Endstation Vergangenheit

by Pureblood-Slytherins

Commander Thrawn and Maris Ferasi were more than friends. Now, a perceived lifetime later, Grand Admiral Thrawn has to face her again and is up for a surprise.

Endstation Vergangenheit

Chapter 1: The message

Maris. Maris Ferasi. A name with a past. A name he had not heard for a long time ... and yet it hadn't lost any of its magic. Maris Ferasi. Carefully, Thrawn folded his hands in front of his chest, laid them on the grey desk in front of him and then stared at the brightly lit datapad.

Maris Ferasi. He remembered her vividly: her thick, brown hair that, at every given opportunity, had disengaged itself from the hairband. The big, green eyes that had looked at the galaxy with an ease, unknown to him. Her bright laugh, whenever his Basic had taken on an odd turn and her voice telling him enthusiastic stories about the Jedi and other tales about her part of the galaxy. Maris Ferasi. The first human female he had ever laid eyes on. Young and full of strong, positive emotions. So different...

All of this had been a long time ago ... It felt like it had happened in another lifetime. What did she want from him? After all these years? He raised the datapad again and let his gaze wander over it. `Maris Ferasi asks for a callback. URGENT!' Behind it was a ComLink number. The message was part of the appendix. Behind all the data that was the day-to-day work of an Imperial Grand Admiral: Reports of shortcomings in the infirmary, inadequate blasters, recurring problems with the hyperdrive, defect TIEs, and even the canteen had filed a complain about the misconduct of some stormtroopers today. And behind it: Maris Ferasi. Many officers paid little or no attention to the appendix. He was not one of them.

Thrawn's eyes were fixed on the number. The first three digits indicated a registration on Corellia. That made sense. Maris was from Corellia. Had she gone back there? Was she still part of Dubrak's little smuggler group? If he decided to call her back, he would probably get answers to these questions. But should he? `URGENT! '

Maris ... That had been a different life. A life in which he had been Commander Thrawn of the Chiss Ascendancy. His life had changed drastically since then. HE had changed drastically since then. He had never gone through the galaxy as blue-eyed as Maris had ... But with her, he had been different. Or at least he had considered her wishes in his decision-making, which in retrospect looked rather foolish. What if they were to meet again? ... She would not understand him. Never. For her, the end never justified the means. For her, the smuggling trade had been some sort of "protest movement" against the corruption of the Old Republic. And if the Old Republic had already earned her protest, he shouldn't harbor any illusions about the Empire. She would hate it. Maybe it was better not to revive the contact. Why put the good memories at stake? `URGENT! '

They hadn't been in contact for 19 years. Whatever it was, it probably was urgent ... and he owed her. Maris Ferasi had saved his life. With her body weight, she had kept the air in his leaky spacesuit. She had been ... He took a deep breath. It was not a good idea to contact her. He did not have any good data about her. His request had gone nowhere. Could he trust her? People changed. And as much as it hurt, the thought that she might have joined the rebellion had crossed his mind more than once. She was naive enough to believe in the rebels' altruistic motives and in their illusion of a peaceful galaxy, whereas the rebels would certainly not hesitate to take advantage of Maris, and her connection to him ... He should not call her back.`URGENT!'

He could not imagine what she wanted from him. Even the adjutant, who had been responsible for adding that piece of information to his reports, hadn't been very informative. It might not even be her.`URGENT!'

And being in contact with him was dangerous too. He had enemies everywhere that were only waiting for an opportunity to hurt him - and Maris would be a very easy target. He should not call her back. `URGENT!'

He reached for the datapad and then typed the number into the desk's integrated data field. His blue hand hovered over the call-button for one more moment. `URGENT!'

Then he pressed it.

Chapter 2: A life-changing conversation

"Hello, Maris." The bluish-white holoconnection was of incredible quality. Thrawn. He hadn't changed. Not much at least. Suddenly, Maris was nervous. Damn it! "Do you have any idea how hard it is to reach you, Mitth'raw'nuruodo?" "As a matter of fact, I do. You must have been quite persistent." "Believe me, I was…. Thrawn… You have to come to Corellia. As soon as possible. I'll send you the coordinates now." He raised an eyebrow in question, but then waited for Maris to put her data-crystal into the datapad to send the file. A ringing sound from the other side indicated that the transmission had worked. He looked at the file. "This is a rather unusual request." He said finally. "Would you care to explain your motivation?" Maris sighed. "I'd rather not. I mean, I will tell you why, but later. On Corellia. It is important to me. Will that do for a reason?" He studied her for a while, his face as unreadable as it had ever been. "It will not. It was nice to see you again, Maris, but under these circumstances, I have to decline." He leaned forward. "NO!" Maris jumped up and leaned closer to the screen. "Don't cut the connection! Whatever you do, don't cut the connection now! It took me days to get to you! Please!" Her desperation must have been obvious as she could see him withdraw his hand from the "end call"-button. "Why do you want me on Corellia? Has it anything to do with that hospital, whose coordinates you just send me?" Maris bit her lower lip. She had hoped to avoid this. This was not the way it should happen… "Maris, either you are telling me what is going on here or this conversation is over." His patience was fading and she couldn't blame him. She would be irritated too. Just do it!

"There is a person in that hospital that needs help. There was a speeder accident and she was hurt badly. The medics tried to help her but couldn't…" For what it was worth, the tears that were slowly gathering in her eyes obscured her vision. At least she could avoid seeing him now. Surely, it already dawned on him... "Go on." His dark voice filled the room. "Yes. Just give me a second." Maris brought her hand to her eyes once more. "… her genetics are complicated. They put her in stasis to prolong her life and to come up with a way to help her. The hospital in Coronet is good. They have money, good doctors and access to a huge database, but…" The sentence she never wanted to utter. Maris felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. "…in this case they have nothing and they can't go on without her father's DNA. They need a sample of your spinal cord to be precise." Maris dried her eyes and the vision became clearer again. She had done it. For her, she could do everything. She would face Palpatine himself if it would make a difference!

"Maris, what are you telling me?" She studied his face. He was in shock. So shocked, she actually saw the icy control that usually ruled him crack. "I'm telling you that I was carrying your child when I left the Springhawk…Lenya was born in April the following year." "Lenya?" "Lenya Ferasi, your daughter." He didn't say anything for a couple of seconds and just looked at the screen. Seconds that felt like an eternity. Then he closed his eyes. "Maris…Why didn't you tell me?" She had prepared for this question but knew that the answer would be less than satisfactory. "At first, I didn't want to believe it myself….Then…I was young and scared, and naïve enough to believe I could do it on my own. After the birth, I tried to reach you. I managed a holoconnection with an official representative of the Expansionary Fleet once. He refused to give me information on you. Then I asked him for Thrass' number instead and he told me your brother had died. And that was it. I told myself I had tried. Truth is I could have tried harder. I'm sorry." "What about later?" "Later?!" Maris almost laughed. "Later your name was in the Holonews! You became famous and I was serving plates in a diner. No. There are worlds between us, Mitth'raw'nuruodo. There always were, but now they are more obvious. I had done fine without you. And I was afraid to tell you, to face you and I did not want to be the woman that suddenly reappears when there's something to gain, and I was afraid of rejection, my self-esteem had never been that high. But most of all, I was afraid of how that knowledge would affect Lenya. She was a happy girl, had friends, did well in school. We had a good life. There was more to lose than to gain."

Maris sighed. "Somewhere along the road, I just decided to never have this conversation. I know that wasn't fair to you." "There is no such thing as fairness. There is only reality and that is shaped by whoever has the power to define it, in this case - that was you." He was angry, that much was obvious. She didn't know him like this and she was petrified that, at any moment, he would just cut the connection. "Thrawn, say something, please." she pleaded. He leaned back in his chair and slowly shook his head. "And what do you want me to say? That everything is alright? That I forgive you?" There was an awkward silence. "No. I know it's not alright. It was wrong of me and I neither want nor deserve your forgiveness. All I want you to say is that you come to this address. Please…. I'll do everything! I'll plead, I'll beg, I'll die, but come – she'll die without you…Thrawn…please."

Chapter 3: Packing

"You're leaving, Admiral?" Captain Pellaeon asked in apparent surprise while looking at the open suitcase on the couch that was half filled with everything necessary for a short trip. Thrawn re-entered the living area of his quarters, with a black pullover in his hand. "I am." He put the garment into the suitcase and then closed it with an audible thud. "I will be gone for three or four days." Thrawn said and then watched the elder man carefully. "I see. Is there anything I should know about your leave of absence or is there anything, in particular, you want me to do while you're gone?" "Yes, there is. I cannot order you to do this, as the reason for my leave of absence is of personal nature, but I would like to ask you to keep this quiet. I do not want the whole galaxy to know that I am gone." He studied the man in front of him for a while longer, as if making a decision. Then he sighed. "My daughter had a speeder accident and is in hospital." Pellaeon raised an eyebrow. Even after all these years Thrawn still managed to surprise him. "I had no idea you had a family." For a second Pellaeon thought that he saw something like hurt appear on his face. "It is not public knowledge and I would like to keep it that way." The Captain nodded. That was understandable. A family, children, in particular, were an attractive target. Only just last week he had seen a report on the Holonet about the abduction of a Grand Moff's son. He had paid, but the kidnappers had killed the kid anyway. They had put it in an earth-hole in the mountains of Corellia and let it die of thirst. Its father surely wasn't the most likable person he had ever met, but how could anyone do that to a child? He had really felt sorry for the family that day.

Thrawn gave him a piece of paper. "This is my private comlink number, if anything important happens, call me. And rescheduling the shifts of the entire bridge personnel would be beneficial too. Like that my absence will not be noticed right away. If anyone asks, try to avoid a direct answer." "Of course…. and, Sir, if you don't mind me saying so, I'm sorry to hear about the accident …Are you alright?" Pellaeon had known the Chiss for quite some time now and most people probably wouldn't see a difference, but he did. He was tense and somewhat distracted. "Thank you for your concern, Captain. It is a nice gesture, but I would rather not talk about it." He looked at his comlink and then back up to the Captain. "I am alright. " Pellaeon doubted it. This kind of information always affected a person, even one as stoic and severe as Thrawn. He couldn't help thinking of Mynar. He barely knew his son, Hallena didn't want it, but still…if something would happen to him, it would affect him. More than he cared to admit.

