We're taking a very temporary hiatus from "Weapons and Redemption" so that I may bring you The Count's World's first holiday special: Shin Nen Omedetou (Happy New Year).

It was the last day of the year and Count Bleck was feeling very good about everything. He and his minions had received an invitation. A real social invitation, asking for their company at a New Year's party. This was something that Count Bleck had never experienced- not only a traditional New Year event, but also the fact that an entire group having a party had thought of him and asked him to join.

Suprisingly enough, the party was being held in Sammer's Kingdom, one of the worlds to be sucked up into the Void when Count Bleck controlled the Dark Prognosticus. When King Sammer first contacted them, Count Bleck had been uncomfortable.

It had gone something like this:

King Sammer called up Count Bleck on his Cell Phone SP. At the time, Count Bleck had been in his bedroom sorting the papers in his desk and Tippi was watching him with amusement.

"That's strange," said Count Bleck, checking the screen on his phone. "The number isn't coming through."

"Probably a salesman," said Tippi. "I'll bet Chet Rippo's trying to sell you experience again."

"I'm so tired of him," said Count Bleck. He answered his phone. "Hello, said Count Bleck?"

"Yes, is this Count Bleck?"

"Why, yes, yes it is."

"Ah, glorious! It's very difficult to track down an unlisted number, you know. Lucky one of my vassals was able to— I am King Sammer, of Sammer's Kingdom."

Count Bleck paused as he sucked in breath through his teeth. "There's a reason it's unlisted," he said tersely.

"Oh, I understand, don't you know. The troubles of kings and counts are much the same."

"Listen, if you're calling for my head on a pike, you'll have to take a number—"

"You've already made that joke," Tippi interrupted.

Count Bleck looked up at her. "If I didn't keep making that joke, I'd have gone mad by now."

"Head on a pike? Oh, gracious no! I'm calling to invite you to my kingdom's New Year celebration."

"So… you're calling to heap coals over my head."

"What are you talking about?"

"If I recall correctly, the last time I was in your kingdom I… made a spectacle out of myself."

King Sammer gave a hearty laugh. "Oh, ho, ho! It couldn't be any worse than the spectical my vassals saw at the Christmas party. I'm afraid this king has a soft spot for the eggnog, you know."

Count Bleck said, "No, no, I mean I denounced all living things as worthless before I let your world be sucked up into oblivian."

"Yes, yes, I recall that. I also recall that I seem to exist right now. You also have glowing reccomendations that I've heard about: Merlon, descendant of the Ancients and a distant cousin of mine, droves of X-Nauts who passed through spoke highly of you, Princess Peach in our last meeting- who, if I recall correctly, was fighting against you back then (now, what do you suppose caused that change of heart?) the residents of Twilight Town…"

"Wow," said Count Black. "You… you certainly talk to a lot of people."

"The first time I heard it, I didn't want to believe it. I thought, surely they aren't talking about the same Count Bleck who denounced all livign things as worthless before he let our world be sucked up into oblivian! But then again and again, I hear stories of your great deeds."

"And… the logical conclusion you come to is to invite me to a party?"

"I try to keep good company."

"You are heaping coals on my head."

"Please RSVP to this number by next Friday. I'll need to know whether or not to keep a Guest Suite in my elegant palace open."

"Let me get this straight: You want me, a man who you have every reason to be angry with for reasons established, to come to a kingdom where over a hundred trained warriors obey every order you give them? And… what?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Count Bleck. Nobody in this kingdom works on New Years. It's the biggest holiday of the year!"

Count Bleck looked up at Tippi and covered the microphone. "Do we want to go to a New Year party in Sammer's Kingdom?"

"Why not?"

"All right," said Count Bleck into the phone. "Put me down for seven."

"Ah, excellent! Bringing the whole party! Well, we can't wait to see you! Ki o tsukete (take care)!"

Count Bleck hung up the phone.

"Let me tell you," said Tippi, "that was one weird conversation to only hear half of."

