I do not own Darkwing Duck.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Season of Giving
Honker Muddlefoot eyed his best friend nervously. "Gee, Gosalyn. Shouldn't we wait until your dad gets home?"
Gosalyn Mallard dragged a metal ladder across the snowy lawn. "I've been begging him for a week to get these lights up. But he's been running off to S.H.U.S.H. meetings and he's even started patrolling in the day to keep back the Christmas crime spree."
Honker tugged his wool hat down to cover his forehead. "Don't you guys have Mallard Christmas traditions?"
The fourteen-year-old redhead snorted and adjusted the ladder against the side of the house. "He's still determined to keep me away from my presents until Christmas morning. We did get the tree and decorate it together. And I guess I should consider myself lucky that we managed to bake one batch of gingerbread cookies. But is it so wrong to want to keep Dad to myself for one month?"
"Well, I guess not. Especially considering it's the Christmas season." Honker carried a stack of cardboard boxes over to the ladder and set them down. "But your dad is Darkwing Duck. He's got a duty to the city. Unfortunately, criminals aren't going to stop committing illegal deeds just because it's Christmas."
"They should," Gosalyn huffed and pulled a string of multi-coloured lights from the top box. "Don't they know Christmas is a time for joy and peace?"
"Gos, that's why criminals hate Christmas," Honker pointed out, holding one end of the lights as Gosalyn scaled the ladder.
"Well, nothing is going to ruin Christmas this year! Sure, when I was nine, that Christmas was great. Then there came Negaduck kidnapping Launchpad to lure my dad into his clutches, F.O.W.L. attempting to take over S.H.U.S.H. on Christmas Eve and then those stupid Hats manage to escape again and try to eliminate you." Gosalyn hoisted herself onto the roof and started hooking up the lights. "I want one, just one Christmas where it can be me, Launchpad and Dad sitting by the tree, opening presents and drinking hot chocolate."
"Maybe your Christmas wish will come true."
"Please!" Gosalyn snorted. "No Christmas magic can prevent the evil doers from wreaking havoc in St. Canard."
"I don't know about that. Villains hate Christmas because, well, maybe it reminds them that they're lonely."
"They wouldn't be lonely if they weren't such jerks," Gosalyn muttered. But she perked up as an idea hit her and she grinned widely. "But maybe it would work!"
Honker eyed her nervously. "What will work?"
"Honk, you're brilliant! Maybe if I show some Christmas spirit, the villains will appreciate it and give Dad the day off!"
"How are you going to do that?" Honker asked, bewildered.
"I dunno. We can figure that part out later. I'm determined to make this Christmas a relaxing one. Now come up here and help me untangle these stupid lights."
Honker groaned and reluctantly climbed up the ladder. The metal was frozen and numbed his wings. "Why couldn't you have done that when you were on the ground?"
"Didn't think of it." Gosalyn shrugged and together the two teens attempted to get the knot out of the lights.
Gosalyn suddenly lost her footing and slid down the icy roof. "Honker!"
Honker dropped his strand of lights and leapt forwards. He grabbed hold of Gosalyn's wings and attempted to haul her back to safety. He too slipped and his webbed feet got caught in the pile of lights he was standing in. He careened off of the roof and dangled dangerously high up with Gosalyn clinging to his wings.
"Help!"
...
"Launchpad, why is it that the criminals cause the most trouble during the Christmas season?" Darkwing asked as he and his sidekick sped home on the Ratcatcher. "This is the worst year yet!"
"Gee, DW, I guess it's because they want to make people miserable. Christmas is where everyone is happy. Villains don't like that."
"Well, they're doing a good job of making me miserable." Darkwing scowled. "In saving everyone else's Christmas, I've neglected my own!"
"That's not true!" Launchpad protested. "You got the tree, baked Christmas goodies and went Christmas shopping-all of them done with Gosalyn."
"But we still haven't put the lights up! We didn't sing Christmas carols or drink hot chocolate by a roaring fire. I'm worried Gosalyn might start feeling neglected."
"You could always take a day off," Launchpad suggested.
"I would love to, but I can't. A hero's work is never done." Darkwing rode into the Tower and sighed. "Let's get going. Maybe we'll have some time to do more Christmas stuff before some jerk robs a charity Santa."
The two appeared back in Drake Mallard's modern home-and were greeted by the sight of Honker and Gosalyn swinging in front of the window.
"Gosalyn!" Drake shouted and rushed outside. The cold wind nipped at his body but he hardly noticed it. He managed to catch Gosalyn as she finally lost her grip and plummeted.
