A/N: OMG sorry if this is OOC, I just wanted to write this! This is my first fanfiction so please be nice - not beta'd.
INTRO. Return from commercial break.
VOICEOVER: The Prosecution believes OJ made juice of his ex-wife and supposed lover. The Defence claims the house was dry and OJ was all the way to Chicago by then. The Prosecution hopes to clear up this timeline twister.
JJ: You were on your way to Chicago?
OJ: Yes, ma'am. I had a flight later that night that I had to catch. I went home after a dinner meeting to pick up my luggage.
JJ: And where was your ex-wife?
OJ: She was still out on the town with the other plaintiff, Mr. Goldman.
NBS: NOPE! We were dead by then. OJ killed us.
JJ: uh-uh-uh - don't speak out of turn. You're in my courtroom.
MC: We have witnesses that say they saw Mr. Simpson at home during the time of the murder.
JJ: And who are you?
MC: I'm -
[JJ cuts her off]
JJ: Stand-up. What's your name and how are you involved?
MC: I'm Marcia Clark, Ms. Simpson's lawyer.
JJ: Lawyer? There's no lawyers in small claims court.
MC [mumbling]: There's no murder in small claims court either but -
JJ: WHAT? You're mumbling, speak up.
MC: I was saying that we have witnesses, proof that Mr. Simpson was home at the time of the murders.
JJ: Well, are they here today?
MC: Unfortunately, they had a vet visit today, but we have an affidavit.
JJ: Let's hear it. Byrd.
[Byrd goes up to get the affidavit from Clark, brings it to Judge Judy]
JJ: Thank you, Byrd.
[Judge Judy lowers her reading glasses to look at the affidavit. The page is covered with the words "woof and bark" with a stamp of a paw print at the end where the signature goes. She nods sagely.]
JJ: Well, Mr. Simpson, what do you have to say about this.
OJ: Yes, I remember now. The dog barking wasn't because of my dead ex-wife and her friend - it happened before I left for dinner I reopened a cut on my finger. I was yelling and screaming because I had gotten salt in the wound.
JJ: [giving OJ a look] Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining.
OJ: It's true, ma'am.
[Judge Judy gives him another disbelieving look. OJ holds her gaze. Ultimately, she accepts his answer]
MC: We have another affidavit to pinpoint the time of the murder, and that OJ was home and able to commit the crime.
[Byrd goes to take this second affidavit to Judge Judy. She reads it and then looks to OJ]
JJ: According to this, witnesses say you were home before eleven, right when the murders took place.
OJ: That's impossible! I was on route to Chicago by then. I'm a stickler for time. That's why I wear TWO watches!
[OJ rolls up his right sleeve to reveal two watches on his wrist.
[Judge Judy nods in acceptance]
MC: We also have physical proof of OJ being at the scene of the crime. His left glove was found at the scene of the crime, covered in blood!
[The Judge Judy audience gasps!]
[Marcia produces an evidence bag with the bloodied glove and hands it off to Byrd.]
MC: As you can see, we had the DNA tested. The blood on the outside belongs to the victims.
NBS & RG: Victims… we're right here…
MC to NBS & RG: Hush, you're ghosts.
MC: We also found blood on the inside, belonging to Mr. Simpson.
OJ: My friend here can better explain that.
JJ: Your friend? [Judge Judy looks at the man sitting next to OJ] Sir, please stand up and state your name.
JC: My name is Johnnie Cochran. I'm Mr. Simpson's lawyer.
JJ: I don't trust lawyers.
JC: Well ma'am, even if you don't trust me, you have to trust the truth. Here are the facts, when my client was leaving for his dinner meeting, he accidentally ran into the family's AC unit on the way out, dropping the glove. Like OJ mentioned earlier, he had, just that day, reopened a cut on his hand. Explaining the blood on the glove. However, in this day and age, we all know that DNA is so new, and cannot be trusted. How can we really know it's my clients' blood on the glove? IN ADDITION to that, the glove doesn't even fit my client. And we know, if the glove don't fit, you must acquit.
