The Mystery of the Missing Fez
By Ami the Queen of the Evil Flying Monkeys

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Disclaimer: I don't own squat, and if you're dumb enough to think I'm JK Rowling, you need more help than Bunny (no offense to Bunny, she's not stupid, just insane). Oh and Skittles belong in Bunny's and my tummies and they also belong to heaven, or whatever company owns them. On with the story!
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"Ron Weasley let us in NOW!!" Ami said, pounding on the door to the Burrow, her hair clinging to her wet face. Thundering footsteps could be heard from within, and the door was flung open within a matter of seconds.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU...oh hi guys, it's only you." Ron said, looking sheepish after he recognized them.

"Well hello to you too, Mr. Ray-of-sunshine. Would you like to invite us in or shall we continue to stand in the pouring rain?" Ami said sarcastically, not being in the nicest of moods at that particular moment.

"Sure, come on in." Ron said, opening the door wider and allowing them to pass into the kitchen. The girls squeezed water out of their dripping hair, and the guys huddled by the fireplace for warmth.

"So, your mom and dad aren't around, are they?" Ami asked, noticing the lack of parentage in the cozy home.

"Yeah, it's their twentieth anniversary so they went on vacation and put Percy in charge for a week. What a treat, he's been acting like he owns the place all day, and they just left this morning! But mum said before she left we could invite you guys over, as long as we keep it under control and no parties." Ron explained, raiding the refrigerator (Mr.Weasley had found this in a Muggle junkyard and repaired it, fascinated at how it worked, and somehow Mrs.Weasley ended up with it).

"Butterbeer, anyone?" Ron asked, pulling out two six-packs of it and passing bottles around.

"Thanks Ron, I've never had this stuff before. Harry's told me about it. Wow, this is good! It's so much better than root beer." Ami commented, taking a long sip from her bottle.

"Root...beer?" Ron and Draco said confusedly, not familiar with the Muggle beverage.

"It's yucky, believe me." Ami said, making a face.

"Hey I like it!" Hermione commented, cocking her head and drinking from her bottle.

"It varies from person to person. Wait a minute, and you can try it." Eliza said, pulling out her wand and muttering a few words. A bottle instantly appeared in front of her and she popped it open and passed it to Ron and Draco. Ron took a swig and nearly gagged.

"Ugh! That's terrible!" Ron sputtered, spitting it out into the sink and washing it out. Draco drank from the bottle, and smacked his lips.

"Mmm...that was good. Weasley, how can you not like this stuff?" Draco asked, finishing off the bottle. Ron and Ami made disgusted faces.

Ron, eager to get away from the smell of the root beer, motioned for them to follow him. They deposited their bottles in the garbage can, which instantly made the bottles vanish, leaving the bottom clean and empty as before. They stomped up the long, winding flights of stairs, looking at the pictures on the wall, watching baby Ron and baby Ginny grow, then they watched younger versions of Fred and George give each other rabbit ears and put toothpaste in Percy's hair gel. Then they progressed to Bill and Charlie, holding Quidditch cups and various awards, and a large family portrait showing all nine Weasleys waving and grinning for the camera. Ron stopped suddenly, causing everyone behind him to crash into the person in front of them.

"Oww! Ron next time warn us before you do that!" Bunny said, rubbing her head tenderly where she had fallen on Draco's shoulder.

"Ladies, your room. May I present, shrine de Mr.Crouch!" Ron said grandly, opening a door that was apparently to Percy's room. Eliza stifled a scream as two large, beady eyes stared back at her. A huge poster of Mr.Crouch hung above Percy's bed, and in the corner was a small framed picture of Penelope Clearwater, Percy's longtime girlfriend.

"Why're we staying in here?" Ami asked, stepping inside tentatively, nervous under the gaze of Mr.Crouch.

"Mum told us we had to split up the guys and girls, rubbish if you ask me, because we might get together and "act like little bunny rabbits" if you get my point. Anyway, Percy volunteered his room since he is supposed to be in charge. He's bunking with Fred and George, and they're about to kill him." Ron said, motioning towards the ceiling. As if to prove his point, a loud thump suddenly came from above, followed by a voice.

"FRED, GEORGE DON'T DO THAT! NO! STOPPIT!" a slightly high-pitched, stern voice boomed overhead, immersing the female occupants of the room below in giggles.
The yelling stopped, and thundering footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs. Fred and George burst into the room, looking very pleased with themselves.

