I have corrected some mistakes that were present, particularly thanks to a specific person for helping me. It is pretty much the same content wise, aside from correcting mistakes that I have no excuse for.

It has been quite a while since I last saw Sakurako, but even so, I still think about her constantly: her resplendent, wavy blonde hair, that's always so soft and luscious. Her vibrant, beautiful brown eyes, with her slender, sexy physique. Her vivacious gait, that never fails to fill me with joy. I always love cooking for her, the smile she makes after she takes her first bite is adorable.

I could probably go on forever about every little aspect of hers that I both love, and sometimes get mildly bemused at, but I won't.

I completely and utterly adore that girl. Words are too insignificant to accurately describe my affection for her.

Almost everything reminds me of her, from the way we used to cuddle up to watch TV, take baths together, and even how certain items would mysteriously go missing. I really miss her waking me up in the morning with her energetic bearing. I have never been a morning person, yet every so often, her enthusiasm rubs off on me. She has this wonderful purifying effect, where everything feels brighter, happier, and warmer - simply by her presence.

It hasn't been the same since she left. I know she's going to come back, it's just that the uncertainty is negatively affecting both my mood and my work output: it's like I am on autopilot.

We have been together since the last day of middle school. It was a magical moment. At graduation she'd seemed distracted and refused to look me in the eyes. She had shown signs of being very frustrated, at the time I'd thought that she had simply been anguished over the graduation ceremony, which would've been very peculiar for her. But she hadn't been. I later learnt that she'd reached the point where she could no longer ignore both her homosexuality and her lust for me; she had to do something to stop her sexual frustrations from controlling her mind. I still remember it vividly:

She had avoided me as much as she could. She hadn't gazed at my breasts once that entire day, I knew right then that something must be wrong. I had to find out what. I had asked her to come to a quiet area, behind the Amusement Club, so I could find out what had bothered her.

As a small aside, I was thirteen when I'd conclusively realized that I was a lesbian and that I was deeply in love with Sakurako. I had decided that I would never try to date her, as I assumed that she would be straight, and that any attempt to confess my feelings to her would only damage our friendship. The closest I'd got to confessing was when I had made sweets for her with special, home-made bags, to try and make my feelings for her as obvious as I could. I'd thought at the time that I was content with being her friend and that this had to be enough for me, but I subconsciously knew that it wasn't. I needed more. I had wrote her several confessions, but I couldn't force myself to give one to her, so in the end I had to destroy them. Only once had I taken one of them to school, but the anxiety barrier had been too much to overcome, and I had to rip it up once I came back home.

But back to the story: when we got to the location I noticed that she was visibly shaking. She tried to act calm and stoic by asking me, in her superior tone, what did I want to talk about. It was obvious that she was uneasy. As her voice trembled, I could tell she was on the verge of ebullition.

"Sakurako, you seem to be very upset," I said. "I want to know what has troubled you so much."

"Stupid Himawari! At least have a reason before wasting my time!" she shouted, before trying to leave.

"Now I know that something is wrong, you always try to storm off without explaining anything. I really care about you and I don't want to see you so flustered."

She turned around. She had tried to retort coherently, but instead she'd started stammering. "W-what? I... N-no you don't Himawari. Nothing is wrong with me. A-and, and, I'm not flustered!"

"Then why have you turned so red? Are you unwell? Please, all I want is what's best for you."

She turned to flee.

"Wait, please don't," I said. "Remember what happened when you tried to run away from me in the past."

She stopped.

"You are about to be a high school student, you should at least try to face your problems."

"It isn't possible," Sakurako said faintly.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"Please tell me what you just said."

"I didn't say anything. Stupid boobs probably made you hear things."

"Well, it sounded as though you said 'it isn't possible'," I said as I walked up to her and put my hands on her shoulders. "Sakurako, I am your friend, I want to know what has been bothering you." I was going to hug her, but she'd spontaneously retaliated almost as soon as I touched her.

The next thing I knew was that she was facing me again, but the moment I looked at her face her eyes darted away. Her entire face was glowing with colour. Although she was trembling and looked like she was about to breakdown, she tried to hold onto her usual aggression.

"Stop it idiot! I already told you that it was nothing... It isn't possible. If I was to do anything now, everything could be lost. You could hate me because of it." Tears were already streaming down her face.

