Title: The Forest of Nevermore
Author: Heartwings PG13
Length: 5148 words
Genre: Star Trek Voyager - J/C
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount. They're finished with them, I'm not.
Synopsis: (This story was written for the JC Fic Haven Die Die contest where the writer could chose a character to kill off, with the exception of Janeway and Chakotay of course.)
Janeway and Chakotay plan a romantic getaway in the holodeck, however Naomi Wildman, Flotter and Trevis ruin their plans. One of them lives to tell.
THE FOREST OF NEVERMORE
Kathryn and Chakotay walked through Voyager's corridors quickly as Chakotay spoke, "Kathryn, just wait until you see this holo program that I ran across, oh, you're just going to love it! It's so much like Earth and so wonderfully peaceful and quiet, just wait and see, I know it will become your new favorite."
"I hope so, I've had such a bad week I really need to get away for awhile. I'm mad at half the crew and nothing has gone right today, nothing! It's been one problem after another and I have a raging headache on top of it all."
He looked at her with a warm smile as he put his hand on the small of her back, "Don't worry, Kathryn, you'll feel better in no time, I guarantee it."
Chakotay initiated the program and they stepped into the holodeck and were met with a gentle warm breeze and the sound of a nearby waterfall. They held hands as they walked along a beautiful little creek. Almost every plant along the path bore flowers, extraordinary flowers similar to ones on Earth, but much larger and more fragrant. Chakotay picked an intricate lacy pink flower and held it up for Kathryn to inhale its captivating scent. It brought a smile to her face as she took it from his hands and kissed him gently on the lips.
"Here, let me Kathryn, turn around." She did and he placed the flower into her hair so that it accented her loose chignon. He slipped his arms around her shoulders and inhaled the fragrance of the flower before leaning down to kiss the nape of her neck. Kathryn leaned into him and sighed softly as she wrapped her arms around his and spoke, "You're right, Chakotay, this is wonderful, I feel better already." She turned in his arms and wrapped hers around his neck. He kissed her tenderly as he gathered her into his embrace. Kathryn stared into Chakotay's eyes for a moment before her lips returned to his and they blended into an ever deepening and passionate kiss. Kathryn felt something touch her sleeve and broke the kiss to look down.
"Hello, Captain!" Naomi Wildman's cute little freckled face looked up at Kathryn's. "Were you and Uncle Chakotay kissing?" Naomi giggled and made kissy faces.
They were startled and immediately broke the embrace and stood a respectable distance apart as they had chosen to keep their romantic relationship private from the crew. Kathryn looked at Chakotay with panic in her eyes and then composed herself and smiled down at the little girl. "No, Naomi, of course not! What are you doing here?" She turned to Chakotay and mouthed, "Didn't you engage the privacy lock?" He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head in a guess not gesture.
Naomi started to pick some flowers as she chattered, "While Mommy's away Neelix has been looking after me, but he's sick today and the doctor said he has to stay in bed, so he told me to go and find you and you would play with me. I'm really bored, but I know you know something fun to do and you were so kissing Uncle Chakotay, weren't you?"
Kathryn bent down to child level, "No, Dear, we weren't kissing, maybe you thought that's what it looked like, but you're mistaken. Well, what would you like to do, Naomi?"
Chakotay handed Naomi some more flowers for her bouquet as he suggested, "The captain and I were just about to take a walk and go see the waterfall, would you like to do that?"
"Naw, I've seen waterfalls before, they're boring. Uncle Chakotay, if you weren't kissing Captain Janeway, what were you doing to her? You two are in love aren't you? I know you are! Are you going to have a baby so I have someone to play with?"
Chakotay was taken totally aback with Naomi's questions and just stood there with his mouth open. Kathryn stepped forward to, hopefully, dodge the inquisitive child's questions. "Sweetie, Uncle Chakotay and I are just best friends… friends like you and Neelix are, that all. He was just… um… looking at my tonsils, that's all, I have a little bit of a sore throat. Would you like to go down by the water and try to catch some frogs?
"No, I don't like frogs. Where are the characters, aren't there any characters in this program?"
"No, Honey," Chakotay replied, "this program is one where you just enjoy nature and relax."
"That's boring! Can I pick a new program? Please?"
