DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN YU-GI-OH (NO MATTER HOW MUCH I WISH IT) AND NEVER WILL. IF YOU ARE A DIE-HARD MARIK FAN THEN YOU HAD BETTER NOT READ THIS…

The Emergency Yami Sedating Kit.

As demonstrated here for you by Yami Marik

Does your Yami ever get those hyperactive moments where even the biggest club/bat/any other hard object fails to bring a release? If so, then heres the solution to all your Yami related problems! The Emergency Yami Sedating Kit!

Your Emergency Yami Sedating Kit can bring even sugar induced hyper activeness to a grinding halt. This fantastic product comes with a mildly poisonous tranquilliser gun with 2 refills, a baseball bat with detachable spikes, sleeping pills disguised as popular sugary snacks and a crowbar (in case your Yami decides to insert their Millennium Item or anything else somewhere nasty).

You'll get all this for a grand total of £19.99! With just £5.00 post and packing this is a value for money offer that you just can't miss!

Now to demonstrate some of the Kit's qualities. Now for my beautiful assistant; come here please Marik.

Marik shuffles over in a nice pink spangled dress and stiletto heels

Okay, here we have a run-of-the-mill, demonic Yami. To demonstrate, we must first add around 100g of sugar (in this case Smarties) to our Yami.

Throws a few packets of Smarties at Marik

When the Yami is sufficiently hyper:

Marik's eyes roll back in their sockets

We turn to your first piece of equipment, the 8DE56AD tranquilliser gun. Hold the gun, thin end first towards the probably now rampaging Yami and pull the trigger.

A nice feathery dart flies out of the gun and buries itself in Marik's ass

Before we step in to try and move our Yami, we must first check that our dart has worked. Step one; walk slowly over to your Yami. Step 2, call the Yami's name. If there is no response then you can proceed in moving your Yami but if your Yami responds then feel free to use your second piece of equipment.

Hoists a rather evil looking baseball bat with large metal spikes protruding from the top

Now this little treasure can even double up as a normal baseball bat. Just push the button (being careful not to impale yourself on a spike) to release the spikes and they will fold up into a compact flat-pack. To use this little gem, raise it above your head and bring it down at high speed towards your Yami (preferably aiming for head or crotch). I think I'll keep the spikes on and demonstrate its effects on my beautiful assistant.

Raises baseball bat and swings it down on Marik's head as he moves to one side

MARIK I TOLD YOU NOT TO MOVE! Ha… The swelling will subside…………. There isn't really that much blood…….. Don't mess with that eye Marik, you've got another one, it'll be fine…um…….. I think that's all the demonstrating we need to do………..

Marik is carted away on a stretcher

………………That was The Emergency Yami Sedating Kit……………..

I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT NO YAMIS WERE HURT IN THE MAKING OF THIS COMMERCIAL (UNLESS YOU COUNT MARIK).