There is a story behind this. I pulled it out of nowhere. The end. It is not going to be continued, but am am totally happy with it.
And with that, the traditional disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck. Let's get this show on the road, hm?
Your name is Nepeta Leijon. Err, it should be Nepeta Leijon. You know that you lived an entire lifetime being named Nepeta Leijon.
Except, your name is Katina Walker. You do not live with the cutest and bestest kitty you have ever s33n, Pounce de Leon, because there is no Pounce anymore. You live with the two adult humans that are your purrents. This still confuses you sometimes. Most of all, your blood is not olive green. It is bright red like Karkitty's (who was never actually that good at hiding it) was last time you saw him. Which was never.
Katina is an okay name, because it reminds you of him.
Today, you went to school. You learned some furry boring human things, got confuronted by a few bullies at lunchtime, and then came back home to an empty, not-a-cave-in-the-least hive.
You do not have a shipping wall because you don't have any furiends to ship. Or, not any HUMAN friends.
Your troll friends are so so real to you, but you are beginning to doubt they efur even existed. You miss them. You miss Tavros and Aradia and Kanaya and Terezi and Vriskers and Fefurry and Karkitty and Sollux (you didn't really know him that well though). You even miss Gamzee. Not really Mr. Ampurra, since he was cr33py.
Most of all, you miss your beloved Meowrail Equius. You don't have anyone to console or pacify now. And you hate it.
Your name is Nepeta Leijon, and you remember.
######
You are Eridan Ampora. You are Eridan Ampora. You are. You are!
This is the thought you desperately cling onto during evvery wwaking hour. Despite wwhat the memories in your human think pan tell you, you are not Joshua Dailet. Eridan. Ampora. You were a seadwwelling troll from Alternia. Should be one still. But you aren't anymore. You havve no fins, or gills, or a collapsing and expanding bladder based aquatic vvascular system. You are human now.
Being human is awwful. You can't wwear capes in public wwithout getting real wweird looks. Your skin is the wwrong color. Horns are a thing of the past. So are fangs. Evven your beautiful blood has left you.
The wworst part is that you knoww exactly howw to be Joshua Dailet. You are not him, but you are at the same time. He does not havve any of your genocidal tendencies, but you are sure that they should be there. It's all vvery stressful, and this time you don't havve anyone at all to turn to. You wwish Kar or Kan was there. Fef still probably wwouldn't talk to you.
You are Eridan Ampora. You remember.
######
You are called Kanaya Maryam. Or, at least, you were once called Kanaya Maryam.
But you are not Kanaya anymore, if your matronly human-lusus is to be believed. No, you are now called Gwenda Hadley, and you utterly despise that fact. After all, you were Kanaya for so long. More than six sweeps. You have been Gwenda for ten Earth weeks (although your body is evidently five sweeps old) and therefore should not have to desist in being Kanaya.
The Human-lusus frets over you, much like you own virgin mothergrub lusus once did. Much like you yourself used to fuss and meddle and pester Vriska. She believes that you are not behaving like yourself.
You are behaving as you always have. You cannot say as much for Gwenda, though. Gwenda was not as calm as you, nor quite as intelligent.
Most of the time, you ignore Gwenda. She does not truly exist as far as you are concerned. There is only you, only Kanaya, and you refuse to let yourself be changed by this planet. Even if you do not possess a chainsaw/lipstick or even just a regular chainsaw.
You are called Kanaya Maryam, and you remember everything.
######
You're still Gamzee Makara. Not Wendal, or whatever mother****ing name they're calling you.
Earth is full of miracles, you guess. Not as many miracles as Alternia, really, but hey, you won't judge. It's all cool up in here, bro. If those tall human ****ers say you're their son, that's fine with you.
At first, you didn't really like them callin' you that shit. Your lusus may not be there, but he's still your mother****ing lusus, ya know?
Then they bought you some faygo (earth has your miraculous elixir!) and you decided they were a couple of nice mofos. Even though they have these weird looks on their faces when they look at you, their faces can do whatever mother****ing makes 'em happy. You are totally cool with it. You are cool with those old brothers they have you see sometimes, with their notepads and shit. Those ****ers are pretty damn funny! All up and asking you questions all the time.