"I will take Rukh with me and Dr. Reese." Pellaeon raised an eyebrow. "Dr. Reese is part of naval personnel, you cannot simply take her with you." Usually, Thrawn didn't do things like this. Using his power for personal benefit - and it was his job to ensure the safety of the fleet and the men under his command. Pellaeon felt sorry for the Admiral, but he surely wouldn't just give him his chief physician. "She requested a holiday which I granted. The way she spends her holiday is of no concern to you." Pellaeon grinned. "So that's how this works…Doesn't mean I like it. What if I find myself in battle with no competent doctor in sickbay?" "Chances of that are minimal, Captain and I arranged an adequate replacement. Dr. Mellory from the Death Head will join you tomorrow morning at 09.00 hours." "Alright." Pellaeon sighed. Even under pressure, the man seemed to have thought of everything. But that shouldn't really surprise him.

"I need someone I can trust in that hospital, Gilad. I hope you can understand that." He rarely called him by his first name. It was his way of showing him that this was personal. Indeed Thrawn put a lot of trust in him revealing this piece of information. He would not let him down. "I do and your secret is save with me. Don't worry, I will cover for you." "That means a lot to me." The two men looked at each other for a second. "I will leave in 30 minutes, during the night shift. There is less personnel in the hanger bay then." "Good luck, Admiral." "Thank you."

Chapter 4: Coronet

It was hard to imagine that these two people had ever been romantically involved, Karen thought. She was far too … common. A terrible word and she hated herself for thinking it, as it outed herself too. Karen Reese had never thought of herself as "common" and her mother had used the word as an insult. "Common people" were to be avoided. "Common people" were boring, poor and soon to be forgotten. And in her eyes, Maris Ferasi was just that - common. She wasn't ugly, but not stunningly beautiful, not stupid, but not overly smart. She dressed in earthly colours and black and all in all, looked…"common". She seemed to be a regular nice person that was in utter despair over her daughter's current health issue, which was understandable, but whatever the Grand Admiral had seen in Maris Ferasi, was totally lost on her. He was so different… and far from common. His manners, the way he talked, his whole bearing showed that he was a powerful man. Intelligent, influential, rich and, she had to admit it, attractive. Then again 19 years ago he hadn't been a Grand Admiral. They had been so young…21. Her mother would have killed her if she had become pregnant with 21. She had still gone to university at that age. Maybe he had been at the Academy? She remembered her best friend Alice who told her once that on the weekends lots of "common" girls came to the Coruscantian bars that were close to the Royal Academy to "accidentally" meet the rising stars of the Galactic Empire. Those girls were usually easy prey and sex was the only thing that happened, but every now and then a girl got "lucky". But somehow neither of them seemed the type. Anyway…whatever had connected them all those years ago, seemed to have gone by now. She wouldn't call it a hostile atmosphere, but the two of them did not seem to be on the best of terms… During their flight here, the Grand Admiral had been nice and considerate and sometimes even fun to be around, but as soon as Ferasi had entered the doctor's office, his mood had dropped considerably. There hadn't even been a proper greeting between the two. Maybe she shouldn't be that surprised. Most relationships of naval officers didn't work out.

Doctor Geneavelli had been genuinely surprised when the Grand Admiral had revealed his identity to him and then more than a bit vexed when Thrawn had forced him to work under her constant observation. Karen could understand that. Doctor Geneavelli had a good reputation, still, Thrawn was careful and that with good reason. He had said that the last thing he wanted was that his genetic material somehow made its way to Kamino. Well, there was a thought. Karen smiled and absentmindedly put her blond hair behind her ear. Having more than one Thrawn could have its benefits. Ah, she shouldn't think stuff like that. If she would be in his position, she would probably be just as paranoid. Karen looked at the Datapad in her hand. It was the non-disclosure contract Doctor Geneavelli had just signed. A bit more severe than the usual patience confidentiality and with harder consequences if it was broken. A lot harder. "The treatment should start right away." Thrawn nodded. "Agreed." "Good if you would follow the silver C-3PO unit to the next free surgery, we can start with the extraction right away." "This hospital has serious security issues, my Lord. I could not guarantee for your safety." A scratchy voice said out of thin air and both, Ferasi and Geneavelli, noticeably flinched in their chairs. "What was that?" Maris asked bewildered. "Rukh, my bodyguard. Sorry, I should have informed you about his presence. He wears a portable cloaking device." Thrawn explained evenly, but his apology didn't sound too sincere. "I would have to stay in a horizontal position for at least 24 hours, right?" Karen nodded. "Could you do it in the hotel? Under local anesthesia?" "With the right equipment, yes. But I would prefer the hospital. It's a surgical procedure after all. Both options are not without risks. And I'm not sure if the hospital can spare the equipment." Doctor Geneavelli nodded affirmatively. "We are well equipped and under these circumstances, we can afford to be flexible." Karen smiled. Like they had a choice… Thrawn hit with his silver light-pen against the doctor's desk. "We will do it in the hotel." He said finally. "But before that… I would like to see my daughter."

The moment he had anticipated and dreaded at the same time. To see his daughter. His own flesh and blood. The person that shared half of his DNA. He had read everything about her on their flight to Corellia, which in itself didn't mean much. There wasn't a lot about her in the official files. There had been a birth certificate, with a painfully empty space right in the second line. Several school reports that spoke of a good student, an enrollment certificate at the Corellian University and two police tickets for flying too fast. In other words, he knew nothing about her and the only photo in those files had been from her student's ID that enabled her to use public transport and the photo's quality had been bad.

This would be different. Very different. He walked closer to the semi-transparent cube and then looked inside. Blue skin, but lighter than his, his hair, his facial structure, but without the typical Chiss forehead ridges, the mouth was Maris' as was the nose. Her eyes were closed but he already knew them to be human. She was beautiful. Nature seemed to have chosen the best of both of them. Or was he just biased? Quite possible, but for a moment he chose to ignore the rational part of his mind. Lenya was beautiful and she was his daughter. He heard the door being opened and then saw Maris walking in. Silently she stood next to him, both of them looking down at their daughter. "Thank you for coming." "You do not have to thank me. I did it for her. Not for you." He was still angry and it was hard to let go of that anger. She was 18 years old! Already a young woman, even if she looked younger to him. He had missed her whole childhood. Everything. And now her life was in danger. But if it hadn't been for that, Maris would never have told him. Maris bit her lower lip. She always did that when she was nervous or sad. Then she turned around and wanted to leave, but he reached for her hand and held her back in the last second. "She is beautiful. We did well." Maris nodded and then smiled shyly. "Yes, we did." Then she freed her hand from his grip and left the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

If she were to tell her friends on the Chimera that, right now, she was in an expensive hotel room on Corellia with Grand Admiral Thrawn lying bare-chested underneath her, they probably would get the wrong idea. "A credit for your thoughts." "What?" "You were smiling in a very peculiar way, doctor." He smiled up at her. "Oh, that…" Karen forced herself to focus on filling the syringe. "…that was nothing." She should be more careful.

"If you would please turn around." He did and she gradually inserted the needle into the blue skin, numbing most of his back. "Can you feel that?" She asked and slowly stroked with two fingers over his back. He shook his head. "What about this?" She inserted the needle in a different area. "Nothing." "Good." She got up, put the needle aside and picked up the laser scalpel. "Ok. Whatever you do, don't move, or I'll handcuff you to the bed." He turned around and looked at her, mild amusement on his face. "Secret dream of yours?" "You don't want to get smug with a woman carrying an activated laser scalpel...Sir" She added after a brief pause. "Right. I am all yours then." Why did he have to be like that? Why?

Chapter 5: A normal life

24 hours of lying in bed may sound like heaven when you had a stressful day, but in reality, Thrawn soon found himself bored. His mind needed problems, things to worry about or just something to do. You could only read for so long and the Holo had been a terrible idea. What humans liked about some of these mindless shows was beyond him. Cooking shows seemed to be in especially high demand and further down the line, he had found some very disturbing Hutt porn channels. The news had been a disaster too. Grand Admiral Zaarin surely liked his face in the media. How could anyone enjoy that much media attention? He surely didn't. And 24 hours of nothing, also left him with too much time to think. About Maris, about Lenya, about his life in general and that was never a good idea. If one would practice it long enough, one would probably never leave the bed again!

Therefore, he was more than happy to finally be able to participate in life again and now he found himself in Doctor Geneavelli's office once more. "Miss Ferasi, Mr. Thrawn." He welcomed them and showed them to sit down. The thing with the name had never really worked. He should have made it Thrawn Nuruodo or something that resembled his blood family's name, but Mr. Thrawn was just wrong. Anyway, he wouldn't complain about it now. There were more important things to worry about. "The good thing is that the extraction provided us with enough genetic material to work with. We injected her with a treatment to stimulate the central nervous system, which worked. But…the Chiss DNA reacted in a way we did not anticipate. Lenya's immune system suddenly got very aggressive and started to fight everything not Chiss, which in her case is fatal. She had internal bleedings and her liver stopped functioning last night. We have her on life support now." "What?" Maris started to sob uncontrollably. "She is not dying, is she?" "We have it under control now. Medicine can do real miracles today, Miss Ferasi, don't despair. We'll do all we can." Maris nodded. "Yes, I know. I guess my behaviour doesn't help." The older man smiled at her. "It's only human." He reached for a packet of tissues that apparently he had stored under his desk. "You're not the first one and you won't be the last." Outwardly, Thrawn didn't even flinch at the news, but he was affected by them and he was affected by Maris' sudden outburst of emotions. Yes, he had worked with humans for years now, but this was hardly comparable to working on a Star Destroyer with a strict hierarchy. "You said you have it under control. Please elaborate what exactly you mean by that and how you plan to go on from here. I would rather not repeat a meeting like this." The doctor nodded. "I understand that." He gave Maris a glass of water. "Dr. Reese is with her at the moment. They are stabilizing her immune-system. Once they managed that, it should only be a matter of days. Things do not look too grim. But setbacks like this happen when you deal with a patient whose genetic make-up is yet totally unknown." Thrawn nodded. "Understandable. Is there anything we can do? Anything or anyone you need? Anything at all?" For a moment Doctor Geneavelli wondered if that had been an offer for a bribe, but then disregarded the thought. "There is nothing you can do. We will call when her situation changes. You can pray if you believe in that sort of thing." "I already did that." Maris said. Thrawn looked at her in surprise. "I did not know you were religious." "I am desperate. If things look bad and all it takes is a miracle, I am willing to believe in a higher power." Ah, the last resort. Hope. Humans never gave up on hope. "I am afraid I have already another appointment." "I see. Thank you for your time."

