Chapter 1: Birth

AN: I'm sorry for this… Oh, I'm not saying that to anyone who might be reading this. I'm saying it preemptively to Sayu. After everything she went through in canon, I sort of feel bad for doing this to her. Of course, my interest in seeing what happens as a result of this one change outweighs any sympathy I have for the characters in this series. That's why I'm doing it…

In fact, you know what, I don't have any sympathy for the characters in this series. I just want to do science. I have no regard whatsoever for the lives I'm about to utterly destroy in the process of playing God with the lives of these innocent fictional characters. I'm an asshole god. Heh. Heh heh. HehahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA! YES! I AM THE GOD OF THIS NEW WORLD!

Now bow.

Also, I don't own Death Note. No shit.

-0-

Yagami Sayu yawned into her breakfast. She'd lost track of time last night browsing fansites for her Ryuga Hideki, and had managed to stay up until three in the morning when she'd sort of just passed out at her computer. Now she was running on next to no sleep, she still had to go to school, and, to top it all off, she'd forgotten to do her homework. Today was just going to be… the best.

As she tried to keep her mind off how awful of a day today was already turning out to be, the droning of a news reporter on the living room television vaguely caught her half-there interest.

"Last night, a man named Shibuimaru Takuo escaped from holding and is currently at large. Shibuimaru is a suspect in the sexual assault of multiple girls ranging from 14 to 20. Any information that leads to the arrest of this individual would be greatly appreciated."

"Sayu," said her mother, Yagami Sachiko. "I don't want you walking home from school by yourself while that man is still out there. If you can't travel with your friends or make it to the bus, I want you to stay put and call Light."

"Yes, mom," she said, barely paying any mind to what was being said.

"Light, I want you to keep your phone on, just in case. You'll do that, right?"

"Of course, mom" Light mumbled as he led a piece of toast into his mouth.

The rest of the morning was a blur and she soon found herself in her homeroom class. As the teacher called role, she stared out the window, dozing off in her seat and daydreaming of having a romantic outing with Ryuga Hideki.

She was startled from her daydreaming a while later by the sound of a ruler slapping her desk. She turned with a start to find her math teacher, Ms. Kitahara, staring her down like she'd just killed the woman's cat.

"Miss Yagami. What is your problem?"

"Huh?" Sayu said intelligently.

"Where is your homework? And moreover, why are you sleeping in class?"

Sayu stared blankly at her before she suddenly remembered what was going on. "Oh, I-I'm sorry. I, uh…" She rifled around in her bag and pulled out the crumpled sheet, which was utterly devoid of any signs of work. "I… kind of…"

Ms. Kitahara pinched the bridge of her nose and made her way back to the front of the class. She pulled out a slip of paper and began writing. Sayu wanted to argue, but she knew this was coming one way or another. Might as well get it over with. The teacher came back to her desk and handed her the slip of paper.

"Detention. After school on Friday. In the future, I suggest you clean yourself up, get proper sleep, and do your homework." Sayu rolled her eyes and nodded along, not really caring about what the woman was saying. This seemed to infuriate her. "Young lady. It's time for you to realize you won't be attending school on the state's dime for much longer. You need to buckle down and start thinking seriously about what you're going to do with your life. You can't just keep floating by through life in a daze forever." Done ranting, she started making her way back to the front again, but turned around, a frown on her face. "And wipe your mouth."

To the snickering of the class, Sayu embarrassedly wiped at the dried drool around her mouth.

At lunch, her friends teased her about how "Ms. Kitahara really laid into her" and how they'd "never seen her so mad before." Sayu wasn't particularly interested. Really, the only thing she was interested in at that point was going to bed. She barely even touched her lunch.

Back in the classroom, it was everyone's least favorite class: English. Sayu supposed she did okay. Not great, but okay. If she was being honest, she didn't really see the point of learning English. It's not like she was planning to go outside Japan or anything.

