I saw you in the hallway,
I bet that's what they all say,
You probably didn't even notice.

I gazed at him, directly into his beautiful brown eyes as he passed me in the crowded PCA hallway.

Maybe I'm crazy, but I wish he'd turn around, grab me by my waist, and kiss me as feverishly as I wanted him at this very second.

I mean, he did kiss me once before, what's one more kiss going to hurt? What's three more kisses going to hurt?

'Who am I kidding!? I want to spend the night in his arms, feeling his lips on mine as I feel the butterflies turn my stomach in different directions without a moment's haste. I want him.'

I looked back down at my gruesome excuse for a lunch and repeatedly stabbed at it with my fork.

"I think that cow has been mutilated enough."

I looked up to see Zoey Brooks staring at me with an amused smile.

"Well, you never know."

I feigned a smile and Zoey's eyes grew stern.

"Quinn, if you're still upset about Mark and Brooke I could always get James and Michael to beat him up for you."

I laughed at her comment. True, I was upset about Mark dumping me for some tank top trollop, but my aggravation didn't derive from that. This was all because of him. The one boy who, up until now never paid me any mind.

His name was Logan Reese.

"Nah, I'll get over it in a few days. I promise."

I lied, I was already over him, Mark was nothing more than a happy memory. Logan was what I wanted.

I was the loser,
Who was staring at my shoes and
Couldn't think of nothing to say.

I held it in my hand. This tiny little piece of notebook paper is going to make or break whatever this thing is that's going on between Quinn and I.

I can't even help lifting my eyes from the ground for just one moment.

'She's eating her lunch'

Eyes back to the ground, bag even more over my shoulder, and I continue my lonely walk to class.

'She's so beautiful.'

I can't help the thoughts that pour into my mind while Mr. Fisher babbles on about some sort of Roman nonsense.

I take the note and clutch it firmly within my grasp.

'3…2…1…'

Ring!

I bolted out of there so fast I think my hair may have actually moved.

I darted over to Quinn's locker, kissed the tiny piece of paper and slipped it through the cracks.

I mentally crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. I hoped that she'd be with me.

I'm on the runway,
Of a flight that's going one way,
On "cross your finger" airlines.
I'm picking up pace
I'm getting nervous in the worst way, here goes nothing

I carelessly entered the combination to my locker, I was trying to get my chemistry book and make it to class, when something caught my eye.

Quinn 1/18/08

One week ago today.

I laughed at his childish antics as I opened the letter in order to peruse its contents.

I would love nothing more than to spend some time with you on the commons. I haven't been able to stop thinking about that kiss, and this is all in hopes that you feel the same way. Let me caress you one more time, just to see if all of this anticipation is all for nothing.

I nearly lost it; I almost dropped the letter in my burst of excitement.

He was going to see me tonight.

My stomach fluttered at the thought.

I made sure to find him immediately.

I needed to see him, to confirm my suspicions and to tell him all at once how I felt about his letter and about that moment we shared that afternoon.

I checked my watch.

'4:30'

He'll be with Michael and James right now playing basketball or something.

I took off.

Never mind that I'll miss chemistry for the first time since I started here at PCA. Never mind that my perfect attendance isn't going to be there any longer. None of that matters to me right now.

Right now, I want to hold him. Right now I need him. Right now I'm running as fast as I possibly can to the basketball courts.

"Logan!"

I called out to him as timidly as possible.

He dropped the ball as he was about to make a pass at Michael. He raised his left eyebrow and shot me a cocky grin.

"What do you want Pensky?"

I was dying to hold him, to be near him, to lunge into his arms and kiss him.

I remembered my chemistry book.

"Erm, remember? We were supposed to study Chem together? Well, my class was cancelled and I made plans later with Lola and Zoey so can we do it now?"

"But we didn't-"

"I figured you had forgotten, that's why I left you a NOTE in your LOCKER, you probably haven't opened it yet."

He caught on faster than I would've expected.

"Oh, right, I forgot and no I haven't."

He tossed the ball to James.

"We'll finish this game later, guys."

We darted on over to the girl's dorm and I told him to wait for me on the couch while I went to grab my laptop.

As I approached the lounge once again I stared breathlessly at him. His curls were beautiful, his eyes were gorgeous, his arms were muscular… As always… But there was so much more this time.

He wanted to be with me. Really be with me.

Quinn Pensky, you're the luckiest girl alive right now.

He glanced back up at me and smiled, but this time it wasn't his usual cocky smirk, it was the same smile he had given me right before he kissed me. Genuine, beautiful… and completely for me.

I saw her walking over,
She's slowly moving closer,
Wrote her a letter about a week ago and, to my surprise
She replied and said:

I got up and walked towards her, I swept her into my arms and stared into her eyes for as long as I could before worrying that someone may notice.

"Chemistry?"

"We have more than you'll ever find in this stupid book."

She motioned nonchalantly over to her textbook.

"So you'll meet me?"

"I'll see you wherever, whenever, as long as I can be with you."

I held her to me for a moment and I took her over to the janitor's closet in the girl's dorm so that no one would find us.

"Hold me again."

She whispered it so softly that I almost didn't hear her.