Maris had gone to the visitors' window again and looked at their daughter. This was taken her down. It was hard to be angry with her when she looked so broken. "Maris, you need to rest." "I can't." "Staring through that window helps no one." "Maybe she senses that I'm here. That she's not alone." No, she does not, was probably not a good reply. "Maris?" She turned around and finally faced him. "You have to rest. Or at least get out of here for a while…We could have something to eat and talk." She sighed and then closed her eyes. "Alright."

"Thank you." Maris said and pulled her coat tighter. "What for?" He asked, sipping on a coffee as they walked down the road towards the next big inter-level turbo lift. "For getting me out of the hospital. I feel a lot better now and you are right, at the moment there is nothing I can do." "You also look better." Maris looked at her reflection in one of the shopping windows. She could see that she had been crying. Well, she had the right to cry! "Here we go." She said as they entered the turbolift. Inside she entered Level 06. "Six?" He asked, not without amusement. "Do I have to prepare for a fight for life or death?" Well, it was an open secret: the smaller the numbers, the worse the neighbourhood. Maris rolled her eyes. "It's not as bad as its reputation. And Corellia isn't Coruscant. I have lived here for ten years and nothing ever happened to me." Still, she saw Thrawn charge his blaster and then hide it in his long, black coat again. "You're crazy and you have a bodyguard." "Rukh stayed with Lenya." "What?" "I am alright now and as he said, the hospital has serious security issues."

With a ping-sound, the door opened. Level six really didn't look like much. It was pretty grey and the people looked more disillusioned than dangerous. "Hi, Lenn." Maris greeted an older man on the street. "Hello, Maris. New boyfriend?" "Old boyfriend." She answered while passing-by and waved friendly. "See. No danger. No fight for life or death." "This is it. She said after a three-minute walk. And don't judge it before you haven't been inside. It's small but pretty cozy." The hallway was small, a bit dirty and pretty steep. "Which floor?" "The fifth." "And there is no lift? Not even for goods?" "No. But the rent is cheap and I keep in shape."

Once she had opened the door, he had to admit that the flat wasn't too bad. It had a nice dark, grey floor, white walls and a nice view. "This is the bathroom." Maris said and opened the door on her right. No bathtub, but a nice water-shower, a toilet, a sink and a large mirror with hundreds of crèmes and perfumes in front of it. "In case your wondering, those belong to your daughter. ALL of them. She could open a drugstore. Same goes for all the shampoos, shower gels and soaps. This house will never run out of shampoo." Then she opened the next door that featured a kitchen and living room in one. In the centre there was a ladder. "I'll sleep upstairs. Like this, we have an extra room and I like to sleep under the roof. There's a roof light too, so I can watch the stars at night." She walked back out, towards the last door. "And this is Lenya's room. She doesn't want me to show it to people, but in this case, I make an exception."

The room was exceptionally small. A wardrobe, a desk with some bookshelves over it and a bed. Still, it was a nice room. On her wardrobe, there were a lot of photos of her and some other girls, probably her friends. Smiling broadly into the camera. There were also cards with funny quotes. The books were diverse from fantasy novels, over history books to professional literature about the origins of alien languages. "She is studying languages?" Maris nodded. "First year. I'm not sure how happy I am about that." He opened one of the exercise books on her desk and studied her handwriting. It was nothing like his, but she certainly knew how to work with words. "Ironic, I mean of all the things that she could do she studies foreign languages." Maris smiled when she thought about their "language lessons". Yes, she had thought about that too. "I have heard many children move out once they study and share a flat closer to university with other students. Does she have such a flat?" "Thrawn… I earn 8,65 Credits an hour in the diner and Lenya works on the weekends to be able to pay the tuition fees. We can barely afford one flat." "8,65 Credits an hour? Is that even legal?" Maris shrugged. "Minimum wage." He shook his head. "It's not too bad. And it's a nice flat!"

She grabbed his hand and led him back into the kitchen. "I even have a real kitchenette. Not all flats have that today. Come on, it's nice." He looked around once more. There were many photos of her and Lenya everywhere. On the cupboard, the sideboard and on the fridge too. Some funny magnets and notes and colourful coffee mugs and cereal bowls stood in open shelves. There were huge pillows and candles in the living area and some board games under a small Holoset. "It is a nice home." He said finally. Yes, this was a home, not a flat or a house. It had something warm and welcoming about it that, indeed, most houses lacked. His included. "Thanks." She smiled warmly. "That's all I wanted to hear."

Pasta always worked and it was cheap and quickly done. But you also had to be careful not to make a mess out of your clothes. "Are you still angry with me?" Maris asked over her bowl of pasta. "Yes." At least he was honest. Maris reached for her glass of red wine. "I'm sorry." "I know." "Sometimes I can't believe that your neighbours with the Emperor now. It's surreal." "We are not really neighbours, it just looks like it when you come from the central spaceport." Maris rolled her eyes. "That's not what I meant. You're such a big deal now." She reached for the plates and brought them to the sink. "No dishwasher?" "There's no need for it for just two people. Though your daughter would disagree."

It was getting dark outside and she returned with a candle and some crackers. "Let's move over to the couch. The chairs are getting uncomfortable after a while." She said and activated the heating. "Tell me about Lenya." "What do you want to know?" "Since I missed her whole life, I am not picky." She wasn't in the mood for a verbal fight. She was too tired and too exhausted for that. "Everything." He said after a while. "I want to know everything." Everything took about an hour.

"…I don't know. She is a lot like you, I guess." "The photos tell a different story." "She is emotional…and human in that respect, yes….but she's a smart cookie. A lot smarter than I am. She could become important, like you." She smiled. "What makes you believe you are not important?" "Ähmm…yes… pretty much everything." She laughed. "I mean look around. It's not like I ever did something big or grant or life changing." "You changed my life." For a minute she seemed to be bewildered, but then said. "I guess so. The knowledge to suddenly have a child must be a little overwhelming and…. life-changing." "No. I was not talking about that, but about our time on the Springhawk… You changed my life back then." There was a pregnant pause. "Chiss society is very strict. I always struggled with it. I never really fit in, bending the rules as much as possible. I told you that I was a merit adoptive, remember?" Maris nodded. "Yes." "The main function of merit adoptives is to "enrich" the bloodlines of the ruling families." He gave her a small smile. "So when you asked me to kiss you, I was perplexed. We cannot do that – simply be intimate with a person of our liking. Up to that point, sex had only been a part of a contract that shaped my life. …. I was, let us say "bonded" for the lack of a better word, to a noble Chiss woman when I met you." Maris gaped at him. "You never told me that!" "No. Because we do not talk about it. Chiss society is very uptight when it comes to intimacy…. You turned my world pretty much upside down that day." He reached for the wine and then fell back into his armchair. "I was disillusioned with many things at the time and sometimes questioned my decision to join house Nuruodo." He took another sip of wine. "I told myself I had been born a commoner and could live the life of a commoner again if that meant being free from all their rules and traditions. I was suffocating." Maris sat back on the couch, brought her legs up and then snuggled into a blanket, while carefully listening to everything he said. She was surprised by his openness. Maybe it was his way to repay her for the information she had shared about Lenya. She wasn't sure. Or maybe he had changed. "My …. bondmate was the youngest daughter of a respected noble family. She was nice to look at, but…" He shook his head. "…very distant and I knew nothing about her. We only ever had sex once and it was…awkward. Afterwards I thought I understood why nobody talked about it." He smiled and shook his head again. "With you it was different. Very different." Maris blushed, remembering their encounters in his quarters. It had been very intense. "A lot of things suddenly felt wrong. I guess you destroyed Chiss women for me that day." "Does that mean you didn't return to your bondmate?" Maris asked quietly. He shook his head. "No, I ended our bond. It is a rare thing, but not unheard of. Usually, it is initiated by the other side, but I had friends in high places, who granted my request. I struggled for a couple of more years and studied the Republic in great detail. Once the Empire was born, I left the Ascendancy and offered my services to Palpatine."

Maris studied his face. "You make it sound like I was the reason you joined the Empire." "Not the main reason. But one of many." "If that is the case, I have to atone to the galaxy for giving an evil man like Palpatine an asset like you." There was a pause and for a moment Maris was afraid that she might have angered him. Again. He had fought for the Empire; some of his men had died for the Empire. "Think whatever you want. But I would appreciate it if you would keep such opinions to yourself in my presence, Maris." He said finally. Damn it. Still, she couldn't believe it? How could he not see that the Empire was evil? Involuntary, she thought of Kessel, the Wookies and Jelucan. "Do you really, really support it? The Empire? A military dictatorship and a human-only-club. Present company excluded." "I do." "But why? I don't understand it." He sighed. "We will never see eye to eye when it comes to politics and nothing I say will convince you that the Empire is the best thing that ever happened to this galaxy. You did not like the Republic; you do not like the Empire. What you want is a utopia. I see your good heart and the pureness of your intentions, but what you want would end in chaos, anarchy and crime." "Because you only see the worst in people." "Because you only see the best." Again an uncomfortable silence filled the room. "Maybe reality lies somewhere in between," Maris suggested, looking for a compromise. "Even if we were to agree on that, your utopia would still be too naïve." "You thought differently when we were on the Springhawk." She whispered. "No, I did not. I never commented on your political ideas, which you misinterpreted as support. For obvious reasons I did not object." "You manipulated me." He shrugged. "I liked you and I wanted to keep you, for as long as possible. Would you have preferred it if I had told you the truth?" Good question. Would she? Would it have made a difference? A difference big enough to not share his bed? If so, her whole life would have been different… A life without Lenya. A terrifying thought that might very well become reality. Why hadn't the hospital called yet? Was that a good or a bad sign? "I am afraid." She said suddenly. "Afraid to lose her. I love her so much."

