Training Table Blues
Disclaimer/Author's Notes: Kim Possible and all the characters of the show are owned by the Disney Company. All other characters can be blamed on the author (he, however, is not responsible for all of their actions at all times, being barely responsible for himself most of the time….).
This is a strictly not-for-profit, just-for-fun work.
You can read this without reading any associated stories, but (shameless plug) I would highly recommend Black Hole Deep, version 2.0 and BE, S 1: Blue Eyes, Shining.
A/N Forward:
Christmas is coming in Middleton, and couples are in training for the competition, in Traning Tables, and Champions.
Bon Appetit!
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Training tables, and champions
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"Kim, you promised that you would train me."
"But, Ron..." and Ron produced the Ronald Dean Stoppable "puppy dog pout," and Kim sighed.
"Well, ok Ron, but I'm gonna need some help from you, as well"
"Sure thing, KP. I know that the most important thing in training is keeping hydrated," and he produced 4 super-sized Slurpsters.
"RON!!!"
"And we're going to train Rufus also, right?" and Rufus popped up, saw the Slurpsters, and ran to the closest one. He slurped greedily, then winced and put his front paws on his head.
"Oooo, brain freeze."
"OK, we're gonna need another 4 or 5 more Slurpsters."
"RON!!! This training is important. It could mean the difference between winning and losing."
Ron looked down, a bit sad. "You're right, KP," then he looked up with a wide grin.
"Snackage first?"
"Training first, Ron, then Snackage, and then…" she gave him a come-hither look and called him with her finger, "graduate-level snuggling and kissing training," and Ron promptly passed out on the training table.
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"Brick, don't you want to win?"
"Sure, Bonnie, but I'm in great shape already; Coach says I'm ready for my college tryouts."
"But, what about me? Aren't you going to help me train?"
"I dunno, Bonnie, this is really hard work, and-" Bonnie cut him off by grabbing a part of him.
"And, you won't be getting this anywhere near me," she glowered, "unless you help me train. Besides," and she released him and pulled him to her well-toned body and grabbed his behind, "there are perks to helping me train," she added sensuously and shut his mouth before he could say anything.
When he could breathe again, he only had one thing to say:
"Ok, Bonnie, do you want to start now, or after?" and Bonnie grinned and pushed Brick back into the chair in front of the training table.
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"Felix?"
"Monique, I'm immune to the puppy dog pout. I gained immunity from my accident," Felix replied smugly. But, then, his eyes grew big, as…
Monique danced sexily over to him and plopped herself into his lap, drinking in his face with her big, beautiful, brown eyes. She smiled and teased him with her grin, nibbled at his lower lip, then pulled his head to one side and nibbled his right earlobe.
"I know you can do this, big man; do it for your girl," she whispered into the ear that Monique had converted into a snack cake, and Felix knew he was doomed.
"Mon, you don't fight fair," Felix forced the words out of his mouth and yielded to the inevitable. "Ok, I'll do it, but you have to promise to train as hard for this as you shop for clothes," and Felix grinned. "Are you sure we can do this, Mon?"
Monique licked his ear, and Felix knew his answer.
"Less talk, more train, BF," and Monique smiled as she stood and went to the training table. Felix followed, and enjoyed the wonderful walkaway view.
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"James, is that you?"
Anne Possible heard her husband come into the front door from the Middleton Science Center, and she came downstairs.
"Anne, you got home early to…oh, my, goodness: tonight?" The smile on the face of James Possible grew bigger than it had been when he came in the door as his wife stood at the top of the stairs in her LBD (little black dress), silk stockings, and 3-inch heels.
"Uh huh," Ann replied in a sultry voice that, the last time he heard it, had resulted in Jim and Tim being born 8 months, 3 weeks, and 4 days later.
"The boys are sleeping overnight with friends, Kim's on a mission with Ron, and tomorrow's Saturday, so I thought we'd get a head start," Ann continued in that same voice as she stepped down the stairs and James grabbed his chest.
"It's gonna be the big one, Anne, if you don't get over here now," James replied, and Anne took the last few steps down the steps quicker and fell into her husband's welcoming arms.
"Are you sure that the boys don't know?" Anne whispered to her husband.
"I executed the bug sweep from the car when I pulled up: they had two planted in our room, and one in Kim's phone: they're all deactivated," James replied, smugly.
"You like my training attire, big guy?" she whispered into his ear.