JJ: Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining. If his hand doesn't even fit the glove, how did his blood get on the INSIDE?
JC: Well ma'am, we can't even definitively prove that it is my client's blood -
MC: Yes we can! The DNA results are right there~
JJ: ORDER. I will not have you talking over people in my courtroom. You will wait your turn.
MC: He's spewing lies! The evidence is all right there!
JJ: That's enough! If you can't follow my rules, you can take a seat.
MC: He's the one not following the rules! He's lying under oath!
JJ: My courtroom, my rules. I don't see any instance of the defence lying under oath. And I will not permit such slander in my courtroom. Please take a seat Ms. Clark or I will have Byrd escort you from my presense.
[MC is about to saying something, but after seeing the look on Judge Judy's face, keeps the comment to herself and reluctantly takes a seat]
[Judge Judy looks expectantly at JC to finish explaining the DNA and glove situation]
JC: These gloves, are pretty old. My client has had them for a long time and was planning on throwing them away. He had found them in his closet earlier and after trying them on, realized they didn't fit and was planning on disposing of them. As I was saying earlier, Mr. Simpson had reopened a cut on his hand earlier and that explains how what is allegedly his blood got on the inside of the glove. However, since the glove does not fit my client, there's not way he could have committed the crime. For the murderer to have committed such a violent and insidious act, they must have been able to comfortably grasp a knife with the gloves on, and my client simply cannot do that. If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit!
JJ: How do we know the glove doesn't fit? Mr. Simpson, we will need you to try the glove on.
OJ: Of course, ma'am.
[Byrd brings forth the glove in question and a pair of latex gloves. OJ puts on the latex gloves, then reaches into the evidence bag to retrieve the bloodied glove. He goes to put the glove on his left hand. It goes on, but everyone in the courtroom can tell that it does not fit. OJ's hand is contorted in a way that he cannot grasp a knife.]
JC: See!
[The courtroom audience nods in agreement, the glove does not fit. There's murmurs - the glove doesn't fit! He must be acquitted! How could the Juice murder anyone?!]
JJ: ORDER. ORDER. Everyone be quiet. I will not tolerate this behavior in my courtroom.
[The audience is appropriately chastised.]
MC: Your Honor, you cannot possibly be what he's spewing! It's ridiculous!
JJ: up-pup-pup-pup. I thought I told you to sit down and be quiet.
MC: But Your Honor!
JJ: No buts! Another interruption and I'll have this whole case thrown out.
[MC sits back down]
JJ: Now, you're right. He doesn't fit the glove. It doesn't seem possible for him to comfortable hold a knife to stab Ms. Simpson and Mr. Goldman repeatedly, and so violently. So with this piece of reasonable doubt and lack of motive-
MC: WAIT YOUR HONOR! I have proof of motive. I have this affidavit from a friend of Mr. Simpson. A couple of weeks before the incident, Mr. Simpson confided to this man his desire to kill his wife.
[Judge Judy gives MC a look like biiiiiitch]
JJ: Ms. Clark, I said no more outbursts, but I will look at this affidavit. It better be worth my time.
[Byrd goes to pick up the affidavit from MC. He brings it back to JJ and she begins reading it. About midway through, JJ starts laughing.]
JJ [directed at MC]: Do you think I'm an idiot?
MC: Ummm…
JJ: Um is not an answer.
MC: But Mr. Simpson confided in our witness, of his deep carnal, subconscious desire to kill his wife!
JJ: Dreams are not evidence. I'm done with this kangaroo court. I am not an idiot, and you Ms. Clark, you seem like a nice lady. I don't know how you got dragged into this situation, but you are not helping the case. There's enough reasonable doubt for Mr. Simpson to not have been your client's killer. That's simply the facts, and if we don't listen to the facts and truth - we're stupid. And I'm no stupid person Ms. Clark.
[JJ bangs her gavel]
JJ: Case closed, I find in favor of the defendant - not guilty. Mr. Simpson, you are free to go.