I'm sick today, and this hit me during a fit of coughing while I was listening to Relient K.
The Malfoys have decided to put on a concert where they will sing their theme song. Narcissa will be playing bass, Lucious will be on lead guitar, and Draco will be the drummer.
ALL: We are the Malfoys who don't do anything! We just stay at home and lie around! And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you...
NARCISSA: We don't do anything! Well, I've never been to Greeland and I've never been to Denver and I've never seen the flowers in St. Louis or St. Paul...
Lucious pretends not to notice as his wife stares pointedly, reminding him that he never takes her anywhere.
NARCISSA: And I've never been to Moscow and I've never been to Tampa and I've never been to Boston in the faaaaaaaaaaall!
ALL: 'Cuz we're the Malfoys who don't do anything! We just stay home and lie around! And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you...
LUCIOUS: We don't do anything! Well, I never kill a Mudblood and didn't kill the Order and I never ask the paintings hanging on the wall and I never chase the Trio and I never torture Harry and I've never been to Boston in the faaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!
ALL: 'Cuz we're the Malfoys who don't do anything! We just stay home and lie around! And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you...
DRACO: We don't do anything! Well, I've never kissed Hermione and I've never eaten penguin and I've never thrown my mashed potatotes up against the wall andI've never run to Finlandand I've never kissed Hermione and I've never been to Boston in the faaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!
Bellatrix Lestrange jumps onto the stage.
BELLATRIX: Hey...what's this obsession withkissing Hermione Granger?
DRACO: Uhh...it's not an obsession...
BELLATRIX: You said ittwice!
DRACO: I needed something that rhymed, though, and that was all I could think of...
BELLATRIX: NOTHING RHYMES WITH HERMIONE!
DRACO: There's LOTS of stuff that rhymes with Hermione! Blimey, grimy, slimy Hermione!
BELLATRIX: Then why'd you say you wanted to kiss her?
DRACO: Isaid I never had!
BELLATRIX: But you WANTED to!
Before he can respond, Bellatrix hits him with the Cruciatus Curse.For several moments he is silent,whimpering. Then, he begins to sing a capella.
DRACO: And I've never licked a Gobstone...and I've never sniffed a stinkbug...and I've never worn a paisley shirt out into the hall...
LUCIOUSand NARCISSA (as they help him back onto the stool behind his drum set): Ooooooooooooooooooooooo,aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh...
DRACO: And I've never bathed in yogurt...and Ilook real good in leggings...And I've never been to Boston in the faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!
HARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, let's give 'em a big hand!
ALL: We are the Malfoys who don't do anything! We just stay home and lie around! And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you...WE DON'T DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!
VOLDEMORT: You can say that again.