It had been some kind of silent agreement that he would stay the night and it felt odd. Maris was finally asleep and he looked out of the roof-light. In a strange way, he had never felt more "normal" in his life. This was how "normal" people lived. A small flat, a family, worries. She turned around and put her arms around him. So normal. And it felt good. "Maris Ferasi… what are you doing to me?"

Chapter 6: Pete?

The hospital had called this morning. Lenya had woken up. This was good news. Maris had been almost euphoric with relief, he himself wasn't sure how he felt about it.

The hot water ran down his body as he reached for one of the many shampoo bottles. Maris surely hadn't understated their shampoo supply. There were seven different bottles in the shower alone and still some more outside. Who needed that? Apparently his daughter. His daughter… The thought was still strange. Everything about this felt strange. Like a weird dream. He grabbed the bottle that looked halfway normal. Brown with a black and white label. The others were obviously made for female teenagers. Pink, white, one looked like a panda! Yes, it was good that she had woken up. But what now? Apparently, he hadn't been the only one Maris hadn't told. The girl had just come out of stasis and he wasn't sure if telling her right away was a good idea. On the other hand, he had to leave tomorrow and he would not go without her knowing. She was his daughter, for heaven's sake! The anger that had filled him ever since Maris had told him the truth flared up again. This was not some kind of trivial information. This was important. This was … she was a part of him! How could she have lied about something like this? But this conversation she would have to do on her own. She had been the one who had decided to keep this piece of information to herself and now she would be the one to tell her.

Luckily the shampoo wasn't too bad. The lime shower-gel also looked more or less gender neutral. Waking up next to Maris had been nice and confusing at the same time. They had never slept together in the sense of sleeping. Being with her was easy. They knew each other and had a past…She was the last person to care for money and glory, but she also had no idea who he really was ... Actually, he was the very opposite of what she wanted in a man, but the way she had looked at him this morning… He had to be very careful here. Maris was….

What the Sith!…This shower didn't even have unlimited hot water?! He sighed. Pandashampoo and cold water. What on earth was he doing here?

Lenya seemed alright and smiled when Maris entered the room and looked up from a magazine. Intergalactic Crime: True stories you won't believe. "Oh, my baby." Maris hugged her tightly. "Mum…your love is suffocating. In a quite literal sense." Maris let her go and kissed her on the forehead. "You have no idea how worried I was." She said down on a chair next to the bed. "You were on life-support, did you know that?" The girl nodded. "Yes, my throat is still scratchy." "Are you sure you are alright?" "Mum, I don't remember it, the chart says I'm alright and I'm on pain medication." She pointed up to an IV back. "Don't worry. It was probably worse for you than for me." Maris studied her for a moment. "Yes, it was a pretty terrible time. You have no idea what I went through. Actually, if you are feeling better, there is something I have to tell you." Maris was more than a little nervous. Absentmindedly, Lenya skipped through the magazine and then reached for her glass of water on the nightstand. "Sure." "Are you really sure? I mean, I could wait till tomorrow if you're not up for it. It might upset you." "Yes, tell me. I'm bored anyway." She put the glass back down. "Well, why not let me guess, my speeder is a total loss and the insurance company doesn't want to pay?" "No. That's not it." Unbelievable how she could think about her speeder now. She was lucky to be alive. "Honey, ….the doctors had real problems curing you because of your hybrid-nature... In the end, they depended on a sample of your father's DNA. I contacted him, he came to the hospital and we managed to stabilize you. It was a pretty close call." Lenya's eyes slowly left the magazine and then fixed her mother. "My father?" She asked slowly. "Did you just say my father was here?" Maris nodded. "Yes." Lenya just looked at her for a second. "Mum… My father? I know nothing about my father. You refused to talk about him. And now you telling're me he was here?" She asked, her voice slightly raised. "Yes." "Why? I mean it's not like he cared before!" "He didn't know you existed." "WHAT?! MUM! How…. Why?!..." "I was young and scared. And it was wrong. He was angry when I told him, but he came anyway. He saved your life." "God mum…." Then she paused and her eyes fixed Maris again. "Who is he?" "Well…you know him, I guess." "I KNOW HIM?!" Maris could literally see her daughter's mind working behind those green, big eyes. "Oh no…no, no. Don't tell me it's Pete." "Pete?" "Yes, Pete! The Pantoran barkeeper from Rusty's Bar in Level 5! You two have known each other for a long time! And I saw the way he looked at you on Penny's 45th birthday party!" Maris laughed. "That's NOT funny!" "No, I guess it's not." She cleared her throat and then said, as seriously as she could. "It's not Pete." Lenya was thinking again. "Then I don't think I know him." "You do." Maris took a deep breath. "It's Thrawn." "What Thrawn?" Lenya asked and lifted her hands in a questioning gesture. "Grand Admiral Thrawn." There was a brief pause and then she laughed. "Ok…. Grand Admiral Thrawn….Why not?" She shook her head. "Either my pain medication has some serious side-effects or you are on spice!" Lenya checked her medical board. Well, this was not the reaction she had expected. "Honey, I'm serious." "And I am serious too. Grand Admiral Thrawn. In your dreams! You wouldn't make it to the door! And what is more likely? That you had a thing with an Imperial Grand Admiral or that you and Pete got drunk and had an embarrassing one-night-stand? I think I go for the Drunk-Pantoran-Theory. Doesn't necessarily have to be Pete." She sighed. "And that's ok, really. It doesn't matter. You don't have to make up some famous guy to make me feel better." "It was not a drunken Pantoran who got your mother pregnant." An even, dark voice said from the door. Oh God… this had to be a dream. Maybe she was still in stasis? It was Thrawn. She had seen him on the HoloNews. She had never given him much thought, but she had a good memory, some even called it photographic and that was him. He didn't wear the typical uniform, but still - it was him, without a doubt. Grand Admiral Thrawn, standing in her hospital room. "Mum…?"

Chapter 7: From a world of sneakers and boots

Half an hour later, Lenya was still pretty much in shock and looked at the hospital blanket like it was the most interesting thing in the galaxy, but her mind was occupied by one thing only. Her father. Her father?! It still sounded unreal. As far as she knew Thrawn was the Empire's best strategist and the brain behind some of their most glorious battles. How could a man like that possibly be her father? "…and you drive too fast." "Mum, my speeder hovered in front of a jammed hyperspace lane when the cargo freighter crashed into our line, so it was hardly my speed that caused the accident." "That doesn't matter. Flying today is so dangerous and you are flying too fast." "Well, don't fly with me then!" "I'm not concerned about my safety, but yours, young lady. Are you listening to me?" "Yes, mum…I'm listening." But it was obvious that she wasn't too impressed by her mother's monologue. They had had this conversation before and no, she wouldn't fly any differently. Slowly she raised her eyes and watched her father, who was sitting in a chair opposite her bed. She didn't even know how to address him. Well, she would just avoid it then.

"Sorry, but I just have to know this now: How on earth did you two end up together? You are from totally different worlds literally as well as socially." Her parents looked at each other. "It was a long time ago." Thrawn said finally. "And things were very different back then. I was not a public figure – just an ordinary commander in what you would call the Unknown Regions. And one day I caught your mother smuggling high-priced furs and firegems." "Smuggling?" Lenya looked at her mother in what could only be described as pure disbelieve. "You were a smuggler?" Maris nodded and Lenya let herself fall back against the cushions. "This is getting weirder by the minute… But I am not surprised that you got caught." Of all the people in the galaxy her mother was the last to be a good smuggler. She just lacked the necessary criminal energy and was far too good-natured for it. "Smuggling, mum! Really? And you have the nerve to tell me not to fly too fast?! You're such a hypocrite!" "I was young and had the wrong friends." "So you got caught and then what? You developed a really bad case of the Stockholm syndrome?" Maris laughed. "Not that far from the truth though," Thrawn said from the other corner. "Smuggling is illegal, but it is by far not the worst crime out there. Your mother and her friends were the first Humans I had ever seen and I found myself intrigued. Never before had we encountered aliens that were so similar to us. Never before had I heard about the Galactic Republic and I could not speak Basic. I thought it was a great opportunity to learn." "In the end, I spend three months on your father's ship. We spend a lot of time together, trying to learn each other's language and well…" Maris shrugged. "So basically you didn't understand each other. That might actually explain a lot." "Well we understood enough to..." "No details please, thank you!" Lenya interrupted unceremoniously. She didn't need pictures. This was crazy enough as it was. And to make things worse, she knew that Anna, one of her fellow students, had a crush on Thrawn. Her father… What a day, her mother, the nicest person that she knew and that couldn't hurt a fly, had been a smuggler and her father was an Imperial War Lord! Crazy. She hoped there weren't any more surprises. Well, actually there might be. "Do you have other children?" She asked after a short pause, for the first time looking at him directly. "None that I know of." "I bet that sentence was funnier before." Lenya mumbled and Maris saw the Chiss smile. "Indeed." "So what now?" "Now we will see what…"

Suddenly the door opened and Dr. Reese entered with the nicest smile she could manage. "I see you are feeling better now." She reached for the patient's chart and her eyes quickly studied Thrawn. He hadn't returned to the hotel the other night. She was sure about it. She had wanted to check on her patient again, and had planned to tell him about the progress they had been making, but he hadn't been there. She had tried 20.00 hours, 22.00 and 08.00. At 9.00 Lenya had woken up and she had told the hospital to call her mother. Now he was here, with Ferasi, wearing the same clothes as yesterday, which highly suggested one thing – he had spend the night with his ex. Her eyes wondered over Ferasi again and again she seemed far too common for him. The hostility that only yesterday had filled the air between them seemed to have gone. And how on earth had she done that?

Handsome men didn't always end up with stunningly beautiful women. Indeed, she had noticed the phenomenon that handsome and alright-looking men often ended up marrying perfectly plain and ordinary women. But this awareness was loosely based on observations made in shopping malls and as far as she knew things at Imperial Court looked very different. And she knew Thrawn, or at least she thought she did. He enjoyed beauty in all its forms and in her time on board the Chimera there had been rumours about one or two women who had been seen coming out of his quarters and those had been far from common…. Maris Ferasi just didn't fit the picture, and as far as she could tell, they weren't married. So what was going on here?