Even in the dark I could tell how breathtaking she was. So small, timid, intelligent, the way her eyes lit up the tiny room when she smiled. I complied to her wish happily as I swooped her into my arms yet again.

This time, I wasn't going to hold back. This time, I did what I've been waiting to do for days.

I kissed her.

You can hold me once, You can hold me twice,
Even better if the stars are good tonight.
You can hold me, be my one and only,
This is the reply to the letter you wrote me.

"Be my girlfriend?"

I asked as I pulled my lips from hers in disarray.

She kissed me again, and I felt myself begin to get lost in her mouthwatering taste.

But I pulled apart once more.

"I'll take that as a yes."

I laughed for a second.

"Good."

She kissed me again.

"Because you definitely should."

Now, as the weeks passed by, Quinn and I grew closer and closer together. Our regular "Chemistry study" meetings became more frequent as time went on.

This time though, this time was different.

She was pulling away from me, and I had no idea why.

We met in our closet once more and I kissed her, as is per usual at 6pm every night.

But this time, she stopped me.

"Logan, before I get caught up again, there's something that I need to tell you."

I wanted to kiss her so bad it hurt.

"Right now babe?"

She gave in, I knew she would.

"Tomorrow, after my gym class, meet me on our bench. Please."

I nodded quickly and leaned in to kiss her again.

The next day, nothing went as planned.

You told me to meet you after gym class,
But I forgot to get a hall pass,
And got sent to the office.

I spent the rest of the day staring at the ceiling in my guidance counselor's office.

'I need to call Quinn'

I reached into my pocket to pull out my cell phone.

Only to discover I left it in my dorm.

'Now what!?'

I sighed in frustration and buried my head in my hands.

You tried to call me,
Asked everyone around who saw me,
They didn't even notice.

I flipped my phone shut after trying his cell for the 4th time that day.

I went to the basketball courts, James and Michael hadn't seen him since 3rd period. He was supposed to meet me then.

I approached Zoey and Lola and both informed that neither cared nor knew where Logan might be.

I even resorted to Dustin.

Nothing.

It didn't take me too long of course, to realize that Mr. Koolungara had called him into his office because someone forgot their hall pass.

He met up with me at 10 in the lounge instead of at 6 and explained the whole ordeal.

"…So yeah, and now I'm here."

"I just wish you could've gotten here sooner."

We were sitting on the couch and I stared at my feet not really knowing what to say.

"Babe what's the matter."

He brushed my cheek with his hand and looked directly into my eyes. I looked down again and sighed.

"I'm leaving."

I didn't hold back the tears that threatened to spill over because this was it. After 4 months of sneaking around, and finally deciding who our dates to junior prom were going to be, I had to tell him the truth.

"What?"

His normally sparkling eyes were gleaming with sadness and anger. I lunged into his arms and cried. I wasn't too sure why but I was, I knew this would be the end of something beautiful. This would be the end of something wonderful.

"I don't want to, it's my stupid parents!"

I stood up and paced about the room.

"We're leaving for Virginia in July and heading out to look for a new house. I tried to tell you sooner but…"

I felt a force expel itself onto my lips and force me onto the couch.

We stayed up the rest of the night hoping to find a way to resolve this issue.

It was 6:30am last I checked the time before finally falling asleep.

You're on your way now,
Moving with your parents to some hick town,
two thousand miles away.

The big day had finally arrived and I showed up at Quinn's house to see her off with an all too painful goodbye.

We agreed to break up but still remain great friends. But I was going to miss her, more than I've ever missed any one person in my life.

She was so beautiful, so much fun, but more importantly… She was mine.

I knew I wasn't losing her forever, but it felt like it.

I walked over to the bench. Our bench. A new semester at PCA had begun and I was living in the past. I walked over to the playground and sat on top of the monkey bars in order to get a good view of the campus.

I let everything hit me all at once. She was gone, she's not coming back, and that realization made me cry more than I ever thought I would.

I'm in the playground,
And there's so much I could say now,
I still remember when...

I made "my" bed, in "my" new house, and then started unpacking everything.

Then I found the letter. His letter, the one that started it all, after the kiss that sparked the flame within us and I smiled at the memory.

He was amazing. He's still amazing. And being without him hurts so much. I lied down in bed and I held the letter in my hand as I drifted to sleep.

I saw her walking over,
She's slowly moving closer,
Wrote her a letter about a week ago and, to my surprise
She replied and said:

You can hold me once, You can hold me twice,
Even better if the stars are good tonight.
You can hold me, be my one and only,
This is the reply to the letter you wrote me.

I dreamt about that moment every night. She was everything to me, she was my first real love.

Michael, Chase, Lisa, Lola, Zoey, even Vince have all been so supportive of Quinn and I, and this last year has been so hard on me I don't know how much longer I can stand to be away from her.

Her laugh, her eyes, everything, I miss everything about her.

I wish I could hold her, tell her I love her and kiss her gently. Just like I had the night of the dance.

It's been awhile since we said "hi",
Three hundred and sixty five days have gone by now,
And I could paint of picture of you.
I see you every time I pass your locker,
Remember the time we talked 'til six a.m.
And I'm tired of missing you


Six a.m. and I'm tired of missing you

I took the picture of Logan and I and kissed it goodnight.

'6:30'

Last thing I saw before I finally went to sleep.