A/N: TOTAL CRACK ALERT! OOC AHOY ! I completely blame my Sephiroth figurine for this one. My Squall figurine won't even look at me. Well, I'll be getting the Zack figurine soon. He'll make everything better… or worse. You can never tell with the Puppy.

Also, Vincent is Sephiroth's Daddy again. Vincent Valentine and Zack Fair come from Final Fantasy 7.

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts

Summary: Zack and Cloud have their family. Sephiroth wants one too. To Leon's misfortune, he asked the wrong people for advice.

Pairings: Sephiroth/Leon, Zack/Cloud, Cid/Vin

Warnings: Yaoi, Bondage, SEX (Whoa Whoa Nelly!), OOC-Submissive-Kitten Leon, Ultimate Mega-Seme Sephiroth, Well-Meaning Zack, Well-Meaning-Ex-Turk Daddy Vincent, CID! And Cid-inspired Cursing, MPREG (Blame the Mako Forever!)

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fan fiction.

A Misguided Courtship

XXX

"Chocoboo. Baby Chocobooo. How I love my little Baby Chocobooo." Zack Fair littered his mate's lower belly with kisses while he sang away.

Rolling his eyes at the display, Cloud Fair, formerly Cloud Strife, ran his fingers through Zack's spiky black locks. "Zack. I'm still in my first trimester. I don't think the baby even has ears yet."

Resting his head against Cloud's hip, Zack beamed up at his spouse. "Baby can still feel the love though. Right?"

Motioning his arms, so Zack would move back up, Cloud gave a little smile back. "Yeah. Just like I can."

Inching back up, Zack rested his head on a pillow, while Cloud nestled against him. "Spiky. You're givin' the vibes off again. How many times do I have to tell ya? I'm here. I'm not going to disappear. Aerith gave the Cetra swear that I'm here for good. You pass by that crater I left in the street, when I fell, almost every day. If anything, our baby should cement the fact."

Cloud hid his unshed tears against Zack's strong, firm chest. "Can't help it, Zack. I've been so lost without you, for so long. I'll be better, once the baby's born. Promise."

Kissing the top of Cloud's head, Zack grinned. "Don't worry, Babe. Puppy's back and takin' care of everything! I even got Seph all squared away."

Pausing with the playing of nipples, Cloud's smile turned into an instant frown. "Zack? What did you do?"

Feeling the temperature drop in the room by twenty degrees, Zack made himself more comfortable before answering. "Nothing much. We just talked about family and stuff."

Cloud rose up and peered down at an innocent-looking Zack. "You didn't give him any 'advice.' Did you?"

Zack's glowing violet eyes veered away from Cloud's. "Spiky! Seph's my bestest friend! He just wants what we have. I think it's good. He said his dad's ecstatic at the news."

Cloud plopped back down, into Zack's warm embrace, with a huff. "Zack, Vincent's never been ecstatic about anything, even when he married Cid, and Sephiroth returned from the Darkness."

Zack pouted. "Y'okay. Maybe not ecstatic, but Seph did say Vincent seemed pleased with the thought of being a grandpa. With the way the Captain's been crowin' about ours, I know he'll be over the moon when Leon's pregnant."

Rolling away from Zack, Cloud groaned, and covered his face with his hands. "Zack! You didn't! Not Leon! Don't you ever wonder why he hides himself in the Computer Room night and day?"

Placing his hands behind his head, Zack stared up at the ceiling, in deep thought. "He likes computers?"

For that, Cloud play-punched his spouse in the gut. "No, stupid! Sephiroth never saw Leon until he returned from the Darkness. When he did, Sephiroth jumped Leon, and bit him on the neck. The bite left a big, Mako-singed, glow-in-the-dark scar. Leon's been hiding ever since. Why do you think Sephiroth stands in front of the Corridors all day?"

Tilting his head in confusion, Zack rubbed his gut, where Cloud hit him. "I just thought he liked being harassed by the three flying fairies who keep asking me for treasure."

Feeling sleepy, Cloud returned to Zack's embrace. "What advice did you give him?"

