Disclaimer: We don't own anything, so don't sue us.

A/N: This is a random creation thought up by myself and Samdum the Bouncing Hobbit during a two-hour car trip from Maine to New Hampshire. This is to be read like a soap opera! Uhhh, enjoy! This was originally posted on SHGrey18's account, but has now been moved here to our joint account, SWD18. Thanks:) Oh, the format of the commercials has been changed to avoid conflicts . . . basically they're the same, just not in script format!

General Hogwarts

Pilot Episode- Sirius PMS's

Lily walked down the hall arm in arm with Sirius Black. They were surrounded by a crowd of adoring friends. Absent from that crowd of friends was one James Potter (dramatic moody bad-guy music plays as the camera pans over to James). No, James was sulking in a corner. He had formerly been Sirius's best friend, until they'd had a falling out over Lily.

Flashback (fuzzy dream sequence edge is around the screen)

"Sirius! How could you!" Sirius shrugged.

"It just came out before I knew what I said," (dramatic sad music).

"But Sirius, I love her! You knew that!"

"James, I- I'm sorry, but-"

"Sorry? I've been secretly pining for years over the only woman I've ever loved, and you just asked her out! And you're sorry!"

End Flashback

"Gosh, Lily," Adoring Friend #3 said, "you're really pretty." Lily smiled and blushed modestly.

"Thanks." Sirius turned to her.

"Lily! Is this what I think it is?"

"What?"

"Aha! You admit it! It is!"

"Is what?"

"You're secretly going out with-"

Commercial Break!

"Do your kids not eat their greens? Are you tired of forcing broccoli down their throats?" (Shows black and white photo of veggies).

"Timmy, eat your broccoli," says a concerned looking mother.

"But I don't wanna!"

"Introducing new . . . CHEESE! (Color picture of cheese-covered broccoli) A great way to make any healthy green taste better and load your kid with fat! Mmmmm, cheese!"

"Your secretly going out with-" dramatic music plays, "him?" Sirius pointed at Adoring Friend #3. Lily starts crying.

"No, Sirius! I promise, I'm not!"

"Erm . . ." Adoring Friend #3 looks nervous. Lily gives him a "don't say anything" look behind Sirius's back (dramatic scandal music plays).

"That's it, Lily," Sirius had started sobbing, "I've had enough, we're through!"

"No, Sirius!" Sirius nodded. As he started to walk away, he pulled a chocolate bar out of his pocket. "Wait a minute . . . crying, mood swings, chocolate, you've got all the symptoms of . . . PMS!" Sirius froze where he was.

"Uh . . ."

"Sirius, is there something you need to tell me?"

"Lily, I'll be truthful with you. That surgery I got last week, it wasn't appendicitis."

"You mean you're really a . . . a . . ."

"Yes, a woman!" There was a group gasp and Lily ran away crying. Remus jumped out of the crowd of adoring friends.

"Aha! Now it's out! I was covering up for you, but no longer!" He looked at the crowd and the authors. "See! I told you I wasn't a woman!"

Join us next week for a new episode of General Hogwarts! To be continued . . .