Dranatic-Snitch: Well, this is the first Naruto Fanfic AND SasuNaru fic that I've attempted, and I'd really like some feedback. It. I'll post Naruto's thoughts soon, I promise. Hopefully, Sasuke's in character...
Sasuke
What is humanity, at any rate? Love can wound deeper than any kunai or shuriken flung in the heat of battle, love is wrong, because it makes one lose sight of his goals and the imperfections of mankind, and with this temporary blindness, problems cannot be eradicated. Clans cannot be avenged.
Fear and anxiety: these I find absolutely no use for; they are the tools of weak cowards, preparing to turn and run from battle. And hatred can blind one so deeply that it aids the inevitable embrace of untimely death that a shinobi must someday face.
Yet hatred is the only small slice of humanity that I willingly welcome into my otherwise shadowed and guarded heart. It is hatred that drives me on to achieve my life's purpose, and increases the bloodlust that rises when I think of those dead, mangekyou eyes.
See, that is yet another reason that I can't allow myself to engage in a friendship with him, let alone a love relationship. My heart has no room for a loudmouthed idiot; it's already been tainted by Itachi's venom, and Naruto would just hold me back. And yet…that same noisy excuse for a ninja is the only true friend that I feel I have in Konoha, one of few people who doesn't look upon me as royalty just because I'm from the Uchiha clan, or regard me with sanctimony and compare me to an extinct tribe of people. Naruto doesn't give a damn about things like that; he places his values in courage, strength and loyalty. I still find it hard to believe that Naruto, the lonely prankster who came last in every test at the academy, has become so strong in a few short years. I suppose I must admit it; I have indeed allowed him to come closer to breaking the ice around my heart than I intended. But I cannot allow this to go on, his eyes drown me, his bright hair and hideously outlandish clothes obscure my vision.
I don't have time to nurture him, like the child he is on the surface. I'm unable to give my unhealthy obsession the love, devotion or even acknowledgement that he craves (and deserves) so obstinately.
I may sound like a stuck record when I iterate this for yet another time, but Itachi is my goal. He represents the fake stereotypical big brother I needed, the cold-hearted murdering psychopath that I am yet to become, and the obstacle I need to overcome. That's why I can't cosset the subconscious indulgences I desire. Why I can't satisfy the emptiness I know I've caused in Naruto's forgiving, naïve heart. Because Itachi is like a drug, a venom, a toxin that invades every fibre of my being, every cell of the future I am trying so desperately to piece together. He is my addiction, whilst Naruto is my obsession. Without Naruto, my one tiny slice of personality, the person I could have been, is gone. But I would live on, just to fulfil my ambition. In the absence of Itachi, I would lose everything I have told myself since the massacre, my reason of existence, everything. I would fall apart, and nothing at all could fix me. Not even a certain loud-mouthed dead last. It is so much harder to wean yourself off of a lifelong addiction, especially one as rancid as Itachi. So much harder than brushing an obsession aside, as though it were an irksome mosquito.
Why can't he be a mosquito, something easy for me to squash, destroy, forget? But our relationship isn't so simplistic. I wish it were, more for his sake than mine. These feelings for Naruto…I did not ask for them. Where did they come from? Perhaps a test from a higher being, evaluating the strength of my devotion to vengeance? We have an unspeakable bond between us that I'm afraid to understand. But when I'm with him, I don't feel so alone, I feel fuller in some way. Less robotic, dead, more the teenage boy that I truly should be. Not so much like Itachi's puppet, led on a string of hate, pretence and death. But I threw it away, the one chance at normality.
Is it not wiser to hide behind an impenetrable mask, stronger than any metallic armour? This mask of mine, this seamless, unblemished shell is my saving grace, and I will not take it off. And I will not come home.
Dranatic-Snitch: So, what did ya think of it? Slightly insane, too many big words? Please review, as I'd like to know if I'm wasting my time and should really be doing my homework...constructive critism welcomed, flames are just stupid, please don't bother to insult my favourite pairing; it won't upset me, or change my opinion so...what's the point?