Sensing the danger of Puppy abuse passing, Zack tightened the embrace around his Chocobo. "I told him to be himself. Sephiroth's a good guy, once you get past the God persona. If that didn't work, I told him to ask his Dad for advice. I figured, since Cid and Vincent have been married forever, that Vincent would probably steer him right."

With his exuberance being met with total silence, Zack's smile turned upside-down, and he gave Cloud a nudge. "What did I do now? You said yourself that Vincent's the one who helped Seph regain his sanity. Wouldn't he be the best one to go to for advice?"

Cloud caressed Zack's pectorals, reminding himself that he loved his husband. Oh yes, he loved the silly Puppy with all his heart. "Zack, you do remember that Vincent is an ex-Turk, inhabited by four demons?"

Staring at the ceiling, Zack shrugged. "Sure."

Cloud's hand moved down to abdominals. "Do you remember how Turks used to show how their love for someone?"

Paling, Zack's forehead creased with distress. "Oh yeah. Wooh boy! Leon's not enhanced either. Good thing Seph can still do that God healing hoodoo."

Rising up, Cloud glared at his mate. "In any of your talks with Cid or Vincent, did the name Ghost Hotel ever come up?"

Scratching his neck, Zack flipped through recent memories. Blank eyes lit up with recognition, when the memory resurfaced. "I remember! We reminisced about the Gold Saucer. When we started talking about the Ghost Hotel, Vincent's eyes turned all gold, and then he whooshed away. Come to think of it, I didn't see Cid for a couple of days after that."

Moving up to nuzzle Zack's chin, Cloud relaxed in the crook of his neck. "That's because Cid can't walk after Chaos's done with him."

Zack jerked slightly back. "You mean Cid…"

Holding Zack's waist, Cloud nodded. "Yup. Cid says that he just lays back and thinks of engines."

Zack whistled, with newfound respect for the Captain. "The things you do for love."

Turning sideways, Zack kissed Cloud's shoulder. "Don't stress, Cloud. I reminded Seph that Leon wasn't a First Class SOLDIER. He swore that he'd be super careful."

Lulled by Zack's caresses, Cloud hummed with contentment. "Okay, Zack. I'm just wondering what advice Vincent gave him. The stories Reno used to tell me freaked the hell out of me. When a Turk loves you, you loved them back, even if you didn't want to."

Shaking his head to clear the nagging uneasiness away, Zack settled down for a rough night's sleep. "Yeah, Spiky. Don't worry about a thing. Leon's in good hands now. Sephiroth will be a good husband and father. I'm sure of it."

The resulting silence did not help Zack's conscience at all.

XXX

Arms secured to the large bed's headboard by his own belts, long legs held apart at the knees, by a firm separator bar, supported by a hook in the ceiling, Leon, once named Squall Leonhart, writhed in the leather restraints. His leaking erection dribbled over rock-hard abdominals. Orgasm held in check by a secure penis ring. "Please. Oh, please…"

Sephiroth surveyed his mate's pleasure with unblinking feline eyes. The heady lust intermixing with the mad love he felt inside.

Two long digits had been introduced into Leon's virgin anal entrance. The pads of the fingers ground their way onto his prostate. Leon's hips striving to meet them in every motion.

Sephiroth leaned forward to lick up the pre-cum drooling from Leon's member. His lips sucking up the salty drops found. His long tongue licked up-and-down the turgid shaft.

Leon gasped for more air. Fingers flailed above their restraints. The new golden wedding ring glinted in the light. "Sephiroth! Please! Can't take.. Gods!…"

Sephiroth paused in his lovemaking to pierce his mate with an icy glare. "Call me by my proper name."

Leon shook his head frantically. Tears of frustration flew every which way. "N-n-n-o! Force! You forced me! Don't want this! Can't make me!"

Sighing, with great patience, Sephiroth returned to Leon's lower torso, leaving trails of kisses along his abdomen. A third finger made its way into Leon's spasming canal, joining the others in the continued prostate abuse.

Leon's moans became yells. Hips rotating in the attempt to escape the non-stop pleasure.