"It's great, as long as I don't have to wear it for training," and Anne swatted him as he broke up laughing.
"JAMES TIMOTHY POSSIBLE!" She shouted, and then she smiled wickedly. "Did you forget to tell me something last month when we talked?" and James blanched, but Anne grinned and shook her finger at him, then motioned him closer.
"Training has commenced," she whispered, and she grabbed him by the arm and pulled him toward the training table that she had set up in the study.
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"Wade?"
"Yes?" and Wade turned around to see his girl. "What brings you here at this time of day? Skipping school?" and he grinned as Jocelyn Possible winced, and then she smiled.
"School break before finals, BF, and you promised to train me," and she smiled wickedly and sauntered over to his desk, then propped herself up on it and crossed her legs.
Wade was doomed. Her blue-jean miniskirt was his Achilles' heel, and Joss knew it. So were the red cowgirl boots. He managed to raise his head, and she had pulled out the secret weapon: the Possible Puppy-Dog Pout.
Wade had always hated Genetics, and he hated it even more, now.
"Well?" she asked coyly, and Wade unceremoniously dumped a Medium Slurpster into his lap. It was better than the alternative, since his parents would be home in a few minutes.
"Ok, I'll do it, but you have to promise to train as hard for this as you did for the parasail competition," and Wade laughed. "You don't even pretend to fight fair, do you, Sweet Tea?" and she smiled sweetly back at him.
"Only for the unimportant things, like…" and she never finished as she decided that kissing Wade was more important than the sentence, and she slid off of the table onto his lap and joined lips with Wade.
The Slurpster was cold on her legs, but not as cold as the training table was going to be.
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Kim was walking thru the crowds at the Middleton Christmas festival, enjoying the sights and sounds and waving at people, when she came upon a sight that was stopped her in her tracks:
Dr. Drakken was walking thru down a sidewalk, calmly drinking from a bottle of water while Shego walked next to him, doing the same.
'Drakken? Shego? Here?' she thought, but there was something wrong here, because they were laughing and pointing at items for sale in the different booths.
"What are you doing here?" Kim asked them, and Shego flared her hands for a moment, then extinguished them
"Amp down, Princess," Shego replied, and pointed towards the crowd. " Dr.D and I are here with an escort," she added.
"Same for me," and DNAmy walked up to Kim, as well. "Did you see the CuddleBunny booth, Kimmie? It was wonderful!" DNAmy was gleeful to the point of obnoxiousness.
'Drakken? Shego? DNAmy? This is so sick and wrong!' Kim thought, and then her nightmare got worse.
"Amy is correct, Miss Possible," and Will Du stepped out of the crowd in his GJ jumpsuit. "All three are here under GJ escort, and I have a crack team at my call. This has all been arranged with Dr. Director: you'd know that if you were a top agent, like me," Du added with his usual smug arrogance.
'Grrrr," Kim growled mentally, and thought about kicking Du in the head to get his attention, but decided against it: she'd mess up her shoes.
"Why are they here?" Kim asked Will, who only smiled.
Then the announcement came over the loudspeakers throughout the area:
"All contestants and/or teams must be seated in the competition area in five minutes; repeat: All contestants and/or teams must be seated in the competition area in five minutes," and Kim looked at Will:
"NO!"
"Yes; they are competitors."
"How did this happen?"
"They sent in their requests to the Director of Global Justice for special dispensation for this event, and it was granted after the conditions were agreed-to by all parties," Will responded. "You would know these things if you were a top agent, like me," Will repeated, and Kim contemplated inserting his arrogance in another orifice.
"And, now, if you will excuse me, Miss Possible, I have to escort them to the competition area," and Will turned his back on Kim and walked away with Dr. Drakken, Shego, and DNAmy together, but not after Shego smirked and shouted:
"Later, Princess!"
'You are SO going down, Shego!' Kim thought as she ran to get Ron and head to the competition area.
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Kim could not believe what she saw:
The competition area was massive. There were five long tables on the competition platform, and each table had 10 chairs behind it. Most were already filled, and each position was labeled.
That wasn't what surprised her: it was the competitors that she knew:
Brick Flagg.
Bonnie…Bonnie? 'She knew that Ron and I were competing, and she had to be here,' thought Kim. Bonnie saw Kim, and waved, then smirked as she leaded over and kissed Brick. He didn't complain.
Felix
Monique; no surprise, there: she had seen Mon and Ron in competition before.
"Big Mike" Cotton.
