Title: Everything's Not Lost

Summary: Slightly AU. Lucas knew exactly what he would lose once he step foot out that door, but maybe he didn't care or maybe he was just running scared; Peyton didn't know. Now four years after high school the group gathers together for a reunion and the girl he left behind comes back showing him the life he could have had. In the end will he want it? Peyton/Lucas POV

A/N: Some points you should know. There was never a Peyton/Julian relationship or Lucas/Lindsay relationship; Lindsay still helped Lucas publish his book nothing else. This will be formatted in Lucas and Peyton point of views. He never proposed so he never left her in the hotel room, but he still left her nonetheless (Reason will be obvious in Lucas' POV and if I'm a good enough writer than you shouldn't be able to get it in Peyton's first POV, but my smart readers aka you guys are really awesomely intelligent who knows.) By far the longest one shot I've ever written.

Peyton's POV

It feels like forever and a minute since this plane took off from Los Angeles and now it's heading towards my hometown of Tree Hill. How on earth did I let Brooke talk me into this? I could have just said that I wasn't interested that I had better things to do then rehash the past with the people I left behind. It's not like I don't keep in touch because I do. A nightly chat with Brooke over the phone and weekly webcam visits with the Naley brood. They help keep me grounded even if there thousands of miles away.

"We'll be landing at Tree Hill Terminal in about ten minutes."

I can hear the voice of the pilot over the intercom while the light flashes to put your seatbelts on and everyone does the sounds of the belts clicking closed make my hands sweat and I start to feel extremely nervous. Why did I come? I shouldn't have come back. All it took was one phone call from my best friend reminding me of the promise we made on some basketball court four years ago almost to the date plus two days.

I heard the phone ringing, but I couldn't seem to find the cordless phone that was hidden beneath the pillows that were thrown carelessly on the ground. The rings got louder with every pillow that I removed from the pile and threw them back onto the couch the black cordless was now in view. Clicking the 'talk' button I quickly mumbled a 'hello' to the person on the other line seeing as I had forgotten to check the caller ID so there was really nothing else I could say.

"Hey you're messing up our fort!"

"Who is that?"

One exclamation and one question thrown together with the continuing scream of a mad kid could make my head spin around just like in The Exorcist and say something I probably shouldn't say to the five year old child, but I didn't the raspy voice is keeping me in check all the while I tell the little girl to go play somewhere else.

"That was Rory. Remember the neighbor I was telling you about who had this huge addiction to Gilmore Girls back in the day and she just had to name her daughter after one of the main characters?"

I already know what she was going to say. She is my best friend after all and in high school she would always ask me the same question every Wednesday morning 'Did you watch Gilmore Girls last night?' and my answer would always be the same 'Hell no. What do I look like?' It used to be one of her favorite television shows and she goes on about the show and her favorite Gilmore-isms whatever that is, but I'm not paying too much attention the noise in the kitchen catches my ears and I told Brooke to hold up for a second and I brought the phone to my chest not wanting to hurt her ears as I yelled.

"You better not be making a mess in there!" The kid didn't seem to stop with the slamming of the cabinets open and close. "Or else!"

I used extra assertiveness in my weak attempt to sound like an authority figure, but it worked and I smile winning at least one battle. My eyes caught the clock and I sigh heavily only two more hours till her mother picks her up.

"Wait. Hold on." Brooke said while I brought the phone back up to my ear. "Is that that little brat that you took care of last time?" I nod even though she can't see it and it's like she knows me so well because she starts to rant off her harmless threat. It's only harmless because she's across the country. "If that little monster so much as gets her greasy little hands on my precious, precious-"

"Brooke that was the other neighbor kid and it was a boy."

I quickly cut her off not wanting any words that would be inappropriate for virgin ears as the phone is now on speaker as I start making lunch, well okay more like opened the phone book and look up what sounds good and if they deliver.

"What are you P. Sawyer a frigging daycare center now?"

"Ha. Ha. Very funny." I laughed sarcastically. "Just get to the point on why your calling seeing as our usual chat schedule isn't till eight thirty."

"Right. So remember, oh say, about four years ago when we all promised to go back for a reunion?"

I don't know why, but as the words left her mouth I cringe in my seat. Reunion in Tree Hill would absolutely be murder. And no I'm not being a drama queen. Too much as happened and I'm not that carefree teenager I once was. And okay before you say it I know I wasn't carefree, but things change okay? I start to refuse, but Brooke being well Brooke she won't leave well enough alone.