After Fred and George had appropriately greeted the group (hugs for the girls, hand slaps and shoulder claps for the guys), they began to relay the most recent events in their long-running pranking career.

"Well, we were trying to invent a type of coffee to make your hair stand on end all day, but when we tested it on Percy it didn't quite turn out the way we would've liked." George said. Fred nodded and motioned at the door. A pair of horn-rimmed glasses was peeking around the doorcasing.

"Hi Percy!" Hermione said happily, remembering all the help Percy had offered her last summer with her homework.

"Hi Hermione." Percy replied, blushing at being discovered so blatantly spying on his younger brothers. He reluctantly stepped forward into the room, and everyone burst into laughter. Percy's hair was a horrible shade of green, and was spiked out in every direction imaginable.

"It's not funny." Percy said through pursed lips, watching his brothers and their friends laugh it up at his expense.

"I'm sorry Percy, but it's just so funny!" Ami giggled, covering her mouth to keep from hiccuping. "Oh, by the way, I just love your Mr.Crouch motif, very chic."

"Um...excuse me...very important Ministry, um, business to tend to." Percy mumbled, blushing behind his glasses and hurrying out, retreating back upstairs to Fred and George's room.

"Ministry business my ass. He's probably going to write a love letter to Penelope or his boss." Ron laughed, watching his older brother retreat up the stairs.

Ron, Harry, and Draco left about an hour later, leaving the girls to get dressed and freshen up before dinner, which Ginny, Fred, and George were preparing.

"Hey, what's this?" Ami asked, picking up a bright red flat thing out of one corner of the room where she was brushing her hair.

"I dunno." Bunny said, shrugging and continuing putting on her favorite pink robes.

Ami unflattened the thing, and put it on her head.

"Ooh I likey this, I always wanted a funny hat!" Ami said, grinning and modeling the hat, which clashed horribly against her periwinkle blue robes.

Eliza and Hermione looked at Ami and Bunny skeptically, who were over in the corner taking turns with the funny hat and giggling like mad. Hermione and Eliza rolled their eyes, and continued with what they were doing. After twenty more minutes of primping and giggling, they emerged from Percy's room, fresh and clean in crisp, colorful robes with shining hair and eyes.

"I wonder what Ginny, Fred, and George are making for dinner?" Bunny wondered aloud, drooling at the thought of food.

"Uh oh." Ami said, realization sinking in.

"What do you mean, uh oh?" Eliza asked, stopping on the stairs and looking back at Ami, who wore a look of dread on her face.

"Think about it, this is Fred and George we're talking about? Does it take turning your hair green like Percy to realize what Fred and George are going to do?" Ami said, tranced, staring off into space. The girls exchanged looks, and wearing identical expressions of dread.

"Hermione! Ami! Eliza! Bunny! Dinner!" Ginny called up the stairs, straight into the face of Eliza, who happened to be leading the group down the stairs. Ginny turned three shades of red, mumbled an apology, and scurried back off to the kitchen where Fred and George were whizzing plates and cups around the room at breakneck speed.

Ginny giggled at her brothers, and told them to stop. Once the last cup had settled into it's place, Ginny started serving as everyone else sat down.

"Gin do you need some help?" Ami asked, getting up to help Ginny serve.

"No, I can do it Ami. Thanks anyway." Ginny said, ladling soup into bowls and practicing her shaky levitation to get the bowls to the table. There was a breathtakingly close encounter between one of the bowls and Ron's lap, but fortunately for Ron, Hermione grabbed it before it tipped.

"What did you make, Ginny?" Eliza asked politely, stirring her soup and eyeing Fred and George suspiciously. Fred and George gave her a purely angelic look, which she saw straight through.

"Tomato soup, and sandwiches. Sorry guys, I'll find something better to make later." Ginny said, bringing in platters of sandwiches.

"Oh, this looks great Ginny. Anything edible is wonderful right now, we haven't eaten all day." Ami said, smiling at Ginny to make her feel better. After everyone had had their fill of soup and sandwiches, they settled down into the living room. Percy, mumbling something about a Ministry report, retreated upstairs, surprisingly leaving his younger siblings and their guests alone for the night.