He looked at Kathryn, who held her hands up in defeat. He sighed at losing this rare opportunity to spend some private time with Kathryn and conceded, "Sure, Naomi, run whatever you want."
"Computer, run Naomi Wildman program beta five." Chakotay's beautiful program shimmered out of existence and they found themselves in the Forest of Forever. "This one is much better! Captain, you like Flotter and Trevis, don't you?"
"Well, I used to like them when I was little, but they're not exactly my favorites anymore. Why don't you stay here and play with them and Uncle Chakotay and I will go back to the bridge, we have a lot of work to do."
"Mommy said I can't be in the holodeck alone, I have to have a grown up with me."
"Is that so? Well, we'll stay for just a little while, OK? Why don't you go and see if you can find Flotter and Trevis and we'll wait right here for you."
"OK!" Naomi exclaimed as she skipped off into the forest.
Kathryn rubbed at her temple, her headache was back. "Oh, Chakotay, I was so looking forward to spending some time with you. I absolutely hate Flotter and Trevis, I'd rather listen to one of Tuvok's poetry readings than to them, but I know Naomi is lonesome with her mother gone, so I guess we should stay so she can play?"
Chakotay put his arm around her shoulder. "Kathryn, if you don't feel well, why don't you go lie down and I'll stay and take care of Naomi? I can't stand Flotter and Trevis either, but I suppose I can deal with them for an hour or so."
"Oh, would you? Thank you so much, I'll stop by sickbay for something and then go to my quarters and lie down and maybe I'll feel better and we can take up where we left off after dinner and," she grinned mischievously, "maybe you can finish checking out my tonsils?" Careful to make sure Naomi wasn't around, she kissed Chakotay on the cheek and called for the exit, but the computer informed her that it was unable to comply. She tried again with the same result and then tapped her comm badge to call B'Elanna and report the problem.
"Sorry, Captain," B'Elanna replied, "I'm aware of it and I'm at the control panel right now, but it seems someone left an ice cream cone on it and it melted and shorted it out, I'll have to pull the whole panel out and take it down to Engineering to fix it. Right now the doors can't be accessed nor the programs shut down, but I'll get right on it, so just sit back end enjoy the program, Ma'am, and I'll let you know as soon as it's fixed. I'd transport you out, but I'm sure you know we took them offline for recalibration this morning."
"Very well, B'Elanna, but please hurry, we're trapped in the Forest of Forever with Naomi!"
"Naomi? That probably explains the ice cream cone. I'll get you out as fast as I can, Captain, I can only stand that program if I have a bat'leth with me. If Trevis annoys you too much or gets funky with his branches, just call for Sir Munchalot, Ma'am. Torres out."
Kathryn sighed and sat down on a pile of dry leaves that looked soft, but quickly jumped up and brushed at a mass of sticky blue pellets on the back of her uniform. She sniffed it and it smelled awful, so she grabbed a fern to wipe it off. "Ew, what is this, did I sit on a dead tube grub or something?"
Chakotay used a stick to move away the leaves where Kathryn had been sitting. He wrinkled his nose as he threw the stick into the woods. "Kathryn, either someone left a lot of Viagra here or you just sat in a pile of Flotter's…."
"Oh, Chakotay, don't even say it! Grab something and help me clean this off, it's all over my backside.
Chakotay grabbed a fern and tried to help wipe the mess off, but it was only serving to smear it around even more. Finally he tossed the fern aside and suggested, "Kathryn, why don't you go behind that bush and take your pants off and hand them to me and I'll wash out that mess in the pond?"
"Alright, but hurry up! Here." Kathryn handed Chakotay her pants and he took them down to the pond and used a flat sharp stone to try to clean them off in the water. She nervously waited behind the bush as she watched, "Hurry up , Chakotay!"
"I'm working as fast as I can, Kathryn, it's sticky and doesn't want to come off. Oh, no!" Chakotay exclaimed as a pair of blue hands came up from the water and grabbed the pants. Chakotay braced himself against the edge of the pond and pulled back harder, but the hands were stronger than he was and soon he was knee deep in the pond, fighting for the pants with all his might. "Oh no you don't, give me those!" As he braced to throw all his weight into it, he lost his grip and fell face first into the pond as the pants disappeared beneath the surface, leaving only a trail of musical blue bubbles.
