Chapter one

"Fresh start"

After Tom Chandler left the wardroom he looked for the one person who occupied his heart. Seeing her after all the time and in someone others arms, made him realize that he could not indeed run from his destiny. He found her standing at the nose of the Nathan James and looking down at the sea. Sasha sensed him coming further to her site and butterflies flew in her midsection.

„You should be resting", she said turning towards him and leaning against the railing.

„Resting doesn't seem to be my thing," Chandler replied looking at her. Sasha bent down her head hearing this from him and smiled bemused.

„Well you saved the world. Again." Sasha stated and looked him in the eye.

„We did – It was always we",Tom replied immediately before turning his gaze to her. „But at least we are getting a fresh start." He looked her in the eyes hoping to see some reaction.

„Fresh start sounds like a good plan," Sasha said and rested her palm at his chin looking him deeply in the eyes.

Oh god what would he give to bend his head and kiss her senseless. But he knew she needed time to get over Fletcher and process all what happened. He felt cold, when Sasha took her hand away. She turned around and walked towards the midship. Tom glanced after her figure and when she got out of sight, he turned to the front of the Nathan James looking in the direction his kids were waiting for him.

He frowned at the thought of his children. Will they welcome him after he left them with Cali without any further explanation? Good, Ashley told him that they were ok when he phoned her at the beginning of the mission. But was she honest with him? He knew she didn't like Cali that much. She thought he would forget her mother. – Darien. He missed her terribly.

But to be honest with himself, someone other occupied his heart and it wasn't Cali. He never loved her. She was there for him in his darkest hours. She was there when he needed someone. She was there when he couldn't feel anything, like he was numb. She sensed it, when he was like this. And she easily took over and kissed him. And kissing lead further to lovemaking. Lovemaking? No there was no love involved, when he took her to bed. Not for him. It was only physical, nothing more. When he fucked her he felt alive. But it was only for that matter of time he was inside of her. Afterwards he fell back in that black hole.

When he thought about the woman who occupied his heart, he didn't feel the burdens of life on his shoulders. When he thought of that beautiful girl with dark hair and white porcelain skin, he felt butterflies in his stomach. Like he had the day when he really saw her for the first time. They knew each other from those endless lessons, but at some point in their professional life he saw her with other eyes. And it never went away.

When Sasha broke up wit him, she broke his heart in millions of pieces, but for some miracle, she never left it. Darien had put it back together but there was always a spot for Sasha in his heart which grew more and more since she returned into his life some two years ago. His love to Darien on the other hand faded more and more and became a little spot. How would his kids react to Sasha and her being in his and automatically in their life? He hoped that they would welcome her and see how much she meant to him. Only time will tell, he thought and turned away to get to his room. He had to be strong for his kids tomorrow. Somehow he felt that it will be a tough day.

Later that night, Sasha laid in her bed and tried to get some rest. But her thoughts wandered to a certain handsome blue-eyed captain and their conversation outside on deck. The thought of a fresh start was tempting. What does she want? A fresh start for her all alone or a fresh start with him at her side? If she choose him there were the kids to consider. Was she ready for that responsibility? Was she ready for another man at her site?

The last one betrayed her in the most awful way. And Tom? He betrayed her 20 months ago when he left the ship. At that time she couldn't understand why he left. Sure he had to parent his kids after his father was murdered from Shaw's men. But to turn his back completely against the crew, the Navy and especially against her, hurt her a lot. And it still hurts.

"No", she thought,"Tom Chandler shouldn't be on my thoughts at the moment. Think about your own future, your own career and your own life! And the rest will sort out eventually."