"Wow, I never thought Perce would be so easy on us." Ron laughed, sitting next to Hermione.

"Snuggle time!" Bunny announced happily from her position next to Draco, nearly sitting on his lap in a large armchair. Everyone started snuggling happily. Ginny looked sad, watching her brothers and their girlfriends snuggle happily, and she retreated to her room early. Ami looked up guiltily from Harry's shoulder, and followed her, leaving Harry to watch her go all alone.

"Sorry Harry, I feel really bad about Gin. She still has that crush on you, you know." Ami explained, starting her ascent up the stairs.

"Do you need help?" Harry asked, uncomfortable being the only non-snuggling one in the group.

"Naah, this is kind of a girl thing, Harry. I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?" Ami said, winking at him and climbing the stairs.

"Ginny, can we talk?" Ami called softly through Ginny's closed door, knocking gently.

Ginny opened the door a crack, saw who it was, then opened it all the way.

"Hi Ami, what do you need?" Ginny asked, sorrow still flashing slightly in her eyes.

"Gin, you know you can tell me anything, is there something wrong?" Ami asked, sitting down in a chair near the door, while Ginny sat on her bed. Ginny sighed and shook her head.

"Is it Harry?" Ami persisted gently, looking straight at Ginny.

"Well.." Ginny began reluctantly, messing with a loose thread on her robes, "Yes."

"Ginny, there are lots of guys out there, believe me. I used to be the crush queen, ask Bunny or Eliza." Ami comforted. Ginny looked up at her.

"Really?" Ginny asked, looking at Ami in a new light.

"Yep. Then I found the right guy for me, Harry. Don't worry, Gin. There's one for you too, and I have a feeling you'll find him soon enough." Ami said, smiling at Ginny. Ginny grinned, and looked happier.

"You really think so?" Ginny asked, looking hopeful.

"I'm sure of it." Ami said, smiling and walking out the door.

"Ami?" Ginny called, watching Ami leave.

"Yeah?" Ami replied, turning around to face Ginny again.

"Thanks." Ginny said, smiling.

"I'm back!" Ami announced happily, bouncing down the stairs back into the snuggle fest.

"Good for you, leave me alone." Bunny mumbled from Draco's shoulder.

"Hey, let's do something!" Ami said, suddenly bored with snuggling for the moment (A/N- GASP! Is that POSSIBLE?!)

"Like what?" Ron asked, moving over on the couch. Hermione looked up at him, apparently peeved at her headrest being removed.

"Not Truth or Dare, that game is stupid." Eliza replied, detaching herself from Fred.

"Seven Minutes in Heaven!" Harry suggested enthusiastically.

"HARRY! Can't you think of anything else?" Ami giggled, making Harry blush.

"Not if I can help it." Harry mumbled, his face returning to it's normal color. Ami punched him teasingly in the shoulder and grinned.

"If we could interrupt you two, what exactly are we going to do?" Eliza asked, tapping her foot and watching Ami and Harry have a fake fistfight on the other couch.

As if in response to Eliza's question, Percy came thundering down the stairs at that precise minute. His face was flushed and his eyes glared around the room.

"THIEF! SOMEONE STOLE MY FEZ!" Percy shouted angrily.

"Pez? Ooh I likey pez they tis pure sugary goodness.." Bunny said, spacing out thinking about candy.

"No you stupid prat, FEZ! MY FEZ!" Percy said, stomping his feet as his face grew redder and redder, and clashed horribly with his still-green hair.

"What's a fez?" Ami whispered to Harry, watching Percy throw another tantrum.

"I don't know, but it must be important." Harry replied.

"That's IT! If no one returns my fez within the next five minutes, you're all GROUNDED!" Percy demanded, looking around suspiciously at everyone in the room.

"I know!" George said, snapping his fingers and dashing up the stairs. He returned a moment later, smiling triumphantly and waving a bottle of a purplish liquid.

"Whuzzat?" Ami asked, looking at the liquid confusedly.

"Well, Fred and I were trying to make a potion to make anyone's wildest tropical dreams come true, but it didn't quite work. It just takes you out into the Egyptian desert for a while." George said, waving the bottle.

"Of course! That's where I got the fez!" Percy said, looking overwhelmingly happy.

"What do we have to do?" Eliza asked, eyeing the potion warily.