When he climbed out he was covered in a slimy black ooze that smelled even worse than it looked. Kathryn peeked out from behind her bush as she asked, "Oh no, Chakotay, what am I going to do now?" She fanned her face as she advised, "I think that was the Pond of Eternal Stench that you fell into, you smell awful!
They argued over the bush as she wanted him to dive into the pond after her pants and he was not about to get anywhere near the Pond of Eternal Stench again. As she raised her voice and got more adamant, she felt a tug on her sleeve.
"Hey, Captain Janeway, how come you're not wearing any pants?"
Startled, she spun around to face Naomi. "Well, Sweetheart, it seems I sat in some… something messy and got my pants all dirty, so Uncle Chakotay took them to the pond to wash them off. Flotter grabbed them and took them away from him, do you think you could ask Flotter for my pants back, please?"
Naomi considered the question as Flotter emerged from the water, holding up her pants. "Looking for these?"
Kathryn lunged to grab them, but thought better of it and ducked back behind the bush. "Give me those!"
Flotter retreated back into the water a bit for safety as he waved the pants at her. "Well, well, well, if it isn't little Katie Janeway! I haven't seen you in a long time." Flotter tapped his chin with the tip of his index finger as he thought. "Let me see, Katie Janeway, aren't you that nasty little redhead girl that flooded the Forest of Forever and turned it into a giant swamp? I wasn't too happy about that you know!" He eyed Chakotay suspiciously, "I don't know you, but you look a lot like Trevis, are you related?"
"No, Flotter," Naomi replied, "that's Uncle Chakotay, he's Aunt Katie's boyfriend, they were kissing, I saw them!"
"No we weren't, Dear! Flotter, please, may I have my pants back? I'm sorry about turning the Forest of Forever into a giant swamp, but I was only six years old, so maybe you can forgive me… and give me back my pants?"
"Oh little Katie, you're forgetting that this is the Forest of Forever and when you cheese off Flotter, well it's forever!" Flotter and the pants dove beneath the surface of the pond and disappeared.
"Well, this is a fine mess," Kathryn sighed. "now I get to spend my afternoon hiding behind a bush!"
Naomi took her hand and tried to drag her out. "It's OK, Captain, it's warm here, you don't need any pants. Besides, your underpants are really pretty, but Mommy says I'm too young to wear black lace yet."
"Black lace?" Chakotay's eyes lit up.
Kathryn shot him a look of warning. "Naomi, grown ups don't walk around without pants on, so I'll just stay here and wait until you and Uncle Chakotay are done playing, OK? And if you see Flotter, could you please ask him for my pants back?"
"OK, but I don't think he'll give them back to you, he really hates you, and besides, he said you look really hot, so he's probably just trying to make sure you're comfortable."
Kathryn sighed and sank to ground behind her bush, careful this time to look where she sat. Chakotay walked up to the bush and tossed his jacket over. "Here, Kathryn, maybe you can put it around your waist like a skirt? There's no sense in you having to hide behind a bush all afternoon."
"Thanks." She put the jacket around her, zipped it part way up and tied the sleeves around her waist as a belt. It didn't look too good, but it covered up the essentials. She stepped out from behind the bush and Chakotay looked at her and grinned. "Not a word, Chakotay, and could you please stay downwind, that eternal stench really is quite pungent."
"Yeah, you stink, Uncle Chakotay!" said Naomi. She grabbed Kathryn's hand and tugged her down the path, "C'mon lets go have a tea party with Trevis!" They walked down the winding path, past the giant beetle's castle, and arrived at a tea table set up beneath Trevis' wide canopy of branches. "Hello, Trevis, I brought my friends Aunt Katie and Uncle Chakotay for tea! They're in love, I saw them kissing!"
Trevis' branches danced in the air as he replied, "Hello, Naomi, it's good to see you again, my friend!" He extended a branch to pat Naomi on the head. "You!" he shouted as he looked at Kathryn, "You're that nasty little girl from Indiana that flooded the forest and turned it into a giant swamp, aren't you?"
"Oh, no, Trevis, that wasn't me, it was my sister Phoebe."
"Balderbabble! It was you, you're little Katie Janeway, I never forget a face. Your sister was the sweet one, she brushed my bark for me and hugged my trunk, but YOU, you started forest fires all the time, unleashed plagues of locust and it was YOU that flooded the whole forest and gave me a root fungus that I haven't been able to get rid of yet!"
