The Morons Guide to Zelda

Welcome to the morons guide to Zelda, a very simple 10 step program to help you on your way to beating any Zelda game on the big screen.

Step1: Start your adventure in very random medieval village of peasants and country folk, in which you have no parents.

Step 2: Run around random village killing random chicken and doing various favors for neighbors until your girl friend/sister/princess Zelda is kidnaped by Gannon.

Step 3: Get a sword and shield somewhere in your very random village, and set out to save said girl friend/sister/princess Zelda.

Step 4: Wen you reach your girl friend/sister/princess Zelda, attempt to save her, only to be almost killed by evil force.

Step 5: At this point, you probably have a mystical guiding fairy/boat/twilight thing, a green outfit, and know you have a magical power of a random hero guy.

Step 6: Now, your guide will tell you what to do. You however have no idea what's going on, just do what they tell you or you may very well die.

Step 7:Go through random dungeons collecting random magical objects, Hyrule has probably at lest 500 of them, each very important and "well hidden."

Step 8: If at any time you get stuck in said dungeon, run in circles like a moron until you figure out what the fuck your supposed to do. If this is to hard, give up, or throw your remote into the tv. If all else fails get the guide book, thus killing the w hole puzzle solving point of the game, or turn to the internet and ask some random Zelda obsessed geek who beat the game 6 hours after they got it.

Step 9: Eventually the triforce comes into play. After all this running around like a moron, you have finally reached the part where you are reunited with your girl friend/sister/princess Zelda, and kill Gannon.

Step 10: Congratulations, you have beaten the latest Zelda game! But, be sure to wait at lest 6 months after you get the game before telling people you beat it, or they will think you are a geek, which you are.

Follow these very simple steps, and in no time, you will beat your latest and greatest Zelda game!