"You have to go. I can't be the only one going back. No one else has moved away from home." Yeah she would still call that place home. "Except for me and you. Plus we spray painted our names on the Rivercourt which is practically signing our name in blood to the devil." She laughed because that's what she likes to call light humor. "Please, P. I really need you there by my side."

So here I am right now about to set my feet on the ground to the place where I grew up. The doors open and the crisp late evening's breeze makes things feel like home again. It has to be something in the air that makes Tree Hill the way it is. I don't think I've noticed it before, but it smells so much cleaner here than it does in Los Angeles. Maybe it's because there isn't about a million cars driving through the streets the smog making it unhealthy for everyone. I check from left to right and make sure I have everything I need everything that is my life and when I do I take make first step outside.

First destination is at the hotel where I made reservations. A much needed shower and bath is what helps calm my nerves. I'm jumpy and it's noticed easily. By the time dresses are worn and taken off needing to find the perfect ones I look out the window where there's a perfect view off the whole city and it's dark outside; thankfully the news had been on and the information had helped in deciding what to wear as it would be a perfect warm summer night in Tree Hill. Then I see him, my old friend Mouth he's talking about some college basketball game and I don't change the channel because it's good to hear his voice. His segments over and that's when it's time to go. The moon is in a large crescent shape almost half full and there are a billion and more stars twinkling making the black sky lighten. I would have loved to take a stroll down to the Rivercourt, but I was afraid that tiredness would overcome during the walk so calling a cab would have been the best outcome.

"Where to?"

The balding cabbie asks me and I tell him the address with much hesitation and he starts to drive off. I glance out the window looking at the view through the glass. So much has changed and yet in some places it looks the same. Old buildings and cracked sidewalks let me know that we're almost to the destination. I hum an old song that my father would sing to me when I was little and scared the rhythm only growing louder while the ferryboat passes by and the yellow cab stops. Stepping out of the yellow car, obvious much, I pay the cab driver and steps were taken forward to the blacktop; slow and small steps. I'm not noticed and I'm thankful needing the time to think and process everything.

And it looks like everyone is already here; Nathan's arm is around Haley's waist and her hand is placed upon Jamie's shoulder as they stand together, Skillz is next in the large circle and he looks the same since I've last seen him four years ago along with Mouth who grew out his hair, Junk, and Fergie. Brooke Davis is next and even though she came for a visit last month it has been way to long since I've seen my closest confidant. I'm trying my best not to look at Lucas who would be standing in the center of it all his back turned towards me saying something I can barely hear as he causes our group of friends to cheer and even little Jamie who's a grown four year old can't stifle his childish giggle.

"Sawyer, is that really you?"

I heard Nathan call out and that's when I realize that not only was I not invisible anymore, but that everyone is looking in my general direction including the intense blue eyes that I'm forcing myself to ignore. I'm surprised with myself because I'm actually smiling; smiling and being here that has to be some kind of break through, right? And so begins the ritual of reunions and the main one is to be bombarded with hugs.

"Oh my gosh, you're really back. It's so good to see you!" Haley hugs me.

"You've been missed Sawyer. By everyone especially me!" I swear Nathan hasn't been able to say my first name in so long that I automatically respond to my second name, well only when he says it.

"P. Sawyer. " It's Skillz who calls my name and pushes Nathan off of me trying to get his own hug in. "Get your boney a-" He receives a stern look from both me and Haley. "Butt over here."

"P. Sawyer!" Now I can recognize that raspy voice anywhere. "You came! I'm so glad."

She shoves Skillz away and her arms wrap around me tightly, as if we haven't seen each other in an eternity. I tell her I need to breath and she pulls apart smiling her deep dimpled smile. So are you ready for this because I sure as hell am not. It starts to get awkward because I don't know what to do next. Do I hug the guy who abandoned the girl he swore to love forever? Do I completely ignore him and pretend he never existed? And don't say 'let bygones be bygones' because it's not like he took away my favorite candy and then lied about it. It's much worse, if infinity was a number it would be that worse.

"Hi, Peyton."

I hear him say and for the first time I turn to look at him. Then I automatically curse myself because the first thought that popped in my head was 'Damn he looks good.' Instead of it being 'Stupid bastard'. Then I smile, seriously what the heck is wrong with me? He's making me feel like a high school girl again.

