" EMOTIONS ARE MOVIN' IN: GETTING IN MY SPACE, LIVIN' IN MY SPACE.
WHEN DID THE GAMES BEGIN? I'M OVERTHINKIN' MY THOUGHTS AGAIN.
NO, WE DON'T BREAK BUT WE'RE BOUND TO BEND "
playlist;
don't go breaking my heart | backstreet boys
what if | jordan orlando, mackenzie ziegler
think before i talk ( acoustic ) | astrid s
alien | sabrina carpenter, jonas blue
hurricane | bridget mendler
dangerously | charlie puth
words | daya
Sophie threw open the door, her face stone hard as she pointed an accusing finger, ready to get straight to the point of her unexpected visit.
Fitz, rather taken-aback and—dare he say, scared, by Sophie just running into his room because he wasn't even aware she was at Everglen—he dropped the book he had been reading abruptly on the floor. Completely forgotten, he didn't even try to pick it up but rather recoiled a little in the chair he was sitting in.
He stood up and tried to act as calm as he could while still backing up a few steps.
"Sophie," he squeaked, already trying to conjure up an excuse as to why she hasn't seen him for the last few days.
"No!" she shouted, cutting off his half-hearted attempt to sputter out a decent lie. "Don't even say it. Don't even try and tell me something, because nothing is going be a good-enough excuse for as to why you've been avoiding me!"
"I-I haven't been avoiding you!" he defended.
"Oh, you haven't, have you?" she asked incredulously, clearly not buying any piece of the lie he was trying to sell.
He didn't know what to say in hope of saving himself, because it was pretty bad that he had been avoiding her. But he just couldn't face her because he was too afraid to say what she wanted him to.
"Don't you think I've noticed that you conveniently disappeared from the Earth's stupid surface ever since I told you that I—" She choked on the end of the sentence, her enraged demeanour dropping for a minute like a curtain, revealing the raw hurt underneath.
But she shook her head in an irritated manner, recovering from the fall quickly and continuing in confronting him. "You might as well have been in Exile for the last week!"
Her voice cracked again, much to her own dismay, and Fitz frowned at how heavily she was breathing and how her eyes filled with tears, growing watery.
"I understand that you don't reciprocate those feelings, but that doesn't mean that since I felt those that you had to avoid me! I was bracing for rejection and I sure as hell got it," she waved her arms, gesturing to how far away he was standing from her, "but I didn't think you'd completely try to erase me from your life!"
The phrase "erase me from your life" hit a little more deep than probably intended. In fact, Fitz assumed that it was just Sophie rambling in her anger and she hasn't really tried to say that specifcally. And she had the total right to yell at him, but it still left a lump in his throat as the memory of her leaving her family clouded his consciousness.
"I'm not leaving you," he promised, finally speaking up. Even if his voice was a little shaky and too loud, it was better than silence. "I'm not erasing you."
"You might as well be!" she said back with authority, her voice twice his volume, blinking back her tears. "You won't talk to me," she accused, choking on a sob.
"Sophie. . ." Fitz cooed, taking a few cautious steps forward. He had never had any intention of hurting her in his absence, but it was clear that he had initiated some damage.
"No!" she snapped, taking a step back to match his every step forward, trying to keep the distance between them. "You should have just been there! You ran out of the room, Fitz! You ran out!"
"I know, but I was scared—"
"Scared?" she repeated. "You were scared?! I was scared! And embarrassed and hurt and you left without a second thought!"
A few tears slipped down her cheeks, making his chest tighten.
"Just because I admitted that doesn't mean I can't stay your friend," she whispered, some sort of plea in her voice as she choked on a sob. "I don't know what to do without you," she admitted softly.
Her confession hit the floor, seeking to echo around the silent room. She shook her head, breaking eye contact with him as she dug through one of her pockets, sniffling. "Just. . . Forget it."
Fitz took a few quick strides toward her, reaching for her hand as she took out her home crystal and made a light path, turning her back to him.
"Sophie—"
She whipped back around to face him and recoiled her hand quickly, making sure he couldn't take it. "Don't," she whispered, taking slow steps backwards, increasing the bubble of space between their bodies.
Fitz' heart dropped to his knees and his stomach soured at how pained she looked, avoiding eye contact.
"You know," she said her voice hard again, but shaking, "it's as much your fault as it is mine for what you're feeling that's making you feel the need to avoid me. You just kept pestering and poking and prodding and pushing me to tell you my secret. Even after I told you time and time again that you didn't want to hear it and that it wouldn't go well."