"Thanks, Dad!" she panted. "I was afraid I would crack my head open."
"What do you think you're doing?" Drake demanded, setting his daughter down and frowning. "You know you're not allowed to climb on the roof!"
"Sorry, Dad." Gosalyn stared up at him with big green eyes. "I just really wanted to get the Christmas lights up. And you've working constantly, so I thought you wouldn't have time-"
"I'll always have time for you," Drake interrupted. "Especially around Christmas and concerning our Christmas traditions." He rubbed Gosalyn's head fondly. "But first, we ought to get Honker down before he breaks his neck."
"That would be nice," agreed Honker.
"On it!" Launchpad untangled Honker with care and set him on the ground. "There ya go, Honkman."
"Thanks." Honker adjusted his glasses. "I'll see you later, Gos."
"First thing tomorrow," Gosalyn confirmed. "Maybe sooner, if Dad blows a gasket. Literally."
"Very funny," Drake muttered, rubbing his wings to keep them warm. "I'm going to get dressed properly and then I'm going to show you what your old man can really do."
...
Gosalyn grinned as she handed her dazed father a mug of hot chocolate. The fire crackled in the hearth and Drake was curled up on the couch. "Good thing Honker is a man of science, huh Dad?"
Drake had indeed blown a fuse in the lights, plunging their house and others on their street into darkness. Honker was over in an instant and fixed the problem in no time. "It wasn't my fault," Drake muttered.
"Yeah. I'm sure it was just a coincidence that all the houses on our block went black," Launchpad said cheerfully, kicking up his feet and relaxing.
Gosalyn giggled and snuggled beside her father. Despite being a teenager, she still enjoyed close moments with him. A tough life in the orphanage had taught her about the importance of family.
As Drake began to tell the classic tale of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, Gosalyn smiled sleepily and closed her eyes.
No matter what, she would make this Christmas a peaceful, relaxing one.
...
"You want to do what?"
Gosalyn barely flinched at Honker's baffled cry. The two friends were walking through the mall, dodging crazed shoppers and keeping close to each other. "Well, I came to a solution last night. We can't just go to Quackerjack's place and start decking it out with Christmas cheer. He'd tear us apart."
"We? Us?" Honker squeaked.
Gosalyn ignored him. "I figure, if we show these creeps that they're at least thought of then maybe they might let off for a few days."
"Gosalyn, do you know how many enemies your father has?" Honker protested. "We don't have the money to buy them all presents! And I can just hear what your dad would be saying if he found out what we're doing. Buying Christmas presents for hardened criminals...he'd kill you!"
"He'd kill us," Gosalyn corrected. "You're starting to get a fair share of the lectures too."
"Am I supposed to be happy about that?"
"Oh, relax! No one's gonna know what we're doing. We send the gifts anonymously. We only have six creeps to shop for; Megavolt, Steelbeak, Bushroot, Tuskernini, Splatter Phoenix and Quackerjack. You know, I'm really glad Negaduck got thrown in jail two days ago. It would have been heck trying to find a present for him."
"What exactly are we looking for?" Honker asked, hardly believing that they were Christmas shopping for Darkwing's enemies.
Gosalyn pressed against the wall to avoid a stampede of shoppers. Honker got jostled into a candy cane display and he groaned. Gosalyn quelled a giggle and helped him to his feet. "Well, Bushroot is easy. We'll grab something from a plant store. Maybe we can get Tuskernini a new camera or something."
"How much money do you think we have?" Honker asked, brushing himself off.
"Enough," Gosalyn dismissed. "Splatter Phoenix, we'll get a set of paint brushes, duh. It's simple, Honk."
"Steelbeak?" Honker asked.
"A really expensive suit," Gosalyn answered.
"Oh, geez."
The two made their rounds. A pretty daisy for Bushroot, a new roll of film for Tuskernini, a pack of soft-feathered paintbrushes for Splatter Phoenix, a box of light bulbs for Megavolt and Gosalyn was currently in a fierce battle for an antique Jack-in-the-Box.
"Hands off, lady!" Gosalyn snapped. "I saw it first!"
Honker watched nervously from the sidelines and balanced the bags in his arms. "Gosalyn, just grab another one!"
"It's the principal of the matter!" Gosalyn hollered back.
"Gos-I mean, little girl!"
"Oh, great!" Honker moaned.
Darkwing Duck and Launchpad appeared at the front of the crowd. Gosalyn only relinquished the toy when the masked hero picked her up and swung her to the side. The woman she had been fighting with huffed and stormed away. The crowd dispersed now that the show was over and continued their Christmas shopping, leaving Honker with no cover.
