DANNY
"You've been hanging out with Steve too much."
Kono frowns. "Wait, what? No! Why would you even-"
"To have an idea that stupid... No, Kono, you're a bright girl, this is Steve's bad influence on you."
She pouts - actually pouts - like Gracie does when she doesn't get her way. It would almost be cute, if it wasn't over something so ridiculous. Who pouts over not getting to do something dangerous?
"I just thought it would be fun." Yup, she has that exact tone of disappointment that Grace gets, only Grace has more sense than her Auntie Kono, and gets upset because she can't have a sleepover or she's lost her teddybear or she has to do her homework. She wouldn't get upset over this.
"What would be fun?" Steve has ambled over, in that annoyingly quiet SEAL way he has, and Danny would accuse him of being sneaky except that he's fairly sure Steve doesn't realise he's doing it and wouldn't be able to turn it off if he did.
Danny groans. "Oh God, it's like you're psychically connected on the taking idiotic risks plane."
Kono may have been protesting her innocence thirty seconds ago, but the way she turns towards Steve, all eager and excited, proves she knows he's the best audience for this one. She may not admit it, she may not even realise it, but she has definitely been spending too much time in his company. "I just thought we could go climbing and abseiling together, all of us, one weekend. For, you know, team building and stuff. Time to bond. Work together to overcome obstacles. And, you know, enjoy ourselves, too."
Steve's eyes light up. Predictably. Two minutes ago Danny was suggesting a quiet Friday night beer with his coworkers, and suddenly he's being outvoted over a life and death situation.
"That's a great idea."
Danny would like to shoot the pair of them. "No it's not a great idea. It's a terrible idea. I have a daughter. And I want to be able to pick up my grand kids."
"You don't have grand kids, Danny." Oh, of course, now Steve chooses to be the voice of reason. Point out police procedure, expect him to behave within spitting distance of the law and he gets this confused look, a perplexed frown, creases between his eyebrows. Express distaste for the idea of throwing yourself down a cliff face for fun, and he starts picking out the logical flaws in your argument. Typical.
"I will one day, and when that day comes I want to be able to hug them without assistance. I want to be alive to hug them. I do not want to be in a wheelchair or on life support or in an early grave because you two idiots think that danger is fun."
"It's perfectly safe, I did this kind of stuff for a living, Danny-"
"Your definition of perfectly safe does not comfort me, Steven. You used to jump out of aircraft for a living, too."
Kono turns towards him, mouth opening, and Danny jumps in before she can say it: "No. No. No way. There is no way in hell we are going to go parachute jumping, sky diving, or any other harebrained idea that's floating around in your pretty little head." He turns to his partner. "Or yours, either."
"I have a pretty little head?" Danny's fairly sure at this point that Steve just enjoys screwing with him. "That's sweet, Danno, thanks."
Chin chooses that moment to appear, and Danny doesn't even stop to say hi before appealing to him as a voice of reason. ('Voice of reason' is relative, here. Desperate times and all that.)
"Team bonding, that means, like, a few beers after work or maybe, maybe taking a pleasant hike and having a picnic, you know, like a hike that doesn't involve climbing shoes or any kind of safety equipment, right? The kind of hike where I could bring Grace and wouldn't be in fear for my life at any time."
Chin shoots him a "what you talkin' bout, brah?" look, but Steve and Kono jump in to explain before Danny can point out all the flaws in the plan.
"Kono wants us to go climbing and abseiling-"
"-as a team building exercise, you know-"
"-learning to trust each other, and learn some skills, you know, survival training, cases have taken us out into the forests before now-"
"-also, it would be fun, we could even bivouac, sleep under the stars..."
Danny can't help but wonder where the additions to the plan sprang from. It's gone from bad to worse without any actual discussion. The crazy twins here are determined to get him killed, he's sure.
Chin looks a little alarmed, but not nearly as alarmed as Danny would like him to look. "Well..."
"Wouldn't it be great?" Kono grins pleadingly and winsomely, and Danny is now quite sure she's been taking lessons from Grace. Chin is a soft touch when it comes to his baby cousin, despite the fact that she's clearly a grown woman, and he's not exactly a beacon of common sense in the first place when it comes to pastimes that are borderline suicidal.
"Well..." he says again. "I guess we could think about it..."
Danny can see where this is headed. The lunatics have officially taken over the asylum.
"You are all-" Danny looks at each of them in turn to make his point, wagging his finger, and he doesn't even care that he's acting like a schoolteacher or a worried mom "-certifiable, you know that? I am not throwing myself down a cliff face for anybody." He glares at them.
There's a moment of silence, and then Kono claps a hand over her mouth to cover up her giggles. Danny frowns, and then Steve and Chin both start to laugh too.
"Your face," Chin splutters.
"Told you he'd fall for it." Steve looks completely satisfied and Danny is torn between anger that they ganged up on him and relief that rock-climbing and abseiling aren't going to feature in his immediate future.
"I should know better than to bet against you," says Chin with a shrug. "Guess I'm getting the first round in, then."
"I hate you. I hate you all," Danny mutters, but he can't summon any real heat.
"We love you too, Danno."
"Wipe that smirk off your face, McGarrett." He shakes his head.
Kono heads to the door, laughing, and the others follow, Steve flinging an arm round Danny's shoulders as he passes to drag him along.
Danny protests a little. Out of habit and out of principle. These people are dangerous.
But it's nice to belong.