And that's basically how it happened. So Count Bleck and everyone was standing on the outskirts of Sammer's Kingdom on the last day of the year. Count Bleck was feeling good about the invitation, but was also a nervous wreck thinking about all the ways it could go horribly wrong.

It was actually much like the meeting room: Nastasia was on one side and Tippi was above him, and he was facing his four minions who had arranged themselves in the same configuration they always stood in. Hopefully he could expect the same level of professionalism from his minions that he received in the meeting room—scratch that. Hopefully he could expect at least some level of professionalism.

"All right," said Count Bleck. "This is a Very Big Deal for us. If we can prove that we aren't complete disasters at social situations, the possibilites for us will open up tenfold. I want all of you to be on your best behavior. O'Chunks, don't battle anyone unless they start it. Mimi, respect social boundaries. Dimentio, don't creep anyone out. Mr. L, don't depress anybody."

"I can try," said Mr. L.

"If you don't behave yourselves, I will send you back to Dimension Bleck so fast your neck will snap."

"Does O'Chunks even have a neck, or do we have to think of a different punishment for him?"

"Oh, I can snap it," assured Count Bleck. "And remember: we are guests in this dimension. They have different customs and traditions than we are used to. Please don't insult them by not following or, stars forbid, mocking their ways."

He looked at Mimi who was in a kimono tied with an obi sash and a pair of geta on her feet. Her hair was done in a strange, half traditional half trainwreck style.

"What?" She looked at her outfit. "This is a perfectly acceptable New Year's outfit!"

"It's always left over right," said Count Bleck. "Never right over left."

"Who cares?"

"The Sammer Guys, for one. If you don't switch the folds, you can't come to the party."

Mimi scowled, but obediently excused herself to re-tie her kimono.

"Anything else?" asked Nastasia.

O'Chunks raised his hand.

"Yes, O'Chunks?"

"How, ezzac'ly would yeh be breakin' me neck, anyway?"

"Would you like to find out?"

"… No, I can't say that ah would."

"Are we ready?" Nastasia asked Count Bleck.

"Yes, I believe we are."

Count Bleck approached the gates to King Sammer's magnificant palace. Inside was a courtyard as big as some castles, with hundreds of Sammer Guys and other citizens inside to celebrate. Over the tops of the walls, Count Bleck could see beautiful kites flying in the air. He could also see the top of a shrine, but he couldn't tell if it was small or far away. Given the extravagance of everything else, though, he couldn't imagine it was small.

A red Sammer Guy was standing at the gate, holding a sign that said "Bleck."

"Hello," Nastasia said, stepping up to him. "Yeah, hi, we're here from Dimension Bleck. This is Count Bleck."

The Sammer Guy tossed the sign over his shoulder. "Hello," he said. "King Sammer has asked me to escort you through the festivities."

"How wondeful," gushed Tippi. "Are you a Sammer Guy?"

"I'm not one of the 100," he answered, "but I have received training and may one day be honored with a position as one of the King's vassals. Sadly, such an honor is not yet within my reach... and hasn't been for the past fifteen years."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Tippi. "What's your name?"

"Jobless Bum," he answered.

"Oh."

"Yeah…"

"I'm going to call you Red."

"I would appreciate that." He cleared his throat. "Now, if you are hungry you may enjoy many of our traditional dishes prepared especially for the festivities. If recreation is more your tastes, we have wonderful games you may play at. I can teach you the rules. Or I can bring you to the shrine, where you may make your wishes for the New Year. The real crowds will be tomorrow, the first visit of the New Year, but it is still very crowded."

Count Bleck looked over his minions. All of them were quiet and standing side by side in an orderly line, rather like young children on a field trip. Count Bleck nodded approvingly.

"Bring us to your shrine," said Count Bleck, "if you please. I would like very much to see a display of Sammer culture."

"As you wish," said Red. "This way, stay close and watch out for pickpockets."