The one thing you don't like is that you have no idea where all your pals are. You tried asking one of the old bros for your best friend one time, and they just stared at you and were all like "dUdE, wHo'S kArKaT?"
And you were all like "sHiT, mAn! hE's My PaLeBrO, yA dIg?"
They never let you see Karkat. Or Tavbro. Or any of those other mother****ers that are your friends. Instead, they just wrote some shit on their notepads and asked you more ****in' questions.
You never stopped being Gamzee Makara, and you remember all that shit.
######
Your name's Terezi Pyrope. You are in hell.
It's hell because Yvette Baudin has her eyes, and her nose is not strong enough to pick up color yet. And she is you, now. Your name's also Yvette Baudin. She liked ballet and almost nothing else, before you took charge. It struck you as boring.
The humans you live with (your new 'parents') do not pay enough attention to realize how different Yvette is now. You are now.
Even though you were certainly never Yvette before, you have complete access to her thoughts and memories. She does not notice you because she is dreaming. The dreams are not ending for her. They will never end. You feel a little bad about that, but not bad enough to stop your control over her life (you don't know how to, anyways).
You try to stay out of Yvette's respiteblock, because it's all too bland in there. Too much pink. Not enough justice. Not a scalemate in sight.
What kind of sad life is that? As soon as you get the chance, you will build yourself a new hive in the tree in the backyard. Those Parent people won't care, you are quite certain they never really paid that much attention to their daughter anyways.
Already they've both gone off on a business trip together. You plan to go shopping soon, hopefully without being tailed by Yvette's overprotective older 'brother', whatever those are. He's very vigilant, and you think he's catching on that you're not really the girl that's supposed to inhabit this body. Or maybe he just thinks she's gone bonkers. That very well may be the case.
Your name's Terezi Pyrope. Your memories tell you that this is hell.
######
Your name iis Sollux Captor. You do not want two giive iin.
When you... woke up, you guess, iit was a huge shock. Piinkiish flesh, not any horns two speak of, and your two-fold viisiion was miissiing. Not that you really cared that much about that.
Iit was also a shock two learn that the body had iit's own name. Jeffry Burrow. You thiink iit's a dumb name, and you told Jeff's genetiic materiial suppliiers as much. They were confused. Eviidently, theiir son does not usually backtalk. He also does not usually have biipolar diisorder, and does not spend so much freetiime locked away iin hiis room, codiing away for hours on end.
That was one of the saddest thiings you've ever heard.
Whatever. You kiind of hate the entiire siituatiion. There iis no way you have spent your whole liife as a human, no ****iing way. You diid not iimagiine Alterniia, you diid not iimagiine your race, and you sure as hell diid not iimagiine up your friiends.
The gene suppliiers are nervous whenever you're around. They are worriied about you, or Jeff two them, and at least a biit suspiiciious at the sudden change iin personaliity. You have never wanted two see KK, FF, AA, or even ED more iin your entiire liife. You are begiiniing two lose your cool, and that iis just NOT an optiion.
Your name iis Sollux Captor. You remember everythiing, and you plan on keepiing iit that way.
######
You are Feferi. Feferi Peixes. You are landlocked.
It is horribubble to look at your reeflection in a mirror and not sea any gills! From what you know, there are no seadwelling humans at all! They are all landdwellers. You don't reely have anyfin against landdwellers, but you miss livfin in the water. The best thing about human society is their lack of hemospectrum. But that's only because they all have the same color blood. What is up with that?
Earth is just so different than what you're used to! And the adult female who you live with (your sister?) doesn't know what to do with you!
She has been calling you 'Marlee'. That is the name of the gill whose body you are livfin in. You are reely sorry aboat stealing her whole life from her, but you can't control it!
Oh, where are your fronds? Why are you Marlee now, instead of Feferi? You want to go back home to your lusus, because you love her efin though she's always so hungry and just so huge. You miss your cuttlefish and your hive and your goggles. You miss being heiress to the throne and you miss all the fishies you were going to cull. You miss your fronds. Especially your fronds.