I hugged her.

She hugged me back, to my surprise.

After an unknowable amount of time, we pulled away and looked into each other's eyes for the first time that day. Her animated brown eyes were a joy to behold, even though they were glittering.

"Why do you have to be like this. You should have just gotten angry and shouted at me, like always. It'll never work out."

"What won't work?" I asked her, as I wiped her tears away.

"Idiot. It's your boobs' fault for pushing me in this direction."

She moved away from me, went into her bag, and pulled out a letter.

"I, uh, just wanted to give you this today," she said anxiously.

I still have the letter:

"Himawari,

"I wanted to write you this letter because I often find it very hard to tell someone else how I feel. These past three years with you have been wonderful and - while I did enjoy elementary school - middle school was even better. I wish I wasn't so aggressive towards you, but I found that, most of the time, it just happened - even though I desperately tried to stop myself. If you could ignore that behaviour of mine, I would be very happy.

"It always made me so happy when you baked me sweets or shared some with me. I love your home made sweets. Every time I got some, my heart panged with both delight and pain. The pain was due to an understanding that this was as close as I will ever get to you, and that I will never be able to thank you for them properly. Like you had even made me a scarf, which was incredible and I remember back then I had to ruin it by saying something stupid. But I love it so much, it is one of my most cherished posessions. (She spelt it wrong.)

"Thanking you isn't the only reason I gave you this letter. I did it so I could confess to you how much you mean to me, which I know I could never do in person. I love you so much Himawari. I also really do love your boobs. It frustates me that I always look at them without meaning to."

After I read it, I looked up to see her silently weeping. When she realized I had finished, she said a few statements: that she still wants to be friends and that this shouldn't affect our relationship, as she needed to get those thoughts and emotions off of her chest, as they were eating away at her. I was a bit overwhelmed at that moment, so I can't recall precisely what she said.

"I love you too Sakurako." It took me awhile to say that.

I embraced her. We kissed each other; it was magical, it was perfection. Everything felt absolutely correct: I was certain that we were made for each other.

Not long afterwards, we decided that we should be in a sexual relationship together.

It was a lot of fun being together during school. Especially walking into high school hand in hand ready to take it on together - of course what I mean by that is that we pretended to simply be friends, as we were afraid of the backlash from others. Nadeshiko-san told us that we cannot tell anyone, even our closest friends. We tried very hard to act normal. I am not sure if anyone did realize the intimacy of our relationship, though Akaza-san might have - she was very attentive to things like that.

Thinking back to middle school, it honestly felt like I had been 13 for a very long time. That isn't to say that I didn't have fun, but rather that it literally felt exponentially longer, since I remember having two distinct Christmases: one where I was on a mock date with Sakurako and the other when we went to karaoke with the Amusement Club and the student council. There were also what felt like time skips. It was unusual to say the least. I don't regret it, because it helped me understand how I feel. It had been like the gods themselves took pity on us and made it so we had to realize our affections before we were allowed to proceed. Anyone reading this must think I am a bit crazy, but everyone noticed those time skips as well.

They were great times though, particularly when I spent it with the entire group. I think I got a bit lost in all of it, especially with girls like Toshinou-senpai and Sakurako, who are both hyperactive at nearly all hours of the day. Although Sakurako drops off to sleep very easily, she still does it now after all these years. It is very cute when it happens, it can turn watching TV into the most wonderful of feelings. She is so beautiful when she sleeps.

The group is still together somewhat. There are much higher tensions due to who is dating - and has dated – who. For example, during their last year of middle school Sugiura-senpai asked out Toshinou-senpai and so they started going out. Initially they kept it a secret, even if it was a bit too obvious in all honesty: like Toshinou-senpai would come to the student council room for no reason, not even to steal her pudding, and they'd walk home together or go on a date; or she'd just stop by before going to the Amusement Club. We all knew that they were dating, even Sakurako picked up on it.

They didn't last very long. I think they lasted about two months. The main reason was Funami-senpai: she got jealous and she worked out what was going on in about a day. While Funami-senpai is cool headed and calm most of the time, when she's jealous she gets very passive aggressive. Like she started not letting Toshinou-senpai stay at her apartment, and if she was in a bad mood, she would simply not let her in. It was very clear she felt betrayed by her.