"Well, I was only six years old and I am sorry." Naomi presented Kathryn with a cup of tea. "Say, Trevis, you wouldn't have any coffee, would you? I could really use a cup." Trevis roared as he extended a branch, wrapped it around Kathryn and drew her up into his canopy. He tossed her from branch to branch as he laughed so hard the entire forest shook. "I'll take that as a no. Ouch, please put me down… and watch where you put your branches!" Trevis continued to toss and grope poor Kathryn until Naomi finally intervened.
"Trevis, please put Captain Janeway down, she's my friend."
Trevis deposited Kathryn into her chair with a hard thump. She adjusted her clothes and tried to untangle her hair to pull herself back together. Kathryn was madder than a short changed Ferengi and her patience with Trevis had just come to an end. "Computer, replicate chain saw!"
Unable to comply, that is not an available option in this program
"Argh!" Kathryn shouted as Chakotay helped her to pick leaves from her hair. "Naomi, Sweetie, why don't you go over to the giant beetle's castle and see if he has any cookies we can have for our tea party?" The child nodded and happily skipped off in search of cookies.
"A chain saw?" Trevis roared, "You're still a nasty little brat Katie Janeway, and just for that, here!" Trevis rained down sticky smelly sap all over Kathryn and Chakotay.
They tried to scrape the sap off as Kathryn remembered B'Elanna's advice. "Computer, add character Sir Munchalot." The giant termite in shining armor appeared and flapped his wings as he smiled and winked his giant black eyes at Kathryn. "Hello Munchalot, good to see you. Are you hungry?" He enthusiastically nodded his head as the plume on his helmet danced in the breeze. Kathryn smiled as she pointed at Trevis, "Well there you go, dinner is on me!"
Trevis tried to escape, but Sir Munchalot could fly faster than Trevis could run, and the giant termite overcame him and feasted royally. Soon all that remained of the once tall and mighty Trevis was a giant pile of sawdust. Sir Munchalot smiled, belched loudly and flew away.
"Good one, Kathryn!" Chakotay exclaimed as he tried to scrape the sap from his hair. That'll teach that obnoxious oak not to mess with you again! Hi, Naomi, did you get any cookies?"
"Nope, but he had pretzels." She dumped the bag on the tea table. "Where's Trevis?" she asked while looking around.
Kathryn smiled as she ate a pretzel. "Well, Sweetie, Trevis had to go away, he had to uh… he had to go be a house so the Keebler elves would have a place to bake cookies! Cookies are much better than pretzels, right?" Naomi nodded, then rose from the table to go inspect the pile of sawdust left over after Sir Munchalot's feast.
"What's this?, It looks like sawdust! Trevis didn't die did he?" Tears began to stream down Naomi's cute little face.
Kathryn rushed over to comfort her, "Of course not, Naomi! Elves bake cookies in hollow trees, everyone knows that, so that's where Trevis went, he's helping the elves. That's um… sand, Trevis left a giant sand pile for you to play in. Why don't you make a sand castle and Chakotay and I will go down to the lagoon and wash this sap off. Would that be OK, Sweetheart?"
"Sure!" Naomi exclaimed as she started to build her castle, "and that doesn't smell like sap, sap smells sweet, I think Trevis peed on you."
"Ahem! Well, Uncle Chakotay and I will be right down by the lagoon if you need us. Oh, and if you happen to see Flotter, please ask for my pants back."
Kathryn and Chakotay walked down to the water and waded in to wash up. Trevis' "sap" was indeed very sticky and Chakotay had a layer of mud from his dip in the Pond of Eternal Stench under his coating of sap. The water in the lagoon was warm and fragrant and quickly washed away all the mess. As they dove under the surface to wash out their hair, they noticed that the lagoon was shallow and had many interesting treasures on the bottom. With Naomi safely building a sand castle nearby, they decided to put their time to good use and repeatedly dove under to explore the bottom.
"Hey, Kathryn, have you ever kissed underwater?"
"Shhhh! Naomi will hear us. No, I haven't. Have you?"
"Nope, wanna try?"
Kathryn looked up to the shore to be sure Naomi was still busy and she and Chakotay put their arms around one another and slipped beneath the surface.