Justine Flanner…Justine? With Big Mike?
Kevin.
Tara…Tara???
Wade.
Joss…OK, she knew about them, and she grinned at Joss as Joss waved at Ron, who grinned and waved back.
DAD?????
MOM?????
"Hey, Mr. Dr. P! Mrs. Dr. P! Competing this year?"
"Hello, Ronald. Yes, we are," Anne Possible replied with a wicked grin, and Ron gulped.
"Dad? Mom? You're competing?" Kim sat down in her seat that had been assigned next to her mom, and Ron sat next to Kim. 'My life is soo over,' thought Kim. 'This is worse than when they took up line-dancing.'
Rufus popped out of Ron's pocket and took the seat next to Ron; it was labeled Rufus Stoppable, and Ron had already discussed Rufus with the competition committee and received permission for him to enter.
"Drew!" James Possible yelled at Dr. Drakken, who took his seat at another table sandwiched by Shego and DNAmy.
"James," Drew Lipsky nodded towards James and then turned away.
The crowd's yells ware deafening.
And the announcer began:
"Ladies and Gentlemen: Welcome to the 3rd annual Middleton Christmas Celebration Naco Eating contest.
"Let's get ready for TUMMY RUMBLE!!!" She yelled into the microphone, and the crowd screamed in response.
"We have several contests this year:
Men's Naco Consumption;
Women's Naco Consumption;
and
Team Naco Consumption.
"The total time allotted for all eating is 10 minutes, and the winner in each category will receive a silver-plated Naco trophy."
"A silver-plated Naco, Kim! How cool is that?" and Ron almost jumped from his chair with excitement and joy.
'Great: a silver-plated Naco: that will look great on my college applications,' thought Kim as she took a drink from her bottle of water.
"We're beating those losers Kim and Ron, Brick," Bonnie whispered to her partner, "and then…" she slipped off her shoe and ran her stocking-covered foot up and down Brick's leg and smiled, "let the games begin!" and Brick smiled his champion's smile.
"Amy, where's your partner?" Drew asked.
"Montgomery couldn't come, so I entered by myself," DNAmy replied sweetly, and Ron snorted softly..
Ron leaned over and whispered to Kim: "Translation: 'Monty' ran away from her like a stuck pig leaving the bacon factory line. SQUEAL! SQUEAL! SQUEAL!" and Kim shot water across the table.
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The workers brought out pans of freshly-made Nacos and bottles of water, placing one in front of each of the competitors.
The Announcer yelled into her microphone:
"Ladies and Gentlemen:
"BURP YOUR ENGINES! The crowd shouted its approval, and several raucous burps came from the stage, causing the crowd to cheer even louder.
and…
"BEGIN!" And the food massacre began.
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The noises coming from the stage were indescribable. Several contestants just jumped up and ran off of the stage, holding either their mouths or their stomachs.
Tara and Bonnie were beginning to match Shego's pale green: Tara a light green, and Bonnie a greenish-brown, while Shego was an even-deeper green. Drew was a light blue-green, and the Doctors Possible were both sweating but holding their own.
Amy was wolfing down Nacos, and Brick was methodically chewing his way threw the competition like they were linemen.
Big Mike had simply picked up his pan and was pouring the Nacos into his mouth, while Justine was tackling her pan-o-Nacos using her black-hole consumption process, starting at the middle of the pan and working her way towards the edges.
Joss was wishing that these Nacos were Ron's original recipe, and Wade was attacking them and watching his girl: in other words, paying no attention and having no concentration, whatsoever. He had his mind on other things, and his hand roamed over to Joss' knee. Joss promptly slapped his hand away from her leg, and he went back to eating.
Monique was marching thru Nacos like they were Capri pants at a Club Banana 90-per-cent-off sale, and Felix was using both his own arms and his robotic ones to constantly keep himself fed.
Rufus simply dived into the pan and was swimming his way thru the food, while Kim and Ron were having their own personal eating competition, Kim matching Ron Naco for Naco.
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"Five minutes remaining."
The food continued to disappear as did some of the contestants; several remained, but ate considerably slower.
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"And, here's your one minute warning."
The food and contestants were both disappearing.
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"Ten seconds!"
Cheering from the crowd.
"Five!
"Four!
"Three!
"Two!
"One!
"Time's up! Step away from the Nacos, and let's tally up the carnage!" and the crowd roared.
