July 12, 2018

Atlanta, GA

A pop song playing softly over the radio was the only thing that broke the silence as Chloe's baby blue Bug sped down the interstate. She hummed along to the song, her fingers tapping sporadically to the beat.

Beca glanced at her from the passenger seat, tearing her gaze from the sight of the signs leading to Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport. She knew that Chloe was the kind of person who tried to keep composure. At first glance, she seemed fine. But Beca knew better. She knew by the lack of animated chatter coming from her best friend. Not only was she not saying anything, but she had hardly pulled her eyes away from the road since they'd been in the car. She was alternating between tapping along to the music and gripping the steering wheel tightly enough that it put strain on her fingers. It was uncharacteristic of her to fidget so much.

"Chloe?"

"Hm, yeah?" Chloe perked up, seeming to snap out of her trance to look at Beca. "What's up, Becs?"

"Are you okay?" she asked, her voice with a softer edge than usual. "You're quiet."

"Oh—yeah, I'm fine!" she said, trying to give Beca a smile. Her eyes darted away quickly.

Beca frowned. She was even less convinced than before. She'd seen the flicker of anxiety in Chloe's eyes before she'd had the chance to compose herself.

"Okay." she said, silently admitting defeat. Talking about it wouldn't help. If anything, it would just make Chloe more emotional. When she was the one driving, that was the last thing they needed to happen.

They rode the rest of the way in silence. The tension had only seemed to thicken since Beca's last inquiry. She snuck another glance at her friend and felt the knot in her stomach tighten.

Beca had never been adept when it came to dealing with emotions. In fact, it was purely in her nature to want to deny that she even felt a certain way about leaving Atlanta behind, and Chloe with it.

But she wasn't made of stone—at least not anymore. Over the years, the Bellas had softened her up to the vulnerability of human connection, mostly against her will. That, along with the fact that Chloe was her best friend. She would have had to be a real heartless bitch to leave behind the girl who had sought her out, fought for her, and supported her through and through without so much as a second thought. The truth was, leaving Chloe meant more to her than that. More than she wanted to admit, even to herself.

But now wasn't the time to dwell on all of that. She had to be the one to stay strong, for Chloe's sake.

Neither woman spoke as they arrived at Beca's terminal and Chloe parked in the garage. Beca knew that things were about to take a turn for the worse once she had unloaded her bags and Chloe came around to ask her if she was ready to go, scarcely making eye contact. When she finally did look at her, she seemed to stare straight through her, her eyes as sad and pitiful as those of a big blue-eyed puppy's.

"Yeah," Beca said quietly, nodding. "I'm ready."

She wanted to say something, anything, to make Chloe feel better. Anything to see that radiant smile back on her face and the light back in her eyes. It was unsettling to think that it was her fault that the usually jubilant redhead was so subdued. But every time she tried to speak, the words seemed to get stuck in her throat.

Beca was leaving to start her career in LA. In just a few weeks, Chloe would be headed back to Portland for vet school. They were going their separate ways. There was nothing Beca could say to make that truth any less difficult to swallow.

By the time she'd pondered all of this, they'd reached the entrance to security.

"You got your boarding pass?" Chloe asked, startling Beca from her thoughts.

"Yeah," she nodded, gesturing to her phone. "I'm all checked in."

"Okay."

Chloe just stared, her eyes misty as she fiddled aimlessly with the strap of her purse. Beca's stomach began to churn as she stared back, unable to tear her gaze away.

In one way, she felt that they were being just a little dramatic about all of this. It wasn't as if they were never going to see each other again. But their parting represented something more; something that wasn't just superficial. For them, it was the end of an era. The end of an era that was giving way to a new phase in their lives. They were starting fresh—but this time they wouldn't be by each other's side along the way.

"I'm going to miss you."

It had come out as softly as a whisper, Chloe's voice wavering. Beca felt something inside of her give a painful tug, and that was the very moment when Chloe's tears began to spill over.

"Oh, Chlo," she murmured with a frown, immediately taking her in her arms. Chloe hugged her tightly and hid her face in Beca's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she said, pulling away to wipe at her eyes. "I told myself I wouldn't cry—"

"Chlo, it's okay," Beca assured her, rubbing her arm. "I think I would be a little offended if you didn't cry."

Chloe laughed, and Beca couldn't help but smile a little.