Straightening up, Sephiroth relished in seeing his Lion lose all restraint, due to his ministrations. "That's right, Pretty Lion. I cannot take you, unless you give yourself fully to me. Our marriage means nothing without your submission."

Hearing Sephiroth bring up the dreaded word, Leon halted his writhing. Biting his lip, he strained for inner control. He couldn't submit. If he did, he knew he'd become that crying little boy on the porch again.

Poor little Kitten crying for his "Sis."

Spying his mate fighting with all his might, Sephiroth's lustful half-smile changed into the frightening doll's mask, that had terrified a whole world into submission.

Deftly unlatching the penis ring, Sephiroth blinked. Jamming the three fingers in, to the last knuckle, he crooked all three, thrusting them harshly into Leon's defenseless prostate.

Leon's scream echoed throughout the house. His erection sprayed its release over his own heaving chest, and lower belly, before Sephiroth's mouth caught the rest.

Licking his mate clean, Sephiroth waited for Leon's next move. He had already completed this lesson twice with his mate. Both times Leon's strong will had persevered. "Submission is all I ask, Leon. Heart, Home, Psyche, and Soul I have all given to you. Call me by my proper name, and my child you shall carry, as Cloud carries Zackary's. The choice belongs to you, Pretty Lion. If I am refused, you have been warned of the punishment."

If Leon still refused to submit, Sephiroth would move back to the whip. Healing Leon after the punishment had been dealt, he never whipped Leon the same place twice. His enhanced senses constantly monitored Leon's vital signs, ensuring that Leon's pride suffered; not his nervous system.

Leon's sobs filled the room. The shards of shattered fortitude lay strewn around him. Years and years of emotional walls had been methodically torn down, by Sephiroth, until the frigid Lion had been transformed back into the mewling Kitten. "No more, Husband. Please no more. I submit."

Standing up beside the bed, to his full height of seven feet, wings released to their fullest, Sephiroth's long shadow fell over his mate. His cold stare met Leon's defeated blue-grey one.

Seeing the absolute truth in his love's eyes, a rare smile appeared on Sephiroth's face.

Leon's eyes widened at the rare beauty, wondering again how he captured such a God's attention.

Seating himself beside his tied-up spouse, Sephiroth grasped Leon's face. Licking the falling tears away, he gave Leon the most gentlest kiss he had ever tasted.

Raising one long arm, Sephiroth undid the binding to the separator bar, allowing Leon's legs to fall to the bed.

Using his enhanced speed, in the space of two eye blinks, Sephiroth released his mate of all the bindings, leaving them in a loose pile next to the bed.

When Sephiroth purred, massaging the blood back into freed appendages, Leon mewled in return, while stretching with relief.

Nestling up to his exhausted love, Sephiroth covered Leon with caresses, making him feel safe and comforted. "Sleep, Pretty Lion. When you awaken, I shall fill you with my child."

Heeding Sephiroth's words, Leon's eyes slid shut. His body falling quickly into a deep slumber.

Humming to himself, Sephiroth ran proprietary hands over his hard-won prize.

Vincent, had warned him that the fight would be a long, drawn-out one. The strongest of mates, being the hardest to heel. The ensuing battle would take all the former General's perseverance and patience. But the rewards would be sweet, if Sephiroth came out the victor. Vincent Valentine had educated his son well in the Turks' way of love.

Sephiroth's gaze fastened onto Leon's face, transcendent in slumber, where before the visage had been scrunched up with emotional anguish and physical pain.

Leon had tested Sephiroth's steadfast resolve, to the very limits, with his intoxicating beauty, and coaxing entreaties. However, with Vincent's firm drilling about discipline resounding in his head, Sephiroth stayed the course.

Folding his great wing around himself, and his treasure, Sephiroth settled down for a well-deserved rest.

XXX

Moaning on hands-and-knees, Leon's head dropped to the mattress. Fingers clenched the sheets in tandem with Sephiroth's fingering. "More! Mmmm. Yes."

Having inserted three fingers inside his mate, widening him the best he could, Sephiroth resisted his love's pleas.

