The Ups and Downs of Being a Fern
An: I do not own Arrow.
Summary: The life of Team Arrow's Fern is a lot more challenging than one would think. It's written from the Fern's PoV. Oh and this Fern has an attitude.
The loft was quiet, rendering it perfect for him to sleep, that was until The Brat entered the apartment. The Brat wasn't alone either, The Bruised one was with her as well as his saviour, Lyla! He knew it would only take her a few moments for her to notice him.
"Thea!" Lyla exclaimed, "How many times do I need to tell you, you have to water the Fern!"
"Opps, I forgot,"
'No Shit' he thought. It had been five days since he last had a drop of water. FIVE DAYS! He knows he's supposed to be a hardy plant but still! He's not a cactus!
"Felicity is so going to kill you when she comes back and finds her fern dead," Lyla said.
"Well she should have given it to someone more responsible like you!" Thea countered.
He agreed wholeheartedly.
"I'm raising a toddler and helping manage Team Arrow. She didn't want to give me an extra responsibility when you could use a little of that in your life."
The two women started arguing but that didn't stop Lyla from filling a pot with water and watering him. He basked in the relief, all of his roots finally in moist soil. He greedily drew the water up into his leaves. He tuned out the arguing girls, preferring instead to remember the first time he met Felicity.
Flashback 1
He watched another dolt come into the garden shop looking for flowers. The dolt asked the attendant for help and this one was even more idiotic because he couldn't answer basic questions about his girlfriend. The attendant took him over to the roses. When in doubt buy roses. The lilies by the door started a loud debate over a petite blond with glasses that just walked in. She was as bright as sunshine the sunflowers claimed, hoping she was there for them. Unlike most persons that came to the shop, she appeared to know what she wanted, walking over to his section as soon as she spotted the ferns. He thought she would have gone for the green fern next to him. That fern was annoying, always prattling on about romance and such nonsense. He was a more practical fern. He was surprised when she picked him out instantly. She hadn't even given the others a thought. It was like she knew right away that he was to be hers.
He groaned. Now he was going to some sappy girl's apartment to sit on the middle of some table with zero entertainment. He was surprised when they walked into a dark building and then went down some stairs into a cool basement. It was dark. Now he knew why she wanted a fern. Most plants couldn't handle low light but he could. In fact, he preferred things a little on the dark side. She placed him on a desk where he actually had a great view of things. She was alone for a while before she was joined by three other guys. They went about doing what they usually did which gave him some insight into what was going on down there. At least he had finally gotten her name, Felicity.
The tall one that put on the green hood that she was obviously smitten with asked her what he was. He hence forth named him The Blind One. He had to be blind if he needed the explanation that he was a fern. The young one glanced at him and ignored him. He called him The Mute. He hadn't said a word the entire time he was there. Then there was the other muscled man that had glanced at him when he first entered. Felicity called him Digg.
People he liked he referred to by their real names. He had been pleasantly surprised to discover that the entertainment in the basement was better than the flower shop, particularly the drama between Felicity and The Blind One. Felicity's babbles were highly entertaining. She was also the only one to water him, prune him and talk to him. Oh how he missed her.
He looked at Lyla who was pruning the dead leaves off of him. She had a sympathetic smile on her face.
"Don't worry," she said to him. Besides Felicity, Lyla was the only other person that spoke to him and told him what was going on. Her daughter though was the devil in disguise! Always pulling harshly at his leaves.
"Felicity will be back soon,"
He perked up immediately. She was coming back. Did she break up with the The Blind One? Did she realise that he put him in too much danger? He thought back to his first near brush with death.
Flashback 2
The Blind One was alone in the basement. He was extra broody and he knew only one person could make him like that. He wondered what had happened. He hated it when things happened outside of his field of vision. Now he has to fill in the gap for himself. Digg had been lecturing the Blind One, who was supposed to go and talk to Felicity. Maybe she turned him down. Nah his Felicity would never turn The Blind One down, she loved the idiot for some reason. Maybe he saw her in the arms of the Palmer dude. That would definitely initiate that face. Suddenly, in a fit of anger, The Blind One sent stuff flying across the room, items barely missing him. That was not cool. He could have been severely injured. That was totally not the way to get Felicity into your bed dude.
