Emotions of Love and Despair

Chibi-Sorrow

My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

"Vincent… where are you?" I mumbled to myself, distraught at the idea that Vincent was gone. Vincent Valentine, vampire extraordinaire, demon obsessive dude, whatever you wanted to call him. I just couldn't think of him being gone. He'd always seemed so invincible to me - like a stone pillar, silent and cold, yet always there to keep the wind from freezing your arse off. He just… couldn't be gone…

I clenched my hands in my short shorts, staring out the front window of the Seventh Heaven at the rain in hopes that he would suddenly show up, whisk me off my feet and we'd live happily ever after and all that stuff. With babies, homemade-non-rationed-dinners, the works. Cheesy, I know, but it's just how it is. I mean, I know it's weird and all - me, a hyperactive ninja chick falling for Mr. Demon Lord himself. But I'm not known to be anything near normal. And it reminds me of what Tifa told me: Opposites attract. Maybe that's how Cid landed with Shera…

Thinking of Tifa, I thought of how supportive she's been in general to my ever changing emotions and thoughts. She understands what it's like to love someone with no hopes of every getting the feeling returned - look at her and Cloud! He was so mixed up in his moping that he never saw how much love Tifa had to give him! He was so damn blind - I think he has more brains than hair. Stupid chocobo headed guy… But I now can't even say that he doesn't notice anymore, not since he realized what he was missing with Tifa. Those two are practically glued to the hip…

When it came to Vincent and I. we are exactly what Tifa said: Complete opposites. For one, colors. How can one guy wear so much black and red (and still look so damn sexy) without being arrested for some random reasons such as 'Too dark, depressive, and over all demonish'? I mean, think about it! If you saw someone walking down the street wearing all that dark clothing, wouldn't you think them to be a serial killer of some type?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

And then there is me - I love bright colors! Bright colors are my life. Green, yellow, you name it, I like it. I don't know why I'm so attracted to them. Maybe it's because of the materia. I mean, it's so pretty! Who could honestly not see the materia and go 'Ohh, pretty…'

Then let's get into personalities - huge difference there, buddy! I mean, look at me! I'm the epitome perky! And Vinnie? Well, he's more… not! He's all dark, moody, depressive and just plain blah! Though I wouldn't recommend telling him this when he has his gun on him… Bad, bad idea…

But… Despite our differences in colors, personalities, foods (he absolutely loves anything with seafood in it while I think it's disgusting), I still fell hard for him. While his moods may be depressive, he is actually very kind once you break past that huge, uber thick outer shell he has… I love everything about him - from his deep, crimson eyes to his midnight hair and back again to this subtle lips - those lips that never smiled, never showed anything but indifference. And, knowing my luck, he probably has no intention to love anyone again - not after his precious Lucrecia. He's probably gone to mourn over her again…

I couldn't help but start shaking as I thought of him being gone. I mean, granted, it's only been a month - which, for him, isn't horribly long since he's disappeared for months on end - but still! Why can't he show up for the night, hell even give me a call to let me know he's alive and not dead somewhere in a ditch?! I clenched my fist tighter, lowering my head as I closed my eyes and tried not to focus on the outside. I felt at such a weak point in my life. I mean, come on! I was Yuffie, beautiful, ninja princess of Wutai! I didn't need love, I didn't need anyone, I didn't need anything but my materia to keep my company!

…Who the hell was I kiddin'? I was lying to myself and I knew it. I could feel a small sob leave my parched lips as I slowly sunk to the floor, my knees painfully hitting the hardwood floor. My fist refused to unclench as tears made their way down my cheeks, leaving wet trails in their wake. I tried to be strong - I really had. But the thought of Vincent, my dark, brooding vampire being gone left me in shambles. I didn't want to believe it. I tried so hard to think positive - to be the perky, selfish little girl that everyone believed me to be.

My body still shook as the tears strung down my face. I had never been much of a crier, but in this case, well… Things change. These emotions bring on so many unexpected things - things that can alter a personality for the better or for the worse. And what about me? Well… I think you can see the difference.

I didn't know if it was lust or love or everything up, down, and in-between…But, in the end, this feeling made the dam break and that little girl, the Yuffie that everyone knew fled - leaving me a broken, lost, helpless little child of the age of nineteen…

Altered personality's of past and present mixing to form one soul that didn't know where to go. In the end, though… I just wanted one thing. One single thing that I don't ever think I'll receive…

I just wanted my vampire back.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me

I've been alone all along…

Awe, I wrote a sad fiction… I'm gonna get killed for this, aren't I? Continuing on, I haven't written in so long, so I hope this drabble piece is decent. Plus, it's my first Yuffentine thingy/Final Fantasy VII piece/ cake… And I never played DOC, but this takes place after. Ha-ha, yeah… Anyways, I may write a sequel to this or I may not. Depends on my mood. Vote if you would like one! Squee!

Chibi-Sorrow