Disclaimer: I do not own Wheel of Time or ay characters involved, or teletubbies, or Super Mario, or Candy Land. But I DO own Mr. Gillies, Mr. Middletone, and Ms. G, and Minstrel Martin. They are my slaves. Bwa ha ha ha ha. Oh I don't own Barney either. Enjoy. :D

The Wheel of Time turns, and ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the Third Age by some, and Age yet to come, and Age long past, a sniff rose in the common room of an Ebou Dar inn. The sniff was not a beginning. There are neither beginnings or endings to the turning of the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning.

The sniff came from Egwene al'Vere, who sat waiting in an inn in Ebou Dar (easy for you too say :D). Nynaeve and Elayne were always late when the matter at hand was not a life-or-death situation. Her long dark hair was very smooth, and it glistened in the dim light of the inn's common-room. As she glanced around, she noticed a girl sitting cross-legged on a bench, drinking shot after shot of liquid. Probably oosquai, Egwene thought. The girl looked awfully familiar though... Egwene got up and walked over, and as she drew nearer her suspicions were proven. Min Farshaw sat glaring at the row of men across from her, and she put back another round of drink. They all grunted disbelievingly, and their represenative reluctantly brought the shot glass to his mouth. He managed to drink it all, but then he fell back in a dead faint.
"Ha! That's 20 silver marks, you fools!" Min cried, and the men narrowed their eyes as they dug in their pockets for coins. Once it was all handed over, they walked sullenly away, and Min cackled to herself. It treats the bloody woolbrained fools right, she thought.
"Min?!?" Egwene exclaimed. Min whipped around, half-drawing knives from her sleeves until she noticed the speaker.
"Hullo, Egwene!" Min grinned drunkenly.
"How many shots was that????"
"Oh, only about 3." Egwene raised an eyebrow at her.
"Okay, 23. I needed some money, okay?????" Min frowned as Egwene sniffed. Suddenly the door to the inn burst open, and Nynaeve and Elayne walked in. Egwene rounded on them.
"Why are you so late?? I have been waiting for you for nearly an hour!" Egwene glared at them and looked very dangerous. Both other women shrunk back a bit.
"Sorry, we were...delayed. We found Rand in the street...he is staying at the same inn we are," Elayne sighed. Min whipped around again, from where she had been stroking her new coins and silently cackling.
"Rand? Where? Let me at him!"
"Not here, Min," Nynaeve snapped, rolling her eyes. "What is with you?"
"Oh she's drunk," Egwene replied matter-of-factly.
"I am not drunk."
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are."
"No, I'm not." This could go on forever, so Egwene finally resorted to saying
"I am the Amyrlin Seat, don't argue with me, you're drunk."
"Fine," Min said, her caring level dropping, and she went back to stroking her coins.
"Anyway," Nynaeve said, "Why did you want to meet us in the first place?"
"Well, I just haven't seen you in a long time and I want to chat." Nynaeve eyed her suspiciously, getting a grip on her braid in case Egwene made her mad and she needed to pull it.
"About what?"
"Just...stuff," Egwene said honestly, and Elayne, being the brainless (yet amusing) person she is, giggled and said,
"Okay! *heeheehee* Where are we going?" The three women decided to go outside in the street to try and catch a carriage. They decided to bring Min along too, because she is cool and also to drunk to remain alone (she somehow managed to get five more drinks while the others were talking), especially when Rand was within 2 miles.
They dragged Min away from the drinks and went outside. The smell of salt water wafted through the air, and Nynaeve nearly gagged in rememberance of her sea-sickness. They hailed a random green carriage and got in. It was not unlike hailing a taxi in New York. As Nynaeve got in, she remembered that green was Lan's favorite colors. Where was he? As Egwene got in, she thought that she could have gotten a much more decent carriage if the man had known she was Amyrlin. How dare he not offer her a better carriage! Sniff. As Elayne got in, she thought about how cute puppies were, and how cute green puppies would be. Awwww! As Min got in, she thought about the silver coins in her breeches pocket and cackled, earning her an odd look from Egwene, but Min did not care- she was rich! Bwa ha ha ha ha. The carriage rolled along and the women chatted randomly about...nothing. Finally Min and Elayne were caught up in talking of Rand and how great a kisser he was, and Egwene and Nynaeve were left staring.
"Oh, really? He really likes my red dress, with the coral lipstick..."