Planning… Ms. Kitahara's rant came back to her all of a sudden. She'd been annoyed at the time, but… Ms. Kitahara was right. What was Sayu's plan? What did she want to do with her life? As much as it hurt to admit it, she couldn't very well sit around staring at fansites for her Ryuga Hideki until the inevitable heat death of the universe. Maybe she could become an actress? Then she might actually get the chance to meet him. The only problem with that was that she'd never acted in anything ever. She had no idea if she could pull it off, much less make it that big. She could always be a pop singer. Of course, the fact that she was tone deaf was a bit of an obstacle. Her fat fingers were too clumsy to play an instrument, either, so that was out.

Maybe she really should just focus on her academics. Tuning back into the lesson at hand, she vaguely heard a student struggle their way through translating a line into English. Something about "God" or something. It didn't really make much sense to Sayu.

As she was lost in thought about what career path she wanted to choose, she found herself staring out the window at the exact wrong time. A black object fell from the sky, like a dark streak briefly adding a splash of unfitting color to the scene of the courtyard below, throwing the entire image off-kilter. She blinked and squinted, trying to get a better look at what the object was. It was a sort of oblong black blot on the ground, though she thought she could just make out white writing on the top. It was too far away to make anything out.

For the remainder of her classes that day, she stared out the window at the blot. There was… something about it. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but it was like the blot was… calling to her. Asking her to come investigate. Like a compulsion. It was the strangest thing, and a little unnerving.

After the final bell rang, she walked out of the class in a hurry, right past her friends, who were calling after her. She shouted a quick "I'll catch up with you in a bit" behind her and made for the courtyard. Hopefully, she was the only one that had noticed it.

When she reached it, she looked around frantically and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw no one coming in that direction. She looked down at the black shape at her feet to find… a notebook. What? Seriously? That's all it was?

Still, something about the notebook made her want to find out more. She wished she could figure out what this feeling was. It was starting to get a little disturbing. Pushing some loose hair behind an ear, she bent down and picked up the notebook, then went and leaned against a nearby tree and began reading.

The white text on the front, in a font she didn't recognize, was clearly in English. Fan-frigging-tastic. Her favorite subject. Mentally translating the text into Japanese was a bit of a task, but she figured that it said, "Death Note." So, what, like a notebook of death? Wasn't that just cliché? She was already starting to feel foolish for getting so worked up over something that was clearly a dumb prank. Nonetheless, she pressed on.

She struggled through the first two rules for several minutes before she deciphered,

The human whose name is written in this note shall die, and

This note will not take effect unless the writer has the person's face in mind when writing his/her name. Therefore, people sharing the same name will not be affected.

She rolled her eyes. This prank was getting more cliché by the moment. And significantly less funny. Really, what kind of moron would someone have to be to fall for something like this? Having decided she'd had enough, she started walking toward home, dropping the notebook back on the ground as she went. When she was several meters away from the notebook, she stopped. There was almost like a… tugging in the back of her mind. She couldn't quite explain it, but for some reason, she felt compelled to go back. She looked back at the notebook, just lying on the ground, perfectly innocent, yet almost beckoning her back towards it. It was obviously just a trick of the mind. She was just tired. Yeah, that was it.

The notebook was just a dumb prank (albeit a seriously elaborate one) by some dumb kid trying to be edgy and Sayu was just tired. So why? Why did she go back and pocket the notebook? That was a question she would be asking herself again and again for a long time to come.

She felt on edge the whole walk home. She could almost feel the weight of the notebook's presence in her bag, like some unfathomable providence that was utterly beyond the comprehension of someone as weak-minded as Yagami Sayu. The entire time, she was lost in thought about the notebook. Those rules. What the notebook claimed to be. That wasn't something to be trifled with on a whim.

She was halfway home when she remembered that her Gameboy Advance had run out of batteries. 'Man,' she thought, 'I really am losing it.' She cursed under her breath and abruptly altered her path, heading for the 7-Eleven close by. She figured that if her mom got worried about where she'd been, she'd just say she went to hang out at her friend Mika's house. She'd buy that excuse.

She walked into the store and was greeted by the shopkeeper. She'd been in there enough times that the older man knew her face, if not her name. She went to go pick up batteries when a magazine caught her eye. On the cover was the face of the pop idol, Ryuga Hideki. She had to exert a great deal of self-control to keep from squeeing right there in the store. She barely had time to read about him breaking up with his most recent girlfriend when she was shocked back into reality by an ear-piercing scream outside the store.