The last days had been an emotional roller-coaster ride and when Thrawn had suggested a proper dinner, it had sounded like a good idea, now she wasn't so sure anymore.

Maris couldn't remember the last time she had dressed up, had worn a dress. It had been years ago. She was living in a world of sneakers and boots and she had always been more of a tomboy. She had a dress. A black sheath dress, hanging somewhere in her wardrobe, but she wasn't sure if it still fit. If not, she would have to improvise. Quickly she put it on. Thankfully, it still looked good on her, probably because the material was stretchable. Or at least that was her theory. It was the kind of dress that always worked: you could wear it to weddings, parties, dates, job interviews, everything really. It looked classy, was timeless and you could easily tune it with the right accessories. She had always been the practical type. She chose simple black high-heels and put on some make-up, but not too much. Maris tried to put her hair up, but it didn't work and thus she decided to simply wear it open. Like this she would also recognize herself when she looked in the mirror. The last part was tricky: accessories. The last time she had worn this dress, at a birthday party in a club two years ago, it had been with a green leather jacket and long, golden earrings, but somehow she doubted that that would be the right choice for tonight. In the end, she decided for no accessories, except for a long, golden necklace and a black, wide scarf that she put around her shoulders. She couldn't go wrong with that right?

He looked at her and she felt nervous. This was ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. "I have never seen you in a dress before." He said after a while. "No, you haven't. It's the only one I have and there aren't many occasions to which I can wear it, so I thought, why not?" "Why not indeed." Slowly he walked over to her. "Black always works on women." He said finally and brought her hand to his mouth. "You look beautiful, my dear." "Thank you." She sighed. "I was kind of afraid, this wouldn't do."

The fact that he hadn't commented on that, could have given her a clue that indeed it didn't. And she should also not be surprised to suddenly find herself in front of a store that she refused to enter. "I know that on that ship of yours you can tell people what to do, but not here. I don't want that." "But I do. There is something incredibly tasteless about fashion jewelry and every person with means and style will notice." Maris took off her golden necklace and the watch, wordlessly put them into her handbag and then looked back at him. "Better?" "Yes. Still, it would improve with authentic jewelry." "You cannot buy me." "Buy you?" He raised an eyebrow in a questioning gesture. "Sorry…maybe that didn't come out right. I did not mean to imply…" No, this was not what she had meant. She wasn't a woman one could buy and Thrawn was not the man to buy women, but, but. "…but…I would feel like I owe you something and I could never repay you. It's a really nice offer, but no thanks." "This is childish." Maris swallowed. This was somehow all going wrong. And yes, maybe it really was childish, still this wasn't her world… She couldn't do this. "I…I don't belong here. Maybe this was a bad idea. Please, take me back home." There was a long pause and the silence felt heavy. "I will take you back home if you want me to. But I did not mean any harm. I had no ill intentions. I thought after everything you went through, you had earned something nice. The restaurant I had intended is pretty posh, your trinkets would not have gone unnoticed." He pointed to the store. "And I would not have noticed this." "No, I guess you wouldn't." She still felt uncomfortable. "I have paid a lot more for women that meant nothing to me." Her head was spinning. What exactly did he mean with that? "And I…. I do?" "Yes, you do, Maris… Do you still want to go back home?" Another pause. This might very well have been the nicest thing he had ever told her. What exactly he meant with it was vague at best. Still… "No." She shook her head. "I really want you to buy me some jewelry that is worth several months of rent now." "You can always sell it afterwards, if that makes you feel better." "I might."

Thankfully there were no price-tags in the store. Usually, that would freak her out, but now it was exactly what she needed. She got a whole outfit. Earrings, a large ring and a broad bracelet. Gold and green, matching her eyes. More on the showy side of things, but a good combination with the simple dress. In the end, Thrawn had told them to adjust her makeup, which was now a lot thicker, especially around the eyes and perfectly mirrored her outfit's colours. She looked pretty good. There was no talk about money, only a black card that was placed on a glass-field and a signature and the thing was over.

"And? Was that so hard?" He asked in the speeder. "Yes and no." She bit her lower lip, nervously. "Thank you." "No need. You look stunning and rich. I doubt anyone will notice the shoes." "Shoes? What's wrong with my shoes now? These are simple black high-heels. They all look the same!"

The restaurant was exclusive and had a waiting list that was long and mostly ignored whenever someone really important was coming along. Maris had heard about it once or twice, but had never dreamed of eating here at one point. There were no tables outside and flowerpots hindered curious people from looking inside. Outside were heavily armored security guards and speeders with reinforced dura-steel doors and blaster-proof, darkened windows lined up to be parked. Some people even had their bodyguards with them in the restaurant, standing inconspicuously in a corner, monitoring everything and everyone for potential threats. Everything about the place looked expensive and immaculate. From the cloned, black leather chairs, over the silver-framed, large oil-pictures on the walls to the highly polished wooden floor.

A waitress broad them into one of the more closed off corners, to a table covered by a black damask table-cloth and set with expensive silverware and beautifully cut crystal glasses. On it, there was a choice of exotic fruits on ice-plates waiting for them and Champagne was served promptly.

And the restaurant seemed to have no prices too. Maris thought as she studied the menu. "Do I want to know how much the food costs here?" Maris asked, a little unsure. "Probably not." She typed her number on a datapad and then put the menu aside, before taking a sip of Champagne. She felt like a fish out of water and could only hope the alcohol would help to calm her down. "We could have gone to a normal place too." She said then. "It's nice of you to take me here, it really is. But I don't need all of this splendor." "I know. But this place is save." Save? Maris looked a bit confused. He gave her a small smile. "What do you think would happen if I were to eat in a restaurant with personnel that was somehow affected by one of my commands?... I never eat out if I can avoid it." He pointed to the window. "Blasterproof, not even a speeder could crush it. The whole personnel was screened. It is not all about the splendor. But it is nice too." He took a sip of champagne and then thoughtfully looked out of the window. Maris studied him for a while. She had never thought of it from that point of view. From where she came from, all of this looked like a show – to show off how much money one had. "Is your life really in danger?" He shrugged. "Everything in life comes at a price. And living on Level Six is not my style." "Obviously." She laughed and looked around once more. This was so far from Level Six...

At that point, the food was served, and their conversation turned to more general matters while they ate. Among other subjects, her life, the past, Dubrak and Jori, living on Coruscant and, naturally, Lenya. Bye the time they had reached dessert, Thrawn suddenly placed what looked like an official datapad on the table. "What's that?" "Lenya's official record. With your permission, I would like to add a detail." "And you can just do that? Here?" "No, I had it done this afternoon, we only have to sign it." Maris put her ice cream down and then played with her spoon. "Thrawn…Lenya is an adult now…she might not want people to know that you're her father." "It will be classified. It's common practice within high society. Many people decide to keep their children shielded from the public eye. Lenya will be in full control of if and for what purpose she wants to reveal it. My name can open doors." "I doubt she'll use it to open doors for her." "You never know and I want to do this." Maris nodded. She could understand that. And how could she refuse? He was her father and he had saved her life by coming here. "Of course." He took out a silver lightpen and signed the document at the end, before handing it over to her. With a swift movement, Maris too put her signature on the datapad. "Congratulations, you have a child." Maris joked as Thrawn put the datapad back into his jacket. "I had a child all along. But now it is official… and with that I am obligated to pay for her." "What?! No!" He smiled at her over the edge of the glass. "I think I found the only woman in the galaxy that does not want alimony." "Damn right, I don't!" "Hmm… I think we might have to figure something out there." "I start to understand why you cannot eat at ordinary places." She reached for her ice-cream again. He had planned this! He wanted to pay alimony! Like this, he had an influence on Lenya's life. Maris ice cream tasted good and it also calmed her down a little. She wasn't really angry with him. Upgrading Lenya's record had been his right and the responsible thing to do. She would have been hurt if he hadn't offered it. Not that she had ever doubted it. Thrawn wasn't irresponsible. The minute she had told him about Lenya, she had known that he would care. He was not the kind of man to not care. As far as she knew alimony had to be paid until the child was able to support itself. That would be what? Four or five more years? And if the money would help to pay the tuition fees and all those expensive books…that would be ok with her. But SHE would not touch it.

The waitress returned. "Anything else you need?" she asked and smiled at Thrawn. "No, thank you. Everything looks great." He returned and gave her one of these typical smiles. The woman practically floated back to the bar. Oh God, was she making things up now or had he really just flirted with the waitress? Right in front of her? She studied his face. "You enjoyed that, didn't you? Flirting with that woman?" "A little. Does it bother you?" "No!" Why had he done that?!

Chapter 8: There is no such thing as too much Champagne

"No, thank you. Everything looks great." Their eyes met and he saw her pupils dilate, a tell-tale sign that she was still attracted to him. Human eyes. Beautiful, but a weakness. Lying was easy, body language something they could learn, but the eyes were hard to control. "You enjoyed that, didn't you? Flirting with that woman?" He was surprised that she asked. The Maris he knew would have said nothing. She had become bolder. "A little. Does it bother you?" "No!" No, not at all... She had lowered her eyes almost immediately and they were now aimlessly wondering over the table. Human eyes, he had studied them for years and no matter what she said, her eyes told a different story. His little flirt had clearly taken her off balance and now she was nervous and uncertain. She did not hide it very well. But what had he expected? He was surrounded by criminals, War Lords, cold-hearted military men, and some pretty shady characters most of the time and Maris was just…. Maris. She was probably wondering why he had done that? She might even think that, due to his foreign background, he was not aware of how inappropriate that move had been. She always saw the best in people...She had a good heart. Women like that were hard to find. Even more so for a man in his position. People always wanted something of him. Maris did not and when, it was usually for other people, which had made it even harder to refuse. He had always been drawn to that pureness. Maybe because he was surrounded by so much darkness... or maybe because he liked to believe that he too had good intentions. And they had a daughter. They had created a life together. If he had known, his life would have been very different. He was sure about it… She was playing with her Champagne glass. She was uncomfortable. He shouldn't have done that.