"What brings you here Darkwing?" Gosalyn asked innocently.
Darkwing glared at her. "Megavolt was on his way to steal the Christmas lights but I cut him off. I was coming to see if there was any disruption of the peace. And guess who was the one disrupting?"
"Hey, I saw that toy first!"
"Gosalyn, you're fourteen!" Darkwing exclaimed. "Why would you want a Jack-in-the-Box?"
"Especially one that's creepy looking," Launchpad added.
Gosalyn shrugged. "I dunno. It looked cool."
Darkwing rubbed his forehead. "Christmas is the season of giving, Gosalyn. I thought you learned that lesson. And just what are you buying?"
His eyes strayed to Honker next. The boy flushed and grinned sheepishly. "Hello, Mr. Darkwing."
"Stuff," Gosalyn said evasively.
Darkwing made his way over to Honker to peek into the bags. A sudden scream erupted from the other side of the mall. Darkwing shot Gosalyn a stern glare. "We'll be having a talk later, young lady. And help Honker with the bags-he isn't your servant."
The two waved as hero and sidekick took off to assist the person who had screamed. Gosalyn let out a sigh of relief. "Man that was close." She grabbed the last remaining Jack-in-the-Box. "Let's get out of here."
"Gosalyn, do you really believe this will work?" Honker asked as they paid and set off once more.
"I wouldn't be doing all this if I didn't," Gosalyn replied smartly. "How much do we have left?"
Honker handed Gosalyn some of the bags and counted the leftover money. "Twenty bucks."
They entered a high-class clothing store and browsed the silk suits. "The cheapest one is a hundred and fifty bucks!" Honker hissed. "Gos, we don't have that kind of money!"
"Steelbeak isn't going to stop breaking the law for a coupon to a cheeseburger joint or some twenty buck bargain store suit!" Gosalyn snapped. "He's obsessed with appearance. If we get him a classy, decent suit he won't resist the urge to go out and show it off!"
Honker threw his arms in the air, dislodging the bags as he did so. "Tell me, where are we going to get a hundred and fifty bucks?" he demanded.
Gosalyn screwed her face up in thought. "Hmm...you got some old technology, right?"
"Yes, but-"
"There we go! We'll just pawn it off!" Gosalyn picked up the bags and took off. Honker groaned and rushed after her.
...
"I knew this wasn't going to be easy," Gosalyn sighed and stared at her best friend. He was holding the box of his old cell phones, handheld game systems and PDA's. "Honk, you don't even use this stuff anymore!"
"But it might come in handy one day!" Honker protested, clutching the box to his chest protectively.
"Yeah, right. Your parents get you the latest everything on Christmas. You won't even spare this stuff another thought." Gosalyn wrenched the box from his wings. "Come on. It'll be less painful once we get it over with. And we need to hurry up. It won't be long before Tank goes snooping."
"Why can't we keep the stuff at your place?" Honker asked as they set back out into the cold winter atmosphere.
"With my dad? Please. He'll have that stuff sniffed out in seconds. And what am I supposed to say? It's for a project? He'll never buy that."
They reached the mall once more and headed for a pawn shop that was sleazy enough not to ask for ID from two underage kids. The collection was sold for a total of one hundred and thirty dollars.
"Perfect!" Gosalyn crooned, shuffling the bills in her wings and grinning widely.
"Perfect," Honker echoed sadly, mourning the loss of his outdated tech.
"Cheer up, Honk. Hey, I'll even let you pick out the suit."
"That'll make me feel better," Honker muttered. But he chose a white and purple silk suit; it was flashy and classy and perfect for Steelbeak. "I can't believe we're spending over a hundred dollars on a guy we don't even like."
"It'll all be worth it in the end," Gosalyn said firmly. "Now, we need to gift wrap this stuff and find out where these creeps are hiding. Think you can hack into the S.H.U.S.H. mainframe? They might keep tabs on those jerks."
"But-!"
"Great! We'll meet back at my place after dinner. See you later, Honk!"
Honker watched in dismay as his redheaded friend took off into the crowd. "I am so getting arrested."
...
It took a while, but the genius managed to find out where Darkwing's villains were currently hiding out. He shovelled down his dinner and ran next door.
"Hello, Honker," Drake greeted once he answered the boy's polite knocks. "I'm afraid you won't be able to visit. Gosalyn is grounded for the night."
"For fighting for the Jack-in-the-Box?" Honker asked.
"Partially, yes. She should know better than to fight on Christmas-and she shouldn't even be buying toys for herself in the first place." He eyed Honker suspiciously. "Just what did she want it for, anyway?"
