"This is ridiculous."

Coming in from a frigid New York morning, Pepper Potts stepped into the living quarters of Stark Tower through a door held open by Tony's foot. She was laden, genuinely laden, with shopping bags. Tony was too, well, maybe not laden so much as lightly covered, but he was carrying more stuff than he would have liked, so it counted for something that he was polite enough to stick around to hold the door open for her instead of just striding into his living room and dumping everything into the middle of the floor.

Which, once Pepper cleared the entryway, he proceeded to do.

Pepper followed and did the same. She stepped back and surveyed the impressive mound of... stuff. Like, garland. And tinsel. And... fake snow. And then, her eyes traveled over to the corner where the humongo live tree had been installed—you say 'installed' when it takes three men to bring it in, and an airplane wire anchor has to be screwed into the ceiling to keep the thing from falling over and killing someone—the day before.

"What the hell has gotten into you?" she tsk-ed as she took off her overcoat. "You never gave a damn about decorating for Christmas before."

"I know! Awful, huh? I should have paid more attention. I should have been creating, you know, traditions all this time."

"Traditions."

"Yeah, like treasured handmade ornaments passed down from generation to generation—"

Pepper picked up a bag from The Christmas Store and pulled out a box of six identical red glitter-covered plastic balls. "You just bought these forty-five minutes ago. They're made in China. In a factory."

"And, Yule logs—"

"You haven't lit a fire in that fireplace in six years. The last time you did, you were burning evidence."

"Standing around the ol' piano, singing Christmas carols..."

Pepper rolled her eyes. "You don't have a piano, and if you did, I'd bet money that the extent of your Christmas carol repertoire is a dirty version of Jingle Bells."

"The smell of sugar cookies baking, a big bowl of eggnog on the sideboard..."

"'Sideboard?' What are you, English all of a sudden? And, do you even know where your kitchen is? I defy you to show it to me on a map."

"I have GPS, no problem." Tony turned, holding his hands out, palm-up, a clear plea for understanding. "Look, Pep, I just... decided it was time to put down some roots, create a real home out of this place. And, Christmas is a great time to do it, right?" Tony gave her a sincere smile as he knelt down and began prowling through the bright and shiny booty spread all over his living room rug.

Pepper stood back, her arms crossed and a scowl of suspicion on her face. "And, this just came to you. Out of nowhere. Apropos of nothing. A week before Christmas."

"Well, I might've watched a Hallmark special."

"Mm."

"And, I might've been suckered into dropping a few coins into a Salvation Army Santa's bucket. Helping people, warm fuzzy feels, all that."

"Uh-huh."

"...aaaand, I might've done a thing..."

Pepper's eyes narrowed. "A thing? What kind of thing?"

She was startled by the words, "What's all this?" coming from nowhere, well, behind her.

Pepper whirled at the sound of the soft, sleepy, Asgardian-accented voice. She glared open-mouthed at the sight of Loki, former Number One Nemesis of SHEILD and would-be ruler of all the Earth, now Tony Stark's sometime boyfriend, in spite of the horrified protests of everyone from Nick Fury, to Thor, to Pepper herself.

The god was yawning, scratching his stomach, and wearing footy-pajamas.

With penguins on them.

"Hey, babe," Tony said, carefully ignoring Pepper's disgust. "Did we wake you up?"

"What the hell are you wearing?" Pepper demanded in spite of herself.

Loki looked down and shrugged. "Tony bought them for me. Very practical in this weather, there's no gap between the top and bottom. Plus, one needs no slippers on a cold marble floor. Brilliant, really. You should deliver a shipment of them to Asgard, you'd make another fortune." Loki straightened, stretched, and gestured at the spoils of shopping laid out before him. "I repeat, what are all these... provisions you've deposited in the middle of the living chamber? Expecting some sort of bizarre natural disaster, are we?"

Tony chuckled and went to him, and then pulled him into a deep kiss before saying, "This is our first Christmas together. I wanted to make it special."

Pepper made a gagging sound.

Loki raised an eyebrow, directing it at first Pepper, and then Tony. "I see. And, vast quantities of plastic tree boughs and imitation holly leaves will accomplish that?" Loki held up a rather limp looking package of garland.

"It'll look fantastic once we've plumped it up a little."

Loki frowned uncertainly and Pepper let out a huge sigh. "Okay, I've had about enough of this. You two have fun. I'm going to go home and pretend I never saw... that." Pepper gestured in the direction of Loki, although it wasn't clear whether it was the pajamas or the god himself that had repulsed her so. Tony supposed it didn't matter; Pepper was going to have to get used to Loki being around because—

"Hey, Pep. Here. Save a stamp." Tony strode over to a desk and then handed Pepper an envelope.