He refilled her glass. "You are a waitress yourself. I am sure you are familiar with situations like this." "I don't work in an establishment like this and my customers are not like you either." She laughed. He really had no idea about life in the lower levels. The men there were neither as eloquent, good-looking or rich as he was. And so flirting was something to avoid - by all means necessary, starting with unflattering clothes. "Most of the time there is no flirting and when there is - it is more along the lines of 'I like your ass, do you like men?'" "Subtle." "Yes... it's nothing I enjoy." She said slowly, her mind obviously remembering one or two of those occasions. "And that for 8,65 credits an hour." "You have a good memory." She smiled. "It's not the best job. But also not the worst." Maris sighed and then finished her glass with one gulp. "It's getting late. I think we should go."

Thrawn grabbed her when she suddenly swayed. "Careful, Ms. Ferasi." He said, pulling her to him, his arms sliding around her waist. "People might think you drink too much." The mockery in his tone was of a nice kind and when she looked up at him Maris felt her knees go weak. God, she was still attracted to him, after all this time. It was time to admit it, at least to herself. She felt his warmth through her dress and it was strangely pleasurable. "How embarrassing. Am I really that drunk?" "Do you have to work tomorrow?" He asked while maneuvering her to the speeder. "No, my boss is pretty nice. When he heard about Lenya, he told me I could take all the time I needed. And in my line of work, replacement is easy to find."

Rich women in Holovids often said that there was no such thing as too much Champagne, but she had definitely drunken too much. Well, she wasn't used to it anymore. Going out, that was the past now. And she had never drunken Champagne before. People spend hundreds of credits for it, but to her it tasted just like sparkling wine, which went equally fast to the head. She looked at the speeders, the hyper-lanes and all the lights. Corellia was so beautiful at night... She was lost in thoughts and tired and had almost fallen asleep when she noticed that they were on one of the main lanes. "Where are we going?" She asked through sleepy eyes. "The hotel." "The hotel?" Maris sat up, suddenly awake again. "Thrawn... That's not where I live." "You can barely walk and want to climb up and down that ladder to your so-called 'bedroom'?" He asked unimpressed and turned into another lane. "I've done it before." "Then you are lucky to be alive." "Thrawn..." "You are staying at the hotel. When I can spend a night in a three-room flat for you, you can stay a night in a five-star hotel for me." That was true but... "I'm not sure if that's a good idea." "It is the only sensible idea, my dear."

The hotel lobby was massive and imposing. It resembled an atrium and had white marble on the floor and walls. There was a large drop-chandelier at its centre with hundreds of strings of glass-pearls. The oculus above created the illusion of an opening to the sky, but in reality, the dome probably used a hologram. Still, it looked amazing. The room itself was centered on three large archways and the furniture seemed to be of real mahogany and there was a long, dark-red carpet leading to the reception. Maris swallowed. She had never seen anything like it.

The people looked at him. Here, everyone knew who he was. Thrawn had always had a commanding presence, one that demanded undivided attention and respect. It was always there, he didn't need a uniform for it. It was very attractive, but it also made her feel small and insignificant in comparison. And now the people were looking at her too. She could almost hear their thoughts. 'Who is she?' 'Is he taking her to his suite?'

When the golden turbo-lift doors finally opened, Maris wordlessly entered beside him, and then the doors closed with a soft 'click' and the lobby no longer existed. Her eyes wondered to his right hand in which she saw a silver key-card, sending tiny shivers through her. Maris nervously chewed on her lower lip, biting back the thousands of questions that suddenly pounded through her.

Chapter 9: Smooth city lights

**A/N: NC-17 warning! If you don't like to read sex scenes, you better skip the whole chapter.**

What was she doing here? And why was she so nervous? Maris looked down at the beautiful carpet leading to the hotel room. This was not how it had felt yesterday. Maybe it was the hotel. When a man and a woman were in a hotel together, the brain automatically thought of one thing - and her's apparently wasn't any different. When was the last time she had been in a hotel with a man? A long time ago and that hadn't been too innocent either. Or maybe the champagne was messing with her head. She glanced up when he opened the door, studying his profile. He was an attractive man and there was probably no shortage of women wanting to be with him. And all of them were prettier than she was. She had never won any beauty prizes... Her best features were her green eyes and her brown mane and thanks to good DNA or pure luck she had remained slim and athletic, but other than that she was a normal forty-year-old woman, fighting the first lines around her eyes. Why had he brought her to the hotel? Was he just nice? Or was he interested in more? Maris shook her head, the thought was absurd and she was crazy to even consider it. Still, she could not fight it. He had been interested once...

The moment Maris stepped over the threshold and heard the closing of the door behind her, she knew that there was no turning back now. Fight or flight. She decided for the later and stepped deeper into the room, stopping in the middle of the suite, next to one of two black couches. She looked around. "This is pretty impressive." All in all, it was a beautiful, dark and heavy, male decor. In the centre was a square couch table with a reddish-brown top. The modern lamp looked liked hundreds of light-stripes coming down from the ceiling, and the walls were painted in some kind of fashionable chalky light-grey and higher above on these walls were large, stylish paintings. In the back, there was another dining room table and on her right were large, golden-framed windows, through which Corellia's city-lights smoothly fell into the room. "Do all rooms look like this?" Maris asked curiously. "I do not know, but I presume only the upstairs suites." She walked around and slowly let her hand glide over one of the many light-coloured cushions on the couch. On the opposite side of the room was a large desk in front of another large window.

Thrawn had walked over to the corner next to the dining table, had opened a glass cabinet and now poured himself a glass of what looked like dark, brown Whiskey to Maris. He lifted the bottle. "Want some?" He came closer and she shook her head. Whiskey was the last thing she needed. She was already too light-headed as it was. "Anything else I can offer you?" He asked, a smug smile on his face. The tension between them was suddenly so thick one could cut it with a knife. And again, there it was, this unshakable confident expression on his face. He was playing with her and it excited and repealed her at the same time. He was so much more dangerous than he had been 19 years ago. "I make you nervous." He stated. "Don't be absurd." She snapped, but felt her heartbeat accelerating when he moved closer. Maris had to force herself not to take a step backward. He was not making her nervous! "In that case I am delighted to be wrong." He was very close now and his deep voice was smooth, creating a strange, indescribable feeling in her gut. It felt strangely good. "A new experience for you?" Maris asked and arched an eyebrow. What was she doing? Flirting with him was dangerous. "Not new, but rare." He took a huge gulp of Whiskey. Maris studied his handsome face and suddenly found it extremely difficult to breathe. God heaven's, she was about to lose it. Get a grip, girl. Yes, he was flirting with her and yes, it felt good, but could she really do this? She hadn't had sex in years. Five years to be exact. Not that there hadn't been an opportunity, but it had never felt right. This here was so tempting. Commander Mitth'raw'nurudo. That name had meant a lot. It had a place deep inside her heart, but it had also been buried a long time ago. She had fantasised about him touching her, kissing her, undressing her. Especially during the first year after their separation. And now... Wasn't this just as pointless as all the other opportunities?

"May I?" She asked and pointed to the next door. Looking for an excuse to widen the distance between them. "By all means. Make yourself at home."

Maris walked to her left and then opened the next door. Her breath caught at the sight of a huge bed. Damn. She unconsciously bit her lower-lip again. This was were she, they, would sleep tonight... The strange feeling in her gut reappeared. No, this here felt nothing like yesterday. The bed was black and huge and covered with white sheets. There was an expensive black, leather chesterfield bench in front of it and on the nightstands were large glass lamps with black shades. It looked pretty posh and expensive. As did the bathroom.

Maris went back into the "livingroom". "Your hotel room is bigger than our flat." He said on the couch now, the Whiskey glass still in his hand, heavily leaning back against the couch, his legs spread wide open. She couldn't help looking. Oh God...She wanted him... How had all of this happened? And now, looking back, it felt like she had walked right into his hands. Had he wanted to take her here all along? Maris stared at the large desk. "You brought work with you?' She asked, eyeing some of the datapads, notes and document folders, all marked with the Imperial Emblem in the upper right-hand corner. "Yes." She looked over to him and saw him studying her body with predatory precision, all the way from head to toe. It was a slow, deliberate assessment, which was obviously intended to unnerve her, which, of course, it did. Maris forced her eyes back on the desk and picked up the first thing in front of her, a golden paperweight, hoping that it would distract her from his sheer animalistic presence. "At the risk of getting my face slapped, the man who attempted to flirt with you was right - you do have a nice ass." Maris felt a lump in her throat. Oh God. He got up, slowly, deliberately and she froze in place, her fingers noticeably tightening around the paperweight, like she was trying to crush it. Thrawn stopped behind her, put his arms around her tiny frame and then opened her fingers, releasing the paperweight from her dura-steel grip. "Careful." He whispered. "I believe this belongs to the hotel." Slowly, he put it back on the desk. They were so close now she could feel his hot breath in her hair. The Chiss put his hands on her waist and turned her around. Maris felt the edge of the desk against her back, when he took her face in his hand and tilted her chin up.

And then he kissed her. For the first time in 19 years. It was a slow kiss. One of intimacy and unhurried passion, of two lovers savouring the moment, delicate and filled with promise. "Thrawn...what ..." Maris tried when their lips parted, but he just brought his lips down on hers again. His mouth was warm and tasted of Champagne and Whisky. This time the gentle kiss quickly became more passionate and the desk dug more and more into her back. It didn't take long before Maris felt her breath quickening and when the Chiss pressed his pelvis against her, a slow moan escaped her lips. They both wanted it. There was no turning back anymore.

He kissed her shoulder and worked his way up to her neck, to where she was the most sensitive, he carefully bit down and a quiet whimper left her mouth. Instantly, he soothed the place with his tongue and her knees went weak. Maris reached for the desk's edge and held to it with both hands. Soon Thrawn found the zipper, pulled it down and then the dress fell to the floor, pooling around her feet. Wearing nothing but her bra and panties, Maris lowered her eyes and trembled when his hands slowly ran down her stomach. "You are a very attractive woman. Do you know that?" He opened her bra and her inner muscles almost clenched painfully when he stoked over her naked breasts. They kissed again and this time Maris tugged his shirt out of his trousers and slipped her hands beneath the cotton and then, for the first time in almost two decades, she felt his ridged stomach beneath her fingers again and almost fainted with lust. How she craved to feel his body under her hands, on top of her, in her. "I want you."