This time he didn't let her step away, reaching forward and lacing their fingers.
Sophie felt warmth of his calloused hand and half expected their rings to snap together, while Fitz stood in the silence their heavy breathing wracking the silent, still air.
And her face hardened unexpectedly. She ripped her hand away, trying to turn and stride away—but she slipped.
And Fitz watched in horror as she fell into the light, complete unprepared.
Sophie awoke groggily to light, feeling her skin rush with the familiar tickle and rush of feathers. It felt like her body was being ripped apart, though, the feathers scattering and each dragging a piece of her consciousness and body with it. It felt like her body was struggling to stitch itself back together, cell by cell.
She started to panic, the light searing behind her eyes, her breathing turning into hyperventilating or panting—she didn't know which. She just knew that each breath was sucking in faster than the last and that she felt about ready to cry.
She was terrified.
She let out a whimper, wincing when she tried to move to and her body stung and ached with every muscle she attempted to move.
"Hey," a voice comforted, clearly alarmed at her panicking. A hand was placed to her shoulder, rubbing light, slow circles. "It's okay. It's okay. . ." They repeated the same calming whisper a few more times like a mantra, until Sophie's breathing slowed and her heart rate steadied.
"There," they said, still quiet, continuing to gently massage her shoulder. "There you go. It's okay. . ."
She heard shuffling but was too tired to open her eyes, trying to gather all the strength she had before deciding to figure out who was there. Besides, it didn't really matter, because they were taking care of her.
She heard the person come back towards the comfy bed she was laying in, and then they said, "I'm going to need you to breathe in really deep for me when I get to three, okay?"
Her throat and mouth were dry like sand, so she mustered a small nod, focusing on counting her breaths.
"Alright," they responded. "One. . . Two. . . Three."
Right before they uttered "three", they had spritzed some sort of mist that burned in her nostrils as she inhaled, reminding her of the smell of human cleaning chemicals.
Her body was wracked with a fit of coughs, burning her ribcage. The hand moved to her back, continuing to rub light circles until her coughing fit finally ceased.
She was unbelievably exhausted, but somewhere in the back of her mind, her consciousness was tugging on a memory. She knew what that stuff was that she'd had to breathe in. She remembered having to take a dose of it back when she'd faded.
She repressed a sigh, too afraid it would hurt her ribcage and cause more pain. "I faded again, didn't I?"
The person sighed, intertwining their hand with hers. "Yeah, you did." Their voice cracked along the edges.
"How bad?" she moaned.
"You didn't shield yourself, Sophie. Obviously you did a little bit, bit. . . You were almost completely clear. We could barely see you when you reappeared."
That was why she hurt everywhere. But she was still trying to piece together how she had not remembered to shield herself. When had her last leap been? What has she been doing?
Instead of asking the person those questions, she chose, "How long have I been out for?"
She heard them swallow and the hand that held hers shook a little. "Over a week and a half. That's all I'm going to say."
An entire week and a half, plus. She had been floating in her dreamless, hot oblivion for an entire week and a half, and however longer.
She blew out a breath, pulling her hand out of the person's, trying to push herself up into a sitting position with her her elbows. They helped her and she curled her knees to her chest, putting her head down on top of them as the blood rushed to her head.
She took a few deep breaths, lifting up her head and prying her eyes open, letting her corneas adjust to the light.
Sun streamed in through a large window with lacy curtains and she was in a giant, comfy bed. There was a little nook with bookshelves and a plush armchair and the more she took in the familiar details of her surroundings. . .
She realized she was in the guest bedroom at Everglen.
Her eyes settled onto the person, her memory crashing back to her as she shuddered. "Fitz?" she asked, slowly getting up from the bed.
"Sophie, be careful," he warned as she wobbled. She tried to step past him, closer to the door on the other side of the room and he grabbed her arm to help steady her.
She pulled away, only making her balance worse as she stumbled backwards, hitting the floor on her butt with a thud!
She winced from the blunt, forceful impact that made all of her bones ache, but quickly stumbled to her feet when Fitz tried to approach her, ambling towards the door to get away. She didn't want to be near him.
She jiggled and rattled the doorknob so loud and hard that she thought it would surely break off and allow her to limp-run out into the hallway, but it didn't budge.
She looked in alarm at Fitz who was taking leizure, slow strides towards her, holding out his arms like he was trying to calm a frightened animal. "Sophie," he started.
"You-You locked me in here," she stammered.
He stared at her as she started to back up again, sadness clouding his usually bright eyes. "I knew you were going to try to run. I'm sorry." His voice sounded strained as he looked at the fear in her eyes.
