He sees it in the little things.
His gaze settles on the charred remains of a couch, but that's not the scene that filters in through his vision. Instead he finds his sister being engulfed by a too-large blanket with a huge bowl of popcorn in her lap, laughing as their mother attempts to carry the tray of drinks in without spilling any. It really is quite humorous; she's about bent completely over holding the five sodas she decided they needed next to her stomach and a large bag of chips with dip. She had always supported junk food on movie night. His sister peeked around the weighted down woman and invited him to join them with a large, sincere smile.
(No, it's girls' night. I'm not a girl and I can't stand your chick flicks.)
She just smiled sweetly, eyes glinting mischeviously.
Sure, Derek, whatever you say.
She knew the truth. The notebook was his favorite.
Shaking his head, he regrets saying no now. Heart aching, he wandered away before another memory could start up.
A few days later -Scott's just left- he sees them in the kitchen. His mother is cooking, staring absently at a page, until his father wanders in and wraps her up in a warm hug. Returning from her memories, she settles into his embrace with a happy smile. Derek scurries away before they catch him up after bedtime.
His eyes water just a little, but he doesn't cry, and he wishes Scott hadn't left.
The next time it happens, Derek is crawling into bed and, for a moment, he's sure he sees his parents standing at the doorway. The wood is new and finished, the paint smooth and blue. They're smiling at him, wishing him a good night.
We love you, son.
(I love you too.)
If you have nightmares...
(Mom, I'm too old to sleep with my parents.)
You're never too old for a hug though, his father says, eyes twinkling as the two of them descend on their baby boy with kisses and tickles.
(No! Ah! -giggle- ah! Ok! Ok!) He always conceded when they attacked him with parental love. He always would.
This time he did cry.
The next morning, Derek viciously assaulted his mental capabilities. Why are these memories coming now of all times? Was it because since he was an alpha, had his own pack, actually had time for once (or just because he was happy?) that his mind was finally delving into the grief he'd left secluded deep within his mind? He'd forgotten all about it, too caught up in the band aid of revenge. Now revenge was gone- he'd killed Peter and Peter had killed Kate-, and now he was left stinging... And slightly lost.
He barely remembered living a life free of constant danger or disaster. It was kind of nice.
The relentless memories overtook him again when he least expected it. He'd never been knocked aside by his own mind when he was with others, only when he was alone.
But he was wrestling with Scott out in the woods, trying to finally teach the pup his place (he hadn't really been trying. He didn't want to scare the boy), when everything suddenly went dark and the only light came from his home, which was ablaze, and the only sound cracking the stoic silence of the night was the cackling of the fire and his family's screams.
"NO!" He roared, claws digging deep into the soft dirt. "NO!" Eyes glowed from within to match the reflection of the fire and bones rearranged, becoming more feral.
But something was wrong.
There was warmth beneath him. Hard, unyielding warmth. A beta? A beta in his territory that didn't submit? Reason and rationality slowly bled out of his head through his ears, and his blunt human teeth grew long, sharp, and dangerous.
"Derek?" The wolf seemed to soften underneath him, but not enough. "You okay? Derek?"
The growl rumbled out from his chest, reverberating throughout the clearing.
"Derek?" The boy asked, tentatively, fear etching at his eyes.
But Derek didn't see. He only saw the unwilling beta beneath him. And the crisp remains of his father clutching at the burnt wisp of a body that was once his mother. And there was his aunt Lily, a look of such agony forever frozen onto her blackened face. They were gone forever.
And all he wanted was a family.
A roar split his chest as he screamed his pain. He missed them, god, how he missed them. He jerked forward, sinking saber fangs into the only living thing left in the fire-hazed clearing. The being beneath him stiffened, screaming from pain as Derek's power rushed through him, forcefully converting his allegiance.
"Mine," he snarled through his teeth as soon as the boy went limp and quit writhing. Derek pulled up, eyes fading to green as Scott stared up at him, betrayal all over his face. A moment later, the small wolf's eyes shut and he passed out.
He was tired of it. So very tired. Why couldn't the past stay where it belonged?
A/N: Um... I don't even know. This has been sitting on my phone for god knows how long, and I honestly didn't know what to do with it. Hope you enjoyed... Or not enjoyed. Whatever floats your boat.