Marlee had some fronds of her own. They do not understand that you and sea are not one and the same. Not one of them can evfin tell that you are not the person they knew! It is so glubbing awful and it makes you eel worse!
You are Feferi. Feferi Peixes. The memories have bubbled to the surface. Yes, you remember -EV-ERYTHING!
######
You are still Tavros Nitram, but it isn't that bad being human.
After all, the human you, uh, or at least, the human body you are controlling, had working legs. Real legs! Reagan is so lucky in the, uh, walking department. Much more lucky than yourself. He's better with stairs, too.
It makes you feel really bad that you are, uh, basically stealing his whole life from him. Also, his no doubt colossal stores of self-esteem have been replaced with yours. That is not something you'd, um, wish upon anybody.
The only bad thing about being a human is everything you miss from being a troll. Which is to say, uh, a whole lot of stuff.
Like your lusus. You missed him a whole lot when he died before too, but at least Kanaya made you that doll so you had something to remember him by. You don't have that anymore. You miss fiduspawn. The human versions are a lot less satisfying. You miss your friends, and, uh, even the ones that you didn't know very well. Nepeta was a good friend, for one. You miss her, most definitely.
And you miss Aradia, uh, the old Aradia before she became a robot. The one who was your Flarp partner. The one who was always inviting you out on her explorations, and put up with your fraidy-cat behavior. You miss Gamzee, your best bro and occasional rapping opponent. He treated you like you were his equal, despite your low blood. And, uh, even though he came on to you sometimes, he was a good friend.
You sort of even, um, miss Vriska? You don't know what to think about that at all.
The humans who, uh, raised Reagan are very worried about you. Or, no, not you, Reagan. He's the one who belongs here. But he's happy and safe where he is right now. He's dreaming. He's reminiscing.
His memories are so full of strange, alien things you try not to think about them at all. It's all, uh, so confusing that you can't bring yourself to look at them.
You are still Tavros Nitram. You remember.
######
You are Aradia Medigo. You are not at all okay with this.
Perhaps to someone else it wouldn't be that bad. A new home, new life, a whole new planet to explore... to some people it would be great! Exciting even! It might mean that they were starting life anew, ready to face anything!
But you are yourself and not whoever dummy that is, and it is not okay with you! You, who have lived and died and became a ghost, a sprite, a robot, and finally a god, are quite done with all these shenanigans. You don't want to be a human. You want to be yourself, to be Aradia Medigo! You are not named Trisha, you are not a member of the human race, and you certainly don't want to be!
Well... you guess Earth isn't really that bad. They do have their own, less hunky version of Troll Indiana Jones. And the planet itself is huge! You bet it's simply covered in ruins for you to look at! Too bad you're stuck in this boring backwater part of the world called 'America'.
You have learned things you never really wanted to know. For instance, that guy on your husktop? A human named Bing Crosby. The whole mystery is ruined for you now!
As none of your human peers pay you any attention, you are getting pretty lonely for your friends.
Maybe if your flesh was less bronze and more grey, and maybe if your eyes were less grey and more, well actually, greyer, you would dislike your new existence a teensy bit less. And maybe if you had your lusus- no. You shouldn't think about your lusus! It will just make you sad.
You are Aradia Medigo. You never forgot anything.
######
Your name is Karkat ****ing Vantas. **** this ****ing bull****.
At first, you admit, you were a little bit... excited to wake up in this human body. In this stupid-ass human's life. Andrew Harper. A stupid kid with stupid orange-y hair and a stupid pinkish complexion. It was ****ing incredible. Even though you still carried that hideous blood within your veins, you and everyone else on the planet you made had it too. You actually belonged somewhere. It was... nice.
Then, **** hit the metaphorical fan.
The two human Lusus adult things that also had your stupid hair and complexion were REALLY, REALLY, REALLY suspicious of your behavior. They, for whatever reason humans do anything, had raised the real Andrew from the first moment he'd hatched (or, rather, been born) and they knew his personality and habits in borderline creepy detail. You really don't care to know why.