He needed no further encouragement. With one hand he cleared the desk, sending the datapats and papers crashing to the floor, before cupping her bottom with both hands, lifting her up on the desk. Maris cried out in surprise when her back was flattened against the desk's surface and then he pushed her further up. And there she was - as good as naked, lying on his desk and, Thrawn, still more or less fully dressed, was looking down on her. He lowered his head to her breast and closed his mounth around a nipple. "Ahhhh." A sigh of pleasure escaped her lips. She had fantasised about it, but this was so much better. She shivered and felt her nipples stiffening. Maris pushed her hands into his hair and arched her back, while heaves of pleasure spread through her entire body. She was shaking. She wanted and needed more. Much more. His mouth moved over her torso and then came down on the other nipple. He caressed it, flicked over it and then sucked it into his mouth. The wanting, the lust, became unbearably strong. "I think we should take these off." He murmured and dug his fingers into both sides of her shamefully damp panties. Just take them off! Maris lifted her hips for him to help him. She wanted him inside her. But he was in no hurry to pull down his trousers.

He kissed her again and then reach down and… Oh no! ...plunged a finger inside her. He slowly sucked her lower-lip and then smiled down on her. "Soaking. Wet." He said, pushed in once more and then entered a second finger. "And tight." Maris grasped. He plunged in deeper and slowly stroke her in a familiar motion. Reflexively, she spread her legs further. "Does that feel good?" "Yes." She moaned, while looking at him through half closed eyes, moving her hips slightly against the divine pressure of his fingers. Then he left her and pushed her a little further up, bend her knees and pushed her thighs further apart. "You better spread them wide." "What?"

He kept his hands on her thighs, sunk his head and then let the tip of his tongues swipe between her labia. "Oh God…" Maris gripped the edges of the desk. His tongue rubbed her clitoris in small circles, driving her mad. Again and again, he tortured her, gently sucking her swollen nub, stroking until her clit was simmering beneath his tongue, under constant moaning. Each swipe of his tongue made her more and more desperate for release. And when he plunged a finger into her again, she went wild. Arching up on the desk, pushing her hips against him, begging him for more. He added a second. "Thrawn…" She moaned to the sweet friction of his fingers. The Chiss leaned forward and kissed her neck while at the same time adjusting his fingers, touching her most sensitive spot while penetrating her, which brought her over the edge. She opened her mouth and a silent scream came falling from her lips when her muscles contracted around his fingers. Her orgasm shook her body hard, but he did not stop. If anything, he was more ruthless and plunged in deeper, prolonging her orgasm as much as possible, while wave after wave of orgasm rushed through her.

Then, when the last tremor of orgasm had faded, she went limp on the desk. Dazed. Slowly panting. Maris heard him getting up, straitening. "Are you alright?" She lifted her head and looked at the dark figure through drowsy eyes. "Yes." He smiled at her and his scarlet eyes shone more brightly for a second. "Good." He reached for his Whiskey glass and finished it with one gulp. "Because I am nowhere near satisfied yet."

"Leave it." Surprised Maris turned around. "It will never look better on you then now." He hugged her from behind and Maris looked into the mirror in front of her. Well, he had a point there… She was naked except for the jewellery and her high-heels. The only things Thrawn had not removed during their scene on the desk earlier. A part of her felt ashamed by her nudeness. She threw the high heels off. Better. "Feeling cheap?" Maris sighed and turned around. "A little. I'm not used to walking around like this." "It is easy to see." He put a strain of hair behind her ear. "Believe me, you do not look cheap." His face came down and his lips claimed hers once more. "You look amazing."

He pulled her body to his and their kiss quickly became more carnal. Maris felt his erection pressing against her through his trousers. Without thinking, she undid some more buttons of his shirt and then pulled it over his head. Maris almost caught her breath, instantly aware of his masculine strength and the pure male roughness of his trained body. It was even more impressive than she remembered. She slowly led her hand glide over his stomach and then brought her lips to his torso, breathing in his strong, male scent. He tilted her head up and kissed her again, and this time Maris boldly led her hand slide down to his erection.

Without a warning, he lifted her up and placed her on the bed. Maris leaned back and watched him undress. She craved every inch of him and the look in her eyes and the way she chewed her lower-lip while watching him undress, conveyed that message very clearly. Yes, they had made love before but that had been so long ago, it almost felt unreal. Like a dream.

He came to her and they kissed again, long, hot kisses, tongues sliding against each other. Maris closed her eyes and inhaled his male scent once more, a sensation that was now mingled with the feeling of skin on skin. Heaven.

Courageously, she climbed on top and pushed him in the cushions. She wanted to return the pleasure. But taking him into her mouth was a first. Gradually, she kissed his chest and made her way down to his impressive cock, before taking him into her hand, slowly stroking. Then bend down nervously and ran her tongue along his shaft, before touching the tip with her tongue, gently licking it, and then, finally, she took him into her mouth. She worked her way up, deeper and deeper, until she had as much of him in her mouth as she could and then she started to suck him, while stroking the rest of him. He closed his eyes and held her head gently while her lips and tongue went to work. He was perfect. Maris couldn't wait to have him inside her. She inhaled and took in as much of him as she could. She could actually feel him hit the back of her throat. She fought the need to gag and then sucked him hard one final time. "And where did you learn how to do that?" She smiled. "Let it be my secret." "I am not sure whether to thank or kill him." What otherwise would have been nothing but a funny comment, somehow had a weird aftertaste coming from the mouth of an Imperial War Lord...

He pulled her back up and Maris felt like her body was on fire at every place he touched her. His mouth on her neck, his hands sliding down on her ass. She arched back, her breath was needy. She was ready and so was he. He rolled them over and raised himself above her. This was it. Maris looked up at him and admired his strong shoulders, which shone faintly against the bedroom's dim light. He didn't ask for her permission, just held her and then plunged into her, hard and deep. "Ah…." She dug her nails into his shoulders. "You feel so good." He groaned. She was hot and ready and still swollen and slick from their previous encounter. Their hips were tightly pressed against each other and Maris felt her legs trembling and found it hard to breathe. She was so full, he stretched her to the very limit. "You are so wet." He kissed her mouth, sliding his tongue deep inside her. Devouring her. "So tight." He pulled almost all the way out and entered deeply again, burying himself inside her. Then he lifted her hips slightly and buried himself once more, deeper. Maris groaned. With half-closed eyes she gazed at him when he kept on going, slowly pumping in and out of her. "Ohhhh…" He kept it slow and his thrusts were strong, deep and deliberate and with each delicious thrust of his cock her excitement grew. "Open wider for me." He nudged her legs a little. "You're greedy, Grand Admiral." "You know me. I want it all." She smiled up at him. "Well, you can have it." She angled up her pelvis and stretched her legs further apart, granting him better access and he pushed in deep. "Ahh…" God, his hard cock felt so perfect inside her. It had been so long… "Oh God." She whimpered. "You're so deep. Oh…. You're going to make me come again…" Her back arched up as her hips met each of his thrusts in a slow rhythm, begging to be completely taken. "That is the intention." He took one of her nipples into his mouth and sucked it and then kissed her neck, before biting down on her shoulder. Yes, he remembered how she liked it...

Maris closed her eyes and held onto him. She loved the way he fucked her. He was so strong and powerful and there was something about the way he fucked her, like every thrust claimed her as his. She was his. In her heart she knew it.

A hiss escaped her lips and her head flew back into the pillows when he hit the most sensitive spot inside her walls. "Oh yes…" He fucked her harder now. "Don't stop." And he didn't. He pumped harder, deeper. He crushed into her ever-growing tightness with feverish strokes. "Maris..." Her name on his lips. All her nerve endings were on fire. She gripped the bed sheets for support. "Ah… Yes…..Yes…!" She moaned. She felt the first shockwaves. "I'm coming." She could feel it. "Thrawn….I'm coming!" The intensity of his thrusts was almost unbearable. Breathing became irregular, her heart was racing. And she started tightening around his cock, more and more, squeezing it, firmly holding him inside her. Her head flew back and her body arched up when orgasm hit her hard. Her walls contracting in waves of pleasure. Her movements became erratic and she lost all control over her body. "Thrawn!" Bliss. He grabbed her tighter. "Come inside me." She whispered and stroked over his back when she felt herself falling into the sweet state of ecstasy. It was all the encouragement he needed. He held her in a steel grip and plunged into her with unbridled fury - hard, relentless, dominating. "Maris…" He shuddered and with a low moan, spilled his warm seed into her.

They remained joined for a while and he was conscious not to crush her underneath him. He kissed her, looked down on her for a second, his scarlet gaze almost hypnotising, and then wordlessly pulled out. Maris bit her lower-lip and felt the bedspread underneath her getting wet. God, this had been the best sex she'd ever had. She was shattered, sweaty and tired. Her breathing became slower and she was sure that she would fall asleep any minute. With whatever had reminded of her consciousness, Maris took out the long earrings and placed them on the nightstand, together with the bracelet. The ring she kept on. Then she pulled the light, white blanket over them and kissed him a final time, before snuggling against his side. Exhausted, but satisfied she fell asleep.

Chapter 10: The End

The loud and obtrusive ringing of a comlink pulled Maris out of her sleep. The deepest sleep she had had since her daughter's accident. It wasn't her comlink, the ringtone was different. "Yes." She heard the Chiss leaving the bed and listened with half an ear, before he closed the bathroom door. Like she would prey on state secrets! Maris rolled her eyes, turned around and looked out of the window with half-closed eyes. Beautiful... During the night, the bright city lights had something magical. As a child, she had always liked to look up, but she had never seen Coronet from so far up. It was dazzling and surreal at once. A bit like the events of last night... Maris almost drowsed off, when she suddenly heard the bathroom door again.