Flipping a surprised Leon over, Sephiroth flung a leg over each shoulder. Sitting up, he bent Leon's body in half, so Leon could actually see Sephiroth's great girth penetrating his anal entrance.

Scrabbling upward with fright, Leon attempted to move his hips out of the way.

Freezing Leon in place with his commanding stare, Sephiroth continued to drive his erection downward, impaling Leon with one thrust.

Ignoring Leon's pained moans, Sephiroth made tentative stabs, until a small scream erupted from Leon's astonished mouth.

Knowing he had rediscovered Leon's prostate, Sephiroth rested his upper body weight on fists set next to Leon's shoulders.

Reaffirming his position, Sephiroth directed all further thrusts towards that area, pile-driving a groaning Leon into the mattress.

Mouth issuing constant moans and groans, Leon stared up at the multi-winged God ravishing his body. His hands clenched tight around strong shoulders, just trying to hold on.

Leon's eyes followed Sephiroth's large hand, inhaling when the appendage grasped his erection, masturbating the member with harsh strokes.

Feeling Sephiroth's motions speed up, along with the strokes to his erection, Leon flung his head back with a yell. His released semen coating the hand which continued to rub.

Having complete cellular control over his body, hearing his mate's yell, Sephiroth allowed his own orgasm to issue forth, releasing a low groan of his own.

Resting his hips flush against Leon's bottom, Sephiroth did not move until the semen overflowed onto Leon's quivering thighs.

When Sephiroth pulled out, Leon rolled onto his side, with relief, believing his first time to be over.

To Leon's shock, Sephiroth raised his left leg, hooked the underside of the knee over his shoulder, and thrust back in.

Sephiroth deciphered the question in Leon's amazed eyes. "Zero refractory period. A side-effect of standard healing enhancements for First Class SOLDIERS. Do not worry. I'm monitoring your vitals. Relax, Pretty Lion. Our child forms while I speak."

Nodding to show he had heard, Leon gripped the bed sheets with one hand, focusing on the pleasure. The other hand beginning to masturbate his own renewed erection.

Rotating his hips, wings flapping in unison, Sephiroth ground his erection into Leon's prostate with every thrust.

Leon withstood over five minutes of this jaw-dropping ecstasy before his orgasm crashed over him. His semen spurting over the bed sheets, while his hand tugged for more.

Sephiroth released again into his mate's choking canal. The excess coursing over Leon's pert buttocks and shivering thighs, leaving Sephiroth with an immense sense of pride.

With a yelp, Leon found himself back on his hand-and-knees, where he had started. Looking back over his shoulder, he stared, exhausted, at Sephiroth's erection. "Oh, Husband! Please! I need to rest. I'm not enhanced. Remember?"

Running a large, comforting hand down the slope of Leon's back, Sephiroth leaned forward, bestowing kisses on the dimples right above Leon's butt cheeks. "I never forget, My Love. The health of you, and our children, are paramount to me. Once more, then my Pretty Lion may rest. I promise you."

Nodding a weary head, Leon turned back around. Lowering his upper body to the mattress, while Sephiroth held his hips with a vice-like grip, he moaned when Sephiroth thrust in, hitting his prostrate spot-on.

Hiding his blushing face in the sheets, Leon relished in Sephiroth's total domination over his body. The once-piercing pain long extinguished by the full-to-bursting pleasure. From this position, he felt like Sephiroth's erection was carving him into shape, from the inside-out.

Knowing he had agreed on letting his mate rest, Sephiroth held nothing back in the pursuit of his own pleasure.

Reaching forward, Sephiroth grabbed Leon by the long hair. Using his other arm to support Leon's upper body, he sat back on his heels.

Since Leon had almost no strength left, Sephiroth used his own to move Leon's body up-and-down his erection. His greedy mouth feasting on Leon's, while he sucked Leon's tongue like candy.

Leon's body thrummed with feeling. His senses taxed to their very limits by his husband's physical demands on his body.

