A/N Another oldie that I thought I'd already posted here. This was a spec fic when it was written, you'd probably consider it AU now.
Disclaimer: The Winchesters don't belong to me, but I wish they did.
Warnings: Spoilers/References to Dean's deal and NRFTWicked. Takes place one week before NRFTWicked.
Choices
By Swellison
Click-click-click-click-click-click-click.
Dean muted the television and glanced towards Sam's bed, tracking down the odd sound.
Sam lay on his back, head propped up by three motel pillows, open laptop on his stomach. He had changed into boxers and a t-shirt and crawled under the covers more than two hours earlier, then activated his laptop, as he'd done at every chunk of free time for the past several months. Earlier, Sam's drawn-up knees had supported the laptop, now only one leg was bent at the knee, his left leg stretched flat under the covers. Sam's head was tipped awkwardly to one side, like an airplane passenger who fell asleep without the benefit of a doughnut-shaped neck pillow.
Rising quietly from his bed, Dean leaned over Sam, gently extracting the laptop from his brother's lax fingers, noting that one thumb held down the space bar, accounting for the mad clicking noise. At the movement, Sam stirred, one eye opening to stare blearily at Dean setting the laptop on the night table.
"Get some sleep, Tiger." Dean removed a couple of the pillows, encouraging Sam to lie flat. "Tomorrow is another day." Well, today, actually, since it was past two in the morning. Sam mumbled something, and then rolled over on his stomach and Dean turned out the light.
Dean noiselessly picked up the laptop and carried it over to the kitchenette area of their room, setting it on the table. He sat down, angling the chair so that he could keep an eye on both Sam and the laptop. The soundless television to Dean's right provided some illumination, as did the computer. Momentarily, Dean just stared at the monitor, and then he typed in a few keywords and began surfing. His thoughts drifted to this last year on the road.
After Sam had learned about his deal with the Crossroads demon, he had insisted that Dean tell him everything he could about the pact. Dead did, but only after extracting a promise in return; his brother could do anything in his power to save Dean except make another deal with the Crossroads demon, or any other demon, period. Sam was not going to follow in his father's and his brother's footsteps; there would be no more Winchester deals with demons.
Dean told Sam everything, including the demon's threat that Sam would drop dead, and be "back to rotten meat in no time" if Dean welshed or weaseled on the deal. Then Dean had flashed his 'gotcha' smile; Sam had already found the loophole in that threat. If Sam saved Dean from his deal, they were both free and clear, since any welshing or weaseling would be Sam's, not Dean's. From that point on, Dean sought to bury his Crossroads deal under their day-to-day hunting activities, concentrating on tracking down the demons who'd escaped from the Devil's Gate and all the other supernatural evils they had encountered.
They had spent Christmas in Blue Earth, at Pastor Jim's old place, which their old friend had willed to the Winchester brothers. Since they were in Minnesota, they had no lack of snow, and Sam had pulled out all stops to make their holiday perfect. A month later, he had surpassed himself with Dean's birthday treat – five days at the Grand Canyon, including the two-day mule ride to the bottom of the canyon, the train ride with its staged robbery (in the interests of safety, Sam had warned Dean about the 'robbery' ahead of time), and three nights in the best suite the Grand Canyon Lodge had to offer. Sam had even found a skinwalker for them to take care of on their way out. Truly memorable.
Dean had tried to reciprocate for Sam's birthday, finding a hunt in upstate New York and surprising Sam at the restaurant with Sarah Blake. ("Subtle, Dean," Sam had murmured under his breath. "Hey, I'm smooth, not subtle," Dean had retorted, then headed back to the motel, leaving Sam and Sarah to enjoy dessert and the rest of the night in private.)
The days had just piled up after that, filled with hunting, the endless road, motel rooms and Sam. Increasingly, Sam had buried himself in the laptop, leaving Dean with only hours of mindless television to amuse himself. A few nights ago, he'd stumbled on the last half of an I Dream of Jeannie rerun. Totally useless in terms of genie-lore, but it got Dean to thinking about his encounter with that djinn last year, particularly his last conversation with dream-Mom.
"I'll die." Dean said. "The djinn'll drain the life out of me in a couple days."
"But in here," Mom's gentle voice rebutted, "with us, it'll feel like years… like a lifetime. I promise, no more pain or fear. Just love and comfort and safety. Dean, stay with us."
Once planted, the words stayed in his brain. Dean found himself idly detailing the requirements of his new wish. Mom and Dad would still be together, healthy and very much in love. Dad would still have his half of the garage, and Dean would own the other half, having bought out Mike. They would specialize in the restoration and maintenance of classic cars, and Dean's Impala, plus her KAZ2Y5 license and minus the weapons box in the trunk, would be their best advertising. He and Sam would connect, sharing a solid brotherly bond of mutual love and respect, no matter how little they had in common. Sam and Jess would relocate to Lawrence, and Sam would be attending law school at the University of Kansas, after graduating summa cum laude from Stanford. Dean would even keep a few parts of his first wish: he and Carmen would be living together, and Dad would still have his softball team. And no guilt over choosing happiness over hunting, since this time Dean knew that the only life at stake was his own.
Planning his wish gave Dean the illusion of choice, and people with choices had control of their lives; they weren't just marking time until the hell hounds descended. But Sam had gotten nowhere in his quest to thwart Dean's deal with the Crossroads demon and Dean only had six days left. Last night, after Dean separated Sam from the laptop, he had started surfing the web for signs of djinn activity.
Dean diverted his thoughts back to the present and re-read the information currently on the laptop's screen. Yep, he'd found it: overwhelming evidence of a djinn's handiwork – and only three states away. He could boost a car, find the djinn and be in dream-Lawrence in less than a day. Plenty of time, before… He'd have it all: Mom and Dad, Sam, Jessica, Carmen, the Impala – a wonderful lifetime, lived in a couple of days while the djinn drained him of his life's blood. Still, Dean would have everything.
He heard Sam stirring in bed, rolling over on his side and his eyes tracked automatically to his brother.
He'd have everything, but Sam would have nothing. Nothing but the knowledge that he'd failed in his vow to save Dean. Worse, Dean would have abandoned him before Sam even had a chance to square off against the Crossroads demon. Nothing could be guaranteed to send Sam flying for the nearest yarrow-lined crossroads faster than that. Dean knew his brother would make a deal to save him in a heartbeat, and the demons would finally have the one Winchester they really wanted: Sam.
No. Not going to happen.
Dean carefully x'ed out of the website displayed on the screen, then called up and erased all the cookies from his session. He also deleted the last several URLs from the laptop's history. If things worked out, he could recreate his search next week, and he and Sam would go after the djinn together. If they didn't, he sure didn't want Sam to be alone, stumbling across that website and figuring out what Dean had been searching for and why.
If things didn't work out…. John Winchester had clawed his way out of Hell, and Dean was well-known for following in his father's footsteps, wasn't he?
tbc