"I'm going to miss you, too."

Wide blue eyes met her gaze.

"You're going to kill it in LA," she said, her eyes shining. "I just know you will."

"And you're going to kick major ass in vet school," Beca told her. "They won't know what hit them."

Chloe laughed and Beca smiled again.

"Promise to keep in touch?"

Beca nodded, her stomach riddled with knots. A lump was rising in her throat.

"Promise," she said, stubbornly ignoring the tears threatening to cloud her vision. "Portland isn't that far from Los Angeles, anyway."

Chloe beamed, and threw her arms around her again. Beca stood there, frozen in shock until her mind registered with what was happening. She wasn't sure of what exactly had taken her by surprise—it wasn't as if physical affection from the redhead was something outside of the norm. But somehow, this seemed different.

Beca knew that another one of her barriers had been broken down when she felt herself give in and pull Chloe closer to her, wrapping her arms around her waist and leaning her head against her shoulder. She felt a strange warmth move through her, simultaneously filling her up and tearing her in two. For someone who tended to avoid physical contact in most situations, having her arms wrapped around Chloe was…nice. She found herself not wanting to let go.

After a few moments, Chloe was the first to move away, pulling away from her tentatively.

"I don't want to keep you," she told her in a quiet voice, crystalline eyes fluttering up to look at her.

Beca's brows knitted together with a pinched smile. She wanted to argue, but Chloe was right. It was time for her to go.

The longer she looked at her, the more impossible the idea of turning around and walking away from her felt. A weight was bearing down on her chest, making it hard for her to breathe.

The idea of leaving had always seemed so easy. It had never been a question of if she'd leave, but when. She had thought about leaving before she'd even gotten to Barden. She never could have imagined that the moment she had been so long awaiting would be so difficult to swallow.

In that very moment, it was hard for her to convince herself that this was the right thing to do. Sure, she had been offered a once-in-a-lifetime career opportunity. Sure, it was the big break she'd always wanted. But she was about to give up her friends and her life and everything she knew now in exchange for it. Whenever she had imagined making that choice, it had always seemed like an easy sacrifice.

Now, seeing her crestfallen best friend, it felt like anything but easy.

Beca knew she had to leave. But she wanted to leave Chloe with something. Something that was lasting, that would make her feel loved; something to let her know how much she really did care about her.

Out of nowhere, she felt a sudden physical urge to lean forward and kiss her.

The realization was jarring, and jolted her insides with shock. She couldn't even begin to comprehend what those feelings were, where they had come from, or if they were even real.

All she knew was that she didn't want to leave Chloe. But she had to.

"I'll text you when I'm through security?" Beca offered, her voice faint as she tried to keep her tears at bay.

"Okay," Chloe said softly, blinking back moisture from her own eyes. "I'll see you around, Becs."

Beca took her hand without thinking about it, giving it a gentle squeeze as she brushed her fingers over hers.

"I'll see you around, Chlo."

Chloe gave her one last smile through teary eyes, giving her hand a squeeze in return. After a lingering moment, Beca finally forced herself to turn around and head towards security. Just when she was about to enter, she turned to see Chloe staring back at her. She smiled and gave her one last wave. Beca did the same.

Taking a deep breath, she passed through the gate. This time she didn't look back.

October 31, 2020

Los Angeles, CA

Beca huffed a sigh of exasperation as she took one good look at her living room. She had just finished tearing through her room, collecting various trash and dirty dishes, kicking shit under her bed and shoving piles of clothes anywhere she could fit them. Somehow, she had felt that the rest of her apartment had not been as bad in comparison. With throw pillows and blankets thrown about, more dirty dishes and trash, plus an entire table coffee table full of unopened mail, she wasn't sure how she had ever thought that.

Groaning, she dropped her kitchen bag full of trash at her side and plopped herself down in front of the table to tackle the overflowing collection of letters. She picked up a pile and began sorting.

"Bill, bill, bill," she rattled off, tossing them to the side with hardly a second glance. "Oh—"

Something made her stop short. In her hands was a smaller, more square envelope. On the front in bold round handwriting was her name and address. Intrigued, Beca flipped it in her hands. The return address, printed on a sticker, read the name Cynthia-Rose Adams.

"Shit," Beca muttered, tearing open the envelope with a sudden urgency. Inside was another envelope, this time consisting of black card stock with a round pink sticker sealing it. Out slid a matching card printed with looping script in the same shade of pink.