Honker flushed. "She just thought it looked cool and wanted it. You know Gosalyn."
"Mm-hmm." Drake didn't sound convinced. "Well Honker, she'll see you tomorrow-"
"Aw, come on DW," Launchpad said as he entered the front hall and thrust a mug of hot chocolate into Honker's wing. "It's Christmas! Let him visit."
"They spent the day together! Really, they spend ten minutes apart and it's like they haven't seen each other in decades."
But he opened the door wider and Honker scurried in, his beak frozen.
"Thank you, Mr. Mallard," Honker said gratefully.
"Yeah, yeah." Drake pushed him gently in the direction of the staircase. "Better go and see her before you die from separation anxiety. You got fifteen minutes, alright?"
"Yes, sir." Honker scurried upstairs and entered Gosalyn's room.
"Honk!" Gosalyn glanced up from the pile of wrapping paper and tape. "I thought I would have to sneak you over."
"Your dad is in the Christmas spirit." Honker glanced around the room. "When did you get the presents?"
"When I came home. I slipped through your bedroom window and grabbed everything before coming in through my bedroom window. I shoved everything in my closet. Then Dad came to give me a lecture on being selfish and blah blah blah." Gosalyn slapped a bow on a snowman-covered wrapped present. "It's a good thing I don't clean my room. I found all this Christmas stuff under my bed from last year."
"Wonderful." Honker sat on Gosalyn's bed. "I only have fifteen minutes. Bushroot is at the greenhouse in the St. Canard Botanical Garden Society, Tuskernini is at the abandoned movie lot across town, Megavolt is living in that shady apartment building across from the abandoned movie lot, Steelbeak is living it up in the ritzy St. Canard Glitz and Glamour Hotel (I guess S.H.U.S.H. is giving him a break for the Christmas holidays) and Splatter Phoenix is crashing in the St. Canard Art Museum."
"What about Quackerjack?"
"The run-down toy factory by the city limits." Honker glanced up from his notepad. "Are they all wrapped?"
"Yeah." Gosalyn slapped on the last piece of tape. "You can mail Megavolt's and Steelbeak's gift, but we're gonna have to personally deliver the rest."
"What?" Honker cried.
"Relax! They won't even see us drop them off. We'll do it tomorrow. Maybe in the afternoon. That's normally when the villains get ready to cause chaos." Gosalyn started hiding the evidence. "You can go mail these two." She shoved two brightly wrapped packages in Honker's wings. "Make sure Dad doesn't see them."
Honker let out a long sigh and opened Gosalyn's bedroom window. He climbed out and hid the packages behind the bushes before scurrying back up the drainpipe. "Alright, my fifteen minutes are almost up and I really need to rest. I'll see you tomorrow, Gos."
"Later, Honk."
The things I let myself get into, Honker thought as he left the Mallard residence.
...
"Wake up!"
Honker yelped and tumbled out of bed. Gosalyn stood over him with her wings crossed. She was dressed in her purple sweater, hat and scarf and holding the sack of gifts over her shoulder. "It's noon, Honk! We gotta get going. Did you send those two gifts I gave you last night?"
"Yes, and I haven't had breakfast yet!" Honker protested, feeling his nightstand for his glasses and slipping them on.
Gosalyn shoved a muffin in his wings. "Eat, get dressed and let's head out. Dad and Launchpad are doing a quick daytime patrol before coming home so we can spend Christmas Eve day together. Dad is certain that he's going to be called away on duty tonight."
"Not if we can help it," Honker finished with a smile. Gosalyn grinned and left. Honker got dressed and ate his muffin. He met Gosalyn outside and the two set off to accomplish their Christmas mission.
...
Megavolt stood in the musty, mouldy kitchenette. He stared at the brightly wrapped package on the rotted table, debating on whether or not to open it.
He never liked Christmas. It was a reminder of his miserable existence.
And really, who would open a Christmas gift from Darkwing Duck?
"He must think I'm stupid or something!" Megavolt ranted. "Sure, let's send Megavolt an exploding package and have a good laugh! Like I'm going to fall for that."
He turned on his heel and stalked out. A few seconds passed and he tore back into the room. "The curiosity is killing me!"
Megavolt tore of wrappings; eyes squeezed shut in anticipation for the possible blast. Nothing happened. Slowly, he opened his eyes and stared at the brand-new box of light bulbs. His mind reeled.
Darkwing had sent him a Christmas present.
Darkwing had sent him a Christmas present.
Megavolt eyed his blueprints. They detailed his plan to rescue all the enslaved Christmas lights. He would have hardly hesitated before in causing chaos.