She looked up and her eyes widened and her face paled when she realized what was happening outside. There was a group of guys on motorcycles outside the store, and between the guys was a young woman. She couldn't have been much older than Sayu herself. And the things those men were doing… Her heart leapt into her throat when she laid eyes on one of the men. She recognized that face. It was Shibuimaru Takuo, the fugitive wanted for sexually assaulting young girls. Her hands shook as she withdrew her cell phone and dialed the police. She struggled to retain an ounce of composure as the lady on the other end of the line reassured her that police were on their way.

As the struggle outside continued, Sayu realized something and paled. In the time it would take the police to arrive, those men outside could do any number of terrible things to that poor girl. Sayu couldn't very well jump in like some sort of anime character and save the day. She'd just get herself raped or killed (or both) in the process, and she probably wouldn't succeed in saving that girl either. 'There must be something I can do,' she thought.

Then, suddenly, an idea came to her. And, as soon as it did, she was simultaneously relieved and horrified. Relieved that there may be something she could do. Horrified at the thought of what she had just considered attempting. She backed away from the window and absently reached into her bag, one hand grasping the alleged "Notebook of Death" and the other hand grasping a pen. She knew, logically, that it didn't make sense. There was no way it would actually work. She felt absurd for even thinking it. Still, it couldn't hurt. On the off chance that it did work, she'd be saving an innocent girl from being raped. But… if she wrote down someone's name in the notebook and that person died, would that make her a murderer?

… It was completely ludicrous. 'It won't work anyways,' she reassured herself. Of course it wouldn't. There was no way it could. And if that person died, really, she'd be doing the world, and more importantly that poor girl, a favor.

Heart racing and hands shaking, she struggled to contain her nerves as she opened the notebook and did her best to write the kanji as she remembered it from the broadcast that morning down on the first blank page in the notebook. For what felt like an eternity, she waited with baited breath to see if anything would happen. After a couple dozen seconds had passed, she was starting to kick herself for being so foolish. Of course it wouldn't work. How could she be such an idiot?

And then, something terrifying happened. The commotion outside came to an abrupt halt. And then, if it was possible, the craziness ramped up even more. Shibuimaru let go of the girl, who took the opportunity to flee like her life depended on it, and he suddenly grasped at his chest. The other men with him looked at him frantically, seeming to ask him if he was okay, and growing increasingly frantic as it became clear that he wasn't. And then, just like that, he collapsed to the ground.

Sayu's legs grew wobbly and she had to hold onto a nearby shelf to keep from collapsing to the ground herself. The blood drained from her face and her mind raced in circles. With shaking hands, she stuffed the notebook and pen back into her bag and stiffly walked out of the store, completely forgetting the original reason she'd gone there in the first place. The other men that were with Shibuimaru had fled, and the body of the wanted felon lay on the ground, nothing clearly wrong with him except for the look of terror on his face and the increasingly stiff arm clutching his chest. Sayu stared at the body for a while, her mind blank.

A couple minutes later, the police arrived. Sayu had already stalked off listlessly in the direction of her house by then. No one at the scene questioned her, or even really noticed her. Everyone there was more focused on trying to get a look at the body. Sayu, in their eyes, was just another rubbernecking bystander.

When she finally arrived at the house, it was to the smell of mom's cooking. At least one thing hadn't changed today. That was good to know. Inside, mom and Light were sitting at the table, talking about the upcoming nationwide practice exam. When they heard her come in, both of them shot up from their respective seats and ganged up on her.

"Sayu," mom said, a little frantically, "Where on Earth have you been?"

"Yeah," said Light, "We've been worried sick about you."

And then they saw her face, her pale skin, and took notice of her overall bizarre demeanor.

Mom, a concerned look on her face, put the back of her hand to Sayu's forehead. "Sweetie, you don't look good. What happened?"

"Huh?" Sayu said, a bit distracted. "Oh, I uh…" She stopped. What was she about to say? Oh, hey mom. I think I just killed a man. No big deal or anything. Ridiculous. "I, uh, went over to Mika's house."

"Well, you're not warm," mom said, a bit more at ease but with concern still etched into her features. "Actually, you seem a little clammy."