It didn't take them too long to figure out he was missing.
They sent you to all sorts of moronic, psycho-babble spouting nook-sniffers. You were prodded and poked and at one point, tested for drugs. It insulted you greatly, since you would never think of rotting your think-pan with that kind of ****.
Even the thought of poisoning yourself like that was just another reminder. A reminder of your real self. Your friends. Your failed attempts at leadership. Your ****ing idiot of a Moirail, who you are worrying about whenever you are conscious. Which is all the time, since you still don't sleep.
Your name is Karkat Vantas. You ****ing remember.
######
You are Vriska Serket. Humans are soooooooo 8oring!
They 8ore you 8ecause they have all of these stupid rules! So many lines you cannot cross without getting into trou8le! No fighting, that's 'assault'. No taunting, that's '8ullying'. Even their human equivalent of Flarp is terri8le! Where's the action? The thrill?
This whole thing is driving you up the wall! You are not named 'Dessie 8ilson' and you do not live with your 'grandmother'!
Well, you don't. The weakling here 8efore you did. She was named Dessie. And n8! You don't feel the slight8st 8it guilty a8out commandeering her life! You snooze you lose, and that is exactly what happened. She's still asleep, even now. You stopped watching it after the first day, you were so s8ckened by her duuuuuuuum8 dreams.
Your mind control powers are lim8ed as a human. Very lim8ed.
8asically, you are totally out of your element. You 8lame Tavros. Yes. Him. You 8lame him, and Terezi, and Kanaya, and EVERYONE. Especially John. You can't find John. You looked and looked but you don't even know where he lives! It sucks. 8eing a kid, stuck in an alien's body. It sucks and no8ody understands. No one even notices.
The old woman you live with is cranky most of the time. She 8akes cookies that always turn out 8urnt and she makes you go through something she calls 'homeschooling'. That means you have to learn Earth history and math and stuff. If you don't, she's all "8luh 8luh extra homework!"
She is possi8ly the toughest human you have ever heard of. She's got nothing on the Cage human, but still pretty tough.
You are Vriska Serket. You can remem8er.
######
Your name is Equius Zahhak. You punch a wall but it is not demolished.
If you still had your STRENGTH at full power, you w001d at least be slightly appeased. At the very least, a bit less stressed. But no, this body you are dwelling in is udderly weak. Unbefitting of your b100b100d status. You know you are still a b100b100d, because you can see your veins through your pinkish human skin and they are still the right color. It is quite a relief.
You are not used to being so... calm. Non-violent. Humans apparently function like this for most of the time, and it worries you. Your perfect pale relationship with Nepeta may be in jeopardy if she no longer needs to console you.
There is no doubt in your mind that Nepeta is real. She is not possibly a figment of your admittedly weak imagination. Your life as a troll wasn't either. You could not have imagined it all. You do not care what those adult humans you live with (your 'dads') have to say about it. In fact, you refuse to listen to them anymore. Not after they called you Arthur.
Why is this happening to you? Why do your two fau%-lusii send you off to 'sch001' each morning, where you are forced to socialize with your human peers (at least they're also b100b100ds) and learn trivial human subjects? It is tedious.
What emotion is this? Your insides ache when you think about your troll comrades, or your hive and lusus. Is it longing? You actually wish to see them all again. Even the lowb100ds. Especially a certain lowb100d, though you shouldn't dwell too much on her. Most of all, you miss your beloved Moirail. You would do anything to see her again, anything. You would submit to her f001ish role-play for the rest of eternity if it meant you could see her again.
Your name is Equius Zahhak, and you remember.
If you want, you could continue it. The main characters are supposed to be Nepeta and Equius (big meowrail fan over here), but I suppose it does not really matter. Go ahead, reader. Do what you like.
What I would like is for you to leave a review. Are you outraged at the bleeps? Tell me. Do you see what I did there? Tell me. Did you notice I actually did nothing right there specifically? TEEELLL MEEEE. I crave feedback. It is a drug. Lay it on me. I am up for it. Go on. Review. Complain about my sleep deprived antics. Do iiiiit.