"Just take a sip each, and we'll be transported. There should be enough here for all of us. But someone has to stay here and watch the house while we're gone. Any volunteers?" Fred explained, looking around the room. No one stepped forward.

"How about Ginny? Hey, Gin, get down here!" Ami said, calling up the stairs to Ginny.

"Yes?" Ginny said, poking her head out of her doorway. She hurried down the stairs and looked at her brothers and their potion.

"What's that? Percy?" Ginny asked, pointing to the potion, and noticing Percy's over-cheerful face.

"Hey Ginny, how'd you like the house all to yourself for a day or two?" Ron said, looking at Ginny hopefully. Ginny looked suspiciously at her brothers' grinning faces, pondered for a moment, then nodded.

"Why?" Ginny asked, still wary.

"We have to go find Percy's fez, whatever that is." Ami replied. Ginny pondered some more, then answered.

"Okay, fine with me." Ginny said, nodding in agreement. Percy, overcome with the joy of being able to find his lost fez, hugged his little sister enthusiastically, and the others had to pry him off her before she suffocated.

"Can't....breathe...Percy...fez...." Ginny said, her voice raspy through lack of oxygen.

"Thanks Ginny! We'll be back in a day or so, and NO PARTIES!" Ami said, sounding strangely like someone's mother.

"Awwww..." Ginny and Bunny moaned.

George passed around the bottle of purple potion, and they each took a sip and passed it on.

"No one backwash!" Eliza ordered, taking the bottle from Draco.

"What's that?" Ron asked, looking at Eliza curiously.

"You don't want to know, Ron." Ami said, drinking from the small bottle.

A flash of violet light lit up the room spectacularly, engulfing all but Ginny and taking them away. Ami landed with a thump onto something soft. She sat up, and looked down to see what it was.

"Harry?" Ami said, getting up frantically, looking down at Harry's smiling face.

"Do you always have to land on me?" Harry laughed good-naturedly, brushing the sand off his robes.

"It's not like I do it on purpose," Ami said, thinking and smiling, "or do I?"

"Hey! Ami, Harry, over here!" Bunny called from a sand dune not far from the one they were standing on.

"Oh no, we've been discovered!" Ami said playfully, ducking on the ground and taking Harry with her. Ami giggled, then took Harry's hand and led him down the sand dune towards Bunny.

"Bunny, where are Eliza and everyone else?" Ami called, noticing that Bunny was alone on her dune.

"I don't know, I was hoping you would know." Bunny replied, shading her eyes from the harsh midday sun and looking around for any signs of life.

Not too far away, Eliza sat up, spitting sand out of her mouth and brushing it out of her yellow robes.

"Eliza! What lovely camouflage!" Fred called, running over to Eliza after searching for her for a few minutes.

"Where is everyone?" Eliza asked, hoping Fred had seen someone.

"Don't worry about it, Ami will find us somehow." Fred reassured her.

Sure enough, a voice echoed over the sand dunes quickly enough.

"EELLLLLIIIZZZAAAAA! FRRRREEEDDD! GEEOORRGEEE! DRAAACCO!" Ami's voice called over the vast distances of the apparently endless desert. Eliza grinned at Fred, and responded.

"OVER HERE!" Eliza returned the echo.

They eventually found each other, and once everyone was there and accounted for, they set off in search of Percy's fez. Percy bounced from dune to dune, singing something about his fez, doing a very loud, off-key duet with Bunny, who had found a pack of uneaten Skittles in her robes pocket (A/N-Yeah, that's likely. Bunny, forget about Skittles? Not possible, but just for now it is.) and was inhaling them by the handful.

"Will someone please take those away from her?" Eliza demanded, watching Bunny prance over the sand, hand in hand with Percy.

"I'll try." Draco said, running up to Bunny and trying to pry the Skittles out of her free hand. Bunny growled at him and held tight to the candy. Draco backed away slowly, somehow scared of the insane glare in Bunny's eyes. Bunny continued munching, or rather inhaling, her Skittles as they trudged along in the hot, mid-day sun.

"Hey Ami are we there yet?" Hermione whined, falling behind the group slightly, complaining of blisters.

"Stop whining, we're here!" Ami said, motioning out before her.

From their spectacular view on their particularly high sand dune, they saw a small shadow of a very small city.