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"Ladies and Gentlemen!" and the crowd quieted down a bit, as the announcer walked up to the stage and the solo microphone in front of the contestants and the sight of the slaughter of the Nacos.
"Here are the lady's top three consumers:
"Tara King!
"Monique Jenkins! and
"Kim Possible!
"Let's have a really big cheer for the ladies!" and the audience roared.
"And now," the announcer continued, "Here are the men's top three consumers:
"Felix Renton!
"Mike Cotton! and
"Ron Stoppable!
"Let's have a yell for the gentlemen!" and the audience roared, again.
"And now," the announcer continued, "Here are the team top three consumers:
"The Doctors Possible: so, the doctors are in," and the audience laughed.
"Mike Cotton and Justine Flanner! and
"Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable!
"Let's hear it for all our finalists!" and the crowd let out a mighty 'BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!'
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"And now: the third place winner in ladies Naco Consumption, with an amazing 14 Nacos in 10 minutes:
"Kim Possible!
"The second place winner in ladies Naco Consumption, with a frightening 17 Nacos in 10 minutes:
"Monique Jenkins!
"And the ladies' Naco Consumption champion, somehow shoveling an even scarier 19 Nacos in 10 minutes into a cheerleader's body, is Tara King!
"Let's hear it for the top three ladies and the winner, Tara King!" and the audience roared its approval.
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"And now: the third place winner in men's Naco Consumption, with an amazing 19 Nacos in 10 minutes:
"Ron Stoppable!
"The second place winner in men's Naco Consumption, with an amazing 23 Nacos in 10 minutes:
"Felix Renton!
"And the men's Naco Consumption champion with a truly frightening, but not unexpected, 40 Nacos in 10 minutes, blowing away the competition in so many ways, is Mike Cotton!"
Kim and Ron were joined by their co-consumers, and together they all let out a mighty wind:
"BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!"
into the microphone, and the resultant sound shattered glass in the storefront across the street. The crowd, again, roared its approval.
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The announcer came back to her microphone and wiped it off with a large towel.
"And now: the third place winner in team Naco Consumption, with an amazing 33 Nacos in 10 minutes:
"Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable!
"The second place winners in team Naco Consumption, the only team that entered in pairs eating, with an amazing 40 Nacos in 10 minutes:
"The Doctors Possible!
"And, this year's first place winners in team Naco Consumption, with an incredible 52 Nacos in 10 minutes:
"Mike Cotton and Justine Flanner!"
The team champions walked up to the microphone, Mike holding Justine's hand as if she were the most fragile thing in the world, leaned over the microphone, and said:
"I love this little lady," Mike said in her quiet and deep voice. "She can eat good," and he bent down, picked Justine up by the waist, raised her face to his level, and kissed the shocked Justine Flanner.
Putting her down with a shocked yet huge, happy grin on her face, Mike picked up the microphone stand and spoke again.
"Brainy's cute," and Justine blushed, and she jumped up and kissed Mike's cheek, and Big Mike did a Big Blush.
The announcer responded:
"Now, THAT was FREAKY!"
Ron looked at Kim, and Kim looked back at Ron.
"Well, we didn't win first place," Ron bemoaned.
"But, we can still train," Kim whispered: she had "the look," and she led him away with a smile and a whisper.
He only had one thing to say:
"Oh, man…." And he left smiling with his BFGF, and he trailed behind so he could watch the bubbles bounce.
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'I like watching Kim walk away,' Ron thought as Kim looked back over her shoulder with a 'come hither' look.
'I like it a lot,' as he hurried to catch up with her, but not too much: bubbles were still in motion. 'Backfied in motion: I'm gonna have to penalize you-ooo-ooo," he thought and grinned wickedly.
"Rufus?" and the head popped up out of his pocket, looking stuffed, and crawled slowly to Ron's shoulder.
"Whaddya think? Should I tell her, Rufus?" and Rufus gave Ron two tiny thumb's-up.
"I'm glad; sometimes you've got confidence in me than I have, Rufus," Ron grinned at his little buddy. "Someday, I'll get up the courage to really tell hew how I feel:
"I want her to be Mrs. Ron Stoppable…but after we're out of college, and after Mr. Dr. P gets rid of those deep space probes!" and Ron hurried, yelling "Wait up, KP!"
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story complete….
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A/N afterward:
I hope you enjoyed this flight of fancy…for followers of Jade (and, you known who you are!), I'll update my profile soon to show how and where this story fits into the universe.
Thanks for reading, and please review.