And he finally looks away from me, thank the man up above for that, and I can't help myself as he stares at something at the ground and my eyes follow his. An orange ball rolls out onto the court.

Lucas' POV

I'm standing in the middle of Haley's kitchen and she's babbling on and on about some kind of reunion where the whole group can have a night of fun. She's obviously been planning this for a couple months now.

"But Hales we already do that at least every other week. Remember game night?"

I notice as she rolls her eyes at me, but the smile on her face tells me a whole other story as she pops a purple grape into her mouth. Grabbing a water bottle out of the fridge I pop off the cap and take a drink and as I'm chugging down the cold drink I notice her guilty expression. She defiantly had something in mind.

"I meant with Brooke-" Ah, Brooke I've tried calling her numerous of times over the years, but she refuses to take any of my calls, memos, text messages, voicemails, and anything else that has to do with me. But of course she's spoken to Haley and Nathan every weekend, but I don't envy that because she is the godmother to their child. "And Peyton."

The mere mention of her name causes a shiver to run down my spine as I let my water bottle slip from my hands and it splatters across the countertop. Everyone usually keeps her name out of earshot when I'm around. They never mention what she's been up to or how she's doing and it's not because I asked them not to its more like because they refuse to let me have any kind of information about her life even though I've asked more times than I can count in a day.

"So…P…Peyt…Peyton's coming?"

I can't even say her name without stuttering. Haley's mentioned that I'm a guy in love, but she never lets me forget that I'm still a stupid guy nonetheless. It's been three years since I've seen or talked to her. We dated for more than two years and yet I've been without her for about three so tell me how am I even still in love with her when we've been apart longer than we've been together. Skillz tells me that it's because she's my soul's mate. She's my other half. She's my everything.

"I think so. Brooke's still trying to convince her to come."

If anyone can do it Brooke can; even if Peyton comes kicking and screaming. I ask Haley when exactly this reunion is suppose to take place and she tells me this Saturday night. Two days and I'll get to see Peyton Sawyer. What do I say to her? Things have been running through my mind nonstop since the day I walked away. Way to prove her theory right. And maybe it was a stupid one, but I was now added to the long list of 'people always leave'. Haley was on it too, but she was the exceptional one that got added to her short one person list of 'and sometimes they come back'.

The two days pass faster than anything that I've ever imagined. I swear when I went to bed last night it was still the sixteenth of June. I look at the calendar for about ten minutes and it's like it's laughing in my face as I tear of Friday and see Saturday June 18 staring back at me. In less than twelve hours I'm going to come face to face with the woman I let slip from my fingertips.

And before you know it my phone beeps with a message. I quickly check my missed calls and sure and behold it says N. Scott Residents on the screen. I dial my voicemail and enter my password, the four numbers representing a birth date that I've already missed countless of times, hers.

"Hey where are you at? Everyone else is here already so hurry up and get down here. Oh and wear that blue button down shirt."

And I can't help but think that Haley knows me so well as I grab the middle shirt on the bed. The jeans were an easy choice, but I have tried on about a dozen shirts that were hung in my closet and now lay ruefully on my bed trying to find the right one. Thinking of the one that she would like and my thoughts always come to her and what she's doing at that very moment. I decide to skip the shaving I like having the stubble and I nix the idea of a tie.

The drive to the Rivercourt has given me enough time to think of what to say. I want to apologize, but I'm sure my 'sorry' means nothing to her now. I drive my car onto the grass and park it before getting out. The guys are playing a game of what looks like to be horse and the women are sitting on the bench while Jamie is perched up on Brooke's lap and she laughs at something my godson says. I can't help, but look around and when I don't spot a certain blonde I let my head think that maybe she's not coming at all; Haley did say that everyone was here.

"Not that it's any of your business, but she's on her way."

I can hear that raspy voice say and it sounds so cold and distance. It ceases to amaze me how Brooke can go from cheery to bitchy in a matter of seconds. I don't tell her that, but I nod my head in acknowledgement. Five minutes later that game's over and Nathan's won which is no shocker there.

I wonder if she's changed her mind in showing up. I'm sure Haley had specified a certain time and Peyton wasn't one to be fashionably late. I start to gather everyone around and welcome them to the first annual 'Rivercourt Reunion' and everyone cheers, even Brooke.