Tearing his mouth, for just a fleeting moment from Sephiroth's, Leon petted the side of his mate's face. "Sephiroth. Come. Come now. Please, Husband. I fear you'll break me if you go on."

Kissing the side of Leon's face, rubbing the dear cheek with his own, Sephiroth resumed his pounding. His hand working to bring his mate to a lasting orgasm.

Head lolling on Sephiroth's shoulder, Leon emitted a small yell. His released semen flowing over Sephiroth's hand, only to be licked clean a moment later.

Licking the scar of damning teeth marks, left on Leon's neck juncture, from their first meeting, Sephiroth allowed his orgasm to overtake his senses.

Bringing Leon with him, Sephiroth flopped on his side, while still releasing inside his mate.

Leon rubbed a marveling hand over his lower belly. "Full. So full. Husband, please pull out. I'm too full."

Hiding his face in Leon's hair, Sephiroth inhaled the sweet scent, not moving an inch. "No."

The sulk returned to Leon's face. "I can't sleep like this, Sephiroth. I feel like I'm about to explode."

Rising up on his elbow, Sephiroth turned Leon's head, smiling at the Kitten pout found. "I clean you, Pretty Lion. My scent only. Understand?"

Feeling a sense of victory, the sun brightened Leon's face. His released Light warming Sephiroth to the depths of his very soul. "Oh yes, Husband. I understand."

Gently pulling out, Sephiroth got out of bed.

Holding a beaming Leon, like a new bride, Sephiroth took him to their bathroom. "Remember, Pretty Lion. You asked for this. Do not be surprised when whatever happens occurs."

After an intense "anal cleansing," which seemed more like a fingering session/blowjob, and being taken four more times in quick succession, Leon decided he would never ask for anything from Sephiroth again.

For rest assured, Sephiroth would find some way to have sex with Leon, while dutifully accomplishing the task.

XXX

Nine Months Later

"Chocoboo. Baby Chocobooo. How I love my little Baby Chocobooo." With a blinding smile, Zack Fair sang to the little Cloud look-a-like cradled safe in his arms.

Sephiroth glared from his pacing spot. "Zackary, I know you must know another song to sing. If not, think one up before I murder you in front of your child."

Zack directed his sunshine over to his snarling best friend. "Relax, Seph. It's not like Yuffie's getting the babies out. You got the best of the best. The dynamic duo of Merlin and Aerith. If I can trust them with my Spiky, you gotta trust them with the Lion."

Sitting down next to Zack, with an uncharacteristic flop, Sephiroth buried his head in his hands. "Strife's enhancements helped in his labor. His healing assured. Leon has nothing of the sort."

Sephiroth raised his head, seeing nothing but the pain in Leon's face, before Vincent had escorted him from the room. "Without the Pretty Lion, Zackary, I fear for my sanity. Without him, I have nothing."

Sephiroth felt a comforting gold gauntlet grip his shoulder. His father's long frame bent down to sit next to him.

Vincent reached over to pet the baby's growing blond spikes. "Zack's correct, My Son. Aerith informed me that the labor goes smoothly. My grandchildren will take their first breaths soon. About your sanity, I do not fear. You're surrounded by family now. We shall always keep you from the brink."

Sephiroth played with the baby's grasping fingers for a long moment. "Family? Hmph. Thank you, Father. Once again, your wisdom has helped and comforted me in my time of need."

Giving a subtle nudge of a thin shoulder, Vincent's red eyes glowed with love. "This is what fathers are for, Sephiroth. You shall have experiences soon with your own children."

Hiding a small smile, with his long silver hair, Sephiroth's head shot up when he heard a humongous yowl of joy.

Vincent's lip curled in disdain. "Honestly, Cid! Must you announce the birth of our grandchildren to all the Worlds?"

Dancing a bizarre jig up to the trio, and baby, Cid Highwind released another yell. "Wahooo! Mah boy Leon's jest birthed the most beautiful set of grandbabies in all the Worlds! Whoa! Hey now!"

Cid barely managed to move, when a freight train, named Sephiroth, barreled past him. He grinned back towards a stone-faced Vincent and amused Zack. "Can't blame the boy. Leon was screamin' the house down when you yanked him out."