One day she confided in me, she said it was because she felt lost, like she had nowhere to run: she didn't want to talk to Ikeda-senpai because she was too close to Sugiura-senpai. Obviously, she wouldn't want to talk to Sakurako. Yoshikawa-san would've taken it the wrong way. And finally she felt that it would've worried Akaza-san too much and that it could have scared her that the group could've potentially broken up. She couldn't have talked to her parents about this, as they would've told Toshinou-senpai's parents about their daughter's "choice" in romantic partners.

To sum up what Funami-senpai told me was that she understood that she was being petty, and that Toshinou-senpai can date whomever she wants, but she also couldn't help feeling that her heart had been broken. It fractured further whenever Toshinou-senpai insinuated that she was going on a date. She told me that she would've been, relatively, fine if she'd had a boyfriend, as that would've meant that there was absolutely no chance for her; and from that point on, she could've slowly forgotten her lust.

She asked me how I would take it, if Sakurako got together with Akaza-san. I obviously didn't answer her properly, as she would've known that feeling better than I, but it would've been unbearable. I would've probably spent most of my time in a depressed stupor, slowly trying to piece my heart back together. The worst part would have been that I knew I was being irrational, but there would have been no way for my heart and mind to do anything but break.

I bet the same thing would have happened as well; as Toshinou-senpai quickly understood that Funami-senpai had started to hate her because of who she had been dating. Sakurako probably would've been far more obvious, she would have asked me outright why I haven't talked to her anymore. What Toshinou-senpai did was pretty awful in my opinion: once she understood that Funami-senpai was jealous, she started to flirt with her.

I honestly don't get why Sugiura-senpai fancied her beyond this point, but she still does, it's depressing as there are far better girls out there for her.

It's not that I dislike Toshinou-senpai, it's because she's one of those girls that understands that she's hot and she uses it, any and every way she can. The exception to this is Funami-senpai, who can control her somewhat. But every now and then, she slips up and Toshinou-senpai does something she shouldn't have, they end up having a fight over what she did, and they break up.

While Funami-senpai is wallowing in melancholy, Toshinou-senpai is busy picking up more girls or trying to get back together with Sugiura-senpai: who has very little backbone, especially when it comes to Toshinou-senpai.

This cycle has taken place twice now. I never know, when I meet up with either Funami-senpai or Sugiura-senpai, which one of them is currently going out with Toshinou-senpai and who is wallowing in misery.

I really hope Sugiura-senpai finds someone else to date, she's a lovely person, but she's a bit too meek and hopeless at times. She's still young and still very beautiful, with her long violaceous hair, she doesn't have very large breasts but she still has a curvy body, kind of like Sakurako. She could get almost any girl she wants. But she wants Toshinou-senpai, and she just can't control her; she might in ten or twenty years when Toshinou-senpai wants to settle down. But right now they want different things - Toshinou-senpai wants to have fun and Sugiura-senpai wants to settle down.

And I just want my Sakurako back. No I don't want her back, I need her back. But her parents requested that she should spend some time with them, they're probably begging her not to leave them like Nadeshiko-san did: they forced her to abandon them, due to the way they handled everything.

The main thing that worries me is the fact that they have only recently found out about our relationship. It was stupid, Sakurako gave them a key to our place without telling me, even though I specifically told her that they shouldn't have a key for this precise reason.

The long and short of it is thus, they walked in on us having sex. I tried to argue some futile nonsense about us merely being naked and sounding like we were having sex with each other. I didn't really know where to go from there, but at least I tried. Her mother told us to be quiet or they'll be 'angry'. They couldn't do anything else, it was not like they could cut us off money-wise or kick her out, as she didn't live there.

I really wanted to be honest, and tell them that we are a couple - who are deeply in love with each other - and that we were actually fucking. Obviously I didn't, and for some reason we acted as if we were the ones in the wrong. But they wouldn't have talked to us ever again, if I tried to do anything like that, and Sakurako needs her parents. I just really wanted to do it, since both of us are lesbians, it only makes sense for us to stop pretending to be straight in anyway. We could never be happy with anyone but each other.

But anyway, I need to get her back. I don't know what they are planning...

There's a knock on my door. I really hope it is her. I am writing this down for my sanity's sake, it helps me get some things off my chest... without Sakurako around.