"Sawyer-"I hear Nathan say those to syllables and I freeze.

She's here, she came, and I don't know how to approach her. I get a small glimpse of her before our group of friends surrounds her entire form while pleasantries were said and hugs were embraced. Finally after an eternity they pull apart and head back to their places. All I can see is her and her beautiful green eyes. Her hair is much longer than i remember the blonde curls that i loved only a distant memory; her hair is straight with slight waves at the end and couple shades darker. She still takes my breath away. I don't know how I did it, but I manage to get two words out of my mouth, three syllables that actually make a proper sound.

"Hi, Peyton."

She smiles and I let myself think that maybe just maybe everything will work out in the end. I look down when I feel something tap at the tip of my shoe. I look down and see an orange basketball, but it's not your average basketball. It's about one fourth of the size of a normal ball and it's soft and squishy.

"My ball."

I watch the nervous little figure come out from behind Peyton's legs and run towards where the ball lie perfectly still. Bending down I snatch the ball from the ground whipping away the dirt and before I know it she's in front of me. I can see she has her mother's eyes as they stare back at me; the green emeralds that I've always loved were staring back ever so innocently and if you look close enough you can see the blue tint in them. Her hair isn't as curly as I pictured it to be, the only curls that she had were at the ends of her hair.

"That's mine."Her little hands stick out towards me wanting her ball back and I give in. "Tank you vewy much."

And I can't help it when I think that her voice has to be the most adorable sound I've ever heard. I stare in amazement at the little girl who was just a little over two years old; two years and two months to be exact. She doesn't run back to Peyton's side, but stares at me like actually stares at me and it's in one of those ways where she's trying to pinpoint where she's seen me before. You might ask 'how do I know that?' and let me tell you that I know that because it's the exact look Peyton gets when she's trying to remember something or someone.

"The book."

She squeaks out and I have absolutely no idea what she's talking about as I watch her run towards the bag that was at Peyton's feet and she plops down digging through it before she pulls something out and brings it back to me. She flips open the hardcover book, one with no front cover to let me know what book it might be.

"Yow in the book."

And she's a smart toddler, and I'm not saying that because I'm biased she really is as she points to the picture of me. I notice the bookmark that's a little more than halfway through the pages and I wonder what chapter she's on, but before we get any further to that a little finger points to the pictures that I had published in my novel.

"You…" I watch her fingers slide to the person that was placed in my arms; high school version of us. "Mommy."

I sat on the couch and waited for Peyton to return from her job at the record label coming up with the least hurtful way to say what I'm going to tell her next. I waited for a couple more hours, she said she would be back by ten and it's already one in the morning. There had to be some kind of labor laws here in California, right?

The sound of the door opening and closing caught my attention and I rub the sleepiness out of my eyes. She looked exhausted and that makes what I'm about to do much worse, but I can't handle this not now anyway. She smiled wearily and takes a seat next to me on the love couch while a yawn escaped her lips.

"I have to tell you something." I began my speech and she just mumbles a sleepily okay."I can't do this." I feel her body stiffen up against mine as she whips the sleeping dust from her eyes. "I can't be a dad. I'm barely only nineteen."

I watch as her heart breaks and her cheeks become flushed with anger.

"And what, Luke? Do you think I'm ready? I just turned nineteen last week."I hate to see her when she cries especially when I'm the sole reason for those tears. "I'm scared too, but we can work through this together."

"How can we, Peyt? While you're here in L.A. and I'm in Tree Hill tell me how that can work?" she didn't answer me and I'm afraid of that. So what do I do when I'm scared? I ran. "I'm sorry. I just can't be here."

As I was walking out the door I heard her call out the words that would haunt me for the rest of my life when I wouldn't be with her.

"You can't or you won't?"

I look up and watch everyone stare up at us. If anything I would have thought that Peyton would have came alone; not letting me have this chance because I know I don't deserve it, but maybe our daughter does. But I'm glad she didn't come by herself.

"Come on, Love."

I can hear Peyton call out. She's standing next to our little girl taking her hand and standing in front of me her scent of vanilla and lavender radiating off of her as it fills my lungs. She doesn't say her name and I wonder if it's because she purposely doesn't want me to know it. I didn't even know that she had our daughter until tonight; Nathan told me that it was privileged information and I hadn't earned it.

We were playing a game of ball the spring time was coming along nicely with some April showers and wild flowers blooming across the grass of the Rivercourt.