"Wow, that was great, Kathryn! Want to do it again?"
She nodded and they submerged for even longer the second time. As they came up for air Kathryn picked a piece of seaweed from Chakotay's hair and gazed lovingly into his eyes. "Chakotay, that really was amazing." He smiled back at her as he stole another kiss. "Um… Chakotay, watch where you put your hands, let's not take this too far."
"Kathryn, my hands are right here on your back, see? " He patted her to prove his innocence.
"Then, if you're not touching me…. Argh! Flotter, how dare you?"
Flotter popped up from the lagoon with a lascivious grin on his face. "Naughty girl, Katie, I saw what you two were doing under the water. Tsk tsk!" Kathryn spied her pants in Flotter's hand and dove for them, but came up gasping and empty handed. "Give up, Katie, you'll never defeat me in my own element."
"I have had about enough! Give me back my pants back, you little blue bastard!" Kathryn and Chakotay dove and swam and thrashed around in the water after her pants, but Flotter had the upper hand and just toyed with them. She made one last desperate lunge, but Flotter grabbed her foot and dragged her under. She surfaced, choking and gasping for breath. As she floated on her back, treading water to rest, she stuck her left foot up out of the water and wiggled her toes. "Dammit, Chakotay, he got my left boot and sock!"
Chakotay swam over to her and kissed her toes. "Oh, Kathryn, you have red toenails, how sexy, I never knew! C'mon, lets get out of the water before we're both naked. He does have a point, we'll never be able to defeat him in his own element."
They swam to where they could touch the bottom and began walking to shore. "Ouch!" Kathryn screamed, "I stepped on something sharp." Reaching down into the water, she pulled up what looked like a large pineapple. She looked it over and handed it to Chakotay. "I'm hungry, maybe we can eat it?"
They walked back to the tea table together, with just one boot Kathryn now had one leg three inches shorter than the other and had a decidedly lopsided clump to her stride. Naomi was still busily working on her sand castle, so they sat and drank some tea. With Trevis gone, the tea table was now in the sun, enabling their soggy clothes to dry out quickly.
"Well, Chakotay, what else could go wrong today? Our romantic little afternoon was ruined, and we've been forced to spend it trapped in the Forest of Hell with a child who will no doubt tell everyone she saw us kissing and me running around in my underwear. So much for our privacy and my reputation!"
"Well, Kathryn, they would have figured it out sooner or later I'm sure, they didn't get into Starfleet because they were stupid. Hand me that knife and I'll slice this pineapple thing open and let's see if it tastes good." Chakotay hacked at the pineapple, but the hide was tough and it took him a good while to slice it open. As he finally pulled it apart slightly he lamented, "Shoot, it's hollow inside, I don't think it's any good. I'll go take it to Naomi and check on her, it might make a good tower for her sand castle and I'll look around and see if I can find any fruit trees, I'm pretty hungry too."
"No, Chakotay! Don't go near any trees!"
He kissed her on the cheek, "OK, Kathryn, you have a point, I won't, I promise!"
Kathryn munched on pretzels as she leaned back and soaked in the warm sunshine. She adjusted her clothing, noting that it was already almost dry. As Chakotay returned, his hand on her shoulder surprised her and she realized she had almost fallen asleep in the short time he was gone.
Chakotay fluffed up her hair and combed through it with his fingers to help it dry and kissed the nape of her neck as he began massaging her shoulders. "Kathryn, Naomi is asleep, poor little thing must have been so tired she's curled up right beside her sand castle. I put the pineapple on top, it was the perfect finishing touch. You should see her castle, we may have a future architect on our hands. If you're tired, let's curl up on that soft moss over there and take a nap. I'm kinda tired too and I would certainly enjoy cuddling up with you for a few minutes."
"OK, but please be sure to check the moss first, I don't want to sit in anything else, we're running low on pants," Kathryn grinned. Chakotay checked the moss thoroughly and they curled up together, with sweet dreams replacing the nightmare their afternoon in the holodeck had been so far.
Kathryn began to stir within Chakotay's warm and safe embrace. "Chakotay, wake up, it's raining." He moaned and wrapped his arms around her tighter. "Wake up, it's raining, Naomi will get wet!"
