Not so good Absolutely Safe Capsule

by Master Porky Minch

Porky is going to get in the Absoluetely Safe Capsule... or is he? This is a random idea I came up with when looking up the Absolutely Safe Capsule. There might be some more stuff later on, but for now, enjoy what ya got.

Disclaimer: You know damn well

Begin!

"I will never die. I will never die, nor will I ever be beaten… but it appears my machine has run out of energy. Hahaha. Lucas… you have not won, just so you know."

The Pig King told Lucas, Kumatora, Duster, and Boney, as he pressed a button.

He and the others stood and waited for a few seconds as nothing happened. Porky pressed the button again; nothing came up. He pressed it again; still wouldn't work. At this, Porky Minch became pissed, as he continuously pressed the button, eventually pounding on it with his fist. After 30 seconds of constant failure, Porky took out a cell phone.

"Hello? Dr. Andonuts? Yes I am having a small problem… well if you want to know… WHERE THE HELL IS MY ABSOLUTELY SAFE CAPSULE!... Well then take the test subject out and get it to me...! Wait wha…?"

Lucas and co. looked at each other in confusion. "…So, you're telling me that it was built so that once someone enters it, they can never get out. In other words, you were trying to trap me, right? Well get a spare down here, we got a game to do and- excuse me…? I'LL BREAK THE 4th WALL HOWEVER MUCH I FUCKING PLEASE!"

"Hey!" shouted Duster. "You can't say that in a rated T fanfic!" "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! YOU GOD DAMN GOT THAT!" the cave was constantly shaking from Porky's constant shouting. "Yeah, I'm still there… uh-huh… yep… ok. Bring it down. Bye." Pretty soon, a capsule with a pig snout came. "I will duck in the "Absolutely Safe Capsule" for the time being. While I'm in there no atta- hey! Lucas! Get out of there!"

Lucas was in there, looking for the yo-yo that flew away from his finger, when suddenly, the door to the Absolutely Safe Capsule closed, trapping Lucas inside. "… Um… On second thought, Shigesato Itoi wouldn't have happened to build an Absolutely Destructive Laser, would he…? No? Great, now we don't have a game."

"Now what?" Kumatora said, trying not to cry for her friend stuck in the capsule for as long as he lives. "Hm… Bag of Pork Chips, anybody?" All 3 of what was left of Lucas' co. stared at the old man.

When Dr. Andonuts reached the underground, he saw one Pig King tied to a rock, and one Absolutely Safe Capsule. "…What the hell?"