"Wow, he likes my breeches and lack-of-makeup!"
"Really? That is sooo cool!"
"I know!" They both giggled, though Min's sounded more like a "bwa ha ha ha" and Elayne's sounded more like an "I am obsessed with Rand, I hope nobody knows".
"So, Egwene, are you still besotted with Gawyn?" Min asked, her drinks wearing off by now. Egwene blushed, and then nodded.
"Yes. I have bonded him as my Warder." They all ooh-ed and ah-ed.
"That's a big step," Elayne said knowingly, though she knew nothing about it at all.
"...Yeah... I guess," Egwene replied. Min just sat trying to think of what Elayne meant. Egwene, wanting the subject off of herself for one of the few times in her life, asked,
"Nynaeve, are you still hopelessly in love with Lan?" Nynaeve, caught off gaurd, snapped
"It is not hopeless!" Min laughed.
"Ha! You are! Hahaha! I am so right! Go me! Haha Rand likes smart ladies, Elayne, I win!!!! " Min was very proud. Elayne didn't get it, so agreed. Egwene, however, cocked her eyebrow and sniffed again.
"Of course it's not hopeless, I meant... Well anyway, have you seen him since Moiraine died?" Nynaeve blushed, then frowned.
"...No." Suddenly the driver opened a flap in the front to look back at them and tell them about some historical landmark, but they were all surprised when they driver said,
"That is so strange! I thought Myrelle would have passed the bond onto you by now." They all jumped, Nynaeve especially. Moiraine was peering back at them from the drivers seat of the carriage, dressed in a simple dress with a big brown engineers hat.
"Moiraine! Sedai. I thought you were..." Egwene began.
"Moiraine! Ohmigosh! Rand isn't crazy yet! You still have time!" Elayne squeaked.
"...Moiraine? Nice hat!" Min added, a little late.
"YOU!" Nynaeve accused.
"No, I'm not. Good, I'm glad he's not mad. Thanks, I got it 50% off at Filenes. Yes, me," Moiraine answered, somehow able to look cool and composed in a stupid engineer hat. Nynaeve glared at her.
"How long have you been alive? Where is Lan?" she demanded.
"I don't know exactly, but I know he is in Ebou Dar."
"Hey, why didn't you come find us when you came back to life?" Elayne wondered.
"Elayne, shut up," said Nynaeve. Elayne stuck her nose up in the air and sniffed, inhaling a random cantaloupe that was in the carriage with them in the process. She sneezed it out, and Min started laughing again. Egwene was still in shock, so she did not notice any of it.
"Where in Ebou Dar? Near here?" Nynaeve asked, pulling her braid as she stared down Moiraine, hating her for not speaking faster.
"I don't know! Light, you are impatient, aren't you?" Nynaeve sniffed, and Egwene suddenly un-froze.
"You sniffed at Moiraine Sedai! That is *almost* disgracing the Tower! *gasp*!" Egwene gasped.
"I don't care. Moiraine, I know you know where he is. Tell me."
"Make me." Moiraine stuck her tongue out at Nynaeve, which was a very un-Aes Sedai thing to do.
"Make me make you!"
"Make me make you make me!"
"Make me make you make me make you!"
"Make me make you make me make you make me!"
"Make me make you make me make you make me make you!"
"Make me...uh...make me make... er...oh well, it doesn't matter; I don't know where he is, Nynaeve!"
Nynaeve glared at her, and demanded that she let her out of this filthy carriage. Moiraine stopped as told.
"Who is coming with me?" she
asked.
"I will! I will!" Min shouted.
"Oh, me too! Maybe we will find Rand," Elayne decided. Egwene was pained with decision, but finally decided to go with Nynaeve. Moiraine sniffed.
"Light, you're dead for a book and a half, and no one wants to talk!" With that she sped away in her bumpy carriage.
"Well. Where should we look first? Too bad Perrin isn't here, he could sniff him out for us. Or, for me," she added when Egwene gave her an impetuous look. Suddenly a lightbulb went off above Min's head.
"I know! I have a pack of weasels with the best sense of smell around. They can hunt him down in no time!" Min exclaimed.
"Okay..." Nynaeve said. It sounded far-out, but she would do anything to get the heart of her heart back.
"Weasels!!!!!" Min cried, and she called out their names as little brown weasels shot out of nowhere to circle her.