"What?" Chakotay startled and opened his eyes to the downpour. He sat up and looked around, "Kathryn, it's only raining over us, it's not raining where Naomi is at all." They looked up to see Flotter floating above them, wringing out Kathryn's pants to cause the downpour. They huddled together and it continued, growing even stronger, so they tried moving away, but Flotter followed them wherever they went.
"Talk about the proverbial black cloud following you everywhere you go!" Kathryn said as she tried to pull her jacket over her head to shield herself from the rain. Soaked to the skin, she finally gave up and just sat there, huddling with Chakotay in the ever deepening mud. "Well, what do we do, just sit here until B'Elanna gets the holodeck fixed? Oh, I wish I had a phaser with me, I'd vaporize that little waterlogged pants-napper right now!"
As Flotter hovered closer to them, Kathryn jumped up and lunged at her pants. Her remaining boot was firmly ensconced in the mud, so her maneuver only served to throw her face down into the mud as she slid out of her boot. She pulled herself up, grabbed her soggy jacket and threw it at Flotter in a last act of desperation. "Look, I said I was sorry, what more can I do?" Kathryn sank back down into the mud and started to cry.
Chakotay pulled her to him and she put her head on his shoulder and continued to sob. He pulled her boot from the mud and launched it at Flotter, then held Kathryn tightly, trying to shield her from the rain. Flotter easily dodged the boot and laughed as he caused it to rain down even harder.
The commotion awoke Naomi and she walked over and looked at Kathryn and Chakotay and giggled a bit before saying, "Flotter, that isn't really very nice, you're getting them all wet and muddy! Captain Janeway said she was sorry for flooding the forest, can't you forgive her?"
"NO!" roared Flotter, "Katie was a very wicked child, she spent all her time thinking up ways to ruin the forest, she deserves to be punished!"
Naomi defiantly put her hands on her hips, walked as close to the downpour as she could without getting wet and shouted up at Flotter, "Flotter, Mommy says when somebody makes a mistake and says they're sorry, you should forgive them. I'm sure Aunt Katie didn't mean to do it and she was only six years old, sheesh!, that was like more than fifty years ago!"
"Not quite that long, Dear!" Janeway piped up as she jumped up and made another lunge for her pants. This time she managed to grab a leg and dangled in mid air as Flotter moved up and down, shaking the pants until Kathryn finally dropped off and landed rather unceremoniously on her duff, in the mud.
Naomi ran into the downpour, helped Kathryn to her feet and hugged her. "Flotter, you're being really mean, quit it!" Flotter just laughed and caused it to rain even harder. Naomi balled up her fists as her face got red with anger and tears started to roll down her rain soaked face. Her grimace turned to a smile as she got an idea and ran off towards her sand castle shouting, "I know, I'll get help!"
Naomi returned with the pineapple from the top of her sand castle and handed it to Chakotay. "Here, Uncle Chakotay, open it." He didn't really see the point, but he did as Naomi asked, figuring it wouldn't hurt to play along and that it might help to make Naomi feel better and, if nothing else, it gave him something else he could throw at Flotter.
As Chakotay pulled open the pineapple, a yellow blur emerged and created a whirlwind around them. It startled him and he dropped the pineapple and tightly embraced Kathryn and Naomi to protect them. The wind roared and the rain beat down from every direction as the three huddled together, convinced they must be inside of a cyclone. As Chakotay thought he couldn't hold on to them tight enough and they would be swept away, the wind and rain suddenly stopped and they found themselves again standing in the sunshine on dry ground.
Naomi stepped away and twirled around in circles, laughing as she spun. "We're safe now, my friend saved us, he sucked up that nasty Flotter and all his evil water!" Naomi took her little friend's hand and led him to Janeway and Chakotay as she introduced them, "These are my friends Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay," she paused as she giggled again, "they're in love!"
Kathryn bent down and shook his little hand. "Thank you so much for saving us, that was very kind of you. What's you name, little fella?"
His bright blue eyes sparkled in the sunshine as he spoke, "I'm SpongeBob SquarePants, nice to meet you CaptainJaneway NoPants. I'm sorry Flotter was so mean to you, why don't you and your friends come to my lagoon and I'll get you cleaned up and then I'll take you the Krusty Krab and buy you a cup of coffee."
Kathryn smiled broadly as she took SpongeBob's hand, "You know, Bob, I like you already!"
THE END