Pepper turned and stared at it; it appeared to be a Christmas card. She took it and as she peered at the return address, a growing sense of unease came over her, heightened as she opened it and read it. She looked up at Tony, grimacing.

"Oh, no. Oh, hell, no. From Tony Stark... and Loki?"

"Oh, yes," Loki said with a nod. "Stark has kindly invited me to share his home on a permanent basis. As his..." Loki grinned rakishly. "...partner." He turned to Tony and cupped his chin. "Of course, at the time that I accepted, I wasn't aware that the arrangement would involve anything more taxing than sleeping in the same bed with him night after night after night and, ugh, watching him eat, but it seems to extend to a number of tedious social conventions, as well."

"You like sleeping with me," Tony said fondly.

"I like the sex. The sleeping leaves something to be desired. You grind your teeth and you appropriate more than your share of the blankets."

"Are you calling me a cover thief? What about you, Mr. Sheet Ratcheter? Your home planet is made of ice, why do you even need covers?"

"This form is susceptible to cold!"

"I should go," Pepper stated firmly. "You're making me want to hurl."

Just then, a clap of thunder exploded overhead and a flash of lightening tore through the hazy sky right outside the picture window of the high rise.

Thor stalked into the room, a distressed look on his face.

"Well, brother?" Loki asked, clearly expecting him. "What responses did you get?"

"Volstagg and Fandral said yes immediately. I had to persuade Hogun, but he's coming."

"And what of Mother?"

"She was delighted. She's bringing roast boar with all the trimmings."

"Ah, my favorite," Loki said with relish. "And, Father?"

"He won't be joining us. The very invitation put him into an Odin-sleep."

Loki nodded knowingly. "Probably for the best. Jane?"

"She's coming, but I had to invite Darcy, too. I trust that is all right, Man of Iron?"

"Sure, the more the merrier. Literally."

Loki was counting on his fingers. "Oh! And what about Sif?"

Thor's unhappy expression deepened. "Oh, she's coming. But, for rather nefarious reasons, I've been led to believe."

Pepper immediately went on the alert. "What kind of reasons?" she asked, even though she had no clue as to what exactly was being discussed.

Thor looked at Pepper and gave a derisive snort. "According to Fandral, she is only interested in catching those two," Thor jerked a thumb toward Tony and Loki, "...in the act of carnal love. Which, unfortunately, should not be difficult, as they seem to engage in it with alarming frequency, if my visits here are any indication."

"Oh, tell her not to bother," Loki said irritably. "We'll just burn her a DVD."

Tony nodded. "Yeah, I've got 'em in hi-def now."

Pepper had had enough. "Hold it! Exactly what sort of outer-space hootenanny are you two planning, Tony?"

"Christmas dinner, babe. Big blow-out, catered and everything. Didn't you get your invitation? By the look on your face, I'm guessing not. I should have known when you didn't RSVP." He cast a look at Loki. "You did mail the Midgardian crowd's invites, right? Right?"

Loki had a slightly guilty expression on his face. "I may have... forgotten."

Thor was standing by the desk and he held up a stack of white envelopes. "Are you referring to these, Son of Stark?"

"Aaaah! Loki. Damn it, these are my best friends—and, do you know how much food I ordered? Well, never mind, I'm off to make a bunch of phone calls." Tony snatched up the invitations, strode over to Loki, grabbed him by the front of his pajamas and yanked him down to him. "I'll deal with you later." He gave him an angry kiss on the forehead and then strode off.

Loki watched him leave, and now had a silly smirk on his face. He gave Pepper a wink. "I love it when he disciplines me," he confided in a loud whisper.

Pepper closed her eyes tiredly. "When is this shindig?"

"The eve of the Mass of Christ," Thor answered.

"All right. Tell Tony I'll bring a green bean casserole."

Thor and Loki exchanged an "eww" look, Loki because he didn't know what it was, Thor because he did.

"I look forward to having you as a guest in our home, Miss Potts," Loki said graciously. "Your delightful presence will be enough. You needn't feel obliged to bring food."

"Oh, I'll bring it." Pepper pulled her coat on. "I may have to spike it with Thorazine, but I'll bring it," she muttered to herself as she headed out the door.

The two brothers stood there for a moment. Then, Thor gave Loki an annoyed look.

"What in the Nine are you wearing?"

"They're called footed pajamas. They're very cozy—would you like a pair? I can get Tony to purchase some for you."

Thor twisted his lips in thought. "All right. No penguins, though."

"They come in a tiger print, I believe."

Thor nodded. "That would be acceptable." He smiled at Loki.

There were definitely perks to having Tony Stark for a brother-in-law.