"...Bob, George, Fred, Joe, Alfred, Paul, Cookie, Betty, Mildred, Chiquita Banana, and...Rand jr!!!!!!" she said happily. "Alright, you weasels... go get 'em!" Bob, George, Fred, Joe, Alfred, Paul, Cookie, Betty, Mildred, Chiquita Banana, and Rand jr ran off, and Min followed them. Egwene, Elayne and Nynaeve exchanged looks before running after her. As they chased after the faithful weasels, a man dressed in orange and green checkered clothes suddenly skipped out of nowhere and caught the weasels in a big net. He was carrying a harp-ish thing.
"Who in the Pit of Doom are you?" Nynaeve demanded.
"Minstrel Martin!!!!" he declared.
"Get out of my way. I am looking for the love of my life."
"..How bout no, Scott?" he said sincerely.
"My name's not Scott," Nynaeve growled.
"Me neither," Min said.
"Me neither," Elayne said.
"Me neither," Egwene said.
"Okay, well, you still can't go by. I am going to kill you now. Prepare to die." Minstrel Martin drew a plastic butter knife from deep inside his harp-thing.
"Okay, okay, kill me... but please, let the weasels go free!" Min wept.
"No." The Minstrel advanced, and they all turned to run. Min was saying, "Give me weasels, or cotton candy.. or give me death!!".Nynaeve tripped and twisted her ankle, and felt the butter knife scratch her bare leg. She waited for it all to end, when suddenly she heard a high-pitched scream of outrage and the knife flew off of her, and Min caught it. Nynaeve sat up and saw Lan dueling with Minstrel Martin. We won't go into details, but Lan won, and Minstrel Martin was soon a bloody pulp laying on the street. Elayne realized who it was, and started giggling madly until she fell over. Min had rushed over to the net and cut it open, and the weasels poured out of it. Egwene was staring at Lan, who rushed over to Nynaeve. Nynaeve was staring too, and was not prepared for him to scoop her up into her arms- you know, the whole carry-over-the-thresh hold deal.
"....Lan!" Nynaeve managed. "What are you doing here? Who was that man?"
"Minstrel Martin. He comes from deep within the depths of the GAP store." Nynaeve shuddered. Vile place.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
"I came to save you."
"How did you know I was going to need saving?"
"I have a sense for these things," he shrugged.
"Okay. Well, I have forgiven you about Myrelle, just so you know, and I still love you.Forever, and ever, we never will part and I will love you.." Nynaeve blushed as she realized she was going off in a song from the 80's, although the 80's had not happened yet.
"Good! I love you too!" Yay, Nynaeve thought. Suddenly he kissed her, and Egwene, who had been staring, dropped her eyes. Elayne was still doubled over giggling, and Min was still rejoicing with the weasels, singing "We are family", so nobody saw. Egwene assumed they were done and looked up again, but they were still fastened passionately together at the lips, so she dropped her eyes again. This happened three more times, but the fourt time she looked up Nynaeve was simply gazing into his eyes. Egwene stood up and tapped Nynaeve on the shoulder.
"Nynaeve? Should we get going now? Nynaeve?" Nynaeve did not move. "Lan?" Finally she slapped Nynaeve, and Nynaeve came-to. She did not even care, or berate Egwene. She simply said,
"Oh, yes. Let's go back to our inn." At this Elayne and Min both came running over.
"Yes! Let's! Oh, please let us go back to the inn." Egwene was suspicious at first, then remembered that Rand was staying at the same inn Nynaeve and Elayne were staying at.
"..Okay. Mush, you huskies." Min and Egwene had to drag Elayne along, for she kept going off in random spazzes of giggling, and Lan still carried Nynaeve. She claimed her ankle hurt, but Egwene did not think that was all of it.
When they got to the inn, the first thing that Elayne did was run to the innkeeper and demand what room al'Thor, Rand was in. He said there was no such person. She frowned and looked at the list, and smiled when she saw Almighty and Powerful Dragon Reborn, the in room 94.
"Min! Let's go!" Elayne said, and hurried off to find room 94, Min trailing behind with weasels randomly draped on her shoulders.
Egwene asked the keeper for a room, and she ended up in room 86. It turned out that Nynaeve and Elayne's room was room 90, so they were all in the same corridor. Egwene went into her room and declared that she was up to important Amyrlin duties. Nynaeve and Lan disappeared into her room.