"FEZ!! MY FEZ!" Percy yelped happily, running down the sand dune, nearly tripping over his own feet in the slippery sand. The others ran after him as quickly as they could, considering he had a huge head start on them.

"Hey, Percy! Get back here, you're taking my job! Damn Percy GET BACK HERE!" Bunny screamed after him, running after him.

"FEEEEEEZZZZZ!!!" Percy cried happily, bouncing down the main street of the town, scaring the small children and townspeople. "Wehehee my fez!!"

"PEEEERRCCCCYYY!!!!" the others yelled behind him, watching him bounce from street to street, Bunny in hot pursuit. They watched helplessly as Percy ran around the town square, scaring small children and snatching hats off peoples' heads. Percy put the hats all on his head, and soon had a towering stack of mens', ladies', and children's' hats on his head.

"Stop him! HE STOLE MY HAT!" one man yelled, chasing Percy, shaking his fist after him. Soon a huge mob was following Percy on his path of destruction, being led by Bunny.

"FEEEZZ! HEY WAIT A MINUTE! THIS ISN'T MY FEZ!!" Percy said, singing and plucking hats off his head one at a time to see if one of them was the one he was searching so desperately for. He threw them all back in the crowd, then skipped out of town.

"PERCY!!" Bunny screamed one last time, then threw herself at Percy, tackling him down into the soft, hot desert sand.

"Aww why'd you do that? I was finding my fez!" Percy whined, looking up at Bunny.

"Shut up about that damn fez already, we'll find it!" Bunny demanded.

"Fine." Percy said, his voice returning back to it's normal, matter-of-fact, strict tone. After Bunny got off him, he sat up, brushed the sand off his robes, and started walking in a straight line out into the desert.

After about two hours of walking, they saw something out on the horizon, and ran for it. They hadn't drank anything in hours and were parched when they noticed what it was.

"Ugh, who needs ruins? We need WATER! Most of all, SUGAR!" Bunny griped, squinting into the distance, just able to make out a huge pyramid on the skyline. Her Skittles had long since worn off, and she was getting very cranky.

They walked placidly up to the largest pyramid, Bunny swearing at their bad luck the entire way. When they finally reached the pyramid, Bunny strode up to it, shouted a few obscenities, and kicked it as hard as she could.

"Damn pyramid! Why couldn't you be an ice cream shop or something useful?!" Bunny shouted, kicking the pyramid repeatedly. A loud rumble sounded, and the brick Bunny had kicked caved in.

"Uh oh, now look what you've done! You've destroyed an ENTIRE PYRAMID!!" Eliza ranted, watching as more bricks moved inward.

"Well sor-ee! It's not like it was new or anything..." Bunny mumbled, looking at her feet.
When she looked up, her eyes went wide. "Lookie!"

Everyone glanced in amazement in the direction in which Bunny was pointing. A giant doorway had opened up on the side of the pyramid, revealing a dark, dank tunnel leading inward.

"Ooh, let's look in it!" Ami said, her curiosity getting the best of her.

"Let's not." Eliza squeaked, cowering behind Fred, not even wanting to imagine what might lie within. She had heard too many horror stories of mutant humans in pyramids to rush in quickly.

"C'mon Harry, you've defeated Voldemort so many times, a little pyramid should be a snap." Ami said, grabbing Harry's wrist and pulling him in after her. Ron and Hermione followed unwillingly, then Draco, Bunny, and Percy, and last came Eliza, Fred, and George.

"Eeeep!!" Ami yelped, jumping into Harry's arms after going about twenty feet down the tunnel. A giant pair of angry-looking eyes glared down at them from a huge statue.

"Relax, Ami. It's just a statue." Harry comforted, and Ami's breathing slowed down to it's normal rate.

"I knew that...I was just, um, testing your reflexes." Ami excused herself, remaining in Harry's arms comfortably. Harry grinned and looked down at her, then gazed back up at the statue. There was something familiar about those eyes..

"Great, now which way do we go?" Eliza said sarcastically, pointing out three tunnels splitting at the base of the statue, between the statue's feet.

"Feeezzzyyy, where are you feeezzzyy??" Percy called, bouncing down the center path.
Bunny rolled her eyes at him, but remained next to Draco. Ron, Fred, and George debated a few minutes on who would watch Percy, and eventually Ron gave up.

