had to see him. So I skipped class and went to his work.
He was an intern at his father's private clinic.
"Can I speak with Edward Cullen please." I said to the receptionist.
"I'll have to check. What's your name?" she asked.
"Isabella Swan."
She picked up her phone. "Dr. Cullen. There's a Isabella Swan here to see you."
She was silent for a second and then put down the phone.
"His office is the second door on the right." She smiled.
I thanked her and walked in the direction she pointed me to.
Suddenly I was nervous, sick to the stomach. I breathed in and out, pulled myself together and knocked on his door.
"Come in."
I opened the door, looking down. Then I slowly lifted my eyes, until they connected with his. I saw the same pain in his green eyes, as I had seen in my brown ones for the last month.
"Bella." He said, his voice barely audible.
I started crying again and then his arms were around me.
"I can't do it anymore." I sobbed against his chest. "I can't be without you anymore."
His lips crashed on mine. The kiss was desperate. Then he pulled back.
Again, I was left standing, unable to move. I heard the door lock and the blinds falling down. Then his hands were on me. Pulling at my clothes.
I felt like I had woken up from a deep sleep and the adrenaline seared through my body. I started pulling on his clothes, wanting to see him again. All of him.
When we were finally naked, he picked me up and laid me down on his desk. He kissed me hard, spread my legs and then I felt him.
He was in me, thrusting hard and fast. My hips met his thrusts with the same passion. The tension in my body built and when it reached its peak I screamed his name.
Two thrusts later he screamed mine and crushed down on me. I welcomed the feeling of his body pressed against mine and kissed his neck.
I knew it was wrong, that he was still married , but I didn't care.
I needed him.
******************** end flashback ***************
I got up from the bed and called Alice.
"Hey Bella." She answered, cheerful as usual. She and Jasper were obnoxiously happy together.
"I need help Alice. I can't live like this anymore." I sobbed.
Her tone changed immediately. "He left again?" she asked.
"Yes. And it hurts Alice. Every time he goes home to her, a piece of me dies. I have to stop it, but I can't."
She sighed. "You have to make him choose. There's no other way. It's killing you Bella." She said.
I knew she was right. It was the only thing I could do to save myself.
"Next time he comes over, you have to tell him. He has to make a choice."
"I know, Alice. I will tell him." 'No matter how much it hurts…'
He called the next day, saying he would come over around 8 pm. I said it was alright.
I knew what was coming and I dreaded it.
8 pm came to fast. I wasn't ready, but I realised that I would never be ready. There wasn't a good time to do this. I had to be strong.
He knocked on my door. I was nervous, but I didn't want him to see that. So I put a smile on my face and let him in.
He kissed me and then I lead him to the couch. It was now or never. I took in a deep breath.
"Edward. This has to stop. It's not fair on me or your wife. Every time she calls, my heart breaks and I can't do it anymore. I will not live my life this way. You have to make a choice."
His head was in his hands. "Please Bella. Don't make me do this." He pleaded.
Then his phone went of. I wanted to cry, but I had to keep it together.
"Hey honey. I'll be home in 30 minutes, I promise." He said. "I love you too."
I broke down. I sunk down on my knees in front of him, took his face in my hands and looked into his eyes. He was crying.
"Edward, please don't go." I pleaded. Tears were streaming from my eyes.
"Bella. I love you. But I love her too. This is so screwed up, and I don't know what to do. I'm sorry." He whispered.
He got up and walked towards the door.
"If you leave now, you'll lose me. I meant it when I said I couldn't do it anymore." I said, each word breaking my heart.
"Please, just give me some time to work things out." He said and then he was gone.
He left me, again.
At that moment I swore it would be the last time. I had thought about it all day, and I knew what I was going to do.
One of my friends from high school went to college in California. I had spoken to her about me staying over there for a while. It was summer break, but she stayed in California with her boyfriend.
So I started packing my stuff. I knew my landlord would be pissed about me leaving at such short notice, but I had no choice. I had to disappear.
I called Rose and Alice and explained what happened. They said they would come over to help me pack. Then I called Angela, telling her I would arrive soon.
I booked a seat on the first flight, the next morning.
Saying goodbye to my friends was hard, but they understood why I had to do this. They even suggested that I could transfer to USC next semester.
I did nothing but cry during the flight. But I was determined that I would make it this time. I wouldn't let things get out of hand like before.
The transfer papers came through at the end of the summer, so I could start the new school year at USC.
I missed my friends back home, but I needed this. It was a fresh start.
A/N: this isn't the end. There will be a second chapter, but I'm still working on that. What do you think? What choice will Edward make? And what if he chooses Bella, will it be too late?
The story is inspired by the song 'Stay' by Sugarland. I was watching the Grammy's a couple of days ago, when I heard this song. The idea just popped up. I know it's probably been done before, but I wanted to give it a try.
Hope you liked it.