"Sorry about that." He climbed back into bed and embraced her from behind. "Who was that?" "Captain Pellaeon. I told him to contact me if something happened." "I hope it's nothing serious?" "No, it is not." He kissed her neck and wordlessly slid his right hand into her left, studying their intertwined hands. It was fascinating how his eyes slightly lid up the night. "Tell me about your work. What is it like?" He sighed and fell back on his back. Their hands parting. "Stressful." He said and ran with his hands over his face, before thoughtfully looking up to the ceiling. Maris wasn't sure whether he was monosyllabic to avoid conversation or because he was tired, but she was genuinely interested in the topic and thus tried again. "Is it comparable to commanding the Springhawk?" "Hardly, but I doubt someone from the outside could see the difference." There was a small pause. "I have a lot more freedom now, but also a lot more responsibility and working with Humans was and is hard at times." Maris turned around again and faced him, while resting her head on her arm. "Are you cryptic on purpose?" "Alright, here is an example: We were in the middle of battle, which does not happen as often as you might think, and all of a sudden an Admiral thought he knew better and ignored my orders." "Outsch." "Yes...His ship was destroyed. There were about 37,000 souls on board and the operation's main objective was compromised. Such a thing would never have happened in the EDF." "Perhaps, but you went behind your Admiral's back too if I remember correctly." "That is hardly comparable."

They were silent for a while. "It must be hard for you...dealing with all our human imperfections." Absentmindedly, she ran her hand over his chest, while talking. "In every imperfection lies a strength." He said after a while. "There is Human compassion, affection, ... love." His hand reached for hers and he quickly brought it to his lips. "All of those are very strong and positive emotions. And you are curious, creative and flexible. Much more than the Chiss are. I appreciate those traits. And not all Humans I work with are as reckless as the man I just talked about. Captain Pellaeon, for example - the man who just called,...he is quite agreeable. We have worked together for some time now and over the years I have come to like and trust him. He is quiet, considerate, responsible and has a lot of experience." Maris smiled. "Sounds like a nice man. Do you have a photo of him?" "I do not like him that much." He actually laughed a little and Maris joined in. "Sorry." She laughed again. "I just thought... I have photos of colleagues on my comlink. From birthdays an such... I...never mind."

Usually, he wasn't one for pillow talk, but with Maris everything was so easy. So comfortable. With her, he could just be himself and open up, at least a little. He pulled her on top of him, kissed her and then leaned back again. "You still smell the same." "That's because I still use the same cream. Nivea soft. I like its fragrance." He chuckled softly when he pulled her closer again. "I doubt it is just the body lotion." "But it..." Her words were stopped by a lingering kiss. Gradually, her mouth yielded to his and their kiss became deeper, more passionate, setting every nerve on fire, until Maris was aware of nothing except his hard body underneath hers and the taste of him, sending hot shivers through her. He would leave tomorrow, but there was still tonight...

Sex was one of the things that became better with age. One of many things people never said, but it was true nonetheless. Sure, when you were 21 and you could do it all night long that was nice too. But it was often clumsy and hurried, experimental. But once you had crossed the magic 30, you know how to do it right. How to make it last, how to lose your mind the right way. Yes, sex became better with age. Maris studied his handsome profile while he was sleeping. Last night had been spectacular. Yes, they had done it again. She closed her eyes and some steamy flashbacks send butterflies in her stomach. Madness.

His eyes fluttered open. "Good morning." Maris smiled at him. "Good morning." He looked at her and then at the alarm clock. It was 07.43 hours. "I have to get ready if we still want to have breakfast. We are scheduled to leave the spaceport at 11.00 hours." "So early?" Maris asked shocked. "Yes." He answered flatly and then nodded to the shower. "You should go first. Women need longer and I can use the time to pack." "That makes sense, I guess."

Like in trance, Maris went into the shower. The hot water ran down her exhausted body, while she soaped up her long, brown hair with the hotel's silky shampoo. And then she put both of her hands against the tiles and let the water do its work, while she let her mind wander off... He would leave her. In about 90 minutes. She had known that. He had said that he would leave today. It was his duty as a soldier and an officer. Still, it hurt. Did she still love him...after all those years? Or was it just the memory of loving him that had led her into his bed again? She didn't know. Maris used both of her hands to knead the shampoo out of her hair again. Sith! The last time it had taken two years to get over Commander Mitth'raw'nurodo! Maybe a little longer. Maybe never... She grabbed the shower gel that was right beside her, put some in her hand and then began to wash her body. Even the bloody shower gel in this place was worth a fortune! She recognized it from a posh store in Coronet's central mall. It was an import from Canto Bight. Damn. She was not capable of making love just for the fun of it. She could not disconnect her feelings. And he knew that, for Sith's sake! Then she took the showerhead off and led the water run everywhere. Especially between her legs. Maybe this had been a stupid idea.

When she exited the shower his bags were already packed. "I thought you might want fresh underwear." The Chiss said and handed her a black box. Maris had never heard of a hotel that offered such services, but on the other hand, she had never been in a hotel like this. Still, she wasn't sure how to feel about this. "Thanks. Strange service though..." "You are overanalyzing, my dear." Maris raised an eyebrow, clearly questioning his statement. Anyway, who was she to complain? Fresh underwear was good.

Once the Chiss was in the shower, Maris used the opportunity to return the jewelry. She still felt uncomfortable about taking it, so she simply used an empty shoe bag, put the jewelry inside and hit it in his suitcase, under a pullover.

Twenty minutes later, they had breakfast, upstairs in their hotel room. Maris would have preferred to go downstairs, but Thrawn had already ordered. He did not seem to like public attention. She could understand that, still a more public atmosphere would have made it easier to say goodbye, at least Maris thought so.

Breakfast was excellent with a large number of choices. Maris was so hungry that she started off with Eggs Benedict, which she had never heard of before and totally loved afterwards. But one was more than enough for her. Then she had a crisp croissant with strawberry jam and French coffee. "This is amazing." Her eyes wondered over the table. "I would love to try the pancakes too, but I think I might burst then. Hmmm...maybe I'll try half a pancake." She said and put one on her plate. "It is good to see a woman with a healthy appetite for a change." Maris looked over to his plate on which she found a more traditional continental breakfast. "Well, it's not every day I'm spoiled like this." She smiled at him, but inwardly felt the clock ticking. This was so strange.

"So, what now?" Maris finally asked, when she couldn't stand it anymore. "Is there anything you want me to tell your daughter when I visit her this afternoon?" The silence felt heavy. "I will never be a good father and from that perspective, it might be a good thing that you kept your little secret for so long." He paused for a while and Maris looked at him with more than a little surprise. Wherever this was going, apparently, she wasn't the only one who was struggling with the what-now-question. "I am working so much, that there is a good chance that Lenya would hate me now if I had known and had, at least from her point of view, neglected her, putting the Empire first…" He took a sip of coffee. "Or maybe I would never have joined the Empire. I do not know." He put the cup back down. Interesting, Maris had never thought him one to contemplate the what-ifs…apparently, she had been wrong. "Like this, at least, I had no chance to fail… she is a young adult now and used to a life without a father. By the way, you did an incredible job there… as far as I could tell, she is a great girl." Maris smiled sadly. "Thank you." It was probably the first time that someone had told her that she was a good mother. Except for Lenya on mother's day of course, but that didn't really count. Involuntarily, she had to think of some of her childish presents. Lenya insisted that those belonged into a bin now, but naturally she would never do that.

"I have to leave now." He stood up and went to the desk. "My lawyer will call your lawyer about the alimony." Maris had gotten up too and pulled her scarf around herself now, getting ready to leave herself. "Chuma ieal hel volpahac e majal. *Thank you for breakfast and dinner.* He turned around and looked at her. "Cheunh? I am surprised you still remember it." "I thought I should use the opportunity after putting so much effort into learning it." "True. Mehna moja geeh chuca nie." *There is no need to thank me.*

He returned with a piece of paper and gave it to Maris. "I want Lenya to have this. It is the number of my personal adjutant. Being half human I guess she … does not know how to feel about yesterday's news yet. But should she eventually come to the conclusion that she wants contact… I am willing to facilitate that." Slowly Maris turned the card in her hands. "I am not sure if she will call…but this card will show her that you care." "It seems like nature gave me no choice on that battlefield." He stated matter-of-factly. Maris smiled. No, naturally he couldn't just say `I do´ like everyone else. "My adjutant will have her name on his list, her messages will reach me, usually within a couple of hours. As will yours." Suddenly, Maris looked up at him. Surprise written all over her face. "Mine? Why?" "Because you are the mother of my child and I want you to be able to reach me if something like a speeder accident happens." He reached for her waist and pulled her closer. "And like this, there will also be no excuse to not inform me should other important things occur." Maris felt her cheeks burn. "That is… unlikely and you're leaving now." His head came closer, closer. And then, closer still. "Yes, I am leaving…" He whispered. "…. but that does not mean that I do not wish to return." "Wh…" Maris started, but before she could utter a counter-argument, he silenced her with a kiss.

***Epilogue***

Thrawn looked at the large, white gravestone. Maris was gone. Like so many before her. Thrass was still an open wound, Pellaeon had always been older than him and he had had a good death. Eli, that had affected him too, but Maris that hurt… He regretted that he hadn't been able to be with her during her last hours, as there had been important work, for the Empire, for the living. But the children had been with her. She hadn't died alone. He hoped she hadn't been afraid. Humans were almost always afraid of dying, of the unknown. He had seen it countless times in their eyes. Maris… He had never really contemplated what it meant to belong to a long-lived species, compared to Humans. In the end, what it really meant was watching those close to you die. A natural part of living, out of his control. So why was he so upset? Had he spend too much time with humans? Or was it because of the children's undisclosed anger towards him. They couldn't understand. Their human pain and love for their mother made them blind to reason at the moment, but Maris would have understood. She always had. The children would probably say that it wasn't understanding, but forgiveness and that she was too good for him, that he didn't deserve her.

Maris. Maris Ferasi. A name with a past. Maris Ferasi. He remembered her vividly: her thick, brown hair that, at every given opportunity, had disengaged itself from the hairband. The big, green eyes that had looked at the galaxy with an ease, unknown to him. Her bright laugh, whenever his Basic had taken on an odd turn and her voice telling him enthusiastic stories about the Jedi and other tales about her part of the galaxy. Maris Ferasi. The first human female he had ever laid eyes on. Young and full of strong, positive emotions. Maris Ferasi. Gone…

And there it was, the pain of loss. Yes, he could feel and he had felt – for her. She had been so much more than his wife. She had been his anchor, his conscience, the positive center of his existence for so many years that maybe he had taken her for granted for too long. He dreaded to think about what would have become of him without her. And there was regret, for things left undone, promises broken and things left unsaid. Maybe the children were right after all.

"Forgive me, my love."

THE END

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! :) If not, please don't tell me. I like it!