Title: Not Adopted… Probably
Status: One-shot
Characters: Vincent Valentine, Grimoire Valentine (Vincent's father)
Rating: G
Genre: Humour, Family
Summary: Vincent has doubts about his parentage.
When Vincent is ten, he first begins to have doubts about his parentage. He covertly checks his birth certificate. The names do in fact belong to his mother and father, Drusilla and Grimoire Valentine respectively.
Nothing proves out of the ordinary there, but just to be sure, he 'borrows' the birth certificate of a friend. They are the same gender and were both born at the same hospital, in the same year, and if Vincent's is authentic, they should match. Thus that weekend, Vincent spends a few hours with Grimoire's microscope (after saying he needed it for 'homework') comparing the markings of the two certificates. This too proves fruitless.
He's not adopted. At least not officially.
Finally, he is forced to interrogate his mother. It's a dangerous manoeuvre and must be handled with extreme care.
He memorizes the television schedule and so one day when she's knitting in the living room, he turns on the TV to a show that specializes in revealing the results of DNA tests to a live audience.
It seems to be all go according to plan - on the screen, one small child, clearly distraught by his results, is clinging desperately to an adult male. ("You're my daddy. You'll always be my daddy.") At this moment, Vincent turns to strike up a casual conversation with his mother…
…who just so happens to be looking directly at him.
"Vinnie," she asks, "why are you watching this?"
"I was bored." The lie lies thick on his tongue and already he can see all his work unravelling.
"You hate this kind of show."
Her dark eyes burrow deep into his own, scouring them for the truth. There is no escape. No reprieve. Nothing that can be done except ride out the inevitable.
"Oh," she says. Her lips twitch and form a wry smile. "No such luck, sweetie."
A few months later, the Valentines go to a fancy restaurant. Vincent and Grimoire both wear suits. His mother wears a navy-blue dress.
Before they reach their table, Grimoire gets down on a knee, grasping one of his mother's hands between his own. "You, my love, are the light of my life," he says loudly enough that everyone in restaurant can hear. "The guiding star that I navigate by…"
The man is supposed to be a scientist. Vincent can't help but think that this sort of unscientific talk should be banned in Grimoire's profession.
As if hearing this, Grimoire continues. "You are the electron to my nucleus."
At least the primary lighting of the restaurant is candles and Vincent's suit is black. Without too much trouble, he is able to find a shadow that he can blend into.
"I may never truly predict your flight, but I will be forever drawn to you."
The man is (most likely) Vincent's father despite the substantial evidence to the contrary.
Grimoire Valentine is overdramatic, border-line insane and a hopeless romantic.
Vincent is not a thing like him.