Author's Note: Now that I look back on it, I was pretty obsessed this game. I was obsessed enough to start a fanfic. It's been half a year since I started and updated, but I suppose I should try and finish it, so I'll tweak several chapters and start new ones, hopefully soon.
In a universe made of wood, there is a three dimensional world with cute two dimensional characters. This is a world where a small wildfire could cause massive casualties and paper cuts are only natural to have. This place is none other than the world of Paper Mario. And here, there have been many great adventures. Well, actually only two so far, but this is story is of the third adventure, which isn't as much as an adventure but rather more as a humorous exploit, which doesn't even have any significance, but, well…whatever.
Deep in the pastures of Petal Meadows, two koopas popped out of a warp pipe. The first of the turtles had a mustache that was slightly turning grey from old age. He wore a yellow shell and a hard hat. This was, of course, the famous archeologist, Kolorado. Behind him was blue shelled Kooper, in the prime of his youth. He adjusted his red ascot and looked back at the warp pipe. A goomba with a blue hat struggled out, along with a couple of oversized bags.
"Kooper…" Goombario huffed, "when you asked me…to come with you…for an excavation…I didn't think…I'd be carrying…all the stuff." He honestly wanted to pass out right there on the grass.
"Oh, don't be such a cry baby," Kooper replied, "You out of all people should know that goombas are natural slave laborers."
"Wait, did you just refer to me as your slave?" the goomba asked.
"Of course I did."
"By golly!" Kolorado yelled, "Hooktail's Castle is right over there!" He ran and leaped into another warp tunnel, but due to it being covered in stone, his skull was crushed on impact. It was a good thing he had a helmet on.
"It's a good thing you had a helmet on, otherwise you might've killed off your last brain cell," Goombario said to his fallen body. Kooper gave him a glare for insulting his all-time hero.
"Err…well, judging by these two stones, looks like we need a sun and a moon relic to gain access to the castle," he said, observing the scene.
"Hey, we should go to Petalburg and ask the locals about this," the blue shelled one commented.
"Petalburg, eh? Sounds like a rip-off from Pokemon," Goombario remarked.
"What?"
"I said nothing," he said, "Hey! Do you think we should leave Kolorado here, alone?" He noted that he was already leaving to town.
"Oh, he'll be alright," Kooper said, "He is world-famous after all. Now carry our supplies slave!" The koopa exited the area while Goombario groaned and began to drag the bags with his lips.
"…guh," Kolorado sputtered once he left.
Meanwhile…
In Petalburg, a female goomba walked out of an inn, yawning. She had blond hair and wore a hardhat with a red tie. She also had a skin condition that made her slightly paler than regular goombas. She walked over to Koops' house and saw Koopie Koo, most likely the only female koopa in the world, standing outside nonchalantly with her hair tied in a ponytail in a pink hair band.
"Have fun in Shhwonk Fortress?" the koopa asked.
"You bet! That place is a literal goldmine for archeologists like me!" she replied enthusiastically. The turtle sighed.
"Are you sure you have to leave so soon?" she asked.
"Yeah, I have to get the sun and moon stones back to Frankly for study," Goombella said saddened by the thought, "Tell Koops goodbye for me." She started walking, but stopped. She realized that she didn't the relics with her.
"Say, exactly where are the stones anyway?" the goomba asked. Koopie Koo looked up and turned her head toward the pink house.
"I think Mayor Kroop has them," she said, "but I wouldn't suggest-" She ignored her warning and opened the door. Quickly, she shut it and tried to hold back the vomit, but with no hands, it made it all the harder.
"The bathroom's upstairs," Koopie Koo said to her. Instantly, the goomba went inside the house and rushed up the steps.
Elsewhere in the village…
Goombario had just entered Petalburg, where Kooper was interviewing some of the civilians. Being so tired from pulling a string of extremely heavy bags with his lips two hundred yards, the goomba left the bags in front of a toad house and went in. He collapsed on the bed without talking to the inn keeper and closed his eyes.
Four seconds later…
"That'll be five coins," the toad said waking him up.
"What? Why?" he asked.
"Toad's have to make a living too you know," she replied.
"But back in Mushroom Kingdom, everything was free!" Goombario complained.
"You're not in Mushroom Kingdom anymore," she said menacingly, "Now give me the coins or I'll cut off your feet." The innkeeper pulled out a saw and smiled creepily at him. The goomba stepped back.
"Fine!" he said, "Take the money!" He ran out of there as fast as he could, and found that the bags he placed in front of the inn had somehow followed him. He shrugged and started talking to a koopa.
"I'm looking to gain access to Hooktail's Castle. Know anyone who might be able to help me?" Goombario asked.
"The mayor might know. He lives in the pink house," he said.
Pink house? Sounds hideous, the goomba thought.
"The mayor's old. I mean real old. He's so old, it's creepy how he can still move around," green boots said to him.
"Err…yeah," he said leaving, "got it." Goombario walked to the other side of town and jumped up to the pink house. Suddenly he heard something from the house adjacent to him, which was odd since goombas didn't have ears. He looked back and saw the female goomba walk out the door. Goombario went into a state of shock.
"Oh…dear…god," he said aloud.
Another Note: I've never liked Goombario. It's a random thought, but I'm just putting it out there, just so that you know.