And then Darkwing Duck sent him a Christmas present.
"Maybe it's some sort of hero law or something," Megavolt mused. He thought about his plans before sitting at the table and opening the box.
There would be many Christmases to foil. Right now, he had some new friends to make.
...
"Darkwing Duck? What happened to sending the presents anonymously?" Honker said in disbelief as they walked away from the spotty apartment district. He eyed the label on Quackerjack's package. "Your dad is going to kill you."
"Us," Gosalyn corrected. "And he'll never know! Now come on, we got a few more stops to make."
And so the two honorary Christmas elves made their rounds. Much to Honker's dismay, Gosalyn forced them to stick around to see the fruits of their labour.
Quackerjack was delighted, for lack of a better word. Gosalyn knew he would be entertaining himself with his new toy all night and hopefully for the better part of the next day.
Tuskernini was already making mini films with his three penguin henchmen.
As they passed the Glitz and Glamour Hotel they could see the annual Christmas party through the ballroom windows. There was Steelbeak, dancing (and drinking) it up.
Bushroot was already lovingly caring for his daisy.
As for Splatter Phoenix...
"We didn't think this one through," Honker muttered as Splatter Phoenix got ready to vandalise the famous paintings with her new paintbrushes.
Gosalyn sighed heavily. "Alright, time to turn on the sprinklers."
"And what will that do?"
"It will stop her from being a jerk and Dad doesn't answer to fire alarms," Gosalyn explained. "Cut the security system, and when the sprinklers go off activate lockdown mode: without the alarms."
Honker sighed and pulled out his current PDA. He hooked it up to the security system fastened beside the window and shut it down. Gosalyn climbed in through the window and pulled the fire alarm. The sound was deafening. Splatter Phoenix whirled around. Gosalyn launched back out the window and Honker activated lockdown. Gosalyn slammed the window shut seconds before the bars crashed down. Splatter started screaming but not a word could be heard over the noise.
"Yeah!" Gosalyn cheered. "Another victory for Quiverwing Quack and Arrow Kid!"
"Let's get out of here!" Honker cried as the sirens of the fire trucks got closer. The two booked it. "And how do you know she won't escape using her magic paint?"
"Easy. The water will either wash it away or make it unusable."
"You know, considering she's the only one still attempting to do evil on Christmas, I'd say we did a pretty good job," Honker remarked.
"It's amazing what a little Christmas spirit will do," Gosalyn agreed.
The two made it back to their street. Gosalyn yawned and stretched. "I better get inside before Dad gets home."
"Wait! I still have to give you your gift," Honker said.
"Aw, Honk!" Gosalyn beamed. "I'll be right back, I have to get yours!" She tore inside her house and Honker went into his own. Both came back out with a carefully wrapped gift.
They traded presents and Gosalyn eagerly tore off the paper. "Keen gear!" she exclaimed. It was a custom-made arrow set, with purple and red arrows and the arrow case had silver Quiverwing Quack initials. "Thanks, Honk!"
Honker opened his gift. It was a complete chemistry set, with all the bells and whistles. "Whoa! This is great, Gos!"
They embraced before heading for their respective home. "Merry Christmas, Honker."
"Merry Christmas, Gosalyn."
...
Drake and Launchpad had just arrived from the lair when Gosalyn burst into the living room. "Dad! Look at what Honker got me!"
"What have I told you about Christmas presents?" Drake asked sternly.
"Ah, those are about the presents you give me. Honker and I always open our presents the second we exchange them." She eagerly brandished her new set of arrows. "Aren't they cool?"
"Very," Launchpad agreed. "I'm gonna go make some hot chocolate. I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"
"Remind to thank Honker for encouraging your superhero career," Drake drawled sarcastically as Launchpad went into the kitchen. "Now, I have a question to ask you."
"What is it?"
"I ran into Bushroot on the way home. Here I was, expecting a fight. But do you know what he does? He thanks me for sending him a Christmas present. Before I can ask what he means, he takes off." Drake stared at his daughter. "And then I thought of the sudden shopping trip you and Honker made. Perhaps you could finish the connection for me."
Gosalyn grinned innocently. "Ah, come on Dad. Haven't you heard of Santa Claus?"
"Try again."
"Oh, alright. I wanted one Christmas where you didn't have to rush out to save someone. So, Honker and I gave them some Christmas spirit. After all, you always say this is the season of giving."
Drake shook his head. "Gos, you never cease to amaze me."
Gosalyn beamed and hugged him. "Merry Christmas, Dad."
"Merry Christmas, honey."