Arima Kishou... Special class ghoul Investigator of CCG.
The man...who has awfully skill and never lose to enemy before.
On other officers's perspective, he...is the hope.
But at the same time, he...was their fear.
What the horrible and terrible thing which he see after
Although he'd seen such horrendous sights
He left, as if returning home after club activities
His reaction is very calm...maybe more calm until they think...
...Arima Kishou is heartless guy...
.
.
.
but not for Sasaki Haise
I afraid of sleeping because it's a during time that I can't control myself. The horrible dream like a timeless with queasy feeling in black-white checked room. The whisper from the white haired boy who sit in mid-room still extension. His hands and his legs were locked by shackles which start move when he struggle.
I can't reject...all things of this place make me become madness.
' it's hurt!...my fingers!...my fingers are disappear like my important person...haha...they disappear! haha!' the scream morph into laughter as a madman.
' You...are the same right? HAI-SE ...because you are weak ...you can't protect everyone'
' you want it...ha ha...just accept...'
'accept me...Haise'
That boy convince me. He can see my deeper thinking and my heart or maybe...my soul. That made me scare...like a crack on my shield, it was pulled out by his words.
' just call my name Haise...call...'
...please...stop...
' look on my face...'
...no...
' accept me... '
...somebody...please help...
The boy start apathy laugh when he saw my tremble body. And then...his smiling lip become straight ...and moving again with counting backwards by seven.
' ...993…986…979…' He counted it ...like endless.
During that time ... The boy got up from the chair. He calmly walked towards with the sound of the chains on the ground. All his stride entail the presence of the blood from
countless mattresses person on a white-black floor. What I do ...is just a cowardly retreat. But ... no matter nearing he come, I could not see his face... as was erase.
" D...Don't come... " I sense my tremble voice...including the wet of cold sweat in my hands.
' What do you afraid? ' the hurting smile under the face which I can't see was given to me. Before come to frightful smile and continue his conversation.
' me? ...despite I'm here with you '
His pale hands with black nail file to me and his stride come to nearly ...nearly... my heart falling in to the dread space, it's beating fast
' I am [ ] yours ...' his voice begin low...his lip still talk, but I can't hear ...can't hear anything...
...
..
.
" Haise " the warm voice awake me up. I open my eye slowly...then found my body lay on the CCG rehabilitation's bed. I turn eyes to the man who sit beside me and call my name. His voice make my heart feel warm and calm. For me...he is the one can control and get my consciousness back. The only one treat me gently under his unemotional look therefore no surprise if I would feel comfortable every time when I see him .
" Arima-san" I call him with glad voice. But the glad feeling was melt like the ice was burnt when I realized the past situation.
... A recent mission... Fighting with the serpent...
...and I...release the craze out…
...The craze...which destroy anything...
" Do I...hurt anyone? I-I-"
" Everybody is fine...on one hurt. Haise, Don't beat yourself up and this...is my command." Ariman-san told me. It's a care feeling that I receive from you.
" I'm apologize" I bent down my face with guilty feeling. I can't make eye contact with Arima-san who stare on me.
...I don't know what Arima-san thinking...
...but I afraid...
...Afraid myself which will let you down...from my act and what I was.
...If that happen...
...I will unable face-to-face and can't beside you...
During I was caught on my thinking in silent. Ariman-san begin conversation with calm voice. That make me started.
" Torso and Serpent's mission failed "
...yes...it's failed...
" This is my fault. I will responsibility " I bent down...close my eye with guilty.
...If I control myself better than this...carefully than this...take care my team better than this. The mission will not filed and that situation not happen.
" You know...who make a mistake must be punished".
" Arima-san! " I shriek when Arima-san climb on my bed and astride on my hands lay on my exit way...not permission to let me go. He unbuttoned wrist and slide it up. His left hand come to touch my lip. My body is trembling with scare.
" This is your punishment...eat it" He order like a normally difference of me who try to hiding and run away. But it very hard when I was under his control...The man...who strongest in CCG.
" b...but...I...can't..." I try to deny but...
" I ordered " It's strong and clearly words like his eyes that staring on me. All of this make me can't exit like a invisible shackle, and I also surrender it ... because I realize what I am.
I belong to him...belong to Arima-san...the one who give the value of life to me. If I don't have him, I can't live anymore. Perhaps I may be broke or become useless person, and when it comes ...I had to be abandoned.
...How scare...
" Haise" He call me again...to remind THE THING which I should do.
I swallow hard before I decide to open my lip. Send my mouth on his left arm and bury the tooth down pass his skin. Taste of blood with the fresh meat spread in my mouth but not have apatite feeling.
Perhaps the painful of my heart was deeper than physical needs.
Yes...I feel pain...
painful to eating it...
painful to taste ...
painful to hurting you...
painful to his eyes that look on me...become the monster...
my heart is very...very painful...
If I don't feel pain, I will be the ghoul who can eat people by desire of hungry ...fun...revenge or whatever.
...because I still be human right?...that why I feel pain for this situation...
Arima-san gentle pulling his hands from my lips. His face not express any pain on the wound that I create. The blood from the wound does not stop but he ignored it. He look on my eyes and used his thumb up to wiped the blood from my lips. I can feel the warming and lightly touch of him.
" Good boy" He soothe me. The hands which slaughter the ghoul was raised to wipe my tears. ... hold me and stroke my head.
I tucked my face that stained with tears on his shoulders. ... his scent makes me calm. Including the warm embrace and sound of his heart beats.
... please control me...
... Please give me a courage...
... Please stay by my side...
... Because of you, the only light in my darkness life...
... Arima-san...
END?