A/N: Just a little oneshot, idea came to me when I was making dinner for my family on Thursday.
Disclaimer: Still don't own them, wish I did though. I'd arrange for Danny to have Lindsay upside down and halfway to happy land in a heartbeat.
Lindsay eyed the turkey sitting on her counter. Tentatively she reached out a finger and poked the breast. Yup, still frozen rock solid. Great, how am I supposed to roast a frozen bird? she thought to herself. "Danny, can you come here a minute?" she yelled.
Danny entered the kitchen, looked at the bird and poked it. "It's still frozen."
"I am aware of that fact. How do I unfreeze it to start roasting it? It needs to be put in the oven half an hour ago if it's going to be ready in six hours."
"Well, Montana, I don't think that's going to happen. Does it say on the package how to defrost it fast?"
Lindsay flipped the bird over, reading the small print on the plastic. "You can soak it in a sink of cold water, changing the water every half hour, until the bird is defrosted."
Spotting a bowl on the counter, Danny peered in and was surprised to see what looked like sausage, bread and onions mixed together. "What's this for?" he asked.
"That's the stuffing. I was getting ready to stuff the bird when I discovered it was still frozen."
"That's stuffing? I thought you just boiled water, dumped in the package of dried mix and let it sit for five minutes."
Lindsay closed her eyes and slowly counted to ten. "Stovetop is not real stuffing. You need real stuffing for Thanksgiving dinner." She placed the frozen turkey in the sink, filling the rest of the space with cold water. Setting the timer for 30 minutes she went back into the living room to watch the Macy's parade.
- - - - -
Eight hours later Danny pulled the beautifully roasted turkey out of the oven. After letting it sit for twenty minutes Lindsay transferred the turkey to a carving platter, and was spooning the stuffing into a bowl when she pulled out a thick, curved bony piece. "What in the world?"
Danny entered the kitchen at that moment, taking in the scene and snorted with laughter. "Forget to empty the turkey before filling it with stuffing?" he asked with a chuckle.
"I took out the bag of giblets," she responded indignantly. "I thought the neck was in the bag with the other stuff."
Danny shook his head. "I thought you said you'd cooked a turkey before."
"I have. Fresh turkey, not frozen."
"Even fresh turkeys have the neck and giblets stored in the body cavity."
"Not the fresh ones I've made" she retorted.
Danny thought for a moment. "So, just how fresh were the turkeys you're used to cooking?" he asked in a dubious tone.
"Fresh enough that I helped my mom pluck them, the carcasses still warm under our hands."
Danny grimaced, almost sorry that he'd asked. "Well, you learned two important facts today."
"What would they be?" she asked in a wary tone.
"Frozen turkeys take longer than one day to defrost in the fridge, and the neck is not bagged with the giblets," he said with a laugh, pulling her in for a hug.
Lindsay leaned into him, muttering, "Next year we're getting the boxed dinner offered at the market."
A/N: Lindsay's lessons in turkey are based on my own experiences last year and this year. I'm scared to see what next year's lesson will be.
Local markets in my area offer Thanksgiving dinner in a box: roasted bird, stuffing, potatoes, corn, rolls and pie. All you need to do is heat and serve. Nice and easy for the non-culinary inclined.