Vincent turned his nose up, when the Captain came in for a fly-by kiss. "You expect a reward with that flimsy excuse of information? Are they boys or girls? Have they been named yet?"

Scratching the back of his head, Cid grinned at the Missus's spunk. "We got one of each, Vince. Boy and a girl. Gods blessed us. Leon didn't name 'em yet. Wanted to wait for Sephiroth's okay."

Vincent swiftly turned, hiding his visage from both Cid and Zack. "Oh. Well, how wonderful. I am very pleased. Yes, Cid. The Gods have truly blessed us."

Saluting back to Zack, who had begun to walk back towards the house, Cid enclosed his shaking Dark Angel with an inescapable embrace. "He's gone, Vince. Jest you and me, like always."

Vincent whirled around, burying his face in Cid's secure warmth. Rare tears wetted the Captain's strong shoulders. "Oh, Cid. I'm so happy. I have my family back. I never dreamed… Could never hope…"

Cid rocked his Missus close. "Shhh. Yer scared. I know. Yer already thinkin' somethin' bad's gonna happen. Don't you worry. Yer with The Captain. Have Ah ever let ya down?"

Careful of his enhanced strength, Vincent returned his love's embrace. "No, Cid. You never have and I know you never will. You must stay strong, My Sky. Our grandchildren shall need your dependable strength."

Chuckling, Cid gave his concerned mate a toe-curling kiss. "Death's never gonna get the Captain. The Ol' Venus Gospel ain't never missed yet."

Hiding his smile in Cid's short blond hair, Vincent released a low chuckle, while Cid twirled him around with renewed joy. "I love you, Cid Highwind."

Whooping, Cid twirled away. "Right back atcha, Vincent Valentine-Highwind. Right back atcha"

XXX

With Aerith's soft hand of encouragement pushing him forward, a hesitant Sephiroth edged into the bedroom he shared with Leon. His new family resting in the large bed.

Raising tired, but overjoyed eyes, Leon smiled. "We've been waiting, Daddy. Come say hello."

Careful not to jostle Leon's still-healing frame, Sephiroth laid his long body down. Leaning forward, he inhaled the twins' scents, imprinting them in his mind. Kissing each forehead in turn, he thanked the Gods for these gifts. "What shall we name them?"

Bestowing a kiss to the top of Sephiroth's head, Leon looked down to his sleeping babies, one brunet, the other black-haired. "I want to name our boy Laguna, after my father. To tell the truth, he looks more like him than us. I'm not sure about our baby girl. Do you think she takes after Vincent?"

Peering closer at his black-haired baby's face, Sephiroth's small smile widened. "Yes, she does. Father will be truly pleased."

Resting all his weight now against Sephiroth, Leon kissed his cheek. "Vincent once told me his mother's name was Isabel. Can that be her name, Husband?"

Turning his head, Sephiroth gave Leon a deep, soul-stirring kiss. "I would like that very much, Pretty Lion."

Sighing with bliss, Leon rocked his babies. "Did you hear? Cloud's pregnant again."

Following his Lion's train of thought, Sephiroth purred in response. "We wouldn't want the child to grow up without a playmate. Do we?"

Burying his blushing face in Sephiroth's neck, Leon grinned. "Oh no, Husband, especially since Cid and Vincent already told me they'd be kidnapping these two everyday. Think of all the free time I'll have all alone."

Growling in distress, Sephiroth brought Leon's face out of hiding to feast on sweet lips. "Two weeks. Aerith informed me that you have two weeks to heal. Relish the time, Mate. You will be pregnant again soon enough."

Nuzzling his nose against Sephiroth's, Leon licked his lips. "Will you stop taking me even then?"

Groaning in frustration, much to his wicked Kitten's delight, Sephiroth plumped Leon's lips with more kisses. "No, Pretty Lion, even if you beg and plead. I will never stop fulfilling my desire with your body."

Resting in contentment, back on his husband's tense shoulder, Leon sighed with relief. "Good."