"I'm just tired, is all. I had a long day at school. I think I'm just gonna go to bed, okay?"

"Are you sure? Have you eaten?"

"Yeah," she lied. "I ate at Mika's house. Her mom made yakitori and fried rice."

"Okay," mom accepted, still concerned. "But, if there are any problems, don't hesitate to talk to me."

"Right."

"What about your homework?" asked Light. "Do you think you'll be up to doing it?"

"I…" she trailed off. She looked Light in the face, and a pit welled up in her stomach. Suddenly, she felt an intense desire to keep him away from the contents of her bag, almost like a mother protecting her young. "I'll be fine. I'll wake up in a couple hours and do it then."

Light looked skeptical (and he was probably right to be), but didn't push the issue. Everything settled, Sayu made her way toward the stairs, though in her haste, she forgot to switch to her house slippers and nearly tripped over herself swapping them out. Once she was up the stairs, she headed straight for the bathroom. Once inside, she locked the door and stood in front of the sink, gripping the counter for support. She turned on the water, and stared into the sink, watching the water run down from the pipe, into the bowl, and down the drain. With shaky hands, she cupped a bit of water and splashed her face.

She looked up into the bathroom mirror. Her reflection looked pretty bad. Her face was pale, her hair and clothes disheveled, large bags forming under her eyes. She looked like she'd aged five years in just a single day.

Now, in the silence and safety of home, it started to dawn on her, with gut-wrenching horror welling up in her stomach, exactly what she'd just done. She killed that man. She wrote his name in the notebook and he'd died. Were it not for her actions, he would still be alive. She'd killed a man today. She was a murderer. She, Yagami Sayu, daughter of NPA Chief Superintendent Yagami Soichiro, was a cold-blooded murderer.

Suddenly, her stomach flared up in pain. She raced to the toilet, pulled the lid up, and just barely managed to make sure that the contents of her stomach ended up inside the toilet and not on the floor. That would not be fun to deal with. She stared into the water, into the broken and distorted reflection of herself in the water. She stared and stared, for several long minutes.

After a while, her knees started to ache from direct contact with the hard floor, so she stood and flushed the toilet. She watched, transfixed, as her reflection in the water became more distorted and then washed down the drain. She went to the sink, splashed water in her face, and then brushed her teeth three times to get the taste out. In spite of having just thrown up, she found that she didn't feel any less sick.

She stiffly walked to her bedroom, threw her bag haphazardly on the floor next to her bed, and dropped onto the bed, not even bothering to change out of her school uniform. She just didn't have the energy for that right now. She lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to push what she'd done out of her mind, to no avail.

After a while, her gaze hardened. The pit in her stomach didn't go away, but it started to hurt less. 'Why am I kicking myself?' she thought. 'I did the right thing. The only thing I could do, really. Maybe I should have let the police deal with it, but there's no telling if they would've made it in time. And… and I saved that poor girl. I… I did the right thing. I'm a good person. I'm… a hero.'

At the same time as she thought these things, another part of herself questioned her even more intensely. Calling into question the very idea that she'd actually done anything at all (except contacting the police, of course, which is what anyone would've done in that situation). Of course it couldn't have been her fault. It was probably a coincidence. Maybe the man didn't take good care of himself, and his own health on top of the excitement of what he was doing was too much for him to handle. Really. A notebook that kills people whose names are written into it? How absurd. The very idea that a human could gain such godlike power in such a ridiculously simple way. What a grand and intoxicating innocence. She almost felt like slapping herself in the face for being so stupid.

But she didn't. She couldn't. For one reason or another, that notebook kept drawing her attention towards it, whether she wanted to or not. She wanted to believe it was just some sick joke. That that man's death had just been pure coincidence. But the more she thought about it, the more unlikely that seemed. The man had appeared to be in perfect health, and it wasn't normal for a young, healthy person to just drop dead of a heart attack for no apparent reason. But, the other explanation was just…

She wanted to believe it was coincidence. She wanted to believe that she hadn't just become a murderer. She wanted to believe so much. But as she looked at her bag, and considered the strange notebook it contained, she couldn't help but think that it wasn't.