"I heard Peyton went into labor yesterday."

I dunked the ball and watched as Nathan caught it and threw it roughly across the ground the anger evident in his movements.

"Damn it. Haley wasn't supposed to say anything to you."

The ting of guilt ran across my body and I slumped my shoulders. I couldn't believe they were going to keep this a secret from me. I had the right to now, didn't I?

"Haley's my best friend. She wouldn't keep this from me."

"Yeah, well, you know what Lucas? You're an ass. But since you already know yeah she did and she had your baby a couple hours later." It was as if he could read my thoughts. "She wasn't alone. She had Brooke by her side the entire time."

"Was it a boy or a girl?"

I hoped he would at least give me an answer to that.

"How about you call her and find out?"

"No, I can't."

"Well than you don't deserve to know whether you have a son or daughter and don't bother asking what the name of the baby is because if you continue acting like a jerk than you have no right to know."

I didn't worry because I could always find out later on when Haley would have told me, but she never did. Nathan got to her before I could.

Peyton's POV

I can't help but think that this was a horrible idea. Never again will I listen to Brooke because she's already used her one 'get out of jail free' card and that's it. But when I watch my little girl walk up to Lucas it's like she doesn't know who he is because all she cares about is the orange ball and getting it back. And I watch as she stares at him trying to find the memory in her mind that has his picture stored and I see her running back because she finally knows who it is. She digs through my purse and pulls out the tattered copy of 'An Unkindness of Ravens'. I've read it to her about a hundred times since the moment she was born and she doesn't seem to tire of the book that held my hopes and dreams. We're at her favorite part, the championship, and she's already made me read it more than ten times because I just can't say no to her.

I know you're probably wondering why on earth I would do such a thing after all the heartache that man has put me through, but it's because there was a happy ending in that story and m-our daughter should believe in those; unlike me. But most importantly because he's her dad.

I watch the two interact and wonder how my life would have turned out if he would have stayed. At first I was angry with him and loathed him almost even hated him, but of course he gave me her so I could never hate him, but I also forgave him even though I really didn't want to. We were both so young and so scared, but when I chose to stay and fight he chose to run. He never called, not once so remember I did forgive, but I will never forget. And never forgetting makes the scene in front of me that much harder and I can't take it anymore so I walk over and call her by the nickname I gave her because she will always be my Love. It's time to go I tell her and she looks up at me almost sad, but she knows that I know what's best for her and she grips my hand tighter. I say my goodbyes to everyone assuring them that tomorrow we'll have breakfast because-I want to say tonight's too hard, but I don't-it's getting late.

"Goodbye, Lucas."

I tug on my daughter's hand trying to tell her that it's time to go and she takes a step forward initiating the walk, but stops.

Lucas' POV

She says goodbye to me and I watch as she gently tugs our daughter's hand no words needing to tell her that it's time to go. I still don't know her name and I want to know it so badly, but maybe this little girl doesn't know me other than the guy who wrote some book, she's two years old after all.

"Bye, daddy."

And she's the smartest little girl I've ever met. I want nothing more than to take those two most important people in my life right now and just hold them into my arms never wanting to let them go, but one look from Peyton and she still knows me inside and out that I stop from taking those two steps. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

"Bye, baby girl."

It's the first time I see our little girl's smile the slight dimple in her cheek, courtesy of my genes, is one that warms my heart. She looks exactly like Peyton, but I'm more than ecstatic that she has inherited some of me in the slightest thing she does.

That's when I realize I will fight tooth and nail do anything and everything, win every battle and every war, conquer every obstacle and hurdle that gets thrown my way just to be part of her life. Part of both their lives.

-Fin-

A/N: So what did you think? Oh magical green button what do the readers think? If you like/love it let me know :D

oh and i also want to know if you guessed that Peyton had a kid in her point of view or was it a suprise when you found out in Lucas' point of view? And after reading it did you get that Brooke was talking about her god daughter before Peyton cut her off? Or how about that Lucas' password was his daugher's birthday? also let me just say that if there's any mistakes I'm sorry its almost 3 AM here and sleep is calling my name lol.

Okay so let me just end by saying this seriously just popped into my head and it would leave until i wrote this. So i started to write and just couldn't stop :D so that's good for you guys! not so good for my next chapter of "Time to Pretend" but i will get that chapter up later today :D