"Fine, we'll watch the stupid prat for now, but it's your turn next. Come on, Herm." Ron said, taking Hermione's hand in his and taking off down the center tunnel after Percy.

Harry and Ami headed down the tunnel to the right, and Bunny, Draco, Fred, George, and Eliza all headed off down the left tunnel, after Ami had convinced them that she and Harry would be perfectly fine on their own.

"Lumos." Ami muttered, pulling out her wand and lighting the dark path slightly.
Meanwhile, in the other two tunnels, Eliza, Hermione, and Bunny did the same, although Bunny almost blinded Draco when she lit hers right in his face.

Harry went ahead of Ami, clutching her hand behind his back. They poked around a bit, then reached the end of their tunnel. Ami screamed as loud as she could and tore off up the tunnel in fear. They had just come face-to-face with the biggest snakeskin they had ever laid eyes on (even Harry hadn't seen one that big before). It was thirty feet long if it was one inch, and a flaming red, almost the color of Ron's hair.

"Ami, Ami, there's no snake. It's just the skin." Harry said, catching Ami halfway up and trying to comfort her.

"No...no...snakes are my biggest, BIGGEST fear in the whole world, and wherever there's a snakeskin, there is a snake! There's no way in hell I'm going back down there!" Ami stuttered, her eyes wide as dinnerplates and her voice shaky with fear.

"I'll go and check, I promise I'll be back within five minutes, and if I'm not, go get Ron or someone, okay?" Harry said, turning around to head back down the tunnel.

"Harry! No!" Ami said, grabbing him back, "If you're going, I'm going."

"But.." Harry began, but was cut off by Ami's lips pressing firmly to his.

"I won't let you go alone." Ami insisted, pressing down the tunnel, growing shakier and more nervous with every step.

"FEEEZZZZYY!!" Percy cried giddily, running down the tunnel with his arms outstretched, like he would fly off at any given second.

"Percy GET BACK HERE!" Ron demanded, running after his brother with a look of utter disgust on his face.

Suddenly, Percy stopped dead in his tracks and shrieked happily.

"It's my bestest best dreams come true!! FEZ!!" Percy said, stepping forward into a room filled from stone floor to high ceiling with fezes of every size and shape.

"Umm...Bunny? Do you know where you're going?" Eliza asked from the back of the group, examining the stone tunnel as she passed through it.

"Of course, you DARE doubt the buffness?" Bunny said, turning around to glare at Eliza.

"Fine, fine, just don't smile at me like that." Eliza said, looking frightened under Bunny's threatening, insane grin.

"But me likes smiling like this!" Bunny protested, smiling even bigger (as if that was possible..).

"Umm..Bunny? What's that?" Ron stuttered, looking ahead into a large pair of eyes.

"Ami are you sure you want to go? You don't have to." Harry asked one last time, just before stepping into the chamber.

"Yes.. I'll make it." Ami reassured him, but it sounded as if she was reassuring herself as well.

Hand-in-hand they stepped into the chamber together. Ami was shaking like a leaf in a windstorm, but she held firm. Ami nearly screamed, but held back. There before them, was a giant snake, dozing lightly.

"How can we get rid of it? Who put it here?" Ami whispered, her voice barely audible, even to Harry.

"I don't know." Harry said, shaking his head and keeping his eyes on the sleeping serpent.

"FEEEZZZZ!!" Percy cried happily, stacking fezes on his head and prancing around the room. Hermione and Ron watched in amazement as the once-solemn and strict Percy acted frighteningly like Bunny.

"Bunny, where are we?!" Eliza demanded, walking down the dimly-lit tunnel.

"Don't doubt me. Look!" Bunny said, spinning around to face Eliza, then turning back around, peering into a large chamber just before them.


Ooh, what can happen now? Will Ami and Harry conquer the huge snake? What will Bunny, Eliza, Draco, and the Weasley twins find at the end of their tunnel? How will Ron and Hermione drag Percy out of the fez room? Will Percy ever find his stupid fez? All these questions and more will be answered in the next thrilling installments of... ::drumroll:: The Mystery of the Missing Fez! Oh and please R/R, if I get enough (preferably 10 or more, I have low expectations I guess..) reviews I'll put up the second part really soon.. Later!

Ami~^ ~do you like my monkey tail? Sorry, I'm just easily amused...