That hadn't been the only time he was in danger either. The next week, there was the crazy boomerang guy.
Flashback 3
Things had been very interesting lately. There were lots of new people in the basement. There was The Fast One, The Weak One, who in their right mind would want to use The Blind One's Salmon Ladder, and Caitlyn, who brought Felicity a special kind of fertiliser for him. He liked her. The fertiliser had given him a nice energy boost.
With the addition of the extra persons, the lair was fun and happy. Even the Blind One had come out of that funk he was stuck in. The girls were left alone in the lair for a little while. Then the man with the boomerang appeared and it was the first time that he was worried not only for himself but the others with him. They were his three favourite people. He panicked as the boomerang whizzed past him each time. He cheered when the man finally left only to panic when he saw the blood on Lyla. Blood on humans wasn't a good thing. The Fast One soon appeared and Lyla was taken away.
He would later conclude that Lyla was ok. They went through a time when The Blind One disappeared. He was very happy, there were no near death experiences for him but Felicity was sad. She would cry when she watered him. During The Blind One's absence The Bruised one started appearing. He didn't think he ever saw her without a bruise. They were always attending to her after missions. The Blind One eventually returned and this lead to his worse brush with death that came at the hands of The Kluts.
Flashback 4
Things in the lair had been very tense, though things between The Blind One and Felicity seemed to be getting better, especially after that kiss on the cheek. He hadn't seen The Blind One that day but they seemed intent on cleaning. A few hours later, a host of strange people appeared. They started boxing up everything. One, he later referred to as the The Kluts, knocked into him and he crashed face first into the ground. His pot was broken and the precious soil that surrounded his roots had left him partially exposed. The Kluts didn't even stop to fix him. Felicity looked heartbroken looking at him but she made no move to help him. He blamed the new intruders.
He stayed like that for days before Felicity came to get him, long after the strange men cleared painstakingly took care of him and nursed him back to health. Then one day she was saying goodbye and leaving him with The Brat, The Blind One's sister. He should have known it was going to be bad since she was related to the man that caused his near death experiences. Avoiding death had become a dangerous cat and mouse game for him that often left him weak with wilted leaves. He was getting tired of the game.
The door to the loft swung open and he was greeted with the most beautiful sight he had ever seen, a tanned happy Felicity. He would ignore The Blind One's presence and how the The Blind One had an arm wrapped around Felicity. Pleasantries were exchange between The Brat, Felicity and The Blind One. He was very happy when she zeroed in on him next.
"Oh Google, Thea what have you done to him!" she said immediately breaking away from The Blind One to come to him.
She took him straight to the kitchen, placing him in the sink and running the water. Her hands ran through his leaves and she immediately started removing the dead leaves. The low growl that left her told him she wasn't happy with his state. Well neither was he but at least things were looking up now.
"Oh baby don't worry. Mama's going to get you all back to normal. Once you're in a good place, I'll give you some of that nice fertiliser from Caitlyn that you like."
No more droughts, just love and attention from his favourite person. No more games with death, though he wondered what The Blind One might get them involved in this time. Perhaps he should be placed in an unbreakable pot? He was a very important member of the team after all. He gave them oxygen.
A few weeks later, he found himself on a round table in the new lair. He snorted at that. Everyone was supposed to be equal around the round table but Felicity bossed everyone around. She was even punishing The Brat by making her water him. He liked his new spot. He had more area to survey and he found the entertainment prospects quite high. Though he could do without the touchy feely business The Blind One had going on with Felicity. All in all, things were going much better than before. That is, until the next near death experience.
An: Thanks for reading. The concept art for the new lair with the fern photoshopped on to the table inspired the ending. I'm not sure who to credit that work of art too.