"Fuck."

Cynthia Rose was getting married.

This was not news, Beca realized. The couple had had a long engagement, and none of the Bellas had known when CR would actually end up tying the knot.

Beca felt a pang of guilt in her stomach. The invitation had been sitting on her coffee table, unopened, probably for weeks and she'd had absolutely no idea.

She frowned, and looked at the date printed on the card. November 16th, 2020.

"Oh, fuck," Beca blurted again, her eyes widening. The wedding was a mere two weeks away.

She sat back and let out a breath, just processing. She would get the time off of work—it was a weekend, so she wasn't too worried about that. In two weeks, she'd be back in Atlanta for the first time in two years. Apart from Amy, she hadn't seen any of the Bellas in two years, having scarcely even kept in touch. And in just two short weeks, they would all be together again.

It wasn't something that sat well with Beca. The time had seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. She'd been so busy working that she'd hardly noticed—and when she had, it had been too late. There were countless ignored messages, and it was all just too much. Beca simply didn't have the time to go back and rekindle all of the relationships she'd let turn stagnant.

Even Amy, who had followed her to LA, she rarely saw anymore. It was her own fault, and Beca knew that. She wasn't proud of it. But work had taken over everything else in her life. If she had learned anything from her career at that point, it was that if you ever wanted to be someone, there was no room for free time. Period. In the music industry, it was all or nothing. There were no excuses to be made. There was no slack given to anyone.

Beca blinked, looking back down at the invitation still in her hands. Since she'd set foot in LA, she'd been nonstop. This was the first time in a long time, the first time that she could remember, where she had been pulled back down to earth for even just a moment. Most of the time, she just didn't have the time to think about anything other than what she was doing next. It was easy to get caught up in the fast pace of day-to-day life and forget where you came from. Forget the people who put you there, who lifted you up and inspired you to succeed.

For Beca, those people were the Bellas. After all they had done for her, it wracked her with guilt that she had just up and left and hadn't looked back.

It hadn't been that easy, though—at least not at first. She still remembered that dreary July day as clear as if it had been yesterday.

Saying goodbye to Chloe had been more difficult than she ever could have imagined. Of course, she didn't think it would be easy to leave her best friend. But this was her. Beca Mitchell. Beca Mitchell didn't have feelings. Or at least, she wasn't supposed to.

Barden had changed her. It had broken her down and opened her up to new possibilities, rendering her vulnerable enough to have finally let people in. And it had been the most rewarding experience of her life.

Beca knew that she was a better person because of Barden and the Bellas. And she owe it all to Chloe. If it hadn't been for her picking her out at the activities fair, if she hadn't bombarded her in the shower and pestered her to join that ridiculous, over-the-top a cappella group, Beca's life would have been drastically different.

Out of everything, she thought of Chloe the most. She owed her so much, and yet, she hadn't been able to uphold a promise as simple as being a good friend to her in return. Even when Chloe had been the best friend she'd ever had.

It was a guilt that weighed on her every day, in some form or another, no matter how busy she seemed to be. It wasn't hard for her to be reminded of the bubbly, vivacious redhead. They had made so many memories together that it didn't take much. But each passing nostalgic thought pulled at that guilt, reminding her of how she had carelessly lost touch with the most important person in her life. It tore her up inside to imagine how Chloe might think of her now.

Beca blinked again. This time moisture ebbed at her eyes, pooling at the corners and spilling silently down her cheeks. How sad was it that this was the most she had thought about her friends in months. She had been so headfirst into her work that this was the most she had been in touch with reality in what felt like a long, long time. Life was passing her by and she hadn't even noticed.

The realization was hitting her hard.

In fact, it was a perfect example of how frantically she jumped from one thing to the next. Beca was set to attend some sort of industry Halloween party that night, and her coworker was absolutely adamant about setting her up with someone. Beca felt less than stellar about all of it, but since she had no choice in the matter of attending said party, she figured that perhaps getting laid might help to take her mind off of how crazy everything was, if only for just one night.

Now, sitting on the floor of her apartment in tears, it felt like the absolute last thing she wanted.

But again, she didn't have a choice. She would pick herself up, wipe away her tears, and get on with whatever she was doing. No excuses.

Even if Chloe was the only thing she'd be able to think about, all night long.