She stumbled backwards until her back hit the bookshelf, the separate wood shelves digging into her spine. She gripped the lowest shelf with her two hands, back pressed as close to the bookshelf as possible as Fitz got closer and closer until he was right in front of her.
Her heart pounded against her ribcage and in her ears, making it almost impossible to hear. She felt her blood pumping through her body, the feel of her heartbeat erupting in random places such as her wrists or the side of her neck.
Her breathing shook her entire body, as her hands fumbled for a book, never taking her eyes off of him. She managed to get ahold of one and brought it her chest, needing more space between her and Fitz and some feeling of protection.
She didn't know why placing it over her heart felt good, but she felt like before he could just see everything and like he knew her heart was still throbbing with pain from him rejecting her.
Fitz sighed when he looked at it, but not in an irritated way—it sounded sad and tired. She stared at the wooden floor.
Suddenly his feet got closer to her and he placed his two hands leisurely on the same shelf that could feel running along the back of her head, his body getting much more close than she would have preferred.
She flickered her eyes up when she felt his hot breath on her cheeks, meeting his teal eyes. She blinked, eyes unwavering from his, her pulse skyrocketing at the intensity in his gaze.
She swallowed. "Fitz. . ." she said low and warningly, but still very timid.
Her body shuddered involuntarily when their noses brushed and his forehead pressed to hers, taking her breath away.
"Does this bother you that much?" he asked quietly, his eyes searching hers and his hands moving to her shoulders.
". . .No. B-But—"
And Fitz leaned down, pressing his lips softly to hers. She sucked in a breath, part of her head telling her to pull away before he noticed how it affected her, part of screaming that this was just a joke, or, or. . .
But his hands softly cupped her face, and his mouth moved against hers, coaxing her out of her stupor until she kissed him back. A surge of electricity shot through her body and a mix of heat and butterflies pooled and swam in her stomach.
And Sophie? The Sophie that had screamed at him the last time she'd seen him? The Sophie that had tried to run away from him immediately after waking up in pain?
The book to her chest crashed to the ground without a second though, and she whimpered against his mouth, completely melting at his soft, caring touch. He was kissing her like she was the only thing that mattered in the world, the last piece holding together the puzzle that was his life.
He pulled away suddenly, both of them gasping for the breath that they barely had remembered they needed. Fitz stayed with his forehead pressed against hers for a few more seconds, his calloused hands caressing her cheeks, his Cognate rings leaving cold traces in their wake, and their lips lightly brushing up against one another's.
He completely pulled away from her after those few seconds and seemed to be trying to catch his own breath and take his eyes off of her.
She blushed when she realized what had just happened and he turned from her as she tugged her blonde hair around her face. He grabbed a key from his pocket and unlocked the door, juggling the doorknob so that it was open just a crack.
He put it back in his pocket and slowly walked back up to her, shoving his hands in his pockets and staring at his shoes. "You can go, if you want," he offered, after clearing his throat.
She blinked while looking at him: once, twice. She breathed while looking at him: in, out.
And she grabbed onto the collar of his shirt, rising on her tiptoes and tugging down, meeting him halfway. She kissed him again, her toes curling in pleasure and her body shivering in pure delight at the way his mouth melded with hers. Her head was dizzy and spinning, and Fitz grabbed onto her waist when her knees buckled, pulling her flush against him.
...And the door flung open.
Sophie broke away from Fitz, jumping a little in a startle. Fitz held her close to his body protectively, tingles rising up her spine.
Four bodies lay on the floor, and it was very apparent with the guilty way that they looked up at the two embracing that they had been eavesdropping.
"I told you we shouldn't lean against the door," Biana hissed at Keefe. "Nobody leans up against the door!"
Sophie studied the bodies in the floor, heat blooming on her cheeks. Keefe was smirking, Biana was clearly annoyed that they had been caught (but had no regrets), Dex was a little red, but Linh was entirely embarrassed, cover her eyes as if not looking at them made it like they couldn't see her.
Tam laughed from outside, stepping into the doorway. "I have to say—this is a spectacular moment."
And when Fitz began tenderly rubbing her back, Sophie couldn't disagree.
I was too afraid to tell you, he whispered softly in her head. I didn't know how to say it so calmly like you did.
Sophie turned and looked at him, not caring that they had an audience. You. . ?
He dipped his chin. I liked you, he agreed.
Her lips twitched into a smile. Well, great. 'Cause I like you, too.
They shared a smile.
a/n: hope you enjoyed!