REWRITE

Here we go. This story suucked a lot and I know it! lol, it was horrible. So, I'm going to re-do it, and I don't know if I'm even going to follow the original story line. Okay, here we go. This isn't going to have action like the other, but instead explore the idea. Also, I'm just going to make it a nice, long, one shot. Also...the only reason I have the suicide thought part is because it's human nature to think in extremes, okay?

I think I'll change the pairing too...or not have one at all.

"Kaoru, what'd you get for number seven?" Hikaru asked me, fumbling over his Foreign Language homework, "What's French for 'where's the restroom'?"

"Manzana and 'Où est la toilette'." Lately, it's seemed like Hikaru doesn't even attempt to do his homework. True, he's never been good at Foreign Language, but I've been doing homework for two weeks, since he started dating Haruhi. I don't guess I should complain, I've copied his Trig frequently myself.

"Oh, okay. That makes sense. Kao...could I borrow your Trig, too?" My Trig? My Trig is messed up greatly. I should be borrowing his, not the other way around.

"No."

"But why not?" He pouted, playing with his auburn bangs looking depressed like he's so good at doing.

"Why can't you do it yourself? You're the math genius twin, after all. You haven't even done any of your homework yourself in two weeks. What's up with you?" his eyes grow and he sighs.

"I'll just do it myself, Kaoru. I guess it's no big deal..." I feel like he's hiding something from me. Drugs? No, not even this idiot would willingly do that to himself. Secret spy duties? I must be joking.

Maybe he just doesn't want to do it so he's using me for the answers? I don't want to believe that's it, but...I'm not so sure it isn't right. He listens in class like always (pretty much floating through the lesson, but hearing just enough to have a firm grasp on the subject) and participates. But when it comes to work sheets, he just sits there until the bell rings.

"But Hikaru...really, whats wrong?" He lays his pencil down, and I see in this time he's only finished one question. His hand ruffles his hair. His cheeks turn a cute pink that makes you realize why Haruhi likes him. "So?"

"Well...I don't know. I just can't concentrate I guess. Truthfully, I just don't feel like doing it I suppose." He shrugs, brushing my question aside quickly. "Hey, Kaoru," he points to a question, "Could you read that to me?"

Read it to him?

I feel so used. What if...? Just a thought here, but?

~oxox~

A shot, a bang, a scream fill the air. Blood covers him, but who is that?

Me? Surely not. It couldn't be. It's face is twisted with pain, small wails escaping his lips periodically.

A cry, a blood curdling scream, a broken heart.

Am I looking at myself? It's a truly horrifying thought that maybe I am. I look around, and see a gun laying on the floor. What have I done? Something stupid that I would only do in my imagination, like right now.

I'm almost afraid to think about it, but I believe I must, just to tell my heart that Hikaru does love me. That he'd hate it if I was gone.

Another boy cries, seeing his brother dead upon the ground in front of him. A scar that will last the rest of his life. He screams as two men take him away, a sheet covering his face.

I don't want this. If this was reality...I wouldn't forgive myself if I went to Heaven and had the ability to look down on Hikaru suffering. I would hate myself forever.

His brother stares at the stars, a single tear falling down his cheek. He didn't want to show weakness while in her presence, even when the inside of him is torn in half. A girl comes and puts her arm around him soothingly, but gets shooed away. She blamed herself. She starts silently crying next to her boyfriend, who not knowing that she was still behind him, started crying noiselessly but hard. "It'll be alright Hikaru." she whispers into his ear.

Haruhi. She wouldn't have a part it in. No, not really at all. I don't want her to feel that she did.

He lays down to sleep, but doesn't. He thinks about all that they had done before and everything that he wanted to do. America, Europe, all of Asia. They had wanted to go to all of those places together after high school. An Arts school. Maybe a nice house for both of their families in France, the city of love. But no. Not now, and not ever could he even dream about it.

This isn't worth the worry. I love Hikaru and value myself to much. It doesn't even make sense.~

"Kaoru? Are you okay?" I realize I've been zoned out for a good amount of time.

"Yeah. Do you still need my Trig? You can have it." I hand my paper to him. I hope it's all correct.

"Thanks, but maybe you could just help me with it. Kaoru, I've started to realize something. Sometimes...the letters get mixed up and I can't read them right. I guess I should have told you before taking all of your work." he laughs, "It started after that fall off of the coach. I think I hit my head."

I laugh and then sigh, thinking about what I was previously thinking about. Why would anyone do that for a trivial reason? I never would.

"I love you, Hikaru. I'll help you anytime."

Okay, so...this is better than the other crap load :). I could have just deleted it and did nothing, but wheres the pride in that? I myself have a very male mind, and I couldn't just...dishonor myself like that! That isn't me. So, this is a little similar, just get ride of any story line what so ever. Also, I felt bad that I haven't updated much because of school.

Please don't tell me it's stupid because of the extremity of it. That's how some people think. I know I've thought about different possibilities (I never never never would though, don't worry!). I felt I needed to say that because some people are set off by